Perspective
by ekimmuh
Summary: Edward seeks out the counsel of his father and brothers after agreeing to be with Bella after their wedding. What will Edward do with that advise and how will he and Bella prepare for their upcoming wedding night.
1. Chapter 1

I don't know if I'd ever been more nervous in my life as I was now. At least not about talking to Carlisle. He and I had always had a close relationship. He was my father. And he was my friend. He'd helped me get through many struggles through the last ninety years and had given me a flawless example.

I stopped outside his office door. We were alone in the house, which was rare. The girls, including Esme, had all gone shopping with Bella. Jasper and Emmett were out hunting. They'd asked me to go with them but I said no. I'd hunt later. I was still in control. I could wait. I needed to talk to Carlisle. I needed to talk to my father. I needed his advice, his help.

He could hear me. I knew. I heard him close the book he'd been reading as I approached. He was waiting. I could hear his thoughts. They were curious. Taking a breath I didn't need, I knocked.

_Come in Edward. _

I opened the door. He sat at his desk with his legs crossed, his book lying closed on the desk beside him. I took two steps into the room without bothering to close the door behind me. We were alone, not that a closed door would matter in a house full of vampires.

He didn't say anything as he waited for me to speak. I could hear the question in his thoughts, the concern. I could see the reflection of my distraught face through his mind. Still he waited, his mind open, blank. Carlisle was the most patient person I knew.

After several minutes I spoke. "Bella has agreed to marry me."

"I know." Carlisle said with a little smile. "Congratulations." When I remained silent he became concerned and spoke again, "That is the right sentiment is it not?"

"Yes." I quickly agreed. "Thank you," I said more quietly. Then I grew silent again and this time he asked in his mind,_ What's wrong Edward? Is Bella…?_

I took another deep breath I didn't need. "It's both of us actually." He waited for me to explain. "I told you about our deal. That I agreed to be the one to change her if…if she married me." He nodded.

This was much harder than I ever dreamed it would be. How did you talk to your father about your sex life? But I trusted Carlisle and I knew he would be honest with me. He'd tell me the truth even if it wasn't something I wanted to hear.

"Bella wants to do something before her change." I paused. "And I have agreed." He continued to wait. I couldn't put it off any longer. "Bella wants us to try to be…intimate."

As soon as the words left my mouth I heard his intake of breath and his thoughts started to race. _She wants to have sex Edward?_

I nodded.

_While she's still human? _

I nodded again. His thoughts were much calmer than my own. There were so many at once but one stood out, _Dangerous for her. _"I know," I said and he refocused on me once again, controlling his thoughts.

"You agreed?"

"Yes," I said simply. It was all I could say. I was still having trouble believing I'd agree to this myself. I wanted her more than anything but I was scared to death I would hurt her. That wasn't exactly accurate. I would die if I hurt her.

After another minute of silence he asked. "What can I help you with Edward? I'm sure you already know the dangers…"

"Yes I know. I have thought of that. It's been on my mind ever since I agreed." I paused again. "I need to know what to expect Carlisle. I need to be prepared as best I can." I looked him directly in the eye now. "I don't want to hurt her. I can't hurt her."

"Edward," Carlisle began. _If anyone can do this, you can. _"As for what you should expect…well…it is a very powerful thing. It is like nothing else, very powerful. Physical love is not something you should treat lightly." Out of habit he shifted in his chair. Carlisle acted so human. It had become so natural to him, he didn't even think about it anymore. "As you know, as vampires, our temperaments rarely change. Strong emotions can alter us in permanent ways." He paused for a second and a small smile crossed his face as he continued. "Of course you do not have to worry about that. Bella has already altered you so completely."

Neither of us said anything for a long time. Finally I asked, "So you think this is possible? That I can do this without hurting her, killing her?"

_Yes._ "As I said, it will not be easy for you to control yourself, Edward but… What you have already overcome with Bella is amazing. Hold on to the control you've gained over the past two years and you will be fine." _I have faith in you._

I nodded. "Thank you Carlisle."

Carlisle nodded back. _You're welcome son._

I turned and left the room, closing the door behind me. I heard Carlisle pick up his book again and his thoughts turned back to the words on the page. My thoughts were on Bella, only Bella. Could we do this and her not get hurt? I hoped so. I want to be with her as much as she wants to be with me. Please let Carlisle be right.


	2. Chapter 2

Two weeks had past since my talk with Carlisle and I had to admit my anxiety about my wedding night was getting worse, not better. I thought about talking to my father again and although I'd almost asked him to go for a run with me several times over the last week, well I'd never actually spoken those words. Alice had Bella in her room at the moment going over wedding plans. She'd been stealing her away from me too much lately and although I knew Bella was just down the hall and I could hear her heart beating out a steady rhythm, the physical separation was not helping. It gave me too much time to think. I'd considered joining them, but I knew I'd have to deal with the wrath of Alice.

I heard the front door open and Emmett and Jasper's voices carried up to me. They were in a good mood from the sound of it. A thought crossed my mind but I dismissed it and continued to lie on my bed listening to music.

Esme was in her room going over a new set up blue prints and I could hear her humming happily to herself. Carlisle had just left for the hospital not long ago and would be gone till morning. I listened once again to Alice and Bella. Alice was showing her wedding invitations from the sound of it and then I heard her say, "Come on Bella. There has to be ONE of these you like."

"They all seem nice." Bella said.

"Well of course they're all nice, silly. I picked them. But which one do YOU like?"

"Alice…"

_Ugh! This isn't that difficult. _I hear my sister think but when she speaks to Bella she's a little more patient. "Would you prefer if I just picked one?"

I heard Bella release a loud sigh, "Yes."

"Now," I heard my sister say, "Let's talk about cakes."

Poor Bella. I knew how much she was hating this and by the sound of it, she was going to be in my sisters clutches for a while.

I heard my brother's voices again. This time they were mingled with sounds coming from the TV, some baseball game of course. Although I enjoyed sports, I would much rather play them than watch them. As I listened to them, the thought I had earlier came up fresh again. Maybe I should talk to them. No. I told myself. They will just make fun as they always have.

As I continued to lie there, however, the thought kept returning. Finally I pushed myself off my bed and headed for Alice's room. What did I have to lose anyway? It wasn't like they hadn't made fun of me before.

Knocking on the door Alice's trill little voice told me to come in. Opening the door I saw them both sitting on the bed with at least ten different catalogs laying spread out in front of them. But I barely registered them as my eyes locked on Bella's.

Her smile as soon as she saw me was radiant. She hopped off the bed and quickly made her way over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist and burring her face in my chest. My arms circled around her and I brushed my lips across her hair and taking a deep breath. Her scent filled me and the familiar burn I welcomed with open arms heated my throat.

She looked up, "Did you come to rescue me?" she asked with pleading in her eyes.

My sister's thoughts were shouting at me. _Don't you even think about it Edward Cullen. She's mine today. We have to make decisions. We're running out of time. Do you hear me. NO! You'll have her all night. _

I bent down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Sorry, love." I brushed her hair behind her ear. "You and Alice look like your going to be a while so I thought I'd see if Jasper and Emmett wanted to go hunt." There was quite sadness in her eyes, she still hated when I left her. "I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye."

"Ok." She whispered.

I leaned down and brushed my lips against her ear feeling a shiver run through her. "I'm not going far. I'll be back before you wake tomorrow." I let my lips trail across her cheek until my lips found hers. I pressed gently, allowing my breath to caress her lips before I pulled away.

"Alice can you see Bella home tonight?"

"Of course." She said with a smile and hopped off the bed to grab Bella's arm, pulling her back towards the bed. "Come on Bella, we have a lot to do before I take you home."

As soon as they'd both made it back onto the bed, my sister gave me a fierce look letting me know my presence was no longer desired so I quickly left the room and headed down stairs to my brothers.


	3. Chapter 3

Before I'd made it to the bottom of the stairs my brother's were aware of my presence of course. As I rounded the corner into the living room their thoughts assaulted me.

_Edward you just missed the most awesome play. You should have seen it. I'm going to have to try it out the next time we play ball. _Emmett thought.

Jasper's thoughts were calmer and not focused on the game at all. _Alice with Bella?_ He asked.

"Yes." I said answering his question and Emmett just frowned at me knowing he'd missed something but then seemed not to care as he turned back to the game.

I stood for a moment and pretended to focus the TV. I thought I'd been nervous about talking to Carlisle. I didn't think it could get worse. It could. I could do this, I told myself. I needed to do this. If they could tell me anything that might help it would be worth it and I needed all the information I could get.

I cleared my throat and both of them looked up at me. "I was going to go for a quick hunt and I was wondering if you would like to join me?"

Emmett jumped up immediately. "Why didn't you say so, let's go."

Jasper was a little slower, obviously reading my mood and feeling my nervousness. He looked at me questioningly and I gave him what I knew was a weak smile. Finally he stood, "Sure."

Both Emmett and Jasper headed up the stairs to say a quick goodbye to their wives. They were both back in less than five minutes and we headed out.

We ran through the woods, the wind whipping through our hair. I was trying to calm myself, organize my thoughts. I knew Jasper was feeling my mood. He kept wondering if everything was all right with me in his mind but I didn't answer him. I did need to hunt and our talk could wait until our thirst had been quenched.

Coming to a stop in a small clearing about forty miles from our home, we all stopped to sample the air. There was game in the area, but it was mostly deer. Not my favorite but I'd known that was what would most likely be on the menu tonight since I was not willing to make this a longer trip. Emmett scrunched his nose and Jasper and I laughed. Emmett hated deer even more than the rest of us. He turned to glare at us. "Any reason why were not heading another hundred miles north where we can get some real food?" he asked.

I sobered. "I told Bella I'd be there when she woke up."

Emmett just sighed, resigned. "Ok then." He took another whiff, slipped into his hunting crouch, and was off. Jasper and I followed.

I finished draining my kill and pushed it slightly away from me. Emmett and Jasper were still drinking but were almost done. I stood and made my way over to sit on a large tree that had fallen over to wait for my brothers.

Jasper finished first. He spotted me and walked over, taking a seat beside me. We both watched Emmett as he finished. "We so have to plan a decent hunting trip and soon." Emmett said.

Jasper nodded. "Maybe we can head up into Canada. There's some great wildlife up that way."

"Sounds good to me." Emmett said. Then he looked directly at me. "And we have to do it _before_ the wedding."

I sighed and nodded my head. I hated being away from Bella but I owed my brother's this. After Bella was changed, I had no idea how long it would be before I'd be able to leave her side. Emmett smiled and rubbed his hands together. "Excellent."

I didn't need Jaspers abilities to feel the excitement flowing off of Emmett in waves but I was outside of it at the moment. I knew it was time. I couldn't put it off any longer.

Jasper felt my apprehension, my nervousness. "Edward?"

Emmett's excitement tempered as he realized Jasper and I were not caught up in his mood and he moved his focus to me as well.

I gritted my teeth and took a deep breath. This was not going to be pleasant. "I want…I need some advise."

The confusion on my brother's faces would have been comical but I wasn't anywhere near a lighthearted mood at the moment. I stood up and started pacing. They just watched me and waited. I could hear the questions in their minds.

"Edward what's wrong?"Jasper asked continuing to sample my mood and in turn growing ever anxious himself.

I stopped.

Turning to face them I looked them both in the eye before I spoke. "You are my brother's and…" This was not getting me anywhere fast so I just cut to the chase. "Bella and I are going to try to be…intimate" Wow that was way harder to say to Emmett and Jasper than it had been to Carlisle, "after the wedding." And then I felt I needed to clarify. "Before I change her."

I wasn't looking at them but I paused to wait for their laughter but instead I was greeted with silence. Even their thoughts were blank.

Finally Emmett spoke. "You're going to have sex with her? Human?"

"To try. Yes."

"Wow." Jasper said. _Is that wise Edward?_

I shook my head. "I don't know."

Emmett let out a low growl of frustration. "Could we please have this conversation out loud?" he asked.

Ok this was not what I was expecting. I thought they would be having a field day with this information. They'd always ribbed me endlessly about being the only virgin in the house and then about spending every night in Bella's room watching her sleep.

Finally I couldn't take it anymore. "Look I know it will be dangerous for her which is why I would like to get your…input. You both have very…healthy…sexual relationships and well…I…" I sighed. "I wanted to know what I should expect, what is it like?"

Jasper recovered first. "What do you want to know?"

"Anything, everything. Ok well not everything. I mean I already know the technical stuff. I am looking for more of the…emotions, reactions, I should be prepared for."

"It is a very powerful thing Edward, a very great pleasure. Second only to drinking human blood." Jasper said. _Are you sure you can do this with how her blood smells to you?_

I closed my eyes as I answered. "I have no idea, Jasper. I have no idea if we can do this without me hurting her."

"You do know you'll lose control, right?" Emmett interjected concern in his voice.

"I can not lose control." I stated firmly.

Emmett just shook his head and snorted. _You don't understand. _"You WILL lose control Edward. That's just the way it works."

I started pacing again. There had to be a way for me not to lose control. There has to be. I can't hurt her.

Jasper could feel the worry radiating off me in waves. "Emmett's right Edward. You will lose control. It will be very hard to focus after a certain point. Your instincts take over."

I stopped again. "That can't happen. There has to be a way."

Finally Emmett laughed. But it wasn't a deep belly laugh; it was a sarcastic kind of huff. "Well I guess if anyone could pull it off, it WOULD be you. I mean…I still have no idea how you haven't killed her yet. Not that I want you to kill her. I'm looking forward to Bella becoming my little sister. It's just…"

I cut him off. "I know Emmett. And thanks."

"What are you going to do?" asked Jasper.

"I have no idea." I looked up at the sky and my brother's followed my gaze. They knew what I was thinking and got up to follow me back through the trees to our house.


	4. Chapter 4

It was almost five am by the time I slipped through her window. She was on her side facing away from me, her beautiful brown hair splayed against the pillow. I didn't want to wake her so I made my way over to the rocking chair in the corner and took a seat.

She was in a deep sleep. I had missed her talking. I closed my eyes and concentrated on her heartbeat. The steady rhythm always calmed me. Even the burn in my throat gave me comfort. It was strange really how something that used to cause me so much torment was now a comfort, but it was.

I wonder if it will be any comfort when I try to make love to my Bella. Will the sound of her heartbeat, the smell of her blood keep me grounded enough not to hurt her. I went over what my brothers had told me in the clearing and also the thoughts they'd both thrown at me while we were running back which were much more typical.

_So Edward, would you like me to give you some pointers? I mean as you pointed out, Rose and I have a very "healthy" sex life. _

_Maybe Alice could talk to Bella. I'm sure she has questions. _

"No." I snarled at both of them.

Unfortunately neither of them gave up the entire way home, in fact it had only gotten worse. Although I'd requested Emmett NOT give me "pointers", he proceeded to think through a play by play of one of he and Rose's "evenings." As soon as I'd realized the tone and direction of his thoughts, I tried to tune him out and concentrate on Jasper. That hadn't been much better. It seemed our "sex talk" had focused his mind as well and he was now thinking of Alice in a way that was very un-sisterly.

Finally I'd tried to tune them both out and focus on the one place I most wanted to be, with Bella. It had worked for the most part until we were almost to the river and Emmett's thoughts had turned from he and Rose to Bella and I. He pictured us in a rather intimate position and then…me losing control. "Emmett!" I snapped at him.

"Sorry Edward. I didn't mean…" He actually looked remorseful, well for Emmett anyway.

I ignored him and jumped across the water. I heard Emmett and Jasper follow. I turned back to them and paused just long enough to say thanks and took off towards Bella's.

The sun was rising now. It was to be another cloud-covered day in forks and my love began to stir in her sleep. I heard Charlie moving about in his room, as he got ready for work. I stayed still as stone as he made his way downstairs and eventually out the door and into his car.

By the time my loves eyes opened, her father had been gone almost an hour. Bella's eyes fell upon me in the rocking chair and she reached out wanting me closer. I moved to her bed and she moved over so I could join her. Lying down, Bella slid into my arms and buried her face in my chest taking a deep breath. "I'm glad your back." She whispered.

"I'm glad to be back." I smiled into her hair.

"Did you have fun with your brothers?"

I stiffened for a second before I relaxed again but she'd caught it. "What?" she asked glancing up at me.

"Nothing."

She wasn't buying it though. Her forehead creased in concern. "Bella relax. We went for a quick hunt. It was no big deal." I paused. She was still waiting. I sighed. "I wanted to ask them advise on some things that's all. Wedding preparation stuff." I was really hoping she wouldn't press me for details. Luckily Alice must have overloaded her yesterday and it appeared she didn't want to talk about anything to do with the wedding this morning so she let it drop tucking her head back into my chest.

We lay there embracing for a long while before I heard her stomach rumble. I placed a kiss in her hair and got up from the bed, reaching out my hand to help her up. Bella just sighed. It was like this every time I went away. For the next twenty-four hours she would dread every second we were physically apart and her pain was my pain.

Taking one last look at me, she grabbed some clothes and headed to the bathroom for a human moment. I looked back at the bed where my love had just been sleeping. I was still nervous about our wedding night and I didn't think anything was going to change that, however talking to my family did give me some insight into what to expect. I just hoped their perspective makes a difference and I can give my love the one thing she has requested.


	5. Chapter 5

Bella came back into her bedroom fully dressed. She came immediately to my side and grabbed my hand before we headed downstairs. I waited and watched while she ate a bowl of cereal. She was putting her bowl in the sink before she spoke. "Can we not go to your house today?"

"Sure."

Bella came and sat on my lap. I folded my arms around her as she rested her head on my shoulder. "Thank you."

When she didn't say anything more, "Was there somewhere specific you wanted to go?"

She shook her head and caused a wave of her scent to drift up to my nose. "No. I just…" Raising her head to look at me. "Could it just be us today?"

"Would you like to go to the meadow? It's not supposed to rain today." I asked, brushing my fingers gently across her cheek.

She sighed and nodded.

"Are you finished?"

"Yes." She said with a smile and got up from my lap.

I waited by the door while Bella retrieved her jacket and we were on our way.

Lying in the meadow, only our hands touching, I continued to think about the information I'd gathered and how I could use it to my advantage. I felt less confident after talking to my brothers than I had after the conversation with Carlisle.

My brother's certainty that I WOULD lose control was nagging at me. Emmett's thoughts on our way back had given me a demonstration of what he'd meant. Although I hadn't wanted to pay attention to him, blocking everything out had been impossible. I felt the rush of excitement he'd felt and the building of energy and then the power of his release. If I hadn't been used to inadvertently hearing the sexual exploits of my family for the last seven decades, the force of it would probably had knocked me down.

So what had I gained? I knew it was going to be very powerful, emotional for me. And I had to imagine, well I hoped, it would be the same for Bella. The difference of course is that if Bella lost control of herself she couldn't harm me even if she tried. I on the other hand could kill her.

What was I going to do? How could I prepare myself for what was to come? What I had promised.

I glanced over at Bella. Her eyes were closed and her breathing even. I could tell she wasn't asleep, just resting. Just then she opened her eyes and caught me staring. "What?" she asked.

I couldn't tell her what I'd been thinking. She knew this was dangerous and I wouldn't burden her with this. "Your beautiful, my love."

Bella moved into my arms and placed a hand on my chest. "Thank you Edward. But that wasn't all you were thinking. Tell me."

This was one of those time when I wished she wasn't so perceptive. What should I tell her? I decided simplicity was best. Not too much information but I would be truthful. "I was thinking…of our wedding night."

"Mmm." She hummed. "What kind of thoughts?"

"Nothing specific just…I…I need to be prepared." And then I clarified not wanting her to think me a pervert. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't." She said with conviction.

"I wish I had your confidence."

"Edward." She said in a stern voice.

I placed a kiss on in her hair. "Sorry, love. I can't help my thoughts."

Pulling herself up she cupped my face in her hands and stared into my eyes. "It will be ok. I wish you wouldn't worry."

"I will try." I tell her, knowing that while I may try not to worry the trying would be pointless. I would worry and nothing would change that.

I brought my lips up to meet hers and she molded her lips to mine leaning into me. My arms held her against my solid body as I allowed my love for her to be communicated through our kiss. Bella's fingers tangled in my hair and held me to her. She was afraid I would pull away. I wasn't going anywhere though. We had the day to ourselves and she didn't have to be home for several more hours. I was in control and I was enjoying this too much to stop.


	6. Chapter 6

Early the next morning after Bella fell into a deep sleep and her talking had ceased, I ran home to change. As I made my way up to my room I heard movement throughout the house and knew my family was home. Their thoughts were in unison. _Edward. _Well at least they all knew I was home.

Selecting new clothes from my closet I began to remove my shirt. I wasn't really in a hurry since I knew Bella would be asleep for at least the next three hours. Maybe I would find Esme before I left.

Just as I slipped my jeans on there was a knock at my door. It was Alice. "Come in Alice."

She bounced into the room, her usual pixie self. "How was the meadow Edward?"

"Fine. Cloudy but dry. Of course you already know that."

She just smiled. "So…are you bringing Bella by today?"

This looked like it was going to be a long conversation. Alice was taking her time. Working up to something. She was blocking her thoughts from me, which was never a good sign. "I don't know yet. Am I?"

She giggled, "Yes you are."

I nodded, "Anything else Alice?"

_Impatient, impatient. _"I saw you talked with Jasper and Emmett yesterday."

I groaned. "You couldn't have blocked that out or something."

"You know as well as I that it doesn't work that way."

I let out a defeated sigh, "And?"

"And," Alice paused. "I know how worried you are and I understand which is why I think you should let Jasper and Emmett help you." Then she paused. "Well maybe not Emmett but that's up to you."

I looked at her skeptically. "Help me how?"

"Well…" she continued, "Jasper could help you…prepare."

"Prepare how Alice?" I was getting frustrated with her obvious stalling. She knew I wasn't going to like this.

"With his gift."

I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to stay calm. "Specifics Alice. How do you think Jasper can help "prepare" me with his gift?"

"He could…let you feel things."

I didn't need anything more. I instantly got what she meant. "No. Absolutely not."

"Why not?" she pouted. "It could help you. Make it easier. Isn't that what you want?"

"Not like that."

"Jasper's willing…"

"You already discussed this with him?!"

"Of course, silly."

"Alice!"

"Don't you even start with me Edward. You know I'm right. If this helps then isn't it worth it?"

I sank down on the bed defeated. "I can't."

"Sure you can." When I didn't answer she concluded. "Just think about it ok?"

I just sat there so she took that as a yes. Seconds later she'd left the room leaving me with something else to think about.

I returned to Bella's room to find her already awake. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said sitting up.

The covers fell about her waist floating gracefully around her curves. She moved over clearly wanting me to join her. Removing my jacket and shoes, I moved to sit with her on the bed. She lay her head on my chest and placed her hand on my silent heart.

I didn't believe her when she told me nothing was wrong. Something had caused her to wake up early. "Tell me what's wrong, Bella. What made you wake? Did you have a nightmare?"

She shook her head no and her hand began a slow circular motion on my chest like she was attempting to provide comfort. I waited for her to say something but she remained silent. I'd long gotten used to not hearing her thoughts but that didn't mean the frustration had disappeared when she wouldn't share what she was thinking with me.

"Bella…"

She sighed, "Edward…"

She seemed to be composing her thoughts so I waited, hoping she would tell me what she was thinking. Bella made me wait for nine minutes. Nine minutes of torture.

"I've been thinking."

I waited.

She pulled away from me a little so she could see my face. "Yesterday you said…you said you were trying to prepare for our wedding night. What did you mean?"

I closed my eyes. Why was she asking me this? I brought my free hand up and pinched the bridge of my nose before opening my eyes again. Bella was watching me, waiting. "Bella I can't tell you that."

"Why?"

I shook my head. "It wouldn't be…proper."

"Proper?" she asked. And then she giggled. Giggled.

"What's funny?"

She was trying to compose herself and not doing a very good job. "Sorry," she apologized. "It's just…" She sighed and became serious again. "Edward we're going to be…married…in less than a month and…don't you think this is something we should be working on together."

"No," I quickly shook my head.

"Edward," she said in that firm tone she always used when she was putting her foot down about something.

I closed my eyes again and took a deep breath focusing on the things that centered me, the burn in my throat, her heartbeat, the heat of her body. "Bella…" I said in a much softer tone, opening my eyes to her pleading. "I just can't."

She changed positions, coming up on her knees and held both of my cold hands in her warms ones. "Edward listen to me. I love you. And I want to help you if I can."

I began to look away and she squeezed my hands. She wanted my focus on her. "I can help Edward. I want to help." Then softer. "Let me help. Please."

I searched her face. Her eyes were pleading. What if she was right? Should I let her help? Bella did have a point, she was going to be my wife. Maybe it would be ok but there would still have to be boundaries and she would need to understand that. "Ok." I whispered.

She smiled and a warm feeling spread through my body. "Thank you," she whispered back.

Bella shifted back so she was once again curled into my chest. "You should go back to sleep, love." She shook her head but I pulled us both down so my head was on the pillow. She snuggled closer. I still had no idea how she could be comfortable against my hard body but I loved the way she felt against me.

Her hand began to make circles on my chest again. I placed a kiss on her hair, letting her fragrance fill me completely. "Tell me how I can help." She whispered so low I almost didn't hear.

I thought about it for a moment. What would help? I thought about what had helped me in the past with Bella. Small steps. Taking things one-step at a time and building my tolerance. I could still remember my fear of just touching her, holding her hand, kissing her. Now I was able to do all of those things. And although they still took concentration on my part, I had become comfortable with what amount of pressure was expectable and what was not.

I didn't fear touching her in those ways anymore. What I now feared was…touching her in new ways. Ways that I had never touched another person, human or vampire, before. The concept should be the same though. Practice…should help.

My pause had only been a few seconds but Bella seemed to notice the hesitation. She'd gotten used to my quick thought processes. "I guess…" I swallowed. I couldn't believe I was saying this. "we could…practice."

Bella wanted clarification. "What do you mean…practice."

I sighed. "When we first met I was afraid to touch you for fear of hurting you."

She gave me a comforting squeeze. It always amazed and warmed me when Bella tried to comfort me. "I know."

"Well…we took things slow and went one step at a time and things got easier for me."

I felt her smile. "I know." She placed a soft kiss on my chest. "I'm glad."

Running my hand over her hair down to her shoulder, "I'm thinking maybe we could use the same concept."

Her hand stopped its motion. She was thinking. "So you want to build your tolerance for me?"

I laughed. "In a way, yes." I needed to clarify though. "There would still be boundaries Bella. There are still lines we can not cross but maybe if we…pushed my limits a bit…"

She nodded. "I agree. So where do we start?"

"Not tonight." I said firmly but softly. "The sun won't be up for another two hours. We'll figure it out tomorrow. Now sleep, love." I began humming her lullaby. She didn't fight it and within a few minutes she was asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Bella didn't wake up until after nine the next morning so I had plenty of time to think over my conversation with Alice. I was not convinced I needed Jasper's help. Bella and I had overcome so much in our relationship and I had to believe we could do it again.

Of course that brought me back to my conversation with Bella. How exactly were we going to go about practicing? I had been truthful with her last night. There would have to be boundaries. There were thinks we would not do before our wedding night. Just thinking about it sent panic through my body. I needed a plan.

The hours of quiet between the time Charlie left and when my loves eyes fluttered open, I spent planning. We had three and a half weeks to get ready. I decided the first step would include prolonging our intimate contact. I tend to pull away whenever my human emotions for her begin to overwhelm me, fearing I would lose my focus and use too much of my strength. I would have to work on that. So no pulling back right away.

The second thing I decided in those hours was that I needed to do some more research. While it was true I knew the technicalities of having sex, I was sure there were other things I did not know. Practical things, like foreplay. I wanted more than anything to make this pleasurable for Bella and I knew women typically required foreplay. Again I knew what it was, but some specific ideas would be good. The more of a plan I had going in, the less likely I would hurt her. At least that's what I had to keep telling myself.

I heard Bella's breathing change moments before her eyes flitted open. She was still lying against my chest. She looked up at me with those eyes that allowed me to look into her soul. The soul I was scared of taking away from her. "Good mornin," she said, the side of her mouth pulling up in a smile.

Her good mood made me smile back. "Good morning, love. Did you sleep well?"

She stretched sending a wave of her scent up to my nose. I breathed deep, allowing the life of it to become a part of me. "Mmm." She placed her hands on my chest and rested her chin against them looking at me. "Did you have a good night?"

She bit her lower lip like she always did when she was nervous. What could she be nervous about? "Yes."

"Good." She shifted again and rested her ear where my heart used to be. "I thought maybe…" She sighed.

"What, love?"

She moved up so she could look at my face. Obviously wanting to make sure I wasn't going to lie to her about whatever it was she was going to ask. "Did you think more about what we talked about? About practicing?"

I wasn't going to lie to her. She didn't need to worry about that. Not about this. "Yes I did."

She pulled back just a bit. "And?"

"And what, love?"

She shook her head and her face held a hint of a laugh but she made no sound. "And HOW are we going to practice? Did you figure out where we should start?"

Ah, so this is where she was going with this. I should have known. My Bella has a one track mind sometimes. "Well I thought we would start with kissing."

"Kissing?" she asked, skeptical.

I couldn't help but grin at the look on her face. "Yes, kissing."

"We already kiss, Edward."

"Yes. I know that, love but…." I sighed. This was going to be a bit difficult to explain to her. How do I explain why I pull away and how I was going to force myself not to and possibly put her in danger? That was the problem though. She needed to understand what was going on, what I was doing or going to try to do. "I pull away when things become…too much."

"Yes, I know." She frowned.

"Well…I will be very close to you on our wedding night so I'm thinking I shouldn't pull away as soon." Her eyes began to light now. I hated to douse her excitement but I needed to. "That doesn't mean the rules change Bella. You still can't be anywhere near my teeth."

There was only a brief sign of disappointment on her face. If I were human I probably wouldn't have caught it. "I know," she quickly assured me. "That's OK. Longer kissing will be nice though."

I laughed out loud this time. Her human hormones were very predicable. She was biting her lower lip again, appearing to be deep in thought. I smirked. "Shall we begin now?" I asked suggestively and leaned up to press my lips against hers.

She returned my kiss but kept her lips ridged, pulling back before I could deepen the kiss. Sitting up, Bella tossed back the blanket and stood. "I need a human minute," she said, before grabbing her bag and heading to the bathroom.

I knew what she was going to do. She wanted to brush her teeth. Although I had told her time and time again she didn't need to do that for me, Bella was very self-conscious about it.

Less than ten minutes later, Bella came through the door. I hadn't moved which caused a smile to cross my love's face. She'd brushed her hair as well and I could smell the mint from her toothpaste and the faint scent of soap. Coming over to lay with me on the bed, Bella positioned herself so her face was just inches from mine. "You were saying?"

I couldn't help but laugh. She was so eager to push my limits. "Bella..." The hesitation was clear in my voice.

She sighed and a defeated expression crossed her face. Did she think I'd changed my mind? I raised my hand to cup her jaw. "Bella, love?" I waited until she was looking in my eyes again. "Love, if things become too much for you… if I start to hurt you…"

"You won't hurt me, Edward." She said with conviction.

She had too much faith in me. I nodded and then brought our lips together again. She brought her arms up around my neck and tangled her fingers in my hair like always. Her scent surrounded me and the burn in my throat increased and flamed down to my stomach to meld with the much different fire in my belly.

I loved to feel her tugging at my hair. Every motion sent shockwaves through my body. Her warmth pressing against me made me feel warm, whole. She was the other half of me and I needed her more than I needed anything else in my existence.

I wanted her close to me, as close as I could get her. I snaked my arms around her waist and pressed her to my cold body. She moaned and the heat in my belly increased. My instinct was to hold her closer. My mind was telling me to pull back. This was the constant war going on inside me whenever we were close.

I ignored both of them. I kept the pressure on her body the same and didn't pull away. Our lips were molded together and I could tell she would need a breath soon. I lifted her to lie on top of me and let my lips trail down her jaw to just below her ear. I heard her take in a quick breath followed by another.

It gave me such great pleasure to know I could do this to her. My nose grazed her neck and lingered at her pulse point. Breathing deeply, I let the burn consume me; her life, her blood, her scent. I opened my lips just enough to flick my tongue against the vein pumping beneath my mouth. Her fingers gripped my hair tighter, her heart picked up speed, and her breathing accelerated. I needed to feel her lips again.

Bring my head back up, I found those soft pillows I knew I would dream about if only I could. My hard lips pressed against her soft ones. I let her set the pressure to make sure it wasn't too much for her. She was pressing her body roughly against mine and I began to smell a different scent from Bella. One I'd caught a few times. One that drove me even more insane than her blood did.

Every instinct I'd instilled in myself over the past two years was telling me to pull away; to pull away now before my want to crush her against me took over. I forced myself to stay. My hands curled into themselves, clenching. My lips increased their pressure. Bella responded by releasing a soft moan in my mouth.

The breath I didn't need was coming fast now. I could feel and smell every inch of my Bella. I forced my hands, one at a time, to unclench and pressed them as lightly as I could against her back.

She moved only slightly against me but it was enough. Wanting her closer, my arms tightened their hold. I couldn't get her close enough. Bella moved again, trying to get closer. I removed my hands from her body and pressed down on the mattress. Of course Bella noticed. She pulled back and searched my eyes.

"Are you…OK?" she asked concerned, the blood rushing to her face from our kisses.

"Yes."

She watched me for a minute and then placed a soft kiss on my lips. Oh how I loved this girl. Bella rose from the bed and grabbed some clothes from the closet.

"I'll meet you downstairs," I said, giving her some privacy to change.

Once downstairs, I sat at the table and waited for Bella. I was proud of myself. I'd been able to push myself farther than I'd ever gone before and not hurt her. It was still far from where I needed to be but it was a start.

I heard Bella open her bedroom door and make her way down the stairs. She stumbled once before reaching the bottom. It was summer but still cool by human standards. Bella wore a long sleeve beige t-shirt and jeans, her hair pulled back in ponytail. She was so beautiful and I resisted the urge to pull her into my arms again and kiss her. Bella needed to eat. I could hear her stomach rumbling so I forced myself to stay where I was.

Bella finished off a bowl of cereal while I watched. I remember my watching used to bother her at first. Now she was so used to it. Standing, she rinsed her bowl and put it into the sink. She turned and walked over to me, then sat on my lap throwing her arms around my neck. Her heat and scent enveloped me again.

"Are we going to your house today?"

The look she gave me said she was not thrilled with that idea. "Yes, love. I think Alice needs to speak to you about some things." She grimaced. "We can do something else if you prefer," I offered.

Bella sighed. "No. That's ok. She'll find me eventually. I might as well get it over with." Letting her arms fall from my neck, she rose and reached for my hand. My fingers wrapped around hers and I brought them to my lips before I entwined our fingers and we headed out.


	8. Chapter 8

Alice was waiting for us when we pulled up to the house. Bella let me drive. She wasn't thrilled with her new car although she had not complained out loud to me since she'd agreed to it in advance. I loved her new car even though it was only temporary. Knowing she was driving the Guardian gave me peace of mind.

My sister bound down the steps and was opening Bella's door before I had even exited the car. I gave my sister a look that clearly showed my distaste for her impatience. She ignored me. "Hi Bella," She said, opening the car door.

"Hi, Alice." Bella said with a little less enthusiasm.

"Are you ready? I have so many things to show you and I want you to look at the final invitations. I need to send them out tomorrow so everyone will get them in time."

"Of course." Bella mumbled. As Alice began to drag her away she glanced back at me with a look of defeat. I followed them inside and watched my sister disappear with my fiancé up the stairs.

I was about to walk up to my room when I heard Esme call my name in her thoughts. She was in out back. Quickly changing direction, I made my way to the back patio.

She heard me walk through the door and raised her head. Esme was gardening. It was something she had enjoyed as a human and still did. "Sit with me." It was a request not a demand.

Locating one of the patio chairs, we rarely ever used, I took a seat a few feet away from her. With hands covered in soil, she brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "Alice says there will be sun tomorrow. Just what these beauties need." She smiled.

I didn't comment. My mother didn't ask me to come and talk to her about flowers. When I remained silent she placed her hands in her lap and look up at me. _Are you OK, Edward?_

"I'm fine," I answered, a little unsure what and why she was asking. And then I saw it in her thoughts and groaned. "Esme really I'm fine, we're fine." She looked at me skeptically.

_You're worried, honey. I understand. _

I shook my head. I should have known Bella and my plans would become common knowledge. I'd told Bella once we had no secrets and I had not been exaggerating. "Mom…"

_Can I help?_

"No!" I shouted. I took a deep breath to calm myself. "Sorry."

She reached out and placed a hand on my knee. "It's OK, Edward. I know talking to your mother probably isn't what you want right now, but I'm here if you need me."

I know she meant well. Esme always had my best interests at heart. "Thanks," I said getting up to go back into the house.

_Have you decided where your taking her?_

This stopped me. I'd thought about our honeymoon of course. It was almost all I could think about since Bella and I had made our arrangement. I'd considered several places but given I did not know how long we would be there each had problems. "No."

_How about the island?_

The Island? Her island? "Isle Esme?"

She nodded. _Yes Edward. I was thinking it would be perfect, but it's up to you. It's yours if you want to use it._

Isle Esme. It was warm, which was good for Bella. It was also quite isolated but easily accessible to the mainland which provided adequate hunting should I need it. I stood silent for several minutes weighing the possibilities. I couldn't find a negative to Esme's offer. "Thank you, Esme."

"You're welcome." She smiled, understanding I had accepted her offer.

I gave her an answering smile and turned to go.

"Oh and Edward…" I paused. _They all know. Even Rosalie. _

I sighed and made my way to my room. As I said, no secrets.

Closing my door, I walked over to my stereo and put on a CD before lying on my bed. The music was soft and sensual. It brought back memories of this morning. I closed my eyes and let my mind wonder, remembering the sights and sounds of my love.

Even my perfect memory doesn't do her justice, but it's all I have right now. I remember the smell of her and the fire in my throat roars to life. Her lips pressing against mine, her body. My breath comes faster and I can smell her in Alice's room, can hear her heart beat. I will myself to stay on the bed. My fingers tingle with the want to touch her. Then I remember the smell of her. Not of her blood, but her womanly scent. It's overwhelming. My hands ball into fists and I force them open.

I need to get control of this. My memory of her scent is with all her clothes. It would be much worse with no barrier between us. The palms of my hands, while lying flat now, were pressed into the mattress. That wouldn't do.

Releasing my minds hold on the memory for a second, I forced my body to relax and started again. This time I last a bit longer but the end result is the same. I do this ten times and only gain about a minute each time.

I was just getting ready to start again when there was a knock on my door. Coming out of my mental focus I knew it was Emmett. I looked down at my lap and already knew what I'd find. I'd been thinking about my Bella in very intimate ways. Of course I was aroused.

I took several deep breaths and forced my muscles to relax again before getting up off the bed. "Come in."

Emmett walked in with a smirk on his face. "Busy little brother?"

"No," I said, moving to my stereo to lower it. "Just listening to some music."

"Yea sure you were." He laughed, clearly not buying my explanation.

I just sighed. Emmett would believe anything he wanted to believe so it was no use trying to sway him. "What can I do for you?"

Seeming to remember he'd actually come for a reason, "Oh yeah. Two things. First, the hunting trip. Jasper and I were thinking this weekend." My face must have hinted at a negative response because he jumped in again before I had a chance to respond. "Come on Edward. You promised. A long weekend. Bella can survive without you for three days," he said almost pleading.

As much as I wanted to say no, I hadn't been away for more than twenty-four hours in months. The monster inside me was thrilled with the idea of stalking a worthy predator again. Emmett seemed to think I needed some more convincing. "Jasper even found a spot known for its mountain lion population."

As much as the thought of leaving Bella for any length of time was distasteful to me, I knew I needed to say yes. I nodded and Emmett pumped his fist in the air in excitement, which made me smile. "Alright!"

He seemed caught up in his excitement for a minute before coming to a sudden halt and then giving me a wicked smile. I knew I wasn't going to like number two. He held up one finger and ran out of the room. Emmett was back in less than a second with two books in his hand, holding them so I couldn't see.

"Rose and I got you a present." He smirked. "Kind of a early wedding gift." I was right. I wasn't going to like this. He handed the books to me. "I'm still more than willing to give you some pointers little brother but…well I thought maybe you'd prefer this."

I looked down and in my hands I now held _Sex for Dummies _and _The Kama Sutra_. I groaned. "They're really very good Edward. Rose and I were flipping through them and we even found a few new things to try out."

His mind started to wonder over those specific things. "Emmett!"

"Sorry," he said, looking anything but.

I was about to hand them back to him when I heard the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs, footsteps that belonged to Bella. Knowing what I had in my hands made me react quickly. I ran to my desk and quickly shoved the books into the drawer. I was already back to where I'd started by the time Bella knocked on my door. Emmett could hardly contain his laughter.

"Hi," Bella said as she opened the door and saw both Emmett and I standing there. "Can I come in?" she asked a little shyly obviously knowing she'd interrupted something.

Before I could say anything though, Emmett spoke up. "I was just leaving anyway." _Have fun with your gifts._

I wanted to growl but I controlled myself for Bella.


	9. Chapter 9

Emmett was whistling as he made his way down the stairs from my room. Bella raised her eyebrow in question but I just shrugged. I was not going to tell her why Emmett was so pleased with himself.

Trying to turn her attention away from my brother, "Did Alice finish showing you the invitations?"

She sighed and walked towards me. "Yes." Wrapping her arms around my waist, she rested her head against my chest. I brought my arms up and held her close. "The invitations are pretty."

"So does that mean you're free?"

I felt her smile. "I think so."

We stood holding each other for several minutes until I felt her shift her body weight. Clearly our position was becoming uncomfortable for her. I was going to suggest we lay down on the bed when she took a step back. Her lovely brown eyes held a hint of sadness in them. My mind raced to find a reason for her change in mood. She had just been smiling not a minute ago. What was she thinking?

Bella didn't make me wait long. "I should probably go. I need to stop and pick up some things for dinner." Only our hands were touching now and I moved my thumbs to caress the top of her palms, she sighed. "Charlie will be home in a few hours and I don't have anything laid out."

I glanced out the window. It was a typical overcast day in Forks and I was not ready to part with Bella. She'd been with Alice most of the day and I needed to be close to her. I didn't even want to think about leaving to go hunting tomorrow with my brothers. I would need to tell her about that soon, but not yet. It would upset her and I didn't want that, not when we'd already been apart too much today. "May I join you?"

Her mouth turned up into a smile. "You want to come shopping with me?"

"Yes." I smiled back.

"You don't have to do that, Edward."

The words came out solemnly, but I could see the light in her eyes. She didn't want to be apart anymore than I did. I didn't wait for her to doubt my willingness to spend the rest of the day at her side. "Would you like to take your car or mine?"

She bit her bottom lip and I had to control the impulse to kiss her. "Can you follow me home and then we can take your car?"

I chuckled. She hated driving her car where anyone could see her. "Sure."

Keeping one of my hands firmly locked in hers, she turned to the door.

We dropped Bella's car off in front of her house and headed to the other side of town and Forks only grocery store. I'd only been to the store a few times myself and all of them had been with Bella. Esme made a weekly appearance here to stock our home with food to keep up the human appearance needed. The rest of our family tended to steer clear of the human food as much as possible. It was bad enough having to sit with it in front of us every day in the cafeteria at school. Of course that had been before Bella.

Now with our wedding only three weeks away and knowing we would be spending it by ourselves on a deserted island, I knew I would need to do some research on human food consumption. Bella would need food on the island and as her loving husband I would make sure her needs were provided for. The opportunity to accompany her to the grocery store gave me not only with the opportunity to spend more time at my loves side, but also to pay more attention to the items she was purchasing. This would give me a better knowledge of what to have stocked in the kitchen.

I parked the car in a spot as close to the door as possible. The skies had opened up and there was now a light drizzle falling from the sky. I opened my door and made my way around the Volvo to open the door for Bella. She pulled the hood of her rain jacket up over her head and stepped out of the car. Bella stepped to the side and allowed me to shut the door. That was when I heard it. 

_I can't believe it._

I pressed my hand lightly along Bella's back as we headed into the store.

_She isn't showing but who can tell under those baggy clothes. _

I wanted to growl but held myself in check hurrying my love into the store. If I thought it would be better in here I was wrong. 

_There they are!_

_Oh that poor girl. She had such, such promise._

_I wonder if Chief Swan is going have his shotgun ready. You can never tell about these boys now a days, if they'll do the honorable thing._

_He seemed like such a nice boy, a little strange but nice. Too bad they had to make a mistake like that. _

_I'll give it a year. Maybe not even that. _

The thoughts of these people were surrounding me and we hadn't even made it to the produce section. Bella noticed my stiff posture. "Are you ok?"

I tried to smile for her and forced myself to relax a bit. It was hard though. The thoughts weren't letting up. They ranged from feeling sorry for Bella and I to trying to guess her due date. It was very frustrating to know Bella had been right about people's reactions. Everyone thought I'd gotten her pregnant. Why was it so outside the realm of possibility for these people to believe I was marrying her because I loved her. "Yes, I'm fine."

She shook her head. "I warned you."

Bella's perception was once again at its finest. "You did. I am sorry I doubted you." She looked up with a bit of triumph in her eyes. "It doesn't change anything though," I quickly reminded her.

She snorted. It was so adorable. Bella stopped to pick up some lettuce and I took the opportunity to place a soft kiss on her hair. "I love you," I whispered for her ears only. My love smiled and placed her item into her cart.

We continued through the store and I followed behind Bella trying to concentrate on her purchases and block out the thoughts of all of those around us. As we were coming up to the check out, I both saw and heard Angela Webber.

_There's Bella and Edward. Oh aren't they so cute together. They look happy._

"Hi Bella," Angela said with a warm smile.

"Hi Angela," Bella greeted her. I just smiled.

"How are things coming with the wedding?"

Amazingly Bella didn't seem to tense at the mention of the wedding. "Alice almost has everything together, I think."

"Well if you need anything, just ask, OK?"

"Thanks. I'll let Alice know."

_She has a cart full of groceries. I'd better let them go. _"Well my mom's waiting in the car so I should go." She moved toward the door. "Congratulations by the way."

Bella smiled at her friend and the glanced up at me. I had a stupid grin on my face and I knew it. "One person," she said.

I laughed. "Yes, my love, but at least one still believes in love."

Bella just smirked and shook her head at me before pushing her now full cart into the check out line.

I carried the bags into the house for Bella. She let me do this without argument since I was able to carry everything in one trip and it was raining. I watched as she put each item away and started dinner for Charlie.

Bella was making some sort of fish dish tonight. Charlie loved fish. I thought it was one of the worst smelling human foods. My love brushed her hair over her shoulder and bent to put the foul smelling fish into the oven. Her jeans hugged her curves and that warmth in my belly kindled.

Her father wasn't close enough for me to hear his thoughts so we should have a few moments at least. Getting up from my chair I made my way to stand behind her. I knew the moment she felt my presence. She took a deep breath and the muscles in her back tensed in anticipation.

I was standing directly behind her now but not touching. I wanted to see what she would do since I usually didn't bother her while she was cooking. Her fragile hand held the lettuce for the salad she was about to make. Fingers releasing their hold on the vegetable, she turned her body so she was facing me.

She looked up and I brought my hands to rest on her hips, pulling her towards me. The heat of her body hit me as it always did and a slow burn began at the back of my throat. Bella brought her arms up around my neck and I lifted her onto the counter pushing the lettuce out of the way.

Her legs wrapped around my waist and my mouth sought hers. It was blissful torture. My loves lips on mine, her body flush against me. Her fingers tugged at my hair trying to pull me closer. I wanted to be closer. I needed to be closer.

I had never touched Bella in any intimate place before and debated for a second before doing it now, but I wanted her closer and this was the only way. Moving my hands down her back, I positioned them on her soft flesh sitting just above the counter top and moved her to the edge. She sucked in a breath and I almost moved my hands thinking she didn't want me to touch her there but my love surprised me as she always does and pulled at my hair tighter, pressing her lips harder against mine.

Bella's body was moving now. Nothing big, just a small rocking motion but it was making it hard for me to concentrate. The burn in my throat was still under control but that wasn't what I was worried about. With every forward rock Bella made, I got a whiff of her scent. And it was getting stronger.

My hands moved up her back again pulling her closer still. I felt the softness of her breasts against me and nearly lost all control. Glad I didn't need to breath, I began to be a little concerned about Bella. If I was human I knew I'd be hyperventilating by now. Although she was breathing hard as well, she wasn't pulling back. She was holding tighter, almost commanding me to stay. And I wanted to stay.

We kissed with each minute becoming more urgent, her scent becoming stronger with each passing second. I could feel the energy racing through me and I began to clench my hands as they rested on her back.

"Bella?"

Charlie. I jumped back as slowly as I could, trying to contain my vampire speed. I hadn't heard him or his thoughts. I'd been too wrapped up in Bella.

I looked over at Bella. She'd hopped off the counter as soon as I'd released her and now had her back to the door in anticipation of Charlie. She was trying to get her breathing under control before her father walked through the door.

I heard him put his gun belt on the hook. _Where is she? Her car is here. So is his. They'd better not be up in her room. _"Bella…" He started again a little louder but stopped when he saw her at the counter. Charlie looked at his daughter and then at me knowing he'd walked in on something, just not sure what.

Charlie had accepted our engagement. He hadn't been given much of a choice of course. But he still didn't care much for me. There was no doubt in his mind Bella loved me. He just thought she could do better. I agreed with him of course but I wasn't giving her up.

Finally Bella looked up and met her father's gaze. "Dinner's about done. I just need to finish the salad." Her breathing wasn't quite back to normal yet but it was close enough I didn't think Charlie would notice.

"OK, Bells," Charlie's eyes lingered on me, questions running through both his eyes and his mind. _What exactly were you doing with my daughter?_ "I'll just go check the scores then before dinner."

Bella just nodded and went back to the tomato she just started cutting. I moved closer so I could speak to her without Charlie overhearing. "I'm sorry."

She stopped and looked up at me. "Why?"

Why was I sorry? Of course she would ask me that. "I should have heard Charlie. I wasn't paying attention."

She laughed and the warmth in my belly flared to life once again. "Neither was I."

"Yes but…"

She brought her juice-covered finger up to my mouth. Realizing what she'd done, she quickly removed it and reached for the towel. First drying her fingers and then reaching up to remove the tomato juice from my lips. "No buts," she smiled at me. "I like it when you get caught up in the moment." Turning back to her work, she said, "It doesn't happen often enough in my opinion."

"But your father." I couldn't believe she was taking this so casually. Her father had almost walked in on us making out.

She sighed and stopped for a moment before continuing. Bella was frustrated with me. I wanted to touch her but given that her father was in the other room and could walk in at any moment I forced myself to remain where I was. "We're getting married Edward. He's going to see us kiss at the wedding you know."

"That will be different."

She just smiled and shook her head as she finished prepping the salad. I knew she still didn't agree with me although I couldn't imagine that she would have wanted her father to walk in on what we were doing.

As Bella placed the food on the table, she called for her dad and I excused myself to the living room. I heard them talking but wanting to give them some privacy I focused on what had happened in the kitchen. It had been better this time. I knew it would be. Maybe we would be ok.


	10. Chapter 10

At ten I said goodnight to Bella promising to return after Charlie was asleep. Some nights I would go directly to her room and wait for her, but I had some things I wanted to do. One of those was confirm with my brothers when we would be leaving on our hunting trip.

The other. I finally had to admit that Emmett's present could prove to be more helpful than I'd originally admitted to myself. I needed to do some research and from the titles of the books, they might prove worthy.

Pulling my Volvo into the garage, I heard Rose under the Jeep before I saw her.

_Idiot. Your going to kill her you know. Then we'll have to leave even sooner. _She paused in her thoughts only briefly. _Idiot! Moron! Stupid!_ She continued to hurl insults at me until I disappeared into the house.

Finding my brother's turned out to be easier than I'd planned. The two were in the back yard wrestling. They looked up when they saw me.

Both smiled. "You up for a round, man?" Emmett said, lowering himself back into a hunting crouch. He must have seen a no coming because he didn't give me time to respond. Instead he leaped at me. If I hadn't had the warning from his thoughts, I would have found myself on the ground.

He turned to face me and pounced again. And again I evaded. "Come on man."

Throughout the exchange with Emmett, Jasper stood watching. He didn't speak out loud but his thoughts were quite clear. _Never has any fun anymore. Always so tense. _

He was right of course. I spent most of my time with Bella. That meant I had to be in control at all times. I rarely ever engaged in play anymore with my brothers. Hunting. I felt my muscles flex just thinking about it. Deer were so weak and did not put up the fight my body desired. Emmett and Jasper were right. I needed this.

As I moved once again out of Emmett's path, I turned to face him and slipped into a crouch of my own. I leapt a sixty-fourth of a second before Emmett saw me. It was enough and we both went crashing into a tree on the other side of the yard.

We both rolled over laughing. Emmett didn't give me much time to recover though. I heard his thoughts before he reacted and managed to move out of the way of his aim again. We continued like this for several minutes with Jasper joining in on the fun and even managed to rattle a few more trees. It felt good to let my muscles stretch like this.

All too soon I heard Alice moving upstairs and it reminded me of Bella. The instant I realized she hadn't been in the front of my mind for the last twenty minutes, I felt guilty. My brothers noticed the change in my mood.

Emmett gave a little pout. I ignored him. "When are we leaving?"

It was Jasper that answered. "Carlisle is coming too so we were thinking of leaving after his shift." It was summer, and as a precaution Carlisle was working mostly nights. His shift would be over around eight in the morning, which meant I wouldn't be able to spend Friday with Bella at all.

I sighed, resigned. I had to keep reminding myself this would be the last time I had to be away from Bella this long. I nodded and headed up to my room.

As I made my way up the stairs, I heard Alice humming to herself in her room. The door was closed as I passed. I'd made it half way up the stairs before her the door opened. I turned to see her bouncing toward me with a white square in her hand. She came to a stop two feet in front of me and handed me what I now saw to be an envelope. "What is this?"

"An invitation, silly."

I raised my eyebrow in question. Alice giggled. "To your wedding."

I was still confused and her thoughts weren't helping to explain. She was seeing me sitting at my desk writing a letter of some sort. "Why would I need an invitation to my own wedding, Alice?"

She sighed like I was missing something obvious. "It's not for you." Seeing I still did not understand, "I saw there was someone you might want to send an invitation to. Someone who's not on the guest list Bella approved."

The only person I had thought about sending an invitation to was Jacob Black. I recalled her vision again, me sitting at my desk writing. I tried to see what was in the letter I was composing but she wasn't allowing me to see that part obviously. I was staring at the envelope I now held in my hands and looked up to find my sister retreating back into her room.

_It's up to you Edward. Good Luck. _

Thanks. Just what I needed something else to occupy my thoughts. I turned and finished the climb to my room. Tossing the invitation onto my desk, I opened the drawer and pulled out the books Emmett gave me earlier.

Walking over to my bed I set them in front of me. I didn't want to look at them but I knew I must. If this helped us then it was worth it, right? Forcing myself to open the first book I took a deep breath to steady myself and then focused on the picture in front of me.

Ok. Not as bad as I'd been expecting. It was a full page drawing of an atomically correct male and female. After being through medical school twice this was nothing new to me. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

I read through the first few pages where it talked about the differences of the male and female anatomy. Again, all things I knew. As I flipped the page to the second chapter I sucked in a deep breath. Staring back at me in bold black and white letters was the word Masturbation. It took everything I had not to close the book.

I didn't want to read about this. I knew what it was of course. I'd even had the unpleasant experience more than once of walking past the bathroom at school and overhearing, both in thoughts and sound. The fundamentals of male and female stimulation were not unknown to me. Could reading about them in a book give me any more insight into practical application?

I closed my eyes and sighed before turning my focus back to the pages in front of me. They started with male manual stimulation. I quickly skimmed over that. It wasn't me I was worried about. Just being near Bella made me happier than I ever had a right to be. Our wedding night was for her.

I was a little surprised it took six pages and several photographs to arrive at the female part of the chapter. It started with a review of the female sexual organs and what areas enjoyed stimulation. Flipping the page I swallowed as I came to the first photograph. The woman was completely naked, with her legs spread. I wanted to close my eyes but I forced them to stay open. I'd looked at pictures medically before and I could do that now. I forced myself to concentrate on the words and tried to avoid the pictures.

As I continued to read, I was surprised to find how many women required clitoral stimulation rather than just penetration. This was not a topic we discussed in great detail during my time in medial school. My mind floated to Bella. Has my love ever…? I shook my head. I couldn't ask her that.

According to the book all women enjoyed stimulation of that area so somehow I was going to have to manage it. I was hoping I would get more practical information I could use as the book continued.

I looked out my window and realized it was close to midnight. Charlie would be asleep and Bella would be expecting me. I tucked the books back into the drawer and my eyes fell to the white paper lying on my desk. Jacob. Figuring a few more minutes wouldn't matter I quickly sat down and wrote. I understood Bella's reasoning for not sending the invitation but it had been bothering me. If it were me, I'd want the choice and it was only fair to give Jacob the same consideration.

Sealing the envelope, I made my way downstairs grabbing a stamp on my way out. Running through the woods, I took a quick detour to the post office before making my way to Bella's.

My love was already asleep by the time I came through her window. I didn't want to disturb her so I took a seat in her rocking chair and settled in to watch her sleep. Her hair was still damp from her shower as it lay on her pillow. I could smell the scent of her shampoo as a light breeze carried it to where I sat. Her heart beat in a steady rhythm as she slept and I let the sound sooth me.

Around two in the morning she began to stir. Her hair was now dry but the breeze and her movement still brought her scent to me. She began to talk. I loved to hear her talk in her sleep. "Edward…" I felt a constriction in my chest every time she said my name.

Her heart rate began to pick up and her breathing quickened. I moved beside her wanting to be where she could see me if she woke. "Mmm." She arched her back and her hand brushed her face. "Edward, please," she said on a breath. Her heart rate continued to race and I was beginning to get concerned. What was she dreaming about?

Then she reached out blindly and placed her hand on my chest. "Mmm," she mumbled again. I stayed perfectly still. She rolled to her side facing me and began to run her hands up and down my chest. The warmth of her hands on my cold body reacted as it always did fanning the flames in my stomach.

She said my name again and inched closer letting one of her hands move down my chest to my stomach. I sucked in my breath. Her scent wafted up with her movement as I finally realized what was happening. Bella was dreaming about being with me. Us. I closed my eyes and reached to stop her hand. She didn't fight me but what sounded like a frustrated sigh escaped her lips. I felt a tight tug in my chest in response.

I stayed where I was beside her bed until she was sleeping soundly again before moving back to my chair. Luckily the rest of the night my love rested peacefully. Bella didn't know she'd given me something else to think about but she had. She obviously wanted to touch me but would I be able to allow that? The frustration I felt flowed throughout my entire body. Why did I have to be a monster?


	11. Chapter 11

**This chapter is the morning after Bella's little dream. Thank you to all those who reviewed. I love hearing from you.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

At five o'clock Charlie decided to look in on Bella before heading off to work so I had to hide in the closet. The brief period of time I was hidden made me remember another time I'd used Bella's closet to keep my presence from her father. It was the morning my love woke after Italy. Charlie had yelled at her and she had threatened to move out. She'd chosen me. The monster. And although the thought of that choice was leading her to her death, I was still insanely happy. That only proved how much of a monster I really was.

Usually I headed back to my house to change in the early morning hours but today I would be here when she woke up. I needed to tell her I was leaving. She would be distraught and I wanted to find an excuse to not go. The pain I felt at her sadness I would carry with me the entire weekend.

Just before seven my love's eyes began to flutter as she came awake. Her eyes settled on me and she smiled. "Good morning."

I smiled back, the warmth in my chest growing. "Good morning, love."

I stood and she moved over waiting for me to lay beside her. "How was your night?" she asked as she curled up to me, her softness resting against my hard body.

Side stepping her question, "I'm sorry I didn't make it back before you fell asleep."

She snuggled closer, "That's OK. I was pretty tired. Alice wears me out." She shifted up to look at me. "Why didn't you join me?"

"I didn't want to disturb you." I ran my hand through her hair letting her scent travel up to me.

"I sleep better when you're close," she said with a pout.

I kissed her forehead. "I wasn't far."

Her brows furrowed together and she pursed her lips. "Were you here for the talking?"

My hand stopped for a moment before resuming its caress. Did she remember her dream? "Yes."

She sat up. "What did I say?"

I didn't answer right away.

Bringing her hands up to cover her face, "It was bad wasn't it? It was horrible that's why you won't tell me."

I sat up beside her and gently removed her hands from her face. "Bella, love." Placing my finger under her chin so she'd look at me with those chocolate eyes I get lost in, "It was not horrible. You just…," I sighed, "you said my name a few times and…and hummed."

Her eyebrow rose. "I hummed? How exactly did I hum?" She said, not believing.

Trying to play down the events of the evening, "Something like, 'Mmm."

"Mmm? That's it? Mmm?"

"Yes. I do believe it was something close to mmm."

She wasn't buying it. "Edward you have perfect memory so do not tell me it was something close to mmm." I opened my mouth to make a more definitive statement but she stopped me. "Now tell me exactly what a said," she paused, "or did." I was quiet for too long. "Edward."

I sighed. I should know better than to try and keep things from Bella. When it's something she wants to know, she's very persistent. "You appeared to be dreaming about us…intimately."

"Intimately? You mean…sex? You're saying I had a sex dream?" Her face flushed and the heat sent a flash burn to my throat while at the same time making me want to press my lips to her skin. "What did I do?" she whispered.

I brushed her hair away from her face and pulled her against my chest. "You reached out for me, that's all."

"What do you mean?"

I looked down not able to meet her eyes for a moment. Stealing myself, I focused on her face again. "When you called for me I moved beside the bed to be close to you. I was watching your face as you were talking, as I always do, but this time you reached out to me and…" When I stopped she raised her eyebrows wanting me to continue. "You rubbed your hand on my chest."

"Oh," she said. "That's it?" She was watching me closely. "What else?" she said stubbornly.

I shook my head. "It was nothing Bella. It's just your hand…well it…it started to move…," I swallowed, "lower."

Bella stiffened and a flush moved over her features once again. The desire to move closer and partake of that warmth was hard to resist but I did. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

This got my attention. "Why would you be sorry, love?"

She reached out and touched my face, gently rubbing my cold cheek. "You were uncomfortable. I didn't mean…"

I would not let her finish. "Bella you have nothing to apologize for. As you have reminded me many times, we will be married in a few weeks. It is natural for you to want to touch me as much as I want to do the same to you."

A small smile tugged at her lips. "So you're OK with me…touching you?"

And this brought me to what I'd been occupied with during the night. Bella's desire to touch me, and my letting her. It wasn't something I knew if I could handle. I'd debated the issue in my mind and until now I hadn't come up with an answer. Looking at Bella in the morning light I knew, like with everything else in our relationship, I needed to be honest.

I cupped her face in my hands and pulled it close to mine until I could feel her breath on my face. "Nothing gives me more pleasure than your touch, Bella." I paused to let those words sink in before I continued. "As to if I will be able to remain in control? I don't know. Right now just the thought of me touching you stirs such strong feelings in me that I'm frightened." I moved one hand slowly down her neck to her shoulder. She closed her eyes until my hand stopped moving.

Her eyes refocused on mine. "So…practice?"

I laughed. I couldn't help myself. "It couldn't hurt."

"Good," she said with a smile before placing her soft lips on my hard ones.

My lips moved against hers and she began to raise her body. I moved my hands to her waist, not quite sure what she was doing until it was too late. Quicker than I thought humanly possible, Bella brought her leg down on the other side of me and was now straddling my lap, her hands tangled in my hair trying to hold me in place. My hands held firmly to her hips. I would not let her sit down and frustrated she finally pulled her lips from mine.

"Edward?" It was a plea.

Her lips were still close to mine waiting for me to give in to her request. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't. For one the knowledge of what we would be doing, or trying to do, in such a short amount of time was on my mind all the time. The feel of her body rubbing against mine in such an intimate way would undoubtedly cause certain parts of my body to react. I wasn't ready for that. Not yet. For another, my senses told me it was drawing near eight o'clock and I still hadn't told Bella I was leaving.

Instead of kissing her again as my body wanted, I picked her up off my lap and lay her down on the bed beside me. Moving to lean over her I softened the blow with a gentle kiss to her neck. "Sorry, love. Not this morning."

"Why?"

I took a deep breath inhaling her scent. I would take the memory of it with me this weekend. I pulled back a few inches and brushed her hair back from her face. "Jasper, Emmett, and Carlisle want to go hunting."

I saw the color momentarily drain from her face before she met my eyes again. "When?" she paused, "How long?"

"This morning." I saw her swallow. "They're coming back late Sunday night, Carlisle has a shift at the hospital."

"Three days," she said, trying to let her disappointment show in her voice. I didn't have to tell her I was planning to go with them. It was obvious I was or I wouldn't have told her. "Where are you going?"

Her hands were resting on my chest now. I don't think she even knew. Holding myself up with one arm, I gently caressed her cheek with the other as I spoke. "Jasper found a reserve somewhere in Canada."

"Lots of mountain lions?" she asked with a hint of a smile.

I smiled back as I continued to try and sooth the impending separation. "That's what he's promised."

She was silent for a few minutes. "How long do we have before you have to go?"

I glanced at the clock beside her bed and her eyes followed mine. The time showed 7:52. "I'm supposed to be back at the house at eight."

I heard a small sigh escape her lips and I felt a tug in my chest in response. I was about to call my brothers and tell them to forget it, to go along with out me, when I felt Bella push on my chest. Moving away as she wished, I rolled onto my back to find she had rolled with me; her face only inches from mine yet again.

Her lips descended in a light kiss that was amazingly potent. She pulled back but not before running her hands lightly against my chest in a similar movement from her sleep talking moment during the night.

I watched her get off the bed in a very graceful movement for Bella. She walked to her closet and I moved from the bed. Turning, she had her bathroom bag in her hand as she walked over to me and again placed a brief kiss on my lips, this one not nearly as sensual. "Bag a few mountain lions for me."

She was smiling up at me and I smiled back. "I love you," I said kissing her forehead.

"I love you, too."

I knew it was time for me to leave. I didn't want to but I must. With a final soft caress to her cheek with my hand, I turned to the window and left.

**Next chapter starts the boys' weekend.**


	12. Chapter 12

**And the boys weekend begins. This will be a very reflective three days for Edward. He has a lot on his mind.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

We crossed the Canadian boarder just after ten. Carlisle and Jasper were consumed in thoughts about their wives. Thankfully those thoughts were chaste ones. Emmett was going over all the hunting possibilities. He was hoping to come across at least one grizzly this weekend.

My mind was on Bella of course. I hated to leave her. I always hated to leave her. After only two hours apart I could feel the emptiness growing inside me. The knowledge that I would be away from her for the next few days was causing a pull in my silent heart that was not pleasant.

Trying to turn my mind to something productive I began going over the information I'd obtained last night. Bella wanted to touch me. Closing my eyes I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed in frustration trying to find a way to accommodate this development and what I…we were going to do about it.

Jasper turned to look at me, questioning me in his mind if I was all right. I gave him a brief nod and tried to settle my emotions once more. There was no reason for Jasper to suffer just because I was.

I knew Bella wasn't being unreasonable. I would be touching her so of course she would want to do the same. She loved me.

From what I'd been told, we were still more than an hour from our destination. At least focusing on this new problem would help to pass the time.

I forced myself to relax back into the seat and closed my eyes taking slow deep breaths to keep myself calm. It was a beautiful day. The windows were down and I could smell the forest and all the life within it surrounding us, the varying scents of my family mingled in.

Once I felt completely relaxed I settled in again on this new…complication. I didn't like that word. It made it seem like Bella's desire to show me her love was a negative thing. It wasn't in the strictest sense. Or it wouldn't be if I were human. But I wasn't.

As I had been doing for the last few days, I let my mind remember last night in vivid detail. It wasn't as if Bella had never touched me before, she had. She'd touched my hand, my arm, my face, my hair. She'd even touched my chest and my back though clothes. But last night…her dream…

Her hands hadn't remained on my chest as they had in the past. Of course, she had not realized what she was doing but it didn't matter. I did. Or at least I did eventually. What would have happened if I hadn't stopped her?

I knew if I still had a heartbeat mine would be racing right now just as hers had been. Even if I had still been human, last night I would have stopped her. We'd agreed to wait to try and we would. But the night in question, our wedding night was now three weeks away and, while I was getting better at controlling myself, I hadn't factored in having her hands on me in any other capacity than they had in the past. That was stupid. I knew that now.

Building my tolerance and practice were the best methods of achieving my goal. During our last session I'd been able to stay in my loves arms for nineteen and a half minutes. And I hadn't hurt her. That was progress.

When I returned, as much as my conservative upbringing shied away from the idea, I would have to discuss this with Bella. Just as with everything else in our relationship we needed ground rules. Bella was going to be my wife and she was right, I needed to be able to discuss these things with her even if it made me uncomfortable.

The jeep slowed as it came around a corner before Carlisle turned the vehicle to the left. We were on a dirt road now heading deeper into the woods. I could hear no other thoughts but those of my family. No humans were near.

After another twenty minutes we came to a stop. As we exited the vehicle, Emmett was barely able to contain his joy. "This is going to be great!" he shouted.

"Your going to scare everything away from us, you know," Jasper said.

"Pfft," Emmett waived Jaspers comment away. "That just means more fun chasing them down."

"Yes. Well," Carlisle said as he took off his jacket and threw it into the back seat, "Shall we get started?"

Emmett didn't wait for any further invitation and took off to the right. Jasper shrugged and two seconds later was following after him. Carlisle remained with me. When I didn't immediately follow my brothers, he raised his eyebrows in question.

"I'm fine," I said and then took off after Emmett and Jasper.

A few seconds later, I heard Carlisle following after me. His thoughts were full of concern as we ran. I wasn't pushing myself. Emmett and Jasper weren't far. They were a mile ahead waiting for us. They'd picked up several scents of large game. I couldn't help the smile that tugged at my lips when I heard Jasper's thoughts confirm that one of those scents belongs to more than one mountain lion and that maybe that would make me happy.

We all came to a stop together in the clearing. For the first time this trip all their thoughts were of me. They were waiting. Instead of answering any of them I closed my eyes and found the scent I was looking for. Slipping down into my hunting croutch, I took off.

The sun was setting and we had all gathered back near the jeep. Emmett hadn't managed to track down a grizzly today but he was hopeful he would find one tomorrow. We didn't need to sleep and could hunt in the dark but typically on these outings we would spend the evenings together; at least for the most part. It was a time for bonding. A time in the past when I was not excluded given I had no mate. Bella had changed that in many respects except one. I couldn't hunt with her. Not yet.

My thoughts of Bella and her upcoming change began a title wave of emotions. Excitement. Fear. Shame. I was jumping emotions quickly; going back and forth as each thought crossed my mind.

_Edward!_

My eyes found Jasper's. "Sorry."

Carlisle and Emmett now had their focus on me as well. I could still hear the worry in their minds. "I'm fine," They all looked doubtful.

I didn't want to discuss this with them. They all knew what I was about to do and the risks. The pity in their thoughts was too much. I needed space. Without a second thought I got up and I ran.

Hitting my full speed in no time, I ran until I could no longer hear them.

I'd been sitting in a small grove of trees by myself for just over an hour before I heard him coming. Carlisle. He was reciting a recent lecture he'd read. I suppose I should be grateful for that. At least it was better than the pity I had felt coming from them earlier.

He slowed as he approached me. Silently asking permission to invade my privacy. "It's ok."

Taking a seat a few feet away from me he remained quite, still blocking his thoughts from me. We sat in total silence for several minutes before he finally spoke. "I'm sorry, Edward. We didn't mean to upset you."

I just nodded. It was dark but I knew he could see me.

Again we sat. The forest would have been quiet to human ears, but I could clearly hear the bustling of life all around me. Carlisle was still with me as we both listened.

It was me who finally broke the silence. "Do you ever regret it?"

He turned his face to me. We were alone so he spoke his thoughts aloud. "Esme you mean?"

Of course my father would know where I was going with my thoughts.

He leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees, folding his hands together. "Sometimes," he sighed. "Bella is different, Edward. She is choosing this."

I stood and walked to the other side of the clearing. "She doesn't understand what she's choosing."

He walked over to me and laid a hand on my shoulder, silently asking me to face him. "She does. She has prepared as much as she can." Before I could respond, he continued. "Is that what is bothering you so or is it the wedding?"

We were standing close now. I knew I could be honest with Carlisle. "It is everything. What if after I…change her she hates me for it?" I was expecting an immediate denial but he just sat there waiting. "And then there is the wedding or…well after the wedding. I'm still not sure I can give her what she wants."

Carlisle took his time. He watched the mixed emotions race across my face. "Edward. Son. I've known Bella for long enough to know how she feels about you. I don't believe she could ever hate you. She is your mate and you are hers." He gave me a moment before he continued. "As for after the wedding…you will have to trust your own judgment and control." Again he paused. "Was there something specific that's worrying you? You seem more distraught today."

Perceptive. Carlisle was just as perceptive as Bella and she didn't have vampire senses yet. "It's…it's Bella." I turned and faced my father. If I was going to jump, I might as well do it head first. "Last night in her sleep she reached for me."

His eyebrow rose in question.

"She was dreaming about me…us…together." I paused to make sure he understood my meaning. He did of course. "I didn't realize at first what… I knelt beside her bed in case she needed me. I didn't expect her to reach for me but she did." I turned away and sat down on a fallen tree. Carlisle remained where he was. Waiting. "Bella has reached out for me in her sleep before but it wasn't the same." I paused trying to figure out how exactly to communicate this to him and decided her actions really didn't need to be explained, only my discovery. "She is going to want to touch me and I do not know if I will be able to let her."

Comprehension filled his face when I looked up and he finally moved to sit beside me. Instead of offering advice he asked, "What are you going to do?"

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose again. "I have no idea. I want to make her happy."

He reached out and placed a reassuring hand on my knee. "I know you do. What are you doing now to prepare?"

A sarcastic laugh escaped me. "Practice."

"Practice?"

"Trying to push my control when I'm with her. Staying close when I would normally pull away."

"Is it helping?"

"Yes."

"Well then… I would say to continue. Have you…talked to Bella?"

"About her touching me? No. There wasn't time. I know I have to though."

He just nodded in response and stood to go. "I will leave you alone now if you want."

I nodded. I did want to be alone for a while longer. "Thank you."

He turned to leave. "Carlisle?"

Stopping he turned around again to face me. "The wedding," I said.

"Yes?"

"Bella is having Alice stand up with her and I was wondering if you would…"

A huge smile broke out on his face and joy filled his thoughts. _Of course Edward. I'd be honored._

I smiled back and watched him go.


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Chapter Notes:

**Thank you to all those who reviewed last chapter, I loved reading your responses.**

**This chapter is Saturday of the hunting trip. **

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

My family left me alone after that. The night was long. It was always longer when I was away from her. I could easily have gone hunting again to pass the time but that wasn't appealing to me. Instead I leaned back against a large tree and closed my eyes. If we had to be apart, I would make the time productive.

Resting my hands on the ground at my sides, I let the memory of my love fill my senses. Her beating heart, her flowery scent came back to me almost as if she were here. In my mind, she was lying on her bed, hair billowing on her pillow framing her beautiful face. I reached out and ran a cold finger along her cheek and she leaned into to touch.

Allowing myself to get lost in my thoughts here where it was safe alone in the forest, I imagined myself closing the distance between us and pressing my lips to hers. She was eager as her mouth met mine. My hands cupped her face and her warmth heated my palms, the movement of her mouth massaging my hands adding to my pleasure. Sliding my hands down her neck, I felt the beating of her pulse as her heart continued to accelerate. Going lower still, my fingers brushed her collarbone.

I felt the tension in my body at what I was about to do. It was only in my mind but that didn't matter. I had a very vivid imagination and this was as close to real as I would get until our wedding night when hopefully I would be able to touch her without barriers. When I would attempt to show my Bella just how much I love her.

My hand drifted to skim the top of her breast as I imagined her response and mine. I knew she'd be softer there. When I held her close to my chest, her breasts would press and flatten against my hardness. Touching them with my hands would be quite different. Bella loved when I touched her. The response of my body just thinking about touching the more intimate parts of her body was noticeable. As the hands of my mind floated to cup the soft mounds of my love, my breathing accelerated.

Concentrating on keeping my touch light I moved my mouth from hers and skimmed my nose against her jaw, neck and collarbone. We were both still very much clothed in my mind. I wasn't ready to deal with no barriers yet, even in my imagination. I let my mouth follow my hand and settled my nose in the center of her chest. The sweet scent I knew would be there brought another round of tension to my limbs and I tried to calm down while not losing hold of my fantasy.

I was honest enough with myself to acknowledge that's what this was. This was ok though. Bella was going to be my wife, my mate. We were going to be together forever. I would love her in every possible way. I would be a good husband to her and make sure she never regreted choosing me.

Taking things slow and pausing when I needed to, I managed to make my way down her body. My hands were resting on her jean clad hips and my nose was hovering above the junction of her legs. I remember her scent. Not the one of her blood but the one that made her a woman. The one that brought more human instincts out in me and made me want to possess her in ways I could not.

It was at that moment I realized I had never been that close to her scent. I'd smelled it as I'd held her in my arms or kneeling beside her bed, but never the proximity I was now imagining. Surely it would be much stronger here and just the thought of it brought me crashing back to reality once again and my eyes popped open.

Glancing down at my hands I realized they were no longer lying peacefully on the ground at my side. They were two inches into the dirt. I pulled them into my lap and lay my head back once again on the tree. My handprints were clearly outlined in the soil by my side; soil that could very easily be my loves flesh in a matter of weeks.

The morning was breaking and I heard my family coming. They'd given me solitude throughout the night but they would be expecting me to hunt with them again today. Emmett appeared first, followed by Jasper and finally Carlisle. It was my father whose look questioned my well-being. I nodded reassuringly to him but he still held onto his worry. I always had difficulty lying to him.

Emmett and Jasper were anxious to get on with the hunt and made their way into the forest. Carlisle came up beside me and placed a comforting pat on my shoulder and then took off to follow my brothers. After another few seconds I followed them. There was no use dwelling right now. My body was tense from my mental exercise and I needed release. Release hunting could provide.

By the end of the day I'd managed to take down two cougars and a black bear. I'd come across a wolf as well but didn't pursue it. I knew Bella would ask about my hunting trip, she always did, and I didn't want to have to lie to her. She knew what we hunted and I wouldn't deny my brothers their choice in prey but I wouldn't knowingly cause my love pain. She loved Jacob Black no matter how much that fact pained me.

We were back in the clearing about two miles from the jeep. Emmett and Carlisle headed off to get some things from the vehicle leaving Jasper and I alone. I'd been thinking today about Alice's suggestion. I didn't like it. It went against my conservative grain but I couldn't disagree with her reasoning. After what I'd experienced this morning, I wasn't sure I could do this without his help. I hadn't even realized I'd been pressing down so hard until I'd looked at my hands. There was no way I could make that mistake with Bella.

He sensed the change in my mood and looked over at me. _What is it Edward?_

I closed my eyes as I spoke. "Alice," I pulsed. "she told you she talked to me?" I couldn't believe I was bringing this up to him. "About you helping me I mean."

I felt Jasper's movement and opened my eyes. He had straightened his posture and was now facing me. "Yes." His head tilted to the side observing me. "I like Bella. She will be a good sister and a good mate for you. If I can help you, I will," he said with conviction.

I didn't want to utter my next words but I knew I must. "Thank you. I would appreciate it."

We both knew it could not be now. Carlisle and Emmett would be back soon and we would need privacy. When Jasper shared his talent with me it would affect anyone who happened to be near. The four of us were away from our mates this weekend and bringing our sexual desires to the forefront of all our minds was not a good idea.

With an unspoken agreement we sat in silence until Emmett and Carlisle reappeared with a deck of cards. My brother's loved to play poker and Carlisle was quite fond of it as well. They didn't usually play with me though, given my ability. It showed just how worried about me they were. I felt bad for making them worry.

Everyone took a seat in a circle as Carlisle dealt the first hand. To be fair, I tried to block their thoughts as much as possible. Bella, as always, was the only true object of distraction for me. I wondered what she was doing with her day. Would she spend time with her human friends for possibly the last time or would she spend it with the women of my family? Or…and I didn't like this option…would she spend it alone?

I was so totally distracted with my thoughts that I'd missed what was going on in front of me. Apparently, I had bet a fair amount of money and Jasper had called. When I looked down at my hand I realized I had nothing. Jasper laid down his cards to revel a full house. Emmett gave a loud shout of triumph, even though it wasn't he who'd won the hand. He was just happy someone had out-witted me for once. I usually cleaned house when we played.

While my brothers were celebrating and Emmett began shuffling the cards to the next round, Carlisle's thoughts entered my mind. _Edward are you sure you're alright? I want you to be alright son. Can I help?_

I met his eyes and through the silent communication we've developed over the years, I tried to reassure him again. He didn't push, for which I was glad, but he didn't fully believe me. Throughout the rest of the night we played. It was the most evenly matched game we had ever played together due to my distraction. I won my fair share of games but it was not my usual overwhelming victory.

Just before dawn Emmett pulled a huge pile toward him and fixed me with a huge smirk. "Little brother I think we need to get you distracted more often. This is great!"

He was so lost in his jubilance he didn't notice my reaction. The other two did. I played one more hand and then excused myself. I needed to be alone. As I entered into the trees and began to run I heard the beginnings of a reprimand from my father.

_Sorry Edward._ I heard Emmett think just seconds before I was out of their field of thought.

Chapter End Notes:

**Next chapter will be Sunday of the hunting trip.**


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Chapter Notes:

**This is the last chapter of the boys hunting trip. There is a feeding scene in this chapter so if you don't like reading that you might want to skip over it. It should be pretty obvious when it's coming up and when it ends. **

Disclaimer: I don't own Edward or Twilight.

I ran almost fifty miles before stopping. It was nearly dawn and a hint of the sun's first rays could be seen on the horizon. I walked a little further and came to a small ridge. The tree's opened up here to provide a place of peaceful solitude.

Taking a seat on the edge of a jutting rock, I watched as the sun made its slow ascent up into the sky. Looking down at my hands I saw the tell tale sparkle that showed me for what I was; the one that Bella found beautiful.

She would love it here. It was far away from humans and we could be alone just like in our meadow. After her change we would no longer have that place. Our place. The treaty would force us to leave and never return.

We still hadn't decided where we would be going after. The need to be far away from humans was a large consideration, so Alaska had been mentioned as a possibility. However, I was not sure that was a good idea. Bella is my life, my only love, but she had been distraught when she'd found out about Tanya several months ago. Being a newborn would be difficult enough without having that added obstacle.

Soon Bella's skin would be like mine. She would sparkle in the sunlight and never be able to go out in it again where humans could see her. Would she also find herself beautiful as the light reflected off her skin? It was one of the things I was anxious to see for myself. My love in sunlight now was breathtaking. Would I have the same reaction as she the first time I saw her in her new body?

My thoughts of her increased the ache in my chest. I wanted to be back in her presence. I had been away too long and had to keep reminding myself this was the last time. There were only three weeks to go, less now, and Bella and I would never have to be parted again.

I hung my head and recalled my reaction to my brother's comment. I knew I had over reacted, but at the time I couldn't help it. The separation had already been too much for me, and my anxiety over my potential loss of control drove me to flee.

Emmett was Emmett and I knew he had not meant any harm. He just didn't think before the words came out of his mouth, and that was one of the things I loved about him. He was honest. Emmett didn't edit.

The sun was high in the sky now and I knew it was time to get back. We would be leaving in a few hours and I knew they would be worried about me if I didn't show up before the sun began its decent. I made my way back through the woods at a slow run. Returning to my family would not get me back to Bella any faster and I still felt I needed to be alone a while longer.

After an hour my nose picked up the scent of my favorite prey. I didn't need to hunt again but it called to me. Changing direction slightly, I followed the clearly marked trail until I could see the young male in the distance. He hadn't noticed me yet. Normally I would have already been in my hunting crouch, and why I waited till now to change to my true nature I did not know.

Only seconds later my body crashed into the lithe predator and I wasted no time sinking my teeth into his flesh. His blood coated my teeth, my tongue. Claws came within inches of me but never made contact. It didn't take long for his struggles to cease and his body to become limp in my arms. With a last thud his heartbeat stopped and I finished draining him quickly before the blood began to cool.

I pushed the bloodless body away from me and wiped my mouth. I was fairly neat when I fed, unlike Emmett. I'd learned from Carlisle and from practice. As was usual these days, I wondered what Bella would be like hunting. What creature would be the first she'd take down with her new inhuman body? Would these new instincts disgust her? Would I?

There were so many unknowns and the varying possibilities frightened me. I needed to get her through our agreement first, and that would mean doing everything I could to prepare. The need to talk to Bella further about our practicing was first on my list. I also needed to do more research. And of course there was Jasper. I hated to admit it but he could help and I couldn't turn that away.

There was movement in the trees to my right and I saw another male eyeing me warily. He would have smelt the blood and come to investigate. The carcass would not go to waste. I was just another animal; another part of the food chain.

Standing, I headed into the woods in the opposite direction of the newcomer. There was no use holding up his dinner. It was growing late now and I needed to get back. With minor effort I increased my speed, leaving the evidence of my presence behind me.

As I walked through the trees, I heard the mental sigh of relief from Carlisle. Jasper stood by his side but neither one faced me, only Emmett. He closed the distance between us slowly, testing my mood. Reasonably sure I wouldn't rip his limbs off, he continued toward me. "I'm sorry Edward. I didn't mean…" _I speak without thinking sometimes and well… I know you're going through stuff right now and …and I don't …I don't want to make it worse. _

Letting him off the hook, "I know, Emmett. Apology accepted." The grin I received was purely Emmett.

Carlisle finally turned to face Emmett and I. "Are we ready to go?"

He was speaking to all of us but his eyes were on me. I nodded and he nodded back, a small smile tugging at his face.

Getting into the car I stared again out the window and began counting down the minutes until I could see her again. She would be asleep by the time we arrived but I would still go to her. I needed to feel her presence even if she was unaware of me. I leaned my head back against the seat and closed my eyes as we drove in silence.

It was after two in the morning by the time we arrived home and no one wasted any time getting to their mates. Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett ran into the house to their wives as I disappeared into the woods and made my way to Bella. When I arrived at her house, her window was open. I'd told her I'd be back tonight. She was expecting me.

As I stood below her window, the ache in my chest was different now. It was as if I could almost breath again after going without air for an extended length of time. As if I'd gone without air for the past sixty-six hours.

Climbing through her window I saw her lying on her bed. Her scent brought the familiar burn to my throat and her heartbeat drew me to her. I looked down allowing my eyes to take in her features. She was in a tank top and sweats. The sheet she normally had covering her way kicked away, barely hanging onto the end of the bed.

My eyes traveled up to her face. Her lips were slightly parted as she breathed slow and deep in her sleep. I'd missed her talking, which usually came around midnight if she had gotten to bed at a decent hour. Her cheeks were somewhat flushed and I noticed a small bead of sweat on her forehead. She was hot.

I looked again. The sweats. I took a deep breath and caught the scent I'd been looking for; blood. Bella had started her monthly bleeding while I was away.

Since our relationship began she'd insisted on wearing extra clothing to try and mask her condition whenever it came. I have to admit the first few months were…difficult, but since Italy it had not been a temptation. I'd tried to tell her the effort on her part was not needed, but my voice had gone unheard.

She frowned in her sleep and I wondered if she was also in pain. I did not desire to wake her from her sleep but I did not want to see her suffering either. At the very least I could help her with her temperature.

Taking off my shoes and placing them in the corner, I moved to the bed. She was situated in the center so I carefully lifted her in my arms as I settled back and then placed her at my side. I was right. She was hot; at least a degree or two above normal.

Her body immediately responded by curling toward me. Bella's arm came up to circle me as her head found my chest. She sighed and her warm breath brushed against me.

I kept my hands and arms away from her; not wanting to make her too cold. I buried my nose in her hair and enjoyed the searing burn. I was home.

Chapter End Notes:

**Next chapter Bella wakes up and more practicing. :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you so much to those of you who have been so supportive of this story. I love reading your reviews and hearing your thoughts. Just reminder...there is a thread set up under the BD section of the forum and I do post little bits from the next chapter there for those of you who like to have a preview of what's coming. **

**This chapter has been my favorite to write so far so I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do. **

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Bella slept for another hour and then became restless. I ran my hand along her back trying to comfort her. It worked for a while but it was obvious her pain was not getting better. Shifting my weight I lay her back on the bed and quickly made my way to the bathroom for some supplies.

In the minute I was gone my love had curled onto her side clutching her stomach. I lay the water, pills and heating pad I had retrieved on her nightstand and knelt beside her bed. Slowly I ran my cold hand along the side of her face several times. I smiled as I felt her lean into my touch. "Bella?" I said as I continued to caress her check. "Bella, love, wake up please."

A loan moan escaped her lips and I was unsure if it was caused from her waking or from the pain she was obviously suffering. Her lids slowly opened and her expressive eyes fell on my face. "Edward?" she asked as if unsure it was really me.

"Yes, love," I said while I continued to try and soothe her as much as I was physically capable.

She took a deep breath and then her lips turned up in a smile as she moved closer to me. "You're back."

I couldn't help but smile back. It was so good to hear her voice again, to see those eyes looking at me with the love I knew she had for me. "I am."

Her arms wrapped high around my waist as she leaned into me. I cradled her head to my chest placing a soft kiss in her hair. We lay like this for a few minutes and then I felt her wince once more. She instantly moved away from me. I could have held onto her but let her back away since I wanted her to use the medicine I had brought for her.

She was too far from me now, about two feet. "I'm sorry," she said.

I knew what she was referring to but decided to act like I did not. Instead I reached for the water and pain pills on the nightstand and handed them to her. "For what, love?"

She sat up and took both the pills and water. After swallowing, she handed the glass back to me. "Thank you," she said looking at me from beneath her lashes. Then she lay back down, still two feet away from me, and sighed, "You know for what."

I didn't comment. Instead, I reached for the heating pad, plugged it in and placed it where I had seen her do so in the past. To avoid the cord, I walked to the other side of the bed and began to take my place beside her once more. "You don't have to," she said.

Without pulse, I took my place and wrapped my arms around her. Deciding she was not going to let this go, "Love, I have told you I am fine. Your blood does not bother me anymore." While this was not completely true, it was true that her blood held no appeal for me now. I could still smell it, of course, and it still caused an increased burning in my throat along with the occasional influx of venom. It did not, however, cause me to even contemplate not being by her side. The joy I felt in her presence far outweighed the physical discomfort I was in even when her blood was fresh.

Bella's monthly blood was different as well. Although it still smelled of her sweet fragrance, it was not the same. The monster that I was still found it quite desirable but resistance was easy. Very easy.

Her head lay on my chest and I could feel the heating pad as it began to warm. We lay in silence for a while and if not for her breathing I would have thought her to be asleep. I continued to try to do what I could to ease her pain with comforting gestures. Slowly the tension began to subside as the medicine took effect.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

"Does my blood really not tempt you anymore? Not at all?"

This was curious. We had had this conversation before battling the newborns. I had been honest. My desire to drink from her had disappeared after my entire being realized what it felt like to not have her exist. Even the monster wasn't fond of that painful memory.

I took too long to answer. She raised herself so she could look at my face. I wasn't sure how much she could see in the darkness but it didn't matter, I could see her. Concern stretched her features. She tucked her head into my chest and sighed before returning to look at me. "Edward," I waited. She bit her lower lip. "When we…"

I stroked her hair away from her face trying to encourage her to speak freely. As if gaining determination, she squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. "Edward when we are together…there will be…blood, won't there?"

Ah. So that was what she was thinking. "There usually is, yes."

She bit her lip again. "And you'll…you'll be ok?"

I debated lying to her but thought better of it. "I don't know, love. This will be new to the both of us."

I felt my muscles tense at the thought that I could be overcome with my bloodlust for her given what my brothers had told me. If I lost control, I would not bite her. I was determined in that. Whatever happened, I would not. Blood or no, I would not do that to her. Our wedding night would be one of the last human memories she would have and whether or not we would be able to accomplish our goal, I would make it as pleasant a memory for her as I could. It would not end in her death or her change.

Looking at her face I could see she was thinking. What she was thinking I had no idea. "Can I help?" She must have seen the questioning look on my face, "I mean…we are practicing other things. Is there anything to help you with that?"

I was quiet for a long time and she resettled herself against my chest, realizing I was thinking. Was there a way to help prepare for that part? I was sure it was her current situation that had brought the subject to bare.

As I was considering, I heard Bella's breathing change and her muscles relax. I placed a kiss in her hair and let myself relax back into her pillow, surrounded by her scent, as I continued to contemplate this new possibility. My love would give me time to think tonight. But in the morning, I was sure she would expect to continue our conversation.

Charlie passed by Bella's door just after five thirty but did not enter, for which I was glad. Bella was sleeping soundly and I did not want to have to move and disturb her. Her fist held tightly to my shirt and the warmth of her breath blew across my chest.

I'd spent the last few hours thinking over our words and felt we could use this to our advantage if she was willing. I felt a bit strange about the direction of my thoughts but I was willing to push my discomfort aside. It was surprising to me how much I wanted to talk to Bella about my thoughts. Although what I was suggesting provided me no comfort, I found happiness in knowing it would be something we would be doing together to prepare.

Her interrupted sleep during the night meant my love didn't wake until after nine. She came awake slowly and I felt her mouth curl into a smile as she molded her body closer to mine. "Good Morning, love."

She glanced up at me through half closed lids. "Morning."

"Would you like some breakfast?"

She shook her head no and raised herself up. "I need a minute."

I nodded and released her. Watching her grab her bathroom bag reminded me of the course of my thoughts. "Bella?" She stopped just before opening the door. "Do you think you could change into your shorts?" She looked confused. "The ones you normally wear to bed, I mean." Then it struck me that maybe she'd want to get dressed for the day.

Before I could add anything more she spoke. "Ugh…sure." Walking back to her dresser, she grabbed a pair of shorts I'd seen her in many times and went to the door again. "I'll be right back."

I heard her in the bathroom going about her morning routine and once again wished I could know her thoughts. What did she think of my request? Did she know what I had in mind?

My mind was still going over the many possibilities of her thoughts when she came back through the door. Setting her bag down she came back to the bed and sat down Indian style next to me. We weren't touching and I did not like that. I needed contact.

Sitting up, I reached for her hand and laced our fingers. She spoke first, "What did you decide?" She paused briefly, "About the blood I mean?"

I sighed. I was determined to be open about this. "I considered what you said and I do not know if it will help but…I am willing to try." I paused and felt the side of my mouth lift. "It couldn't hurt."

Bella's shoulders fell slightly as if she was releasing a long held breath and I realized she'd been nervous. Did she think I would dismiss her concern? I didn't get to contemplate it further though. "What do you want me to do?" she asked.

I closed my eyes. I couldn't look at her.

"Lay down, please." She did so without pause.

My love lay quietly on her back with her legs straight. She was watching me but I didn't move. Bella reached out and touched my hand. "It's ok," she whispered. "Do what you need to do."

I closed my eyes again, briefly, and nodded. Leaning down, I placed my hand lightly on her hip and rested my head on her stomach. I could hear sounds from beneath her skin.

I did not move. Instead I began to breath deeply, centering my nose above the space between her legs. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the smell. The burning was there but it wasn't terrible. I'd suffered much worse with Bella in our early days.

Bella's fingers brushed my hair. "Do you…" she paused, "Do you want to…go lower?"

I shook my head slightly. "No. No, this is fine." I had never been this close to her before. Not like this.

She shifted slightly and opened her legs, sending a wave of blood filled scent to my nose. I stiffened. She noticed and her fingers continued their gentle ministrations.

Giving me a few minutes to adjust, she didn't say anything. I was grateful and began to relax once more. Her hand paused again and I felt her take a deep breath. "Please, Edward. I want to do this for you if it will help. Get as close as you can." When I didn't move, "For us."

My body began to move and a part of my mind was screaming at me to stop. Bella was right, though. I said I would do all I could do to prepare as long as she was willing and we weren't crossing any of the boundaries. I pushed my century old mind aside and positioned myself kneeling between her open legs.

I watched her face closely as my own face descended to the apex of her legs. I could feel the heat coming off her body and it got hotter the closer I came to my destination. The scent of her blood mixed with her human scent became more powerful.

My breath was coming quicker and I realized so was Bella's. Her clothing was between us but the knowledge that we had never been this close before sent my mind soaring. I could hear her heart rate pick up its pace and realized my current position was having a similar effect on her as it was on me.

The knowledge only made my breathing increase still. I could smell her blood. It was only inches from me now with only thin fabric as a shield. It wasn't the blood that was driving me wild inside though. It was the other scent coming from her that was compelling me.

My hands pressed into the mattress. I could feel the springs beneath but I didn't care. I closed the remaining distance between us and felt my nose touch the seam behind which my loves scent was hidden and inhaled deeply. A shiver rolled down Bella's body and a soft moan escaped her lips that brought me back to my senses.

Pushing back off the bed I stood looking down at her and the place where I'd just been. Shaking my head I tried to remove the desire I had to return. I shouldn't have done that. I'd gone to far. "I'm so sorry Bella."

She pushed herself up on her elbows and looked at me for a moment before getting off the bed and moving toward me. I stood perfectly still. She'd given me permission to smell her, not to… no I should not have done what I did.

I was chastising myself when Bella's arms wrapped around me and she buried her face in my chest. I felt her soft lips press against me. "Was it ok? With the blood I mean?"

She was asking about the blood? After what I'd just done? I looked down and she was looking up at me. Her eyes were full of concern. Concern for me.

Bella wasn't upset with me, even though I had crossed over a line. She was too good for me. I loved her. "Yes," I said, "The scent of your blood was manageable."

She smiled, "Good." Her arms tightened again and her breath brushed against my shirt. "Don't be sorry, Edward." I felt her smile. "I quite enjoyed myself."

I couldn't help but smile and gave her a light squeeze back. "Breakfast?"

Pulling back, she nodded and grabbed my hand, leading me down the stairs.


	16. Chapter 16

Author's Chapter Notes:

**Well the last chapter seemed to cause a bit of a stir. Some of you loved it and others, not so much. I did feel the subject matter needed to be addressed though. Blood is a very real issue for them and the possibility of him losing his much loved control in the heat of the moment could be a problem. This was a perfect oppertunity to address it and it fit the timeline in BD. Bella told Carlisle her period was 16 days before the wedding (that also give you a bit of information on how many more days we have left to cover in this story.)**

**This chapter is more practicing and a bit of a set up for a later chapter as well. Enjoy. :)**

**Also...this is the longest chapter thus far so no complaints. ;)**

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

After Bella finished eating her breakfast, we decided to stay in and watch movies. Whenever Bella's monthly blood came, she had a strict policy of avoiding my house. Even after I explained to her that it was not a problem for my family or me she was still adamant about it, stating that she wouldn't be responsible for making things harder for them. The knowledge that we had each spent a significant amount of time in high schools over the years when at any given time a significant amount of girls were bleeding made no difference to her. Although her over sensitivity was unnecessary, it was also endearing.

She had changed into a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt and was now sitting beside me with her head resting against my shoulder. My arm wrapped around her, holding her close. It felt wonderful to have her by my side again.

Neither of us said much during the first movie. I traced small circle patterns on her arm and enjoyed the feel of her warmth.

We took a small break between movies for Bella to get what she called 'movie watching' food. Coming from the kitchen, she brought popcorn, chips, and a Hershey's bar. I gave a small chuckle at her selections. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she sent me a glare. It only made me laugh more deeply.

As she settled back into position beside me, I started the second movie. Bella shifted so she could better access the items she'd brought from the kitchen. Her body was no longer in contact with mine. I moved to close the distance between us and brought my fingers up to run gently through her hair. She leaned back into my touch and closed her eyes.

This movie was not as interesting as the first. I was paying more attention to Bella. My love seemed to be having the same problem. I noticed her eyes kept drifting closed.

First I thought she might be tired but then I realized it was when I put slightly more pressure against her scalp that the reaction occurred. To test my theory, I very lightly moved my fingers through her hair only grazing her scalp beneath. Seconds after I lightened my touch, her eyes opened. Interesting.

To continue with my experimentation, I gradually increased the pressure. When I noticed her eyes closing, I continued at the same level for a minute before easing again. Her eyes reopened. I couldn't help but smile.

Increasing the pressure once again, her eyes closed. After a few minutes, her head drifted back and a soft moan escaped her lips. I thought of the pleasure I felt when her hands were in my hair. Why had I not realized this before?

I continued at a steady pressure my love seemed to enjoy. Soon her breathing changed and she drifted to sleep. Reaching for the blanket on the back of the couch, I wrapped it around her. She shifted and her head came to rest on me. I tried to make sure she was comfortable. The movie continued to play in the background, but watching Bella sleep was much more appealing.

My love stayed asleep for just over an hour, enough time for the movie to end. When she woke, she leaned into me and smiled. Saying she needed a human minute, she left me on the couch to put in another movie.

When she returned, she carried a carton of chocolate bon bon's, the latest in her line of junk food. She wrapped the blanket around her, laying the carton in her lap and resting her head on me as I pressed play once again.

The final scene faded on the screen and Bella put the last two bon bons into her mouth in quick succession causing her cheeks to puff out. I couldn't help but chuckle. She looked so cute with her tiny mouth trying to wrap itself around the cold treat.

My amusement didn't escape her. "Something funny Mr. Cullen?" she mumbled, her mouth still full.

This of course made me laugh harder, although I tried to suppress it. "No, love."

She raised her eyebrows giving me a skeptical look and set the empty carton on the coffee table before turning back to glare at me. Bella was not helping my laughter. The fierce look on her face was broken by the slight upward pull of her lips. "You don't mess with a girl and her chocolate you know."

I tried once again to curb my amusement and forced a neutral expression. "Bella, I am sorry, love," I said as I reached out to brush a small piece of hair that had fallen from her ponytail.

We sat for a few moments, my hand resting on her shoulder. I watched her eyes travel to the clock just below the television and then back to her lap. I waited. She obviously wanted to ask me something.

Her teeth came out to worry her bottom lip before releasing it again. I had the urge to run my tongue long the small fading impressions her teeth had made to her skin but suppressed it. Instead I contented myself running my fingers lightly along the collar of her shirt.

In waiting for her to speak, I was a bit surprised when she let the blanket fall from her shoulders as she moved toward me. As her warm lips touched mine, I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck letting my fingers slip into the strands of her hair. Her hands came up to grip my own hair as her lips moved against mine. My other hand moved to her waist.

I let her lead, enjoying the feel of her softness and her heat against my cold, ridged body. Then she began to move, pulling herself up. I recognized what she was doing from before and tightened my grip on her, causing her to pause. Her lips broke away from mine by mere centimeters. Her eyes fluttered open and looked at me. When she opened her mouth to speak, I could feel the warmth of her breath on my lips as the fire in my throat burned just a bit hotter.

"Please," she pleaded. I knew what she wanted and so much of me wanted to give it to her. But I didn't know if I was ready yet. "Please," she said again, "we can stop anytime you say, I promise."

I couldn't deny her. I didn't want to deny her. In silent response, I loosened the grip on her hips and felt her move to straddle me. She kept her eyes locked to mine as she lowered herself onto my lap. I guided her down, positioning her so she was on my legs and not in contact with the part of me that was being to grow due to her proximity.

Her hands moved to frame the sides of my face and the heat from her palms seared pleasantly into my skin. My love's eyes drifted closed and I leaned in to close the distance between us. Feeling her lips again on mine, her hands as they slid back to their place in my hair… Bella was surrounding me. There was no other place I wanted to be.

My hands moved up her back as hers tangled tighter in my hair. I needed her closer. I pulled her upper body toward me and sighed with pleasure as her chest touched mine. A weak moan escaped my love's lips moments before she pressed even harder into me, causing our lower bodies to come into closer contact.

I heard the gasp from Bella and froze. We were suspended in our movements. This was the first time she had felt my physical need for her. What did she think? I had to know but yet I was afraid to find out.

After several minutes Bella's eyes opened and looked at me. "Edward?"

I closed my eyes as I felt the vibration of her voice flow through me. The fire burned down my throat but all I wanted was her lips not to move from mine.

"Edward?" she said again. "Are you…okay?"

She was always concerned for me. Was she really as okay with this as she seemed to be? "Yes," I said, letting my cool breath flow over her face.

Bella's heart picked up its pace briefly and then began to find a steady rhythm once more. "Why did you stop?" she whispered.

I stared into her eyes trying to ask the question without having to voice it. Her eyes were full of their own questions though. I sighed and leaned back against the couch bringing my hands back down to her waist. "We have never been in this position before, love," I said, pausing trying to gauge her reaction before I continued. But Bella just waited patiently. With a sigh I brought my hand up to brush lightly along her cheek. "I was unsure of your reaction."

Bella looked genuinely perplexed. "My reaction to what?"

She was really going to make me say it. With a sigh a lifted my hand so I was no longer touching her face. I forced myself to look into her eyes while I spoke the words, "My reaction to being so…close to you."

Her eyes looked blankly at me for a moment and then awareness dawned but her expression wasn't what I had been expecting. But Bella never did what was expected. Instead of revulsion or even embarrassment, her eyes lit up with what looked to be… delight? The sides of her mouth curled up into a smile.

"Edward, did you think I'd be…upset?"

It was still amazing to me how this girl…this woman…was able to make me feel like a teenage boy again. I knew she was watching me and I closed my eyes trying to hide my expression but I wasn't fast enough. My love leaned her forehead against mine and whispered softly, "I love you," she took a deep breath, "the fact that you find me physically attractive is amazing, yes." My eyes opened at this and stared straight into hers. "But knowing that I affect you the way you affect me…" she sighed. "I just can't explain how happy that makes me, Edward."

There were no words for what I was feeling at the moment. My arms encircled her and pulled her to me. Burring my face in her hair, I breathed in her scent cherishing the flames. "I love you, Bella." I felt her grip tighten around my neck.

We stayed locked in each other's arms until I could hear Charlie as he made his way toward home. Separating, I turned on the television while Bella took their dinner out of the refrigerator to heat up. When her father walked in the door a few minutes later, he saw me sitting there and gave me a short hello before walking into the kitchen to find his daughter.

I remained in the living room, as always, while they ate, occupying myself in watching a concert I found on one of the stations. Just as the program was finishing, a notice flashed across the screen announcing the symphony would be playing this weekend in Seattle. Immediately I knew I wanted to take Bella.

Once the idea formed in my head, my mind began formulating a plan. We could go to the city early and make an evening of it. I could take her to a fancy dinner, something she had not permitted me to do since just after prom. My mind was full of possibilities. The concert would end late, of course, and although driving home would be no problem for me the thought of spending the night alone in a hotel with Bella was vastly appealing.

I felt my phone vibrate inside my jacket. It was Alice. "Hello Alice."

"Edward that is a wonderful idea!" her high-pitched voice squealed with excitement.

"Thank you, Alice."

Before I could get anything else out, however, my sister continued. "But you have to get Charlie to agree to the whole weekend, not just Friday."

"Alice…"

"Don't start, Edward. There is shopping to be done. You can have her Friday night and then…let's say after seven on Saturday. We'll even drive separate so you two can come back together on Sunday."

This was not what I'd planned at all. I just wanted a nice quiet evening with my fiancée. Bringing my hand up to my face, I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. "Alice, Bella isn't going to be happy. You know how she hates shopping. I don't even know if I can convince her to come with me for one night."

"I have complete confidence in you, Edward. Besides, Bella is going to be a Cullen soon, she's going to have to start learning how to act like it." I started to speak but she stopped me, "You'll think of something, don't worry," she paused. "Oh and have fun tonight," she snickered and then hung up.

Charlie entered the living room and took a seat in his chair, reaching for the remote. He barely spared me a look. In his mind he was resigned to my presence. I would need to get his approval. I didn't want to upset Charlie anymore than I must. It was bad enough I would be taking his daughter away from him forever in a few short weeks.

I cleared my throat to get his attention. He shot me a glance before sighing and setting the remote down on his knee. _What does he want now? Isn't it enough he's marring my little girl?_

I tried not to cringe at his thoughts and continued on in my mission. "There's a concert in Seattle this Friday and I wanted to take Bella."

This got Charlie's attention. "What concert?" he said curtly.

"The Seattle philharmonic," I paused to let him take this in.

_"_You want to take Bella to hear classical music?"

"Yes. However they will not only be playing classical. They will be presenting some modern compositions as well which I believe Bella will enjoy."

His mind was clearly skeptical, "You do, do you?"

I ignored his doubts. "Yes. I was thinking we could go into the city early and have dinner before the concert."

He sighed and began to turn back to his game. "I do believe I can manage my own dinner for one evening."

I couldn't help but grin at his thoughts. His mind was beginning to refocus on the game but his thoughts were baffling over what kind of eighteen year old took his girlfriend to hear classical music. Charlie had yet to call Bella my fiancée out loud and rarely did so even in his mind.

It was time. "The concert will run late. I was thinking we would stay in the city. My sister was also hoping to join us on Saturday and get in a little shopping. That could possibly run late as well, this being Alice, so I thought we could stay Saturday night as well and return on Sunday afternoon."

It took a few moments for my words to register. When they did, Charlie stiffened and very unpleasant thoughts towards me ran through his mind. He narrowed his eyes in my direction. "What do your parents say about this?" He knew his position was weak but he was trying to find any leverage he could. We were getting married in just over two weeks.

I answered him honestly. I tried not to lie to Charlie more than I must. "I haven't discussed it with them yet, although I don't foresee them having a problem." And this was my hook. "They would want us to be safe. And making a two hour drive late at night would not be the best choice."

I had him there and he knew it. He didn't like it. His mind started imagining Bella and I in a hotel room. Alone. His thoughts were beginning to make me uncomfortable. Finally he picked up the remote pointing it toward the television and fixed me with a dark glare. "You'd better take care of her."

"I will," I vowed. And I meant it. Not only for the trip to Seattle but for as long as Bella and I were together. Forever.

Chapter End Notes:

**I was going to try and give you a hint as to what's happening in the next chapter but I can't think of anything that won't give it away so sorry.**

**Don't forget to review and let me know your thoughts. **


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Chapter Notes:

**It has been so thrilling reading all of your reviews. I really do love to read and respond to them, so thank you. :)**

**Ok so I said at the end of the last chapter I really couldn't give you a preview of the next one b/c everything I could think to say would give too much away. I will say that when I wrote this chapter I referred to it as "Caught Kissing." I'll let you all think on that as you read. **

**Many of you commented on the Seattle trip in your reviews. We will get there, I promise, but it will be a while. We have quite a few more days to cover before the weekend and lots more to do. **

**Ok enough with the notes...on with the story. :)**

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

After talking with Charlie, I went to help Bella in the kitchen. I found her at the sink with her hands elbow deep in soapy water. She didn't see me at first, so I took the time to observe the way her hair brushed her face as she leaned forward. The way her brow creased in concentration as she scrubbed an offending dish.

Extracting a hand from the water, she placed the pan in a rack beside the sink. That's when she noticed me. "Hi," she whispered.

I walked up behind her, burring my face in her hair. "Hello, love."

She went back to washing the dishes. I stood behind her with my hands resting lightly on her hips. Her scent was incredible. I wanted to run my nose along her skin and inhale as deeply as I could. But I was trying to control myself. We would have time for practicing later.

That brought a smile to my face. Practicing. As much as our practice sessions caused me pain, they gave me just as much pleasure. More.

Bella set the final dish in the rack and pulled the plug to let the water out of the sink. My thumbs were absently rubbing small circles on her sides. I didn't realize what effect my small gesture was having on her until she leaned back against my chest and a soft moan escaped her lips.

I stilled for a second, unsure if I should continue. Charlie was just in the next room. Bella made the decision for me by turning to face me, pulling my head down to hers.

I felt the heat from her mouth moments before her soft lips pressed into mine. She moaned at the contact and my hands flexed where they rested on her hips. Her hands came up to find my hair, pulling me closer as she deepened the kiss.

My love. How I had missed her. Three days was too long. I wrapped my arms around her waist and let my hand trail up her back to tangle in the ends of her hair.

Bella's breath was coming faster now. So was mine. Her smell filled all my senses. It was strongest at the end of the day, just before she showered. The scent torturing me now wasn't masked by fake store bought scents. It was all Bella. My Bella.

I broke our kiss to give her some air and ran my nose down her jaw to her neck, giving in to the impulse I'd had just minutes before. I could see her pulse beating quickly beneath her skin and couldn't resist my desire to taste her. My cold tongue touched her warm fire.

A small trickle of venom joined the burn down my throat. But it was worth it. She was worth it. She tasted unbelievable. And her reaction… Her breathing sped even faster. Bella pulled at my hair, sending electric sensations down from my head to the rest of my body. Her back arched and her head tilted to give me better access. I could not love her more.

My nose brushed against the skin of her neck from ear to collarbone before starting the route again, this time with my tongue. I forced myself to go slowly, enjoying the feel of her hot skin beneath the ice of my tongue and ignoring the monster and his reactions.

Bella was gripping my shoulders now. If I had been human, her fingerprints would have stood as a memory of this moment on my skin. Her breathing… There was no other way to describe it other than panting. I wasn't doing much better though. I was breathing so quickly, so deep, that there was no relief from the fire. No brief respite between one breath and the next.

I heard movement from the other room and forced myself to stop. Bella moaned in protest, refusing to let go of me. When I tried to pull back, her hands found my hair again and she used my solid form as leverage to pull her mouth back to mine.

As much as I didn't want to be caught by Bella's father, at that moment I didn't care. I let myself sink back into the warmth of my love. Her body molded against mine and her fingers scrapped my scalp.

My arms held her until I heard a throat clearing behind me. Bella surprised me by pulling away first. She didn't go far though as she turned to face her father and grabbed my hand. "Hi dad."

I was expecting a full on blush from Bella, but there was only a light tinge of red to her cheeks as she spoke to her father. Charlie stood staring at us, his mind trying to find some kind of response. He wanted to kick me out, tell me to keep my hands off his daughter, but he knew he couldn't do that. We would be related soon.

Finally, he just grunted, went to the refrigerator to grab another drink and headed back into the living room. His thoughts were full of contempt for me, as usual. I was stealing his little girl. Nothing would change that, in his opinion. And he was right. I was stealing her. I was stealing her away from him forever in a way he could not possibly imagine.

Bella pulled me from my thoughts when she said, "Well that went better than I thought."

I looked at her as realization dawned. "You planed that. You wanted him to catch us." It wasn't a question. The answer was clear on her face.

She turned to me and placed a hand on my cheek. "Edward, I love you."

I smiled. "As I love you."

She smiled back, "But…"

"But? What's wrong, Bella?" What could she be thinking?

Her hand ran lightly along my jaw sending bolts of fire along my face. "But Charlie needs to accept that we are together," she sighed, "and that we're getting married." She stepped closer to me. I could feel the heat from her breath. "He's never going to do that if he never sees how we are together. I want him to see how much you love me."

I shook my head. She was wrong. "Bella, Charlie will never accept me." My hand came up to brush across her beautifully swollen lips. "He doesn't think I'm good enough for you and he's right."

Her face contoured in a rueful look and I knew what was coming. "Edward Cullen. Don't you dare say that. It's me that doesn't deserve you, not the other way around."

I sighed. She never saw herself clearly even after all this time. "Bella I'm going to take you away from him forever. He should hate me." I could see she was about to protest. I placed my hands on both sides of her face and leaned in. The breath of my next words waffled across her lips. "The only thing I can do is promise to love you forever; to take care of you for him; and that I will do, love. I will do everything in my power to make you happy." Closing the short distance between us, I placed a chaste kiss on her lips, sealing my words.

At ten o'clock I said my goodbyes and headed back to my house, promising Bella I would return around midnight. When I arrived, the house was full of activity. As soon as Alice saw me she changed directions and skidded to a stop only two feet in front of me.

"You're back. I thought you'd be staying with Bella tonight."

I smiled and reached out a hand to ruffle her hair, but she ducked. "I am. I just came home for a couple of hours to let everyone know I'm still alive."

She stuck out her tongue at me. "Very funny, Edward."

The sound of my laughter brought Esme down from her room. She moved quickly to embrace me. "Oh honey, welcome home. How's Bella?"

I returned the embrace. "She's good."

She smiled. "I'm glad. She was missing you this weekend."

It was then I realized we had never talked of our weekend apart as we usually did. Our day had been spent cuddling on her couch. There hadn't been a lot of talking. There had not been a need. We'd both missed each other and only wanted to enjoy the other's presence once again.

Obviously she'd spent some time while I was away with my family. I was glad of that. At least she had not been alone.

"I missed her as well."

Esme patted my cheek. "I know you did, dear."

There was concern on both her face and in her mind. I realized Carlisle must have told her about my running off. "I'm fine."

She gave my cheek a final pat, "Of course you are, Edward…"

Jasper and Emmett came barreling into the room next and I had not even made it to the stairs. "Edward!" Emmett shouted when he saw me.

"Hi, Emmett, Jasper."

The smile on Emmett's face was telling, even if I couldn't read his thoughts. "Feeling better now? Was Bella able to lift your spirits?"

The sexual undertones he was sending were embarrassing. I knew exactly what he was asking and I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. "Bella is well and I do feel much better with her near."

He knew I was being deliberately obtuse and tried again. "Did you get any practice time in, little brother? You're running out of time before the wedding you know."

_I didn't say anything, Edward, and I won't. _Came Jasper's thoughts. I appreciated his discretion on what he was willing to do for me.

I refused to get into a battle of sexual comments with Emmett. Turning to the stairs once again, I began to leave. I heard in his thoughts. He was about to try again. "I'll be ready for my wedding, Emmett. Don't worry."

I spent the next hour and a half up in my room listening to music and thinking over the things I wanted to try with Bella tonight. She had earnestly not minded feeling my arousal for her today. Although it was still a strange concept for me, I was happy. And scared. And even more aroused all at the same time.

We needed to talk about some things, but tonight I just wanted to be with her. I did want to bring up Seattle though. I was hoping she would be as thrilled about it as I was. I wanted to spoil her a bit and share my passion of music with her. Then of course there was the hotel.

Before I could forget, I pulled out my cell and made reservations for our weekend. First I called and secured tickets to the symphony, dinner was next and finally the hotel. I chose to take her somewhere downtown so we would not have to go far after the concert.

I glanced briefly at the clock on the bedside table before getting up to shower and change. I didn't plan on leaving her tonight.

As I stepped into the shower and let the warm water flow over my body, I let my mind drift again to Bella. I wondered what it would be like to take a shower with her once she was my wife. Would she want that? I thought about it for a minute and decided she would. She seemed to like my body as much as I enjoyed hers. The thought of being able to see her completely sent shivers through my body and I felt myself react.

What would her body look like as the shower streamed over her skin? I had let my mind wonder as I'd waited for her to take her showers in the past but had always stopped myself before things got out of hand. But before I had not been considering the very real possibility Bella would be my wife. I would be able to show her my love physically. My mind came back to reality quickly as I both felt and heard the tile beneath my hand cracking.

Forcing my hand away from the wall, I closed my eyes and banished the thoughts from them. This is exactly why I needed Jasper's help. Just the thought of her so close to me and the possibility of our physical love was sending my strength out of control.

I turned the water off and quickly got dressed. Locating Jasper in my thoughts, I made my way to he and Alice's room. He was sitting on the bed with Alice's head in his lap. Her eyes were closed but she greeted me as soon as I entered the room.

I looked straight at Jasper. "Tomorrow night?" I asked.

His hand never stopped its movement in Alice's hair. He just nodded. _Find me when you're ready. _

Chapter End Notes:

**Next chapter....Bella and Edward 'talk' and more practicing. :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**All I will say going into this chapter is that things don't always go according to plan. **

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

When I reached Bella's house, her window was open for me as usual but I also noticed her light was on. That was not usual. It was just after midnight and she would typically be in bed. I paused, checking to verify Charlie was asleep. He was.

With a small leap, I reached her window and hopped inside. Bella was reading but her head snapped up as she registered my movement. "Hi," she said.

"Hello, love."

Her brow furrowed a bit at my endearment, which worried me. I walked to the bed, sitting down facing her as she closed her book. She looked away from me and lay her copy of Pride and Prejudice on her nightstand before turning to face me again. Crossing her arms she leaned back against her headboard.

She seemed to be waiting. "Bella?"

Her eyebrow rose in question. I was confused. What was wrong? What could have happened in the last two hours since I had seen her?

She must have seen the confusion on my face because hers softened just slightly. "Do you have something you'd like to tell me?" she asked.

It took me only half a second to realize what had happened. Charlie. Charlie had told her about this weekend. "I was going to tell you about Seattle tonight, Bella. I know you hate surprises."

She uncrossed her arms but still did not look happy. "Edward, even if I forget the fact you made plans for us without talking to me first, you know how I feel about you spending money on me."

Charlie. He did this on purpose. He had to have known how she would take this. I wanted to be mad at him but I couldn't. Charlie didn't think I was good enough for Bella and he was willing to do all he could to show her why I wasn't before, in his view, it was too late.

I tried to reach out for her, but she pulled back. She knew if she allowed me close to her her resolve would dwindle much quicker. Without being able to touch her, to dazzle her as she called it, this would be much more difficult.

Reaching up with my right hand, I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath inhaling the rich scent of my love that permeated the room. Resting my hand back on the bed, beside her leg I began. "I was watching a program while you and your father had dinner. There was a notice at the end that the Seattle Philharmonic would be playing this weekend. I wanted to take you. Share something I love with you."

Bella's resolve was weakening. I could see it. I continued. "Then I began thinking about how late the concert would end." I searched her eyes and held them as I continued. "After last weekend, the thought of being able to stay the night alone in Seattle with you sounded very appealing." I paused and looked down at my lap. Maybe I'd been presumptuous. Maybe Bella didn't think it was a good idea for us to be alone in a hotel room together.

I glanced back up at her trying to gage her reaction. Her head was slightly tilted and she was staring intently at my face. Her voice was soft when she spoke. "Where you really going to tell me?"

"Yes," I said, with no hesitation. "And if you don't think it's a good idea for us to be alone for that long so close to the wedding I will understand. I shouldn't have…"

Bella's finger pressed against my lips. I stopped speaking. She leaned forward so are faces were only a foot apart, watching me closely. "Edward, I do _not_ have a problem spending the night alone with you in a hotel." The side of her mouth tilted up in a small smile. "That part of your plan I like." She paused and pulled back a little again. I didn't like that. I liked her close but knew better than to reach for her yet.

She was quiet for too long. I needed to know what she was thinking. "Bella tell me what you are thinking, please."

Her eyes refocused on me. "Were you planning on taking me to dinner?"

I answered honestly. "Yes."

"I see," she paused thinking. "And exactly how much is that going to cost?"

I was beginning to become a little irritated with her. I wanted this to be nice for her, for us. "I don't know." I took a deep breath before I continued trying to stay my temper. "And I don't care about the cost."

Bella moved even farther away from me. My hands were itching at this point. She looked at me squarely. "I know you don't care, Edward, but I do. You know how I feel about this."

Finally I lost my temper. I tried to keep it under control as best I could, I didn't want to scare her but… "Bella…" I paused. I couldn't raise my voice or I would wake Charlie. I took another deep breath. "Bella I have already told you that as my wife, what's mine is yours. I want to do something nice for you, for us. I want to take you out to a nice dinner while you can still enjoy it. I want to bring you to hear the symphony so I can share my passion of music with you." I stopped for a moment and looked at Bella. She was staring at me with a shocked expression. I didn't appear to be scaring her though, which gave me heart. I leaned forward so my face was only inches from hers. "I want to spend the night alone with you somewhere were we don't have to worry if someone is going to walk in and disturb us."

She didn't answer just bit her lower lip. My eyes traveled to her lips. I wanted to close the distance between us. I wanted to feel her warmth against me again.

Bella moved and broke the spell. I pulled back a little but stayed close. "And Alice?" she asked.

My lips couldn't help but pull into a small smile. "Alice." It was all I needed to say. She gave me a small smile back.

Glancing down, her hands tangled nervously in her lap. "We would really have two nights alone together?" she asked.

"Yes." I paused thinking of something else. "What did Charlie say to you?"

Bella leaned back against the headboard and closed her eyes. "He said you were going to whisk me off on some grand weekend in Seattle," she smiled to herself. "He also said a few other things about you and me and how we shouldn't be alone in a hotel but nothing he could do about it he supposed."

"Bella…" I said softly.

Her eyes looked up at me pleadingly. "You really were going to tell me tonight?"

"Yes," I paused. "I was planning on telling you tonight. There wasn't time earlier or I would have told you then." I paused again, this time reaching out to touch her face. "I am sorry for upsetting you. It was never my intention, love."

Her face softened as she leaned into my hand and sighed. "I suppose I could survive you spending a little money on me." But then her eyes opened and she gave me a pointed stare. "But not too much money. Okay?"

I didn't answer. I had already booked the hotel and purchased the tickets. Instead, I made a note to myself to change the restaurant to something less than the five star one I had chosen and leaned in to place my lips against hers.

She didn't resist and leaned into me, wrapping her arms around my neck. Placing my hands at her waist, I lifted her slightly and laid her down. Our lips never parted as we changed position. Her mouth moved against mine, sending warm shockwaves through my system.

So glad at this moment I didn't need to breathe, my lips moved from hers to her jaw. My nose brushed the skin of her neck as I placed a soft kiss just behind her ear. She gasped and tugged harder at my hair. Her heart was beating rapidly. "I missed you this weekend," I whispered, my cold breath causing goose bumps on her flesh.

"So did I," she panted heavily.

She brought her hands to my face and applied pressure, letting me know she wanted my lips on hers again. There would be no protest from me. I felt and heard the rumble of pleasure through her body the moment our mouths touched again.

My love's hands left my hair and moved to my shoulders causing me a moment's pause. I wondered for a spilt second if she would push me away. Instead, her hands came between us and she ran them down my chest. Even with my shirt on it felt wonderful. Her touch was soft, yet urgent at the same time. The track her hands were on kept them from going near my stomach…or lower.

Her fingers felt amazing and my mind began to wonder what it would feel like to have them touch me without the barrier of clothes. The knowledge that my imagination was never as good as the real thing with Bella sent both my mind and body into a frenzy and I felt my muscles begin to coil.

Bella must have felt it too. Her hands paused their motion. My lips were grazing her neck and I was panting hard. My hand reached out to grip the comforter on her bed as I tried to control my thoughts. I wanted her to touch me. I wanted to feel her fingers on my skin. Feel the heat of her coursing through every part of my body.

I needed to focus. I needed to calm my breathing. I focused on the one thing that always centered me. Her heart.

It was still beating faster than normal but with each steady beat it calmed me. I took a deep breath at Bella's pulse point and inhaled. A blaze of fire shot to my belly.

"Edward?"

I realized then that it wasn't the first time Bella had called my name. I took another deep breath, letting her scent fill me once again. "I'm alright."

She was holding herself still. "Are you sure?" she whispered.

"Yes," I said and placed a kiss on the same pulse point. "Yes, love. I'm fine."

I rolled next to her. She lay still for a minute giving me time. I looked over to her and reached out, letting her know it was okay. Moving quickly, she laid her head on my chest.

"I'm sorry. Did I do something wrong?"

I placed a kiss on her hair. "No, Bella. You didn't do anything wrong," I sighed. This appeared to be the perfect time to talk. "You did something right actually."

She started to raise her head and then relaxed back against me. "I did?"

"Yes," I said. "We discussed pushing my limits, practicing."

"But…" she began, raising herself up to look at me.

I placed my finger under her chin and held her eyes with mine. "But nothing, love," I pulsed. "Bella, if we are to have any hope of success then we have to push my limits." Sliding my hand up to push her hair back behind her ear, "That means I'm going be struggling at times when we are close."

"I don't want to cause you pain," she said with clear pain of her own in her eyes.

"Love, you give me much more pleasure than pain." Placing a kiss on her nose, I urged her to lie back down.

My hand began tracing small circular patterns on her arm. "Bella love, I know you want to touch me. And I want to touch you. We are just going to have to take things slow." I couldn't help but smile. "But that's what practice is for."

I felt her smile in return. "I like practice."

A laugh rumbled deep in my chest and I buried my nose in her hair. "As do I, love."

Reaching over, I turned out the light and wrapped the blanket around her. She snuggled closer. "Good night, Edward."

"Good night, my Bella."

Chapter End Notes:

**I know a few of you have checked out the one shot I wrote, _Goodbye_, for the Make It Count Contest. Voting started today. Here is the link to the contest along with all the voting info. **

**.net/community/Make_it_Count_Contest/67311**

**Check it out and if you like it, vote! :) **

**Next chapter...Bella and Edward take a little trip. (And no we are not at Seattle yet.) :)**


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Chapter Notes:

**I want to thank you all for being so supportive of this story. I'm having a lot of fun writing it. **

**I've had a few questions in the reviews for the last chapter that I want to answer here for everyone. First, you haven't missed Jasper. He is coming up in the next chapter and it will not be a one time deal. As with everything else, Edward has to take things slowly and build his tolerance. Second...Seattle is coming but it will be several chapters yet. Again, Edward has some practicing to do before we get there. **

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

The first rays of daylight were appearing on the horizon when I heard Charlie start to move around. He followed his normal routine while getting ready and began to head downstairs. After the first step he paused and turned around.

I only had seconds to remove myself from Bella's embrace and hide under her bed. Without the aid of my vampire speed I would not have made it out of sight before Charlie opened Bella's door.

Motionless, I lay beneath her. Charlie walked to stand beside Bella's sleeping form. I could see from his thoughts that she was lying half on her stomach with her arm outstretched over the space where I had been only moments before.

Charlie just stood watching her. His thoughts were filled with love and sadness. Somehow he knew I was taking her from him and not just in the normal way that occurs when one's child marries. Bella was very perceptive and I'd learned she inherited that trait from her father. My love was much more direct than her father with her perceptions, but that didn't make Charlie's less. He was just subtle about it.

Finally, he turned back toward the hall and shut her door once more. I waited until he was downstairs before moving to the rocking chair. I spent the next few hours watching my love sleep. After all this time I was still fascinated.

Both Bella and I were ready to get out of the house for the day. Since going to my home was still not an option according to Bella, I convinced her to spend the day in Port Angeles. I'd checked with Alice and it would be overcast the entire day, giving us the perfect opportunity to be out together.

Bella's bleeding was lessening so I was hoping a trip to my house tomorrow would be possible. Alice was getting restless. The fact she was going to spend all day Saturday with Bella seemed to make no difference.

We arrived in Port Angeles just before noon. I found a place to park only a block from the new bookstore. Bella was so excited; she was out of the car before I could reach her. I gave her a slightly disapproving look and she smiled sheepishly back. "Sorry," she said biting her lip.

I sighed. "Shall we go find some books?"

Her smile was radiant. "Yes, please."

I loved her excitement and entwined my fingers with hers giving them a small squeeze. She didn't waist any time as she pulled on my arm leading us to the bookstore.

A bell rang as we entered. The shopkeeper looked up and smiled. I'm not sure Bella even acknowledged his presence as she headed toward the stacks.

She released my hand and began pulling books from the shelf one by one, reading the backs of each. We were there for almost an hour before she turned to me and blushed. "Sorry."

I came up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and burring my face in her hair. "Why are you sorry, love?"

Her checks flamed redder as her blush deepened. "I got distracted. It's been a while since I've been to a bookstore. I didn't mean to ignore you," she said, turning in my arms.

She held her latest perusal in her hands between us. I brushed a dark curl behind her ear and placed a soft kiss on her still flushed forehead. "I like when you're distracted," I whispered. "And I never tire of watching you, Bella. Your entire being lights up when you find a book that interests you."

My fingers continued to brush the side of her face. "I would stand forever in this one spot if it meant it would be you I'd see."

Her heartbeat pulsed faster and her body leaned into me. Her breathing deepened as our eyes held each other's gaze. Bella's lips parted just enough to release a rush of her intoxicating scent to my nostrils.

My hand cupped her chin, angling it up. Her eyes drifted closed in anticipation. Cold, hard lips, met soft, warm ones. It was supposed to be a chaste kiss, a simple show of affection between us, but it was not meant to be. We had too much emotion flowing to allow for something so simple.

Bella's hands released their hold on the book and wrapped around my neck, pulling me closer to her. I tightened my own hold on her and decided to test my newly learned knowledge from the day before. From her chin, I brushed my fingertips along her jaw and slid my hand into her hair at the base of her neck. With this simple move, Bella pressed against me.

With that encouragement I began slowly running my fingers lightly along her scalp, just as I had yesterday, slowly increasing the pressure. I felt Bella's body react. First her breathing accelerated. I could feel the hot puffs against my cheek, then her heartbeat. If I wasn't so used to her reactions, I would have been concerned. Instead I was elated.

Bella pushed herself closer, molding her body to mine. I could feel every inch of her, as I knew she could of me. And I could smell the beginnings of her arousal. I knew we needed to stop. We were in the middle of a bookstore!

She shifted against me and the beginning of my need for her began to make itself known. A deep moan escaped her throat and I knew we had to stop. I had to stop this.

With the hard earned discipline of the last year and a half I stepped back, holding her at arms length. We were both panting, trying to regain our composure. "Maybe you should continue looking," I said, my breathing still not completely normal. "I'll wait for you in the coffee shop."

She gave me a slight nod, her face flushed, and I headed toward the tiny area in the back of the store where they sold a small assortment of coffee and pastries. I ordered a coffee and sat down at a table to wait.

There weren't many other people in the store, five others besides Bella and myself. I watched a little girl and her mother make their way up to the counter to check out. The girl was trying to remember details of the book she had in her hand. The woman was running through the list of things she still had to do today.

She looked nothing like Bella. The woman was four inches taller with sandy blond hair and blue eyes. Seeing her with her the little girl, who was clearly her daughter, sent a pang of guilt washing through me. I forced it away. This was Bella's choice.

Closing my eyes I found another mind nearby to focus on. This one was skimming one of the new romance books. I chuckled to myself as the woman began attempting to picture the man described in her head trying to gage if she found him appealing. I moved on.

The bell rang again as two more patrons entered. It was two males this time. One took a turn toward the magazine rack, the other for the books. Both seemed to have a single minded purpose.

I was about to move on when the one who had headed into the books changed his focus. To Bella. I saw her in his mind. She hadn't noticed him yet. He was behind her. Moving so he could see her in profile, his thoughts turned to ways he could approach her.

Leaving my untouched coffee, I quickly stood. Weaving through the shelves as quickly as I could while remaining at a human pace, I found Bella. The boy was only a few feet away from her when I rounded the corner and moving closer. I brushed past him, purposefully bumping into him lightly. "Sorry," I mumbled.

Bella heard my voice, looked up and smiled. I gave her a full smile back in response. "It's getting late, love," I said, coming to stand beside her and pulling her against my side. "I thought we could get something to eat before we head home."

She looked at me with a bit of suspicion in her eyes. The man behind me shifted his weight and she finally noticed him. When she looked at me again, it was with a knowing smile. "Sure," she said, still amused. "Let me just pay for these and we can go."

Walking toward the registers I stayed close to her side. The boy's thoughts were one of disappointment. That's right; mine.

I didn't realize the wickedness of the smile on my face until the store clerk jumped slightly when we approached the counter. Forcing myself to cover my teeth, I waited silently while she paid.

We stopped at a small diner on the edge of town so Bella could have a late lunch. She told me about the books she'd bought. The variety she enjoyed amazed me. She'd managed to pick a mystery, a classic, a romance, and even a biography.

After finishing with her burger and fries and a bit of pouting when I insisted on paying for her meal, we headed back to Forks. It was still early and not being in a hurry I maintained a slower speed, keeping the odometer just under one hundred.

Bella was still excited about her purchases. Books stacked in her lap, she flipped through the pages. The new book smell added to the variety of scents already in the car.

Suddenly she closed her book and turned to look at me.

"What?" I asked.

Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I was about to repeat the question when she reached out and laid a hand on my arm. "I never asked how your weekend went. I'm sorry."

I chuckled. "Neither did I, Bella. It's okay though." I reached for her hand and brought it up to my lips, placing a kiss on her palm. "My weekend was fine. I missed you though."

She smiled. "Me too."

I didn't release her though. Instead I brought both our hands down to rest between us, sliding my fingers in between hers. "Did you have fun with Alice then?"

Bella groaned and laid her head back on the seat. I laughed. It didn't take a mind reader to know their time together had been filled with wedding details. "Only two more weeks, love."

She groaned again. "Not helping."

I just smiled and gave her hand a squeeze.

Charlie was just getting home when we arrived at Bella's house. "Hi, Bells."

"Hi, dad," she said as we made our way to the door.

"Edward," Charlie acknowledged.

"Good evening, Charlie."

Charlie wanted to order pizza but Bella insisted there were enough leftovers. In fifteen minutes she had dinner on the table and I disappeared into the living room to wait. Turning the television on I flipped through several channels before deciding there wasn't anything worth watching.

Bella was sharing our day with Charlie so I sat back to listen. I had been there with her, so I didn't feel so bad about eavesdropping. Her father listened attentively as she gave the highlights of our day together. Since the announcement of our engagement, Charlie had taken a more active interest in Bella's daily accounts.

At the end of dinner, Charlie took his seat in the living room and scrolled through the channels until he located the game he was looking for. I excused myself and went to the kitchen to find Bella. Charlie's eyes followed me into the kitchen, his mind remembering the position he'd caught us in just the night before.

Bella was still clearing the table as I entered. Seeing me, she smiled. I helped her finish removing the dishes and placed them on the counter for her. I stood a couple of feet away as she washed. I'd offered to help her in the past, but she insisted I was too much of a distraction for her and at that rate the dishes would never get done.

I waited until she finished the last dish and the water was flowing quickly down the drain. She wiped her hands and looked at the clock. It was only seven thirty. I took her hands in mine and pulled her closer to me. There was still some distance between us, but I could feel her heat. "I will need to leave a little early tonight. I am going out with Jasper for a bit but I will be back before you wake in the morning," I said softly so Charlie couldn't hear.

The look of disappointment on her face was clear. "When do you have to go?"

"We have another hour yet. Is there something you would like to do?"

"How about a walk?"

I smiled. "Sure."

Bella told her father where we were going. Charlie's response was his usual, "Okay, Bells. Be careful."

We came around the back of the house and started down the old path. I could tell she was thinking by the way her brow was furrowed. I waited for as long as I could, which I admit wasn't long. "What are you thinking?"

She glanced up at me and then down to the ground. We were holding hands as we walked, but she pulled hers from me and crossed her arms protectively across her chest. Taking a deep breath she looked straight ahead. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to but…" she paused. "but why are you going out with Jasper tonight when you both just got back from hunting this weekend?"

She stopped but still didn't face me. "Your not thirsty," she said in a quieter tone.

I placed my hands on her shoulders and turned her to face me. "Bella. You can ask me anything." It was my turn to pause. I sighed and reminded myself she had a right to know what I was doing. This affected her too. "Jasper has agreed to help me."

The look of confusion was clear. I closed my eyes as the next words left my mouth. "He is going to help me with his gift. Help me prepare for our night together so I won't be overwhelmed by feelings I've never experienced before."

Bella was silent for a few minutes as what I said registered. Her eyes opened as I watched her. At last her face rose and she searched my features as if seeking confirmation of her thoughts. She must have found it. "Oh," she said. "So he's…he's going to make you feel like your…we're…"

She was clearly as uncomfortable with this conversation as I.

"Yes," I sighed.

Bella didn't say anything else for the rest of our walk. We emerged from the woods just before nine o'clock and she walked me toward my Volvo. I placed my hands on the side of her face so that I could look into eyes. "Bella. If you're not okay with this, I will not go through with it."

She shook her head. "No, it's…it's alright. I just…I never thought…" her voice trailed off.

"Bella…"

Her shoulders straightened and her face showed resolve. "Edward, if it will help you then you should do it," her voice softened. "I know this is hard for you and if something can make it less difficult then…"

I nodded and leaned down to place a chaste kiss on her lips. "I love you, Bella. I'll be back before morning."

Stepping back I got into my Volvo. She remained outside the house while I drove away. Now it was time to face my next challenge and I had no idea if I could.

Chapter End Notes:

**Hopefully you enjoyed their little day trip. **


	20. Chapter 20

Author's Chapter Notes:

**Well here you go. The long awaited 'Jasper' chapter. **

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

I pulled up to my house minutes after I'd left Bella. Saying I was anxious about tonight's 'practice' with Jasper would be putting it mildly. I had no idea what to expect. And after my reactions to just my thoughts and feelings about Bella this past weekend, my fear of losing control was a very real possibility. I tried to take comfort in the fact that this was Jasper, that Bella would be nowhere near me during this.

Making my way into the house, I headed into the living room where I located Jasper and Emmett playing a video game. Emmett looked up briefly, "Want an opportunity for me to kick your butt, Edward?" he smirked.

I forced myself to relax and answer him casually. "Maybe later."

I seriously doubted I'd be in any condition in a few hours to play something as civilized as a video game. The controller might not survive. With that aside, however, I had promised my love I'd be back before she woke.

Jasper glanced up and caught my eyes. _I'll meet you out back in ten minutes._

Giving him a short nod, I headed upstair_s. _I made a quick phone call to change our dinner reservations for Friday night and then selected one of my favorite CDs. The soft, gentle melody calmed me as I lay back on my bed. Her scent was here and I let it flow through my senses as the music took over.

Before long I heard movement out back and knew Jasper was waiting for me. Turning off the music, I opened my window and jumped out onto the moistened soil. It had only misted today but the ground here never seemed to completely dry.

He gave me a quick nod but we didn't speak. We just started running.

As we ran, my mind naturally flowed to Bella. It wasn't even ten yet and I wondered if she would already be up in her room. I wouldn't be coming tonight so she would probably go to sleep early. I smiled. It was too bad I'd miss her talking tonight. After our time today I would love to have heard what her subconscious had in store for her.

Bella had not been outraged in the least by my clear need for her over the last couple of days. I don't know why exactly I'd worried about her reaction to that part of me, but I had. Bella had no brothers and I had no idea if she has seen what a man looks like before. Well I did know she'd at least seen pictures in school, but in person I didn't know.

For me, it would be a first…sort of. I had seen pictures over the years in every form. And of course there were the glimpses I'd gotten through my gift, although I tried very hard no to pay attention to those. I'd also seen a cadaver many years ago naked but her legs were closed. We were studying the digestive system and it's organs so other than a quick glace over the entire body I'd not paid much attention. I knew seeing Bella, really seeing Bella, would be very different.

Jasper and I ran for almost thirty minutes before stopping in a small clearing. _Is this ok? _He asked me. I scanned to see if I could hear any thoughts besides our own but there was nothing. I nodded and we both took a seat on a fallen tree.

Neither of us moved for several minutes. This was very awkward. For both of us. "Thank you for agreeing to do this, Jasper."

He gave me a nervous smile but didn't say anything immediately. I could tell he was trying to gather his thoughts and center his emotions. At last he spoke. "Why don't we start with something simple?"

Jasper moved to stand a few feet away from me. I raised my eyebrow in question. "What did you have in mind?"

"Did you and Bella have any sexual contact recently?"

I shifted nervously but answered him honestly. "Yes."

He smiled a knowing smile that only a brother would. "Good. Okay, now close your eyes and think of that time. Relive it. Let your emotions flow freely."

I did as he asked. I choose to remember yesterday and our time on her couch. It was perhaps the closest sexual encounter we'd had. I remembered feeling Bella's lips connected to mine, her softness, her warmth. How she leaned into me and lifted herself onto my lap. The feel of her curves molding to my hands. I could feel every muscle as it moved, every bone.

As I remembered her hands tangling in my hair, my breathing picked up slightly. I was still in complete control and enjoying reliving this moment. Each time a whimper of pleasure crossed her lips, the pace of my breathing increased.

Then the moment she'd moved, pressing herself fully against me was remembered with all of the emotions that had gone with it. "What just happened, Edward?"

Jasper's voice broke through my concentration. Confusion was in both his mind and on his face. "That's where it stopped." Feeling I needed to clarify, "We stopped."

His head tilted to the side in thought. "Why did you stop? It didn't feel like you were losing control."

I shook my head. "No. I wasn't," I pulsed. "There were…other reasons."

He looked at me again and then must have decided he didn't want to know. "Okay. Let's try a different approach." He looked as uncomfortable as I felt. "How far have you and Bella…" he made a motion with his hand.

I felt an instinctual growl of protectiveness brewing deep in my chest and suppressed it. Jasper was trying to help me. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose as I forced the words out of my mouth. "Kissing mostly," I pulsed. "And some touching."

Jasper's voice grew very serious. "Edward, are you going to be able to do this? I mean the wedding is in two weeks."

I looked at him in desperation. "I have no idea, Jasper, but I promised her we would try and I will do everything in my power to make that happen. "

He picked up on the determination flowing through my body and nodded. "Let's get back to it then." Even with that comment we both remained where we were not speaking or moving for several long minutes. "What would you like to try next with her?"

I thought about it and remembered her dream and then again last night. She wanted to touch me. He must have seen the emotions of both pain and pleasure flow through me. "Okay good. Let's go with that. Imagine whatever your thinking about and I will gradually intensify the emotions, okay?"

Nodding assent, I closed my eyes and began to imagine Bella and I lying in her bed. I'm on my back and she is hovering over me. Knowing I needed to make this as real as possible, I added the memories of her scent and heartbeat.

Bella leaned in to press her lips to mine. It was a soft kiss, a simple one, but it sent waves of pleasure through to my toes. Her mouth leaving my lips, she ran small kisses down my cold jaw as I'd done to her many times before and continued on a path down my neck to my collarbone. My arms wrapped around her as she shifted lower and her hands began to move. They rubbed up and down my torso through the material of my shirt several times before her fingers found the hem and became pulling it upward.

The anticipation of her touching me without the barrier of clothes sent a spark of excitement through me. And even though I knew it was all in my mind, my body reacted just the same. I knew I should be embarrassed with Jasper here and a part of me was but I pushed it aside. This was for Bella.

I imagined what it would feel like for her fingers to touch my flesh. Would she touch me softly or with more pressure? The not knowing was almost more exciting. I wanted to find out.

It was then I felt Jasper's influence. He was heightening my emotions, my reactions. He was trying to push me. I tried to ignore him so I could concentrate on this wonderful fantasy I was having.

Her hands brushed, first softly and then with more force, up and then back down again on my cold skin. Warm hands caressed my body causing ripples of pleasure to flow through me. I pulled her tighter wanting to feel not just her hands but also her body against mine. We'd never been this close and the desire was overwhelming.

Tangling my hand in her hair, I pulled her lips to mine. I kissed her with all the force I could, all the while trying to control the intensity of what was flowing through me. With my other hand on her hip I pressed her against my erection wanting her to feel my need for her now that I knew it was okay.

Hands and fingers continued to stroke my chest as I pulled her closer, held her tighter, kissed her with more passion. My breathing was erratic. I could hear it echoing through the forest but my focus stayed on Bella. I needed her. I wanted her. I couldn't get her close enough.

A crunching sound brought me back to reality as I looked down and saw a hole in the tree I was sitting on and a ball of what used to be tree in my fist. Jasper tried to send a calming wave though me but it was still tinged with arousal. I looked up and he was breathing just as hard as I was. This was as difficult for him as it was for me. He was feeling everything I was feeling, everything he was intensifying for me he was experiencing himself.

I opened my fist and released what was left of the broken tree. Dropping my head to my knees, remorse filled me. Jasper closed the distance and sat beside me. We were quiet for a long time.

The animals began to stir from their night's sleep and I knew it was time we were heading home. Before we could go, however, I wanted to make sure Jasper was still alright with helping me. This had been intense and I hadn't even begun to imagine Bella and I actually being together intimately yet. "Jasper, I know this is hard for you. Don't feel like you have to do this for me. I mean, I know Alice…"

"Edward, I'm not doing this for Alice."

This took me by surprise. "What do you mean your not doing this for Alice? Who…"

"I'm doing this for you. You and Bella. It's the least I can do."

And then I saw it in his thoughts. He was remembering Bella's birthday. "Jasper you know we've both forgiven you for that." After all, what I'd done had been much worse.

"I know that. And I'm grateful. But that doesn't change the fact that I can do something to help you both that no one else can," he pulsed. Standing up, he turned to face me. "I want to do this for you. Let me do this for you."

I nodded my agreement. "We should be heading back."

"Got a hot date?" he smirked, trying to break the tension that still flowed through both of us.

I gave him what I hoped was a light punch in the arm but it was packed with more force than I'd anticipated. "Yea I do."

He lurched to return the gesture but I'd seen it in his mind a fraction of a second before he reacted and jumped out of the way. Not giving him the opportunity to try again, I took off toward home trying to release the energy encompassing my entire body as I ran.

Chapter End Notes:

**Yes, Jasper will be making a few more appearances helping Edward in later chapters but not the next one. :)**


	21. Chapter 21

Author's Chapter Notes:

**I got a lot of sighs of relief in the reviews from last chapter. See I told you all to trust me. :) **

**A few of you had mentioned we hadn't heard much from Rose and you're right but she is going to be making her presence known in this chapter. I'm hoping this will begin to explain the change in behavior we all saw in Rose at the wedding when she helped Alice get Bella ready. **

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Edward, unfortunately.

About a mile from the house Alice came through the trees. She paid me no attention as she went straight for her husband. They linked hands without a word and disappeared back into the forest. I knew where they were going and what they were going to do. I didn't begrudge them of their ability to find release together; I only hoped one day I would be able to do the same with Bella.

With Jasper no longer with me, I pushed myself into a faster run. I finally felt the tension easing from my muscles as I neared her house.

I stopped at the edge of the clearing that made up her backyard. The sun was beginning to rise and Charlie was already up and moving around downstairs. I would wait until he left. I only hoped Bella would stay asleep until I was able to join her.

Listening, I could hear her heartbeat, her steady breathing. She was still asleep. I sat down, leaning against the trunk of a nearby Oak and listened to the sounds of her life. Slowly the remaining tension from tonight's practice with Jasper dissolved.

Twenty-nine minutes later, Charlie left the house and got into his cruiser. As soon as he rounded the corner, I sped across the lawn and jumped into her window. My feet hit the floor and I looked over to see the first fluttering of her eyes. I had made it in time.

Walking to the side of her bed, I watched her eyes open fully. Her smile at seeing me filled me with such joy. "Good morning, love," I smiled back.

She reached for me, pulling herself up. Her mouth made hard contact with mine. I tried to pull back a little so as not to hurt her, but she grabbed my hair and held tight.

I sat still as stone and eventually she removed her mouth from mine and brought her hands to rest on my shoulders. My fingers twitched as all the passion I'd just purged from my system threatened to take hold again.

Then she hugged me, burrowing her face in my neck. Her warm breathe brushing against my cold skin. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close to me. "Morning," she whispered.

I rubbed circles on her back with my right hand careful to keep them light. "Is everything alright, Bella? Not that I mind the wonderful greeting but…"

I felt her nod her head. She placed a kiss just below my ear and my eyes closed at the feeling of her lips. "How'd it go with Jasper?"

The motion of my hand stopped briefly and then started again. "It was…interesting."

She nodded again. "Did it help?"

I didn't pulse this time, "I think it will, yes, given time."

Her head rose at this and she looked in my eyes. "So does that mean you are going to be spending all your nights with Jasper? "

I saw the sadness in her eyes and I hated that I was the one to put it there. "Not every night but a lot of them, yes."

"Oh," she said softly. Her hand slid back into my hair and began massaging my scalp. I don't think she realized she was doing it. She was thinking. I could see the thoughts moving behind her eyes. Abruptly her hand stopped its motion and her shoulders squared. "If it helps, then it will be worth it, right?"

"Yes," I said. "If it helps me be able to love you as I wish, then it will be worth it."

She nodded and then hugged me again. "I missed you last night."

"So did I."

We held each other for a long while before finally going downstairs and getting Bella something to eat. With breakfast finished and her bleeding stopped, we agreed to go to my house today. She ran upstairs to her room, saying she needed to get something.

Coming down the stairs I noticed an old book in her hands. As she moved closer I caught Carlisle's scent and knew immediately what it was. She'd been meeting with him to discuss her change for the last few months. In some ways it unnerved me. I didn't like to think about the fact I would be taking her life from her soon. In other ways I was glad she had Carlisle to help her prepare.

All of us, with the exception of Alice and Jasper, had been lucky enough to have Carlisle to help with that first year of the change. None of us, however, had had the opportunity to prepare before hand for both the physical and mental aspects of becoming a vampire. Bella would have something more and I knew Carlisle was the best one of us to show her, teach her. I couldn't fault that either.

"Okay, I'm ready," she said, slipping on her raincoat. It wasn't raining hard right now, but in Forks that could always change. We got into my car and headed to the house.

As usual, Alice was waiting for us. "Bella!" she nearly screamed as she threw her arms around Bella.

My love returned the hug. "Hello, Alice," she laughed.

"Oh Bella, I missed you," she said as we began walking into the house. "You just can't stay away like that. There's just too much to do."

With that, my sister and my fiancée disappeared up the steps. _You can have her back in an hour, Edward. I have things that must be done and we're running out of time._

I just shook my head at my sister and headed to the living room where I could hear Emmett. I wonder if he would still be up for that game now?

I didn't make it that far though. As I rounded the corner, there Rosalie stood glaring at me with her arms folded. _I want to talk to you._

This was not going to be good but I knew better than to put it off. When Rosalie had something to say, she would get it out one way or another. It was best to let her do it when I had some control over the situation.

Assuming she wanted to do this in private, I turned and headed for the back of the house. She followed. We quickly walked toward the river and jumped to the other side. After a little more walking, we both stopped and faced each other.

Her protective stance was back. Rosalie didn't say anything right away. She just looked at me with fierce, determined eyes. I waited. She'd get it out eventually.

I wasn't disappointed. "You're really going to try and have sex with her aren't you." It wasn't a question.

"Rosalie, I really don't think that's…"

"Don't tell me it's not any of my business, Edward. It's all of our business. Do you really think you can do that without killing her?"

"Yes," I said beginning to get angry. How could she even think I would do that to Bella? At the very least I would stop and we wouldn't accomplish our goal. I'd make myself leave the room as I had that first day in Biology. What I would _not _do is kill the woman I loved.

She looked at me and shook her head. "I really hope you're right," she sighed. "You know how I feel about Bella. I think she's making a horrible mistake. She's human and she has everything. _Everything._ And she's going to give it all up. I can't understand that. I don't know if I'll ever understand that. But I don't want you to kill her either."

"Thank you, Rosalie," I said through clinched teeth. What was the point of this speech of hers? I already knew how she felt.

She sighed again in what seemed to be defeat. "I don't mean to make you angry. I'm just worried."

I made sure my anger was under control. "Don't be."

"If…"

I cut her off. "We'll be fine."

I was done listening. Bella should be done with Alice by now, hopefully. If not, I would remove her from my sister by force. It was bad enough I'd spent the night away from her; I would not spend the day without her as well.

Running back, I'd expected to hear Rose behind me but there was nothing. No sound, no thoughts.

I was two hundred yards from the house when I heard her. Bella's voice was soft as a whisper. It was so quiet I couldn't make out the words but I could tell it was coming from upstairs. At first I thought it was in Alice's room but I was on the wrong side of the house.

My eyes drifted up until they found where the voice was coming from. Where the voices were coming from. Carlisle's office. They were speaking in hushed tones but the window was open sending their voices down to me.

I came closer. Knowing I shouldn't be listening. They obviously wanted their talk to be private given their low volume. I couldn't stop myself from moving directly under the window.

My mind did a quick sweep of the other's in the house; Emmett, distracted by the television, Alice in her room going over a list of some sort, and Esme, who I could tell was trying her best NOT to listen to the conversation going on only two doors down from her. I, however, wanted to listen. If they were talking about Bella's change, then why would they be whispering?

There was complete silence for several minutes above me. I waited. Then I heard Bella's voice. "Will his…I mean if we can really…do this," she took a deep breath. "I know he has venom in his mouth but…but what about when he…"

I held my breath. Was she really asking what I thought she was asking?! To Carlisle? I shook my head and mentally berated myself. Of course if she was going to ask someone it would be Carlisle. Who else was she going to ask?

Carlisle's voice was still at a whisper but his tone had changed. It was his doctor's voice; the one he used when delivering medical advice to his patients. She was asking. If I was capable of blushing, I would be beet red right now. I could only imagine what Bella's face looked like.

He began slowly, picking his words carefully. "No. It's not quite the same, Bella." I heard him shift in his chair. "Do you remember when Jasper showed you his bites?" he paused and I could imagine Bella nodding her head. "Our venom is a weapon. When we bite another vampire it causes a burning sensation. If the same flowed during our point of…intimacy, it would not be pleasurable for our mates."

I had to admit I hadn't thought about this and I realized I should have. A shot of self-loathing went straight through me. I'm supposed to be protecting Bella and I could have been putting her in more danger. I could have hurt her!

A strangled cry started low in my stomach and moved its way up to my throat. It took great effort to keep it from escaping and giving away my presence but I did. I was embarrassed enough at my slip. If Bella knew I'd overheard it would make her uncomfortable and I wouldn't do that.

I heard her thank Carlisle and the door to his office open. Slowly I made my way inside. I didn't want to move too quickly or she might suspect I'd been outside listening, which I had been but that wasn't the point.

I stopped for a minute to say hi to Emmett as I'd planned earlier. He just gave me a sly smile and told me to have fun up in my room with Bella. Shaking my head I headed up the stairs at a human pace. As I passed by my father's door, he called my name in his mind. Reaching out, I opened the door and entered his office.

The look on his face was disapproving and I knew immediately he knew I'd been eavesdropping. _Bella asked to speak to me in private. I understand she is going to be your wife but you did not have the right to listen. _

I tried to convey my remorse without words. I didn't want to speak out loud and give the others an opportunity to hear. Carlisle nodded but continued his chastisement. _If you are going to be married to her, Edward, you need to respect her as an equal. She deserves just the same rights as you have. _I started to protest but he held up his hand to stop me. _I know you love her. Of that I have no doubt. _He paused and shook his head. _Yours is a unique situation. We all know that. And we all love Bella. _

I heard what his words weren't saying. He wanted me to tell Bella I'd overheard them. He wanted me to confess my weakness to her. I didn't answer at first. It was the last thing I wanted to do. But I trusted Carlisle. He'd been married longer than any mortal man. "I'll try."

He seemed satisfied with my answer. I walked back out into the hall and headed up the last flight of stairs. I could smell her scent drifting down from my room, our room. At the top step I turned and could see her sitting on my bed. She was reading and whatever it was had her heart rate at a slightly elevated pace.

I stepped through the doorway and her head snapped up. A deep blush covered her entire face and neck. I took a step forward and then stopped as I saw what she had in her hands.

Chapter End Notes:

**Well...what do you all think she's got in her little hands? :)**


	22. Chapter 22

**Wow what am amazing response to the cliffhanger. Some of you did guess what Bella is holding in her little hands that has both of them more than a little embarressed but I'm not going to tell you what it is. You'll find out soon enough. **

**I think I responded to all the reviews, if for some reason I've missed you I'm very sorry I didn't mean to. I really do try to respond to every one. **

**If you have a question or would like clarification on something, feel free to ask. As long as it won't give away part of the plot, I will try to answer it as best I can. **

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own Edward.

We both just stood there; neither moving nor saying a word. There in Bella's hands were the books Emmett had given me. The books he'd given to help me prepare.

This was another one of those times when I needed to know what she was thinking. Her eyes held embarrassment yes but there were a few flickers of other things that flashed across her face as well. Finally I couldn't stand it any longer, "Bella?" The red on her face deepened.

Averting her eyes, she closed the book she'd been holding. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean… I…I was trying to find something for my hair and I… I mean I didn't mean to snoop in your things."

Did she think I was upset with her? That's what it sounded like. Why would she think that? I had to know.

Moving to sit beside her on the bed, I reached for her hand. She was still looking down away from me. "Look at me please."

Slowly her head came up enough for her eyes to meet mine. "Edward, I'm sor…"

I placed a finger on her lips. "You do not need to apologize, love. This is your room too. You are free to use…or look at anything here." I paused moving my hand to cup her cheek. "I am only sorry you had to see…"

I didn't finish my sentence. My embarrassment knew no bounds. She had been looking at the Sex for Dummies book when I'd interrupted her.

Watching her face, she swallowed and watched my eyes closely. I knew she was getting ready to speak and I was anxious to hear what she would say. Would she think me a pervert? Maybe I should not have been reading them. Maybe it was not the right thing to do.

When she finally spoke, Bella surprised me with a question. "Are you really reading these?"

I lowered my eyes in shame. "Yes."

She didn't say anything more right away so I lifted my eyes again to see her face. The right side of Bella's mouth was pulled up in a small smirk. I opened my mouth to ask her what she was smiling about but before I could form the words, Bella launched herself at me.

Her hands came up to find fist-fulls of my hair. And her mouth…her mouth descended on mine in a frenzy. I hadn't been prepared and a sharp flame of fire jetted down my throat.

After a few seconds my lips began moving with hers tentatively. I didn't understand. Was she ok with this? Her actions seemed to say she was. I needed to find out.

Gripping her shoulders, I held her away from me. A moan of protest left her lips. I was not deterred. I needed to understand this; to know what she was thinking.

She was breathing heavily and I waited until her eyes met mine. They were filled with sadness, passion. I didn't see any anger or even the embarrassment I had seen only minutes before. "Bella…" I paused and started again. "Emmett gave them to me. To help me prepare." I shook my head. "His idea of a joke, I'm sure. Anyway, I decided that maybe they could help so I started reading them."

Bella shifted and brought her hand up to touch the side of my face lightly. "Edward it's ok. I don't mind that you're reading them." Then her mouth lifted into that little smile of hers again. "Did you learn anything?"

My eyes widened in shock. I was speechless for a full minute before I could process that she was not only NOT upset, she seemed to be…happy. "I have only read just…a little so far, but…yes."

A full smile fixed her face now. "Really? So there's something in these books that you didn't learn with those two medical degrees of yours?"

Bella's smile was contagious and I couldn't help but smile back when I answered her. "Those degrees dealt with technical knowledge, not practical."

"Hm," she murmured as she pulled herself back up to her knees. "Practical? Like?"

I shook my head. "Bella…"

She leaned closer and brought her lips to my ear. "Can you show me?"

The only thing I had read about so far was masturbation and I would not even consider 'showing' her that part about what I'd learned. I was silent for several minutes and she waited for me to respond. Her warm breath blowing across my neck with each exhale. My fingers were itching with the desire to touch her, to show her exactly what I had learned.

Her hand slowly began to move from my neck to my chest and I remembered my time with Jasper last night. I didn't think I was ready for Bella to touch me yet though but maybe I could work on touching her. I raised myself to my knees and bringing my arm under her legs, I lay her back on the bed.

Bella's arms rested loosely on my shoulders as I looked down at her. I watched her face carefully as I spoke. "I want to try something." She nodded. I removed one arm and then the other from me and placed them alongside her on the bed. "I need you to lay very still for me, love. Can you do that?"

"Yes." Her voice was husky with anticipation and it shot straight through me.

Forcing myself to focus. "Bella I need to you tell me if at any point you wish me to stop."

She nodded again. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath, letting a fiery wave of her scent flow through me. Reaching out my hands, I placed cold fingers along Bella's neck. I kept my touch feather light as I moved down to trace her collarbone. I glance up. Bella was watching me.

With the same light touch I did something I'd never done before; my fingers moved over the fabric of her shirt down between the soft mounds of Bella's breasts. My two fingers fit easily between her softness and I felt the wire of her bra when I reached it in my downward journey.

Bella's breath hitched as I traced the hard line of her bra from one edge to the other beneath her softness. I paused for a second to make sure she was alright with this. The look on her face was…pleasure. I smiled, loving that I could do this to her. For her.

I splayed my hand wide as I caressed her stomach taking my time moving my hand slowly from one side of her body to the other. Noticing Bella twitched when my hand graced over her right side. I stopped my movements and looked up at her. "Bella? Are you ok?"

"Yes. It just…tickles." I cocked my head to the side considering this. She spoke before I was done processing the information. "Your touch is so light."

"I don't want to hurt you."

Her voice was soft. "You won't hurt me."

"Bella…"

"Edward, I promised I'd tell you if you were hurting me and I will."

She had promised. And I remembered what Carlisle had just told me. I needed to treat her as an equal if she were to be my wife. I nodded and with an increase in pressure, I restarted my efforts to explore my love's body with my hand.

As I reached the spot just above the edge of her pants, I found another softness. It wasn't like her breasts but it was softer than just a few inches above. I knew what lay behind it; her womb. I let my hand drift down a few inches to cover the fullness of it beneath my hand.

My fingers slowly moved across the fabric beneath. Bella's lips parted and she began to breath deeper. I continued my motions, keeping them consistent, as I watched her. She was enjoying my touch and I loved it.

With deliberate slowness, I glided my hand to her hip and began moving down her leg. I hadn't moved far when I noticed Bella had stopped breathing. I sat motionless. "Breath, Bella," I whispered.

She started breathing again but it was at a quicker pace than normal. I knew where my hand was and a part of me, the seventeen-year-old part of me, wanted to toy with her. To keep my hand where it was and see her reaction.

The more sane part of me knew that wasn't a good idea. Forcing my hand to move, I continued on my downward path. The muscles beneath my hands moved and flex under my touch.

My hand circled her knee before continuing on. Her legs here were so small. So weak. Instinctively, I lightened my touch again. I could crush her bones so easily, I mused.

I pushed the thought away. Thinking like that would not help. Bella liked my touch and I would do so as long as she would let me. As long as I was able.

Then I reached her feet. She was wearing sneakers. They completely obscured the dainty feet I knew she had. Running my hand over them once, I looked up at my love. Her eyes were watching me. I rested my hand at her ankle. "May I?"

She nodded and I quickly removed her shoe.

I'd never taken much interest in feet over the years. I could name every bone in them, but they held no fascination in particular for me. But these were Bella's feet. They were a part of her, and I didn't want to overlook them.

I ran a smooth hand across the top of her sock covered foot feeling the small bones beneath. So delicate. My index finger drifted over her toes and moved down to ghost across the bottom of her foot. Bella giggled and I looked up. "That tickles."

Feeling the side of my mouth raise in an answering smile, I held her heel in my hand and placed a soft kiss at her ankle. She stopped breathing again until I pulled back. This just made me smile wider.

Turning to the other foot I proceeded to give it the same attention, causing another giggle. The sound stopped though, as I made my way back up her leg. She was watching me again. And as I got closer to the junction between her legs the same hurried breathing returned.

When my hand reached her hip, I caught my first whiff of her arousal. I took a deep breath loving the fragrance. I sat there for several minutes not moving, just breathing.

When I opened my eyes, I found Bella staring at me. She knew what I was doing. Knew I was smelling her. A faint blush covered her cheeks and she was biting her bottom lip.

Before I realized what I was doing, I was hovering above her with my mouth an inch from hers. Her breath coated my lips and I couldn't wait any longer. I needed to taste my Bella. My mouth covered hers in slow deliberate movements as I savored the feeling, the taste.

Hands came up to pull at my hair as I deepened our kiss. As our lips moved, her scent shot directly into my mouth sending fire racing. I was beyond caring. I was in control and that was all that mattered.

My left hand lay on the mattress to keep my weight off her. I used my right hand to continue exploring. Running my hand up and down her arm, I marveled at her muscles contracting each time she tugged at my hair.

Sliding back down her arm to her shoulder blade, I circled around and back down her side this time with more pressure. She pulled me closer. Her obvious pleasure excited me further and I continued to stroke her. I knew she needed to breathe so I moved to place a few kisses along her jaw before returning to her mouth.

Our kissing continued with little variation. My hand stayed in motion either along Bella's side, shoulder or arm. Her hands continued to tangle in my hair but occasionally moved down briefly to my back or even the top of my chest. Her touch felt wonderful but also distracting. I knew she wanted to take it further but didn't want to push me. I was grateful. Soon, my Bella. Soon.

It wasn't until I heard Emmett chuckle downstairs, his thoughts asking if we did anything else but kiss, that I realized just how long we'd been in this position. I brushed my cold lips across her jaw down to her neck. "Are you alright, love?"

"Mmmm."

I chuckled. "Is that a yes?" I asked running my lips down her neck till I reached her pulse point.

"Yes," she choked out.

Pressing my lips firmly against the vein pulsing beneath my mouth, I slipped my cold tongue out to taste her. Bella gasped and pulled hard on my hair. I would never get enough of her taste, her smell.

My hand tangled in her hair as I buried my face in her locks breathing deeply. Daggers of fire shot down my throat since I was still breathing harder than normal from our kissing. I concentrated on Bella's own breathing. It was deep and quick as she held onto me.

Slowly we both calmed and our breathing returned to normal. Neither of us moved until I felt her shiver. I pulled back. "Are you cold?"

She pulled her lower lip between her teeth and looked down. "Just a little."

I moved my body from her completely and reached for the blanket. She reluctantly took it and sat up against the headboard motioning me to sit beside her. I did, keeping space between us. Bella didn't like the space and moved to close it. Reluctantly, I put my arm around her back making sure the blanket was between us.

Resting her head on my chest we sat quietly for a while. The window was open in my room and nature could be heard in the woods outside. I wondered how much Bella's human ears could hear.

I brushed my nose lightly across the top of Bella's head. She snuggled into me. "Do you know yet where we're going after the wedding?"

Smiling, I said, "Yes."

She looked up at me. "So where are we going?"

I shook my head. "That is a surprise." Her eyes became set and I knew she was gearing up for an argument. "It is tradition for me to plan the honeymoon. And it is also tradition for the honeymoon to be a surprise for my bride." I placed my finger below her chin and placed a soft kiss on her nose. "You will just have to trust me Miss Swan."

Her mouth opened and then closed again several times before any sound came out. "Fine," she said resolutely. "I'm guessing you've threatened Alice so she won't tell me either."

I laughed. "There was no need, love. Alice agrees with me."

"Figures," she mumbled.

Looking over at the clock I saw it was well past lunch. "Shall we go downstairs and get you something to eat?"

Bella sighed and then nodded. Getting up from the bed, I quickly folded the blanket and put it back in its place. I reached out my hand and Bella intertwined our fingers as we made our way downstairs.

Chapter End Notes:

**Well to all of you who guessed right congratulations. :) **

**Next chapter is the longest yet. It is over 3000 words so that will make some of you happy (and you know who you are). ;) **


	23. Chapter 23

Author's Chapter Notes:

**Ok here it is, as promised, 3259 words. Aren't you all happy? lol. **

**First a few housekeeping issues. I've had a few comments on the pacing of this story. Yes, it is slow. There is a reason for that. This is a marathon, not a sprint and it's paced that way. **

**Second a reminder, this is a cannon story. Bella and Edward will NOT be having sex of any kind until after the wedding. There are stories out there that delve into those non cannon practicing possiblities for these two but this is not one of them. Bella makes a comment in the bathroom on Isle Esme that she is nervous about Edward seeing her naked. This leads us to believe that he's never seen her so before. With that in mind, their practicing could not have gone THAT far into the physical, which is why I have introduced Jasper helping. **

**Enough of that already. Let's get on with what you actually want to read. :)**

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

We made our way into the kitchen. When I asked Bella what she'd like, she insisted a sandwich and chips would be fine. I selected some meat and cheese from the refrigerator and began assembling her sandwich while Bella went in search of chips.

When she reappeared several minutes later, she held a bag of Cheetos in her hand. Walking to the counter, she hopped on the stool where I'd set her sandwich. Opening the bag, Bella dumped a large pile or orange puffs onto the plate. She took a large bite of her sandwich and stuffed a few puffs into her mouth. I sat down next to her and watched her eat.

There was something about watching Bella eat. It was so…human. I couldn't help but wonder if watching her hunt would be just as fascinating to me.

She'd gotten so used to me watching her, my attention to her repeated actions of picking up her sandwich, biting into it and then shoving two Cheetos into her mouth, went unacknowledged.

When she was finished, I cleaned up quickly and then we headed back to her house. Bella said she needed to start dinner and do some laundry before Charlie got home.

Parking in my usual spot, I walked around and opened her door. Placing my arm around her waist, we walked into her house. I hung our jackets up in the hall and then followed Bella to the kitchen.

Taking a seat at the table, I watched as Bella worked. When she finished, she headed up the stairs and I followed her. She turned to her bedroom and began piling laundry into a basket.

Dropping the last shirt onto the pile, she reached to pick the basket but I moved faster. I was not allowing Bella to carry something I could and would do for her. She gave me a look of mild disapproval and then sighed. "We have to get Charlie's clothes, too."

"Lead the way, love." I smiled at her.

We walked to her father's bedroom and she proceeded to place his dirty clothes into the same basket. With that done, we went into the bathroom and she began unloading the hamper there as well. Half way through she paused, "should we wait and get the rest on another trip?"

I rolled my eyes. "I think I can handle it, Bella."

She actually giggled. Silly Bella.

We went back down stairs to the small laundry room tucked in the back of the house. I set the basket down on the floor and Bella started the washer and sorted the clothes into piles. When she closed the lid on the machine, she turned to me with a strange look on her face. She looked embarrassed again. Leaning back against the wall she glanced up at me while worrying her bottom lip. "What is it, love?" I asked reaching out to touch her warm cheek.

She didn't answer right away but I was patient. She'd tell me when she was ready. I had no idea what could be going through her mind. She spoke softly at first. "Edward, would you…" and then the words came quickly, "bring the book with you tonight?"

My hand stilled on her cheek. Thoughts raced through my mind as I tried to think what other book she could possibly be referring to other than the one I thought she was but couldn't find one. "Bella…"

Taking a step toward me, she placed a hand on my chest and looked up into my eyes. "Please?"

I closed my eyes. When she said that one little word I became putty in her hands. "I don't know, Bella," I said trying to hold onto my reasoning. "They aren't really the type of books…"

She was flush against me now, her hands around my neck. I stood frozen. "I want to share them with you, Edward. Please?" she pulsed. "Besides, maybe I can learn something too," she smirked.

I opened my eyes at that. Bella wanted… She… This woman never ceased to amaze me. I wrapped my arms around her waist and lifted her off the ground burying my face in her hair. "I love you."

She laughed but held me tighter. "I love you, too."

I set her back down and brushed the hair away from her face before placing a soft kiss to her forehead.

"So does that mean you'll bring it?" she asked timidly.

I nodded and she smiled. Heading back into the living room we turned on the television and waited for Charlie.

My nerves began to return the closer we got to home. Maybe I shouldn't bring the book. I could tell her I forgot.

Okay that was not an option. Bella would know I was not being truthful. She knew too much about what I am, about what she would be. Besides I had already agreed. That didn't mean I felt comfortable with it.

Parking my Volvo in front of the house, I made my way inside. As I was shutting the door, Carlisle was making his way down the stairs. _Hello, Edward. _

Nodding in greeting, I realized we were alone in the house. "Where is everyone?"

"Alice and Rose went shopping in Seattle. Emmett and Jasper are out hunting. And Esme's in Port Angeles picking up something for the design she's working on. She should be back soon though," he smiled. "How's Bella?"

"Good."

He pulsed a minute watching me. His mind was empty of thoughts. "I'd better get going or I'll be late," he mumbled as he made his way past me and out the door. It was only as he was getting into his car that his thoughts finally broke. Carlisle wanted to know if I'd talked to Bella.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed in frustration. That was one more conversation I didn't want to have tonight. One I wanted to have even less than I wanted to bring the requested book.

Commanding my limbs to move forward, I headed up the stairs to my room. Being alone in the house had its advantages. I picked out some music and raised the volume to a level I would never use with others present and then sat down at my desk.

Turning on my computer, I check our flights and connections for the honeymoon and confirmed with the house staff that everything would be fully stocked upon our arrival. I wanted Bella to be comfortable. I wanted her to have fun.

I took the extra time and researched the area around the island as well. Not knowing how long we'd be there, I needed to locate a place to hunt. I was able to find a large forest within a forty-five minute boat ride of the island. Finding the name of the forest, I researched the animal life that could be found there. According to the screen, large game was quite plentiful in the region.

Noticing the time, I logged off the computer and shut it down just as Esme was making her way into the house. With a slight hesitation, I picked up the Sex for Dummies book in one hand and my jacket in another. Quickly, I wrapped the book in the jacket and exited my room.

I passed Esme on the stairs. "Edward," she smiled. "Off to Bella's?" My only response was a smile. A larger, knowing smile spread across her face as she turned toward her room. _Enjoy your evening, Edward. _

It was a little before midnight when I entered Bella's room. Her light was on again, but this time I was expecting it. I knew she'd be waiting on me.

When I looked over, she was sitting up in her bed reading. Looking up she smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. Bella moved over, making space for me on the bed. Slowly I made my way over to sit facing her. She looked a bit puzzled. Then she looked down at my hands to the book still wrapped in my jacket.

"You brought it," she smiled.

"I did," I paused. "But Bella I don't think…"

She silenced me by placing her hand over my mouth. "You promised."

I couldn't help teasing her a little. She was so cute when she was flustered. "I promised I would bring it, love, not that we would actually look at it."

As fast as her human hands would go, she reached to snatch it away from me. I of course was faster. Before she'd moved an inch, I had the book behind my back.

It only took a few seconds for her to register the emptiness. Bella crossed her arms and glared at me. It was beyond adorable. "Edward," she said firmly.

"What is it, love?" I couldn't help but smirk.

She noticed the small upward turn of my mouth and obviously decided to try a different tactic. Scrambling to her knees, she reached up and cupped my face. I held completely still as she leaned forward and brushed her warm lips across mine before blazing a warm trail up to my ear. "Edward, don't you want to share what you've been learning with me?" she whispered.

Oh my. I swallowed. Typically I was a very controlled person. But that all changed with Bella. Human or not, she could make me lose my control, my resolve…my mind, with very little effort. "Bella…"

She shifted her weight and her pulsing jugular was poised a fraction of an inch from my lips. I was trying to focus, trying to think of anything but the way Bella's lips felt brushing against my ear. Leaning in, I eliminated the small space between my lips and her skin causing her to exhale a sharp breath directly into my ear.

Her hands tightened on my shoulders and I continued my new assault to her neck. She seemed to be distracted from her task, which was wonderful because so was I. My fingers itched to touch her.

I let the book fall to the bed behind me and brought my hands around to her hips. She leaned into me, exposing more of her neck and shoulder. My right hand moved up her back, pressing her closer to me while my lips ran a steady line down to her collarbone and back to their starting point.

I felt Bella's hands move up the back of my neck to tangle in my hair as she pulled herself closer, shifting my face lower. My mouth hovered at the point where her shirt met her skin. Her breasts were only inches away and I could see hints of her soft flesh just out of my reach. My eyes lingered a moment too long before I slowly began making my way back up. I wanted to feel the soft pillow of her lips.

It was then I realized Bella's hands were no longer in my hair but moving down my back. Before I could clear the fog of desire from my head, she shifted her weight and snatched the book from behind me and rolled over onto the bed. She was still in mid-roll when I caught her.

The book was held tightly to her chest. She was breathing hard. I wasn't sure if it was from our kissing or from her effort to take possession of the book.

Bella was looking up at me with large doe eyes. I could have taken the book from her easily. She knew this. She also knew I wouldn't. I closed my eyes for a minute to come to terms with the fact I was not getting out of this.

Moving away from her, I sat up, offering her my assistance. There was only a moments hesitation as she understood I wasn't going to fight her on this. She followed me as I moved to sit with my back to the headboard.

With the book still wrapped loosely in my jacket in her lap, she glanced up at me. I kept my face blank. I didn't want her to see how much this was bothering me. It seemed as if I was in a constant state of awkwardness as of late.

After watching me for a few moments, she looked back down at her lap and removed the jacket revealing the black and yellow cover. There was a silly cartoon character staring back at us. But Bella didn't pay any attention to that of course, she noticed the bookmark and flipped to that page.

I hadn't looked at the next page when I'd placed the bookmark. I had been so…so…well there just weren't words for how I'd felt reading about masturbation and the thoughts I'd had that followed. The book had remained closed since. But seeing what was now in front of us, I wish I had.

Every instinct told me to rip the book out of Bella's hand and burn it, hide it. Something. Anything but have her look. There in bold black and white lettering were the words **Cunnalingus/Felacio**_. _And beneath it read in parentheses, _Oral Sex. _

I froze, waiting to see if she'd say something, but instead she glanced up at me, her face flushed.

"Maybe…maybe we should skip this chapter," I suggested.

Bella sucked her lower lip into her mouth and bit down. I always worried when she did that, fearing she would harm herself. Reaching out, I ran a cold finger just below her lip silently asking her to release it. She did, but glanced back down at the page. I let my hand drop back to my lap. Her brow furrowed like she was deep in thought and her fingers came to tangle together on top of the book.

I remained still. I had no idea what she was thinking. Her silence was driving me crazy. I needed to know what was going through her head. "Bella?"

She bit her lip again and then quickly released it. Sighing she began to speak very softly. So soft I was not sure another human would have been able to hear it. "Have you ever thought…about…"

Bella was asking if I'd ever thought… How was I supposed to answer that? I… Instead of answering, I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose.

I was still in that position when she spoke again. "I have."

My eyes popped open. What?! She'd… She'd…

It took me several minutes to compose myself and a minute longer than it took Bella. When I looked over at her, she was staring at me. "Are you okay?" she whispered.

I searched her face for any sign of…well anything that could help me in deciphering what I was supposed to say. My mind couldn't wrap itself around the thought of Bella thinking of me giving her pleasure like that. I mean, I knew couples did those things and that they found it quite enjoyable but…

Realizing I hadn't answered her yet, I heard her heart rate pick up speed. She was scared. She was scared she'd upset me. I had to fix this. "Bella," I paused. "Bella, have you really thought…about me…" I couldn't think of a better word, "pleasuring you in that way?"

Her heart rate calmed a little, but in its place her entire face turned red. "Yes," she whispered. "And me… to you."

"Bella…" I couldn't speak. What should I say? What could I say? She… But why? She didn't have to do that. I would never… I mean just being able to touch her, to show her how much I loved her, to worship her was all I would ever want. I began shaking my head. "Bella you…don't have to think that way. You don't have to…"

Suddenly I felt her hand on mine and I looked over at her. Her eyes were full of emotion, of love. "Edward, please tell me what you're thinking. Why are you so upset?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose again and took a deep breath, letting the fullness of her scent flow through me. I said the words slowly, deliberately. "I would never ask you to do something like that. I would never…degrade…you in that way."

My eyes were still closed when I felt her move to sit across my legs. I looked and saw the book laying in the space she had occupied only seconds before. The look on Bella's face was one of determination and I wasn't sure I was going to like what she had to say. She placed her hands on either side of my face, wanting me to look at her. "What do you mean 'you would never degrade me in that way'?"

She is going to be your wife. In two weeks you are going to try to make love to her. It's okay to be talking about this with her. It's more than okay. You need to be talking to her about this.

I kept replaying this mantra to myself over and over until I found the courage to speak. She still had her hands in place and was watching my struggle. "Love, I would never ask you to…I would never expect you to…touch…me…that way."

Bella's head tilted to the side. "Why not?"

What did she mean why not? I tried to close my eyes again but Bella increased the pressure on my face begging me not to. "Bella, it isn't right. I would not do that to you. You've given me so much, so much more than I will ever deserve."

She was quiet for a long time, not moving. Finally she dropped her hands down to her sides but remained on my lap. "Would you…do you want to…pleasure me…like that? With your mouth?"

I felt my eyes widen but I answered her. "Yes, love, if you would want me to."

"Would you enjoy it, do you think?"

If what I'd pick up from the vast majority of men's minds over the years on the subject was any given indication, "Yes," I answered.

The look of determination was back but there was also a touch of anger as well. "Then why do you not think I would feel the same way." She must have seen the confusion on my face. "Edward, if you would enjoy giving me…oral pleasure," she said with a smirk, "then why don't you think I would enjoy giving you the same?"

I had no answer to that. Sex was not on the minds of females as it was males. More so in recent years than in the past but still there was far from a balance. Also, females did not tend to be as graphic in their memories.

She must have decided I'd taken long enough. "I'm waiting for an answer, Edward Cullen."

Honestly seemed to be the best I could do. "I don't know. It just didn't seem…I didn't think…" I searched her eyes, locking them with mine. "Would you really want to do that?"

Bella leaned in and brushed her lips with mine, obviously forgiving me. "Yes."

Shifting back off my lap, she picked up the book again. I breathed a bit easier now. It was still uncomfortable, but there was a part of me that was…elated…that Bella would feel that way. A part of me kept saying it was wrong to want that, to even think of her doing that to me, but another part, a bigger part, reminded me I would do anything to make Bella happy. Anything.


	24. Chapter 24

Author's Chapter Notes:

**Thank you all for your wonderful reviews and for the support that you give this story. This chapter turned out to be just over 1800 words. Sorry. But I think you'll like it. I know I do. :) **

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

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Bella and I sat on her bed for the next two hours reading and talking. It took me a while to open up and I knew she was a little frustrated with what she viewed as my old fashioned ways. I just didn't want her to ever feel like she wasn't special to me.

We talked about what might be possible before her change and a little about our desires after she was like me. Even now as she lay here in my arms sleeping, I was having difficulty wrapping my mind around what she'd confessed to me.

My love was just as innocent as I was in regards to sex but she'd thought more about us being together than I'd realized. Bella had actually thought about, dreamt about, me using my mouth on her. And while she was still human. She asked me if that was possible. I was honest and told her, as with a lot of things, I didn't know.

I was fairly sure the basics of it were possible. My lips would just need to be kept firmly covering my teeth. That was not my concern though. All I could remember was the one time I'd had my nose so close to her scent I could almost taste her. Just the memory sent a jolt of heat deep in my stomach.

Her desire for me to do this for her, and my want to do this for her, made me remember my time with Jasper. We were going to have to push things. I needed to be as ready as possible. I could not have Bella ending up broken like sawdust in my hands.

Bella shifted in her sleep, causing the blanket between us to slip and I pulled it back up to cover her. She mumbled my name and I placed a soft kiss on her forehead. Her hand moved from its place over my heart to the curve of my neck. I held myself still as she pulled herself up to tuck her face into my shoulder. If I didn't know she was still asleep, I would have been nervous.

She stayed in that position for a few minutes only releasing a few sighs of contentment. I once again adjusted the blanket and wrapped my arms around her.

My eyes closed as I picked up where I left off in my thoughts. Jasper. Next time. Next time we needed to explore the feelings of flesh on flesh. I needed to know what emotions I would feel when Bella's body was pressed completely, wholly, against mine.

My love moved again but this time it was different. Her hot breath picked up against my neck and I felt her heart do the same. The hand that was only seconds before resting calmly on my neck began to move in slow caressing strokes down my chest.

I held my breath. This could not be happening. It was too much. My mind couldn't seem to shut off from this desire plaguing me and when I thought I would get a brief respite while Bella slept, I now found myself in the position of either waking her or allowing her to touch me as she might.

There was no doubt as to my wants. I wanted Bella's touch. I wasn't sure I could handle it though. Could I stop her without waking her? I had before but she'd not been entangled with me as she was now.

Just then her leg moved to drape across mine and brush ever so slightly against my groin. I bit my lip to stifle my groan. Then she said my name. It sounded so wonderful on her lips and I knew then I didn't want her to stop. I would let her do this for as long as I could stand.

Bella's lips moved ever so slightly against my neck releasing tiny moans and pants. Her hand continued to rub my torso and I had to hold my breath every time she grazed my nipple. I was trying to will myself to relax. Telling myself to breath and concentrate on Bella.

Amazingly, it was working. My hands clinched into fists but I was almost instantly able to relax them back against her. Her hand was staying in fairly safe places, which was helping. I had no idea what I would do, how I would react, if she went lower.

Our discussion earlier was obviously penetrating her thoughts as it was mine. I couldn't blame her for her actions. There was a part of me that wanted to flip her over and take her right here no matter what the consequences.

That part of me brought with it shame. We only had eleven days to go. Eleven days and she'd be my wife. I took a deep breath, burying my face in her hair so the burn would intensify down my throat to distract me.

Then Bella moved. I pinched my eyes shut and breathed deeper, faster. Her hips were making little pumping motions against my side.

I could feel myself growing and realized there was nothing I could do to stop it other than remove myself from her completely. My hands were clenched in tight balls and my teeth were locked together. My right arm pressed her tighter against me and I ripped the offending arm away from her, grabbing a fist full of lifeless blanket instead.

She continued to move and I was doing all I could to hang onto my control. I could hear the whimpers growing ever frequent from her lips. Her hand gripped my shirt and began flexing almost in rhythm with my own hand still trying to hold her but failing in its attempt. Then I felt her body move roughly against me, grinding against my hard flesh three times before a hard moan escaped from her lips and her whole body jerked.

Bella seemed to relax for a second before her body stiffened and I knew she was awake. She raised her head slowly to look at me. I was still trying to regain my control with my hands flexing, trying to release the energy flowing through my body at what I'd just experienced.

Her eyes held mine. I knew I had to look like the wild animal I was. Not wanting to scare her, I closed my eyes. Bella's hand came up quickly to touch my face. "Don't."

I opened my eyes again. The latest shift of her body moved the blanket, sending a rush of her to my nose. The growl erupted deep in my chest with no hope of stopping it.

Within a second I had Bella on her back, pinned beneath me. I didn't give her time to react. My lips took possession of hers. I knew I was pressing too hard but I needed to feel her. I needed to taste her. The smell of her passion still lingered in my nostrils even though it was now contained within the blanket surrounding her. I didn't need the scent. I had the memory of it and it was intoxicating. I was addicted to it more than I'd ever been to her blood.

Bella's hands held my hard shoulders while I assaulted her mouth. And assault is the only word for what I was doing. My hard mouth pulled at her lips forcing them to conform to what I wanted, what I needed. My tongue slipped between my lips to lick at her beautiful pillows, now swollen from my harsh touch.

I felt her fingers push against my skin and knew she needed to breathe. I didn't want to leave those lips that were calling to me but I knew I must. My tongue took a long lick along her lips and then I forced myself away.

As soon as my mouth released her, Bella gasped for air and it was like a human having ice water thrown on them. The guilt washed over me and I froze in mid breath. I lay unmoving while her breath came back to normal and then I forced myself away.

Rolling over, I was on my feet before Bella even realized I was gone. "Edward," she said softly. "Edward. Don't go." She reached out for me.

How could she even want me near her after what I did? I shook my head. "Bella I…I…"

I remained frozen at the side of her bed. She pushed the blanket away from her and the scent that had sent me into a craze hit me again. My fist clenched at my side and my eyes closed in concentration.

Bella was moving closer to me. Her heat and her scent were in front of me in mere seconds. She reached out and one by one took my hands and pulled at my fingers until I unclenched my fists. Keeping my eyes closed, she tugged at my arms and I let her place them around her soft form.

She placed one warm hand on my face, the other on my chest just where my heart would be. "Look at me." I did. "I'm sorry."

My arms contracted with her words and the guilt of what I was pulsed through me again. "Bella, you have no need to apologize."

"Yes I do." I started to speak but she stopped me. "Edward, I know what I did and… I know it couldn't have been easy for you."

I shook my head. "I should have woken you. I knew what was happening."

"Are you sorry you didn't wake me?"

"No," I said without thinking. It was honest but I knew it was the wrong answer when I saw Bella smile.

"Good."

I shook my head again. "How can you say that? I almost… You saw what almost happened."

She was caressing my face again, trying to calm me. I was still upset but it was working. "Exactly. Almost."

"Bella…"

"Edward you stopped the minute you thought you were hurting me just like I knew you would. You won't hurt me. I know you won't."

She didn't give me a chance to answer her this time as she move out of my arms and back to the bed, wrapping the blanket around her. Bella reached out for me and as always I couldn't say no. Getting back into the bed, I lay down beside her and she snuggled close.

I lay listening to her breathing slow as she drifted back to sleep. The guilt I felt for the way I'd acted tonight was still present but there was also a sense of hope; hope that Bella was right. Hope that I would not be able to hurt her. I held onto that hope like a life raft as I watched the sun rise outside of her window.

Chapter End Notes:

**So what did you think of Edward losing a bit of his precious control? lol. **

**Next chapter we vist the Cullen's. **


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

*****Please Read*****

**I REALLY hate to say this but... *sighs* Believe it or not I don't write authors notes for the heck of it. I really do have better things to do than spend time thinking of something trivial to say before posting a chapter. So with that said, IF I do post a note before the begining of a chapter, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE read it. I don't think that's too much to ask. **

**Now you might be wondering about my rant. First let me say, I have some of the best readers in the world. You all are great and I love reading your reviews and appreciate the support especially since this story is much different that the usual "practice" stories out there. But it is very frustrating when I get reviewers (and yes I got more than one from the various sites I post on) that obviously didn't pay one bit of attention to the chapter note I placed at the begining of chapter 23. **

**Okay, now that that is off my chest I have one more item to address. This story is rated NC-17. There is a reason for that rating. If you don't want to read sexual content, then please stop reading now! Bella and Edward will not be "having" any type of sex before the wedding, but that doesn't mean that they a) won't be talking about it or b) Edward will not be fantisizing about it. **

**Now...on with the story. :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

I spent the rest of the night reciting Shakespeare. That was a nice, safe activity. It also kept my mind busy so I would not think of the soft, warm, sensual woman lying against me.

Charlie left around six without bothering to come into Bella's room, so I stayed and just watched her sleep. She was so peaceful and it helped to calm my own nerves. Her heart beat a steady rhythm that filled my senses.

At eight twenty she started getting restless and rolled over to the other side of the bed away from me. I remained still so not to wake her, but within a few seconds her breathing changed and her eyes opened. Turning her head, she locked her gaze with mine.

From the look on her face it was clear she was trying to gage my mood. Finally she must have seen what she was looking for because she rolled over to face me. We weren't touching though, which I didn't like but I would let her lead.

"How are you?" she asked.

My mouth pulled into a small smile. "Good."

She sat up a little, resting her head on her arm. "Really? Are you sure?"

The smile on my face increased. "Yes, love. And how are you this morning?"

A smile broke out across her features. "Happy."

"Happy?" I laughed. Of course she would be happy.

She leaned in to place a soft kiss on my lips and then jumped out of bed. "I'll be back."

Bella picked up her bag of toiletries and left me lounging on her bed. I stood and fixed the sheets. Although this was partly my meticulous nature, it also gave me to opportunity to indulge in the heady scent of her as the linens moved and stirred the air in her room.

When she came back, I was waiting in the rocking chair. She was still in her nightclothes and I could smell the lingering hint of her arousal from last night. A part of me hoped she would take a shower so I would not have to suffer through that the entire day. I also knew if we went to my house, which was very likely, my family would smell it as well.

As I watched her pick out her clothes for the day, the fact that I had not yet told her about overhearing her conversation with Carlisle began to eat at me. I knew what I needed to do. I just did not want to do it. Carlisle was right though. If she was to be my wife, I needed to treat her as such.

Bella turned around, a pair of jeans and a t-shirt in hand, and found me staring. "What?" she asked.

I closed my eyes feeling the guilt wash over me. The last thing I wanted was to admit my weakness to Bella.

She set her clothes on the end of her bed and walked over to me. Placing her hands on my shoulders, she sat down on my lap. "Edward, please tell me what you're thinking."

Slowly I looked up at her. Her eyes were so trusting and I was reminded again of how much I didn't deserve her. "I need to tell you something, Bella. Something I don't want to."

"What is it? You know you can tell me anything."

I gave her a sad smile. That was very true. Nothing I'd ever told her had been enough to scare her away. To make her hate me. I knew this would not be something that would push her away but I still felt ashamed.

Patiently she waited. She was so much more patient than I was. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath inhaling the scent that was my life.

Meeting her eyes again, "Yesterday at my house you were speaking with Carlisle."

She looked a bit…startled. "Yes."

"I over heard your conversation. The last part anyway."

It took her a minute. I could see her going over the conversation in her mind. It didn't take her long to figure out what I'd heard.

Her eyes widened a little. "You heard what I asked Carlisle. About us?"

"Yes." And then it all began to spill out of me quickly. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I should have thought but I didn't. I could have hurt you and I have no excuse for that. And I shouldn't have listened to your conversation. I knew it was to be private but I couldn't help it. My curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to know what you were saying. What you were asking. Can you ever forgive me?" By the time I'd finished I was looking down. I couldn't look at her.

Bella was silent for a long time. Then she rose from my lap and went over to grab her clothes on the bed.

She still didn't speak as she took the clothes out the door and into her bathroom. I could hear her getting dressed and, as always, wondered what she was thinking. Did she hate me? Was she more upset because of my lack of foresight for her safety or because I had listened to her conversation? I had no idea. There was never a way to tell with Bella. Whatever I thought, it was probably the exact opposite.

When she did finally re-enter her bedroom, she came to stand directly in front of me. I looked up and the look on her face was a mix of anger and sadness. I hated seeing that there and knowing I was the cause of it. I wouldn't press her though. I would wait. She would talk to me when she was ready.

"Edward," she paused gathering her thoughts. "Thank you for telling me. I know you didn't have to."

She was thanking me? Would I ever be able to guess what she was thinking or would she always surprise me?

"Your right, my conversation with Carlisle was private but since it had to do with both of us, I guess I'm not that upset you overheard. And though I wish you would've told me right away, I understand we were a little sidetracked yesterday."

Her mouth lifted into a small smile before it straightened out again and then dipped into a slight frown. We must be getting to the bad part. Bella took a deep breath and her frown lines deepened. My anxiety was growing and I needed her to speak.

When she did, as always, it wasn't what I'd expected. "Why is it that you think it's only your responsibility to keep us safe?"

What? Obviously my silence was not the response she was looking for. "Tell me something, Edward. Whose idea was it to have sex? To try?" I was going to answer but she didn't give me a chance. "Mine. It was mine. This is what I wanted. This was my condition remember. So why do you continue to think it's only your responsibility to think of things? We're in this together, Edward." She glared at me. "Do you understand?"

"Yes," I said weakly.

That wasn't enough of an answer for her apparently. She just stood looking at me expectantly. "I understand that we are in this together, Bella. I will try to do better. I just…I worry."

Her face softened and she reached out her hand to touch my face. "I know." She moved to sit in my lap again and this time I wrapped my arms around her. "Please don't. We'll be okay. We're partners. Mates. Right?"

I nodded.

Her voice got softer. It felt like a caress as it left her lips. "That means we help each other. It isn't only your job to look out for things."

I buried my head in her shoulder. Sometimes Bella amazed me with her wisdom. She was so much smarter than her eighteen years gave her credit for.

We held each other for a long time just touching softly. I was so glad she was mine even if I didn't deserve her or her love. I would try harder. Try to remember we were partners. We would work together to keep her safe.

After Bella ate something, we headed to my house. I could hear my entire family inside. Jasper, Emmett and Rose were in the living room. However, Esme and Alice were talking to someone over the phone about the wedding. I didn't realize immediately who it was although I should have. They were talking to Renee.

Opening the door for Bella, I placed my hand in hers and started toward the house. She was still standing there looking at the house though. I glanced back at her and raised my eyebrow in question. Bella saw my look. "I'm just waiting for Alice to come barreling out like she usually does and whisk me away."

I laughed and gave her arm a light tug. She followed this time. "Alice is a bit busy at the moment so no whisking today. At least not yet."

She released an audible breath and leaned into me slightly. Bella was happy. I knew she loved my sister but sometimes Alice was too much, even for me.

We made our way inside and it only took thirty seconds for Emmett, Jasper and Rose to register Bella's scent. Jasper and Rose at least had the tact not to relay anything in their thoughts except curiosity. Emmett, however, was his usual non-tactful self. I was just glad he didn't say what he was thinking out loud in Bella's presence.

I quickly pulled her through the foyer and into the kitchen. Alice bound over to Bella and I as soon as she took notice of us. "Morning, Bella," she said wrapping my love in a hug. "Edward."

"Hey, Alice."

My greeting, for the most part, went unnoticed by my sister as she focused all her attention on Bella. They were talking about mundane topics such as what the weather forecast was looking like for our wedding and the planned upcoming shopping trip this Saturday.

Alice was going a pretty good job of keeping her thoughts on what she and Bella were discussing. Esme, however, from her position twenty feet away on the phone was not doing such a good job. She was still talking to Renee but she'd smelled the sweet scent Bella was carrying this morning and she was thrilled. Her mind was racing through all the things that could have possibly happened. She was so hopeful for us.

Her eyes left Bella and met mine. My look told her I'd caught her thoughts and she quickly apologized and went back to her conversation. After a few more minutes, I heard Esme tell Renee Bella was here. Obviously Renee wanted to speak to her daughter and Esme held out the phone. "Bella, your mom would like to speak with you."

With a glace up at me, Bella released my hand and walked to the phone. I was going to stay and wait for her but Alice grabbed my arm and began pushing me out the backdoor. Her intension was clear. She wanted answers to what she smelled. Although I could have resisted her, I didn't. Bella was not aware of what my family was smelling and thinking this morning and if she did it would only embarrass her.

So with that in mind, I willingly let my sister guide me out of the house and down to the river. She stood beside the water with a smug look on her face. "It's not what you think, Alice."

'You don't know what I'm thinking. I've been very careful about that," she said with a little too much confidence in her voice and I was waiting for her to stick out her tongue at me but it never came. "So tell me. What did you and Bella do last night that has her smelling like she does this morning?"

"Alice." This was not something I was going to talk about. Even to her.

"Oh come on, Edward. Stop being such a prude. We all know you and Bella are going to try to have sex and it looks like some progress must have been made last night."

I sighed. She was not going to let this go. Of course that was typical Alice. "We talked." There see what she'd make of that.

"Talking doesn't do THAT, Edward," she said with narrowed eyes. I shrugged. Alice continued to stare as if SHE were trying to read my thoughts.

All of a sudden her face changed and I saw where her thoughts were going. "No!"

"What?" she asked innocently.

"No, Alice. She doesn't know we can smell it on her and you are not going to embarrass her like that."

Her face fell a little but then she shrugged and smiled. "She'll get over it."

"No."

"Then tell me."

I stood with my fist clenched and my mind racing. Apart from ripping Alice's head off and scattering the pieces, which would only delay the situation, there wasn't much I could do to stop her. Not much except tell her what she wanted to know.

So with my entire body tensed I told her. I explained briefly about our pre bedtime conversation and then what had happened in Bella's sleep. She looked slightly disappointed.

"So you didn't have any part in it?"

"No," I said tersely.

She huffed. "Well that wasn't near as fun as I'd imagined. Pity."

"Are we done now, Alice?"

"Sure."

Before I turned to go though I looked back at my sister. "You won't saying anything to Bella when we get inside?" She shook her head and that was good enough for me. I figured my love would be finished talking to her mother by now and I wanted to get back to her. Alice had already pushed my patience today with her questions. Bella was mine today. And even if we had to leave the house, we were spending the day together.

**Chapter End Notes:**

**No practicing in this one, I know but there was a need for this as you will see in a later chapter. I do hope you all liked the interaction with the Cullens. **

**Next chapter more Jasper time. :)**


	26. Chapter 26

Author's Chapter Notes:

**Okay...so I wasn't going to post this week. I like to have at least an extra chapter written before I post one but I only have part of the next chapter written so I was going to hold this one til next week. But, lucky for you, guilt won out. Now with this said, since I don't have the next chapter finished I can't gaurentee I'll have a chapter up next week but I will try. **

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these wonderful characters.

As it turned out, we didn't have to leave the house. When I returned from my talk with Alice, I found Bella engrossed in a video game with Emmett while Jasper looked on. My brother had double the points she did but my love wore a huge smile and didn't seem to care. The afternoon continued like that with Jasper, Emmett, Bella and me trading off playing the winner of each game.

At five, I took Bella home. I pulled up to her house but didn't turn off the Volvo. Bella sat for a minute waiting for me to shut the car off and get out. When she realized I wasn't, she turned toward me. "You're not coming in." It was a statement.

"No," I gave her a small smile and reached out to touch her cheek. "I thought maybe you'd like to spend some time with Charlie before we leave tomorrow."

She must have seen through my veiled attempt at deflection. "Will you be back tonight after Charlie goes to sleep?"

I sighed. "No."

Her head leaned back against the headrest and she closed her eyes briefly before looking at me again. "Jasper?" she asked.

I nodded.

Neither of us said a word for several minutes and I felt the tension building inside me. What if she didn't want me to go? Last time she had said she was okay with it, with what I was doing. What if she'd changed her mind?

I closed my eyes and felt her move beside me. Then her warm hands came to rest on my face. I sighed and opened my eyes to stare into her beautiful brown ones. "I love you," she whispered.

Then her soft, warm lips brushed against mine. I reached out and pulled her closer, deepening our kiss. She let me lead as I slowly moved my mouth against hers.

I pulled back slightly and rested my forehead against hers. "I'll miss you." She pulled her lower lip inside her mouth and I bit back a growl. I wanted to kiss her again but I could hear Charlie only a mile or so up the road. I moved farther back in my seat and she released my face. My fingers came up to brush first her lips and then her cheek before trailing down her neck. "I'll pick you up at two?"

She nodded. "I'll be ready." Then she smiled and peeked over my shoulder. I knew she could see Charlie. Leaning in quickly, she gave me one last quick kiss before hopping out of the car.

I didn't need to look to know Charlie had gotten out of his cruiser and took in the fact that I was not following his daughter in the house. He was wondering if something was wrong; if we'd had a fight. I quickly dispelled that though when I turned and waved at him with a smile. Reluctantly he smiled back. His thoughts were resigned, if still worried, as he disappeared into the house behind Bella.

When I arrived home, Jasper was waiting for me. I could hear the rest of the family upstairs. Neither of us spoke as we made our way out of the house and began running. As we got farther from the house though, Jasper's thoughts turned back to the curiosity of earlier today and Bella's smell.

My first instinct was defend my mate and I could feel the low growl building in my chest. I suppressed it though as my mind began to ponder how we might be able to use what had happened to cause that smell. That, of course, would mean I'd have to share what had happened with Jasper.

I sighed, resigned. I'd asked for Jasper's help. If he was going to really help me, it would mean talking through some things. And as much as I didn't want to, I would. For Bella.

We arrived in the same clearing we'd been in two nights ago just as the sun was beginning to drift below the mountains. Everything looked just as we'd left it including the fallen tree now with a hole the size of my fist in it.

Jasper and I stood in place for a moment and then moved to mirror our positions from the other night. I sat. He stood.

Remaining silent I could tell he was deliberating whether or not to ask me about Bella. I took a deep breath to calm myself, "You can ask, Jasper."

He shifted his weight to his right foot before speaking. "Did you and Bella…" his voice trailed off.

Jasper didn't finish his sentence out loud but in his mind it was clear. He wanted to know if Bella and I had had sex last night. "No," I answered him. "No." His eyebrow raised in question. "She… She had a dream." There was still a question in his mind. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "She dreamt of me…of us. And she…"

Suddenly the tone of Jasper's mind changed and I knew he now understood. "You were there?"

I nodded. "Yes," and I felt my breathing quicken remembering Bella in my arms last night panting against my neck.

He was sampling my mood. "Wow. That must have been…interesting for you."

I shook my head and looked across the clearing into the trees beyond. "You have no idea." And then with a solemn tone I added, "I almost hurt her."

With that admission, his own tone changed to one of concern. "What happened?"

I head dropped into my hands in shame as I recounted the night's events to him in detail. He listened without responding; even his mind was blank to me. When I finally finished, I raised my head to look at him waiting for his disappointment in my loss of control.

What came out of his mouth next surprised me. "I think Bella's right."

"What?!" I said, standing quickly. I began pacing. I couldn't believe he'd just said that.

Jasper remained where he was but followed me with his eyes. "I agree that you lost some control, Edward, but Bella is right in that you reigned yourself back in the minute you thought you were hurting her." He must have sensed my rebuttal to his statement because he cut me off. "I'm not saying that you should stop trying to prepare yourself for what you two are about to do. And I'm not saying that you shouldn't be cautious. But we've talked about this. You are going to lose control and you are going to have to deal with it when it comes."

I looked at him with pleading in my eyes. "I can't hurt her." It wasn't a statement. It was begging, pure and simple.

He nodded his understanding and straightened. "Where do you want to start?"

We started with Bella's dream. I sat on the ground and closed my eyes and allowed my mind to drift.

Bella's warm body lay beside me, content in sleep. Her length shifted as she began to dream sending whiffs of her floral scent up to me. My love's breathing began to change, hot against my cold skin.

I felt the rhythm of my own breathing pick up as the sensations of last night flowed through me again. I could see the flush of her skin. Feel the weight of her leg as it rested on me.

So caught up in the moment, I barely registered Jasper gradually intensifying the emotions. A small part of me wanted to change the sequence of events; wake her up, or dart from the bed. I resisted though. If this were to work, I would have to work through this and much more.

And so I pushed. I pushed away any thoughts of escape and allowed the scene to overtake me. If I was going to make an error, I wanted it to be here with Jasper, not with Bella.

I could smell the scent of her arousal now. My body reacted just as it had that night, only more, as difficult as that was to believe.

My memory came to the point where I threw myself away from her but I resisted it. I didn't want to pull away and for once I allowed myself to indulge. The seventeen-year-old boy wanted to grind his hips against her and feel the heat she had to offer. I followed the impulse reminding myself that Bella wasn't really here and I couldn't hurt her.

A low growl tore from my chest as I thought of feeling her against me. She'd been happy with the visible sign of attraction for her before and I permitted myself to imagine her reacting favorably to my obvious need.

I was pressing harder now; trying to touch her in any way I could. We were still clothed but that didn't stop me from feeling every bone and muscle in her body. It didn't stop the memory of her scent, her heat, her blood rushing through her veins.

All of a sudden I felt a change in the intensity of my emotions and heard my name. It took me a moment to realize it wasn't Bella it was Jasper.

My eyes flew opened and look of concern covered my brother's face. I looked down and saw once again, my hands had destroyed what was in their possession. Quickly, I threw the grass and soil away and stood. "I'm going to kill her," I muttered.

Jasper was silent for several minutes, waiting for me to calm down. When our eyes met, I found a note of sympathy. It was sympathy I didn't want. This was going to work. It had to.

I walked back over to my place, sitting on the log this time. Closing my eyes, I began again.

On our second attempt, I'd done better. Although I hadn't been able to control the growl from escaping from between my lips, I had managed to keep the pressure in my hands controlled. The tree had not obtained any new damage. And with a sigh of relief we decided to move on.

Sunrise was only a few hours away when Jasper asked me if I needed to get back. "No," I paused. "Bella isn't expecting me until this afternoon."

He knew what I was asking. I wanted to practice more. "What do you want to try next, Edward?"

Again I took a deep breath I didn't need. This was going to be difficult. By speaking these words Jasper would know exactly how little Bella and I had actually done in the way of physical intimacy. I had to do it though. I knew I did. Steeling myself, "I want to…know…what it feels like…" I paused again to take another unneeded breath. "to feel each other…without…clothes." I said the last word with gritted teeth.

I heard Jasper take in a sharp breath. His mind was racing over what this meant. "No wonder you think you're going to hurt her."

I closed my eyes. "I know."

He sat and looked at me for a long moment. "Okay." When I looked at him again he just nodded letting me know he was ready.

I closed my eyes again and let my imagination take me. I pictured Bella lying beside me. We weren't wearing clothing, but I kept my focus on her face. The urge to look was strong. My vampire senses provided me with a good image of what my love would look like without clothing but I tried not to think about that. I knew from experience that no matter what I thought she would look like would be a thousand times better in reality. Bella always exceeded my expectations. I pushed the impulse aside. I didn't need to know what she'd look like. I knew she would be beautiful.

"Okay," I whispered so Jasper knew I was ready. In my mind I moved closer to Bella and tapped into my memory of the parts of her flesh I knew; her hands, her arms, her legs. Then…

On some level I knew it was Jasper's influence; knew that what I was feeling wasn't real. But the thought of Bella and the emotions I felt were very real to me. The intense pleasure of skin sliding against skin sent a roar from my throat not once but twice.

Air was rushing through my lungs at a quickened pace. I could smell everything around me but it was separate. It wasn't part of where I was; with Bella.

I wanted her closer. I needed her closer. My arms pulled her into my embrace and my lips pressed against hers.

My eyes flew open when I felt two hands grip my shoulders. Hands, I realized didn't belong to my love. I found Jasper staring at me

It took me a second to focus but when I did, what I saw frightened me. Through Jasper's mind I saw myself. My eyes were dark and wild. He was trying to suppress the carnal desire flowing through both of us and calm me, but it was too unfocused.

"I'm okay," I said through gritted teeth.

Jasper released me and stepped back giving me some space. I realized then that I was standing with no memory of doing so. Looking, I saw more damage to the tree.

Bella.

My head hung in shame. That could have been Bella.

Jasper must have sensed my distress. "Maybe we should stop for tonight. I think you need to hunt."

"No," I shook my head. "I'll hunt later, on the way back." I went to take my seat on the ground again, placing my palms flat against the soil and closing my eyes. "Again."

**Chapter End Notes:**

**Next chapter they will be heading to Seattle if my fingers can get to typing. :)**


	27. Chapter 27

Jasper and I stayed in our small clearing until the sun had reached its peak in the sky. We had made progress. I just hoped it would be enough.

As we started back toward the house, my brother asked if Bella was looking forward to the weekend in Seattle. "I think so," I said. "She isn't all that excited about me spending money on her." I couldn't help the smirk that came to my lips thinking just how much Bella hating me spoiling her. "Other than that though…" I left my thought unfinished.

He understood what I was saying. _Are you looking forward to it?_

I knew what he was asking and it wasn't about our time at the symphony. "I can only hope, Jasper."

He nodded.

It was then we caught the scent of a herd of deer nearby. Without breaking stride, we both slipped into a hunting crouch and overtook the deer in minutes; feeding in silence.

We were both thirstier than we should be but considering how we'd spent the night it was not surprising. I drank more than my fill, feeling heavy after draining my fourth deer. The hope that it would make what I had planned for the weekend easier center in my mind.

Arriving back at the house, I quickly went to my room. I took the time to shower and dress. As I threw my bag on the bed I noticed something that had not been there before; the _Sex for Dummies Book_. I knew perfectly well I'd tucked it into my desk after returning home from Bella's that night. There was only one person who would have put it there with the intention of me taking it for our weekend away. Alice.

Turning my back on the book, I packed a bag for the weekend. Reaching to close the zipper, my eyes fell once again on the dreaded book and sitting with Bella on her bed reading it. Just thinking about another possible talk filled me with both excitement and dread.

Before I could think it through anymore, I slide the book in the bag, slung it over my shoulder, and reached into the closet to pull out my tux, throwing it over my arm.

Alice passed me on the stairs as I made my way down. She had a slight smirk on her face but kept her thoughts under control. _Bella's all ready. Have fun tonight. I'll be there to pick her up at nine sharp tomorrow morning. _She couldn't resist her parting comment though, "Don't keep her up too late,"my sister admonished. I rolled my eyes and made my way to the door.

Pulling up to Bella's, I noticed Charlie was home. I quickly scanned inside the house for his thoughts but they didn't seem any different than normal. They were just full of concern. He must want to see Bella off.

I knocked on the front door and almost immediately it opened to reveal my love. She was wearing a skirt, obviously Alice's idea. I didn't object though. As always, she was breathtaking.

I went to press a soft kiss to her lips, but saw movement out of the corner of my eye and knew Charlie had entered the room. So with a slight redirect, I placed the kiss on her forehead instead. Logic told me she was my fiancée and I had every right to kiss her on the lips, even in front of her father. Bella herself had made that quite clear just last week. That didn't change the fact that Charlie was very nervous about our weekend alone in Seattle together. If I could provide a little comfort to the man who was giving me his daughter, I would.

Looking up, I locked eyes with Bella's father. "Charlie."

He nodded in acknowledgement. "Edward."

Bella turned to smile at her father then turned that same warm smile on me. "I'll go get my bag."

With that she was off up the stairs leaving me alone with Charlie. We were still standing in the hallway. His mind was racing. It was full of worry and fear. He was trying to justify himself in his mind but knew he couldn't. There was no way he could rightly be upset that his daughter was spending the weekend alone with the man who would become her husband next weekend.

Before he was able to form any words, Bella came back down the stairs with a bag over her shoulder and a dress over her arm. The dress was in a plastic bag and for the most part hidden from me. All I could tell was that it appeared to be red. Blood red. I shook my head. Alice.

Bella reached up on her toes and placed a kiss on her father's cheek. "Bye, dad. I'll see you Sunday."

"Bye, Bells," he said gruffly, his voice tinged with emotion. "You two be careful."

She took her place at my side, placing her hand in mine. "We will dad."

"We'll be back before dinner Sunday evening, Charlie." He just nodded and we left.

Bella was quiet for the first part of our journey. At first I had thought maybe she was tired after spending the morning with Alice, but I noticed she'd started worrying her bottom lip. It was a sure sign she was nervous about something.

The first thought to cross my mind was that she was scared to be alone with me this weekend after what had happened in her room two nights ago. That notion was quickly dismissed since Bella _should _be nervous about being alone with me and my love never reacted how she should.

My second thought was that Alice had said something about yesterday. I didn't see my love's tell tale sign of embarrassment though. Also, my sister had promised not to say anything and I had no reason to doubt she would disregard her vow.

With a sigh I reached over and took her hand in mine lacing our fingers. "Bella, love, what are you thinking?"

Turning so she was looking at me while resting her head against the back of the seat, she took a deep breath. I was getting nervous. What was she going to say? Did she change her mind? Did she want to go back?

I wanted this weekend with her. When the plan had first formulated in my mind I began to see the possibilities. Now after my time with Jasper last night I had high hopes. There was something I wanted to try and my excitement was palatable. My despair at the thought of her asking me to take her back to her house was even more so.

So lost was I in my own thoughts that I almost didn't hear the small voice beside me. "I was wondering how things are going with Jasper?" she paused for five seconds before rushing to finish her thought. "I mean is it helping, do you think?"

With a glance I met Bella's eyes briefly before turning back to the road. This was not a subject I was comfortable talking about. But it seemed that all conversations with her recently held some notes of discomfort for me. Take a deep calming breath I didn't need I squeezed her hand. "Yes. I think it is." And then another thought crossed my mind. "Do you think it's helping?"

She was quiet for several minutes and I could tell she was thinking. Then I saw a smile pull at the edges of her mouth. "Yes," she said, clasping my hand a little tighter.

I couldn't help but smile. I wanted so much to please her.

The rest of the drive to Seattle consisted of sharing what had happened in our time apart. Charlie had questioned her about our weekend and I felt bad for leaving her there alone last night. Blushing, she retold Charlie's second attempt last night of the sex talk. Her father was convinced, no matter what she told him, that we were being intimate. He couldn't imagine two eighteen year olds, a week away from marriage, not having sex.

When I tried to apologize, Bella cut me off. She refused to have me feel bad for her father's misconceptions. No matter what she said though, I still regretted her having to go through her father's lecture without me. We were in this together. And although I knew it was not usual for a young couple nowadays to wait until marriage, it was not totally unheard of either.

Bella asked a little more about my time with Jasper but she didn't press for details. Although I would have given them to her, had she asked, I was very glad she didn't.

I pulled up in front of the Sorrento Hotel. Two of the hotel staff made their way to the car and opened our doors. As I was placing the keys into the gentleman's hand, I heard the thoughts of the one assisting Bella.

He was being a bit too admiring of her legs and the way her shirt clung to her breasts. I prevented myself from growling my disapproval and instead made my way around the vehicle as quickly as a human pace would allow. The man started a little when he noticed my close proximity and seemed slightly abashed at possibly being caught ogling a guest.

Offering my arm, Bella reached to take it after a small knowing smile crossed her beautiful lips. She knew me well. The ogler seemed in a hurry to divert any unnecessary and unwanted attention to himself so he moved almost immediately to remove our bags.

Putting the annoying man's thoughts behind me, I turned back to Bella and smiled. "My love?" She nodded and we headed inside.

Walking through the doors was like stepping into another world. The hotel was built in nineteen hundred eight and the woodwork was impressive. It said luxury.

There were more modern hotels I could have chosen but this weekend was about me sharing myself with Bella. And although I had not visited this particular hotel during my human years, it was exactly the kind I would have.

I felt Bella stop beside me. Turning back I found her eyes on me and I didn't need to ask what she was thinking. Taking a step toward her, I brought my free hand up to cup her face. "Please," I whispered brushing my sweet breath lightly across her face.

Seeing movement behind her, I looked up to find the annoying man bring our bags. When I looked back to Bella, she seemed conflicted but resolved. "Okay."

I knew the smile that covered my face would scare any human who happened to witness it, but I was beyond caring. Bella was giving me this without a fight. I crossed my fingers my luck would continue when she saw the suite I'd booked for us.

We moved to the large front desk to check in. Bella was quiet as I gave my name and received our room key. I did notice a widening of her eyes when the woman behind the desk told us to enjoy our suite. She didn't comment though, so I was counting my blessings.

The valet had given our luggage to a bellhop who followed us into the elevator and up to our suite. Luckily the man's thoughts were preoccupied with plans for his own evening and I took the time to try and relaxed on the ride up. When the doors opened, we were greeted with more warm woods. Leading us down a short hallway, the bellhop took his keys and opened the door allowing us to enter first.

As Bella took in the room, she sucked in a huge breath of air multiple times and I began to fear she'd hyperventilate. I wanted us to be alone as quickly as possible, so I tipped the man and sent him on his way.

My Bella was standing in the center of the living room staring outside. We were on the top level of the hotel and the large windows surrounded us with the city. I moved to her side and she turned to me. Placing both hands on her face, "Bella…" I paused. "Are you…alright?" She didn't answer or move and I started to panic. "Love, what's wrong? Please tell me? Do you need to lie down? Water?"

She shook he head again but remained silent. My vampire mind was running through everything that could be wrong, while taking in the rate of her heart, breathing, skin temperature; anything my acute senses could pick up. Just when I was about to ask again, I felt her arms wrap around my waist and her body lean into mine.

I swallowed and cupped the back of her head holding her close. "Bella…"

"I love you," she whispered. The panic that had been infusing my body quickly released and I realized she'd just been overwhelmed.

We stood there for several minutes just holding each other as I breathed in the scent that held both calm and torture for me. She was so soft in my arms, so breakable. And as much as I couldn't fathom my good fortune… She was mine.

All too soon I was reminded of our dinner reservations at The Hunt Club. Pulling slightly away from her, I lightly brushed the hair away from her face. "We need to head to dinner, love. Do you need to freshen up?" She nodded and I couldn't help but smile when I noticed her reluctance in leaving my arms. "The bathroom is through the door there," I motioned.

Bella reappeared seven minutes later and we were on our way. I had grabbed a dinner jacket to put over my dress shirt and slacks. My loves eyes light up when she saw me and with only a moment's hesitation came to my side. "Are you ready for dinner, Miss Swan?" I asked, smirking appreciatively at the woman next to me.

Squaring her shoulders she smiled at me. "I am, Mr. Cullen."

I couldn't help but chuckle at her returned formality. "Shall we?"

**Chapter End Notes:**

**Okay so we made it to Seattle this chapter. The Sorrento Hotel is a real luxury hotel in Seattle and the suite Bella and Edward are staying in runs around $700 per night. **

**Next will be dinner and the symphony. :)**


	28. Chapter 28

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Just a few small notes for this chapter. The Hunt Club is really in the hotel and the information regarding the symphony hall is acurate as well. **

The elevator doors opened to the lobby and I turned Bella toward the dining room. The Hunt Club was just as elegant as the hotel. I'd done my research and, given my loves aversion to my spending what she felt to be excessive amounts of money on her, I felt this to be the perfect option. It also worked logistically.

As we walked into the restaurant, I gave my name and we were lead to a table in the back. I was very aware of the woman beside me, as always, while we were shown to our seats. She was taking in our surroundings and I held my breath to see if they would meet with her approval.

Bella remained silent as our host pulled out her chair and then handed us our menus. Not until he walked away did she look up at me. And then…then she was shaking her head. What was wrong? "What is it, love?"

She continued to shake her head. "Nothing," she paused and laid down her menu to reach out for my hand, which I opened willingly. Her fingers wrapped around mine and began a soft caress. Tingles of desire moved through my hand, up my arm. "If I forget to tell you later…" Then her voice lowered to a whisper, "Thank you."

Thank you. She said thank you. And even though I knew by no means was she giving me a free pass, she was accepting my gift. I felt a warm heat radiating from my chest that spread through my body.

Picking up our joined hands, I brought her hand to my mouth and let my lips linger a little. I could hear the voices and thoughts as a hum in the background but they meant nothing to me, so I tuned them out and focused solely on the reason for my life, my existence.

A thought broke through the veil of voices in my mind. It was our waiter. He was trying to be discrete and wait until our intimate moment was complete. I could have stayed in our position for the next several hours and been content but we did have someplace to be.

With a final press of my lips to her flesh, I released her hand. Her cheeks were flushed in the beautiful reddish pink color I love and it deepened as the waiter took that moment to approach us.

Unfortunately, my love had not had the opportunity to look over the menu. Jason, our waiter, took our drink order and left once again. Bella quickly picked up her menu and choose something I knew to be on the less expensive side of the selections offered.

When the waiter returned, Bella gave him her order of Chicken Marsalla and then wrote down my selection of filet minion. After he'd left, I turned back to Bella, whose face was clearly questioning. I decided to play along. "What?" I asked.

"Filet minion?"

"Yes," I stated, still serious. "We are here to eat dinner, are we not?"

Her lips pursed in a cute pout as she considered how to respond. But in the end she didn't say anything; just picked up her coke and drank. When her eyes came up to meet mine again they were bright and thoughtful. She'd figured out my plan.

At length, she set her soda down and sat back. "Alice made me promise her I wouldn't let you keep me up to late tonight. I think she has plans for tomorrow."

I laughed. "Yes. She said something along those lines to me."

All at once, Bella's face flushed and her eyes flickered down. She was so beautiful. My fingers itched to touch her, to be rid of the space between us. I wanted to know what she was thinking about, although I had an idea.

Her eyes lifted slightly, still hooded by her lashes. I felt a pressure that started in my chest and began to work its way down.

Then her voice floated across to me in a soft whisper. "I'm not going to listen to Alice though."

The statement was so innocent, but the meaning behind it was not. Her body language was clear and I dug my fingers into my thighs to keep from doing something I shouldn't. This woman was more desirable than she could possibly imagine. With that one statement, I wanted to forgo the symphony, our dinner, and take her back to the room right now.

I needed to calm down. My entire body was clenched tight in anticipation. I was excited about tonight on so many levels but it was not helping me now.

In an effort to redirect and refocus, I forced my right hand from my lap and picked up my napkin. With practiced ease, I opened it and placed it in my lap. Then, closing my eyes, I let myself drown in her heartbeat while taking deep breaths, inhaling her scent.

When I looked back up, Bella was smiling at me. Maybe she was finally realizing the true power she had over me. I smiled back.

Jason brought our meals a few minutes later and refilled our drinks. I watched her take the first few bites. "I'm told the food here is very good."

She nodded. "Yes, it is."

While she took another bite, I reached for my knife and fork. I cut a bite size piece of filet and placed it on the tip of the utensil.

Bella was watching me covertly. Her head came up though, as I lifted the fork and reached across the table. She hesitated for just a second before leaning in and taking the meat between her lips. Ah. Seduction. She would be the death of me.

Our dinner continued in a similar manner with me 'sharing' my meal with Bella. We had attracted the attention of a few of the other diners. The comments were all pleasant in nature and I enjoyed seeing from an outsiders view just how much our love for each other showed.

The waiter approached and offered desert. I could see Bella was going to refuse so I spoke first requesting the chocolate mousse. After the waiter left, I turned back to my love to find her smiling, I quirked an eyebrow questioning.

"Do you like moose?" I wasn't sure at first if I should laugh or not. Of course, she'd ask me some off the wall question like 'did I like moose.' Before I could answer, though, she added in a completely straight face, "I mean, I know there isn't chocolate but…"

She was teasing. And then the decision was made for me as I burst out laughing. Bella soon followed and we were both in a fits of giggles as Jason brought the thick chocolate desert to our table.

With a generous tip to our waiter, we headed back to our room. I kept a light hand on her back as we made our way upstairs. Watching her face in the reflecting metal of the elevator, I delighted in how happy she seemed. It still never failed to amaze me how much this woman loved me.

We walked hand in hand down the short hall to our room. Inside, I picked up our things and carried everything minus my tux into the master bedroom.

Bella followed me and hearing a soft gasp, I turned. Her eyes were wide and round as she took in the room. It was large, almost as big as the main room. In the center was a huge king sized bed, already turned down and ready for its occupants.

I moved toward her taking her warm hands in mine once again. She turned her head and looked at me. "Edward…"

It was said on a whisper. I feared her protest. So I said the only thing I could, "Please."

Her eyes filled with moisture. But instead of crying or yelling or any of the other reactions I 'd been expecting, she freed her hands from mine, placed her palms at the base of my head, and pulled herself up until her lips brushed against mine.

When she pulled back, the moisture was still in her eyes but her lips held a smile. "It's beautiful."

She liked it. The desire to kiss her again surged through me and I didn't resist it. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pulled her against me. My lips weren't as gentle as hers had been. I wanted to convey my gratitude for her acceptance. It meant more to me than she'd ever know.

After a minute I pulled away. We needed to get ready.

Bella smiled up at me. I wanted to pick her up, take her to the bed and just enjoy her. My mind and body knew what it wanted and leaving this room was not on the list.

"I guess I should get ready." It was said so soft I almost missed it even with vampire hearing. I knew I would have to focus. Bella was just too distracting.

Taking a step back to put some space between us, I motioned to her things. She brushed a lock of hair behind her ear and walked over to pick up her dress and another small bag before disappearing into the bathroom.

I stood there for a minute just looking at the door she'd disappeared behind. A fierce but tender sense of possession filled me. Mine. All mine. Forever.

Time seemed to stop as I stood and listened to the movement in the bathroom. I could hear her slipping out of her clothes, washing her face, brushing her teeth. The sound of more clothes shifting made me realize she was already putting on the dress and I hadn't moved.

With speed I left the room, took my tux in the other bedroom and changed. I was back in our bedroom in less than two minutes. There were only muffled sounds coming from Bella now. And looking into the mirror just in front of me, I wondered what she would think.

The last time I'd been in a tux we'd gone to the prom and she wore a cast from her encounter with James. It had been awkward on many levels, her discontent over dancing and going to the dance in general to my guilt over her near death. The difference between then and now was like night and day. Then I was still afraid to touch her, kissing my love was a challenge, now we were only a week away from attempting to show our love in the most physical way possible.

That night she'd thought I was going to make her like me and I had been insistent that I would never do that to her. Now, she was my fiancée. She was freely giving herself to me forever and I was gladly accepting her gift. I couldn't lose her and the knowledge that I wouldn't ever have to be parted from her again brought another surge of warmth through my veins.

The bathroom door opened and I turned to see Bella. I sucked in a deep breath and my entire midsection burned; my throat from her scent, everywhere else from the sheer sight of her.

My love walked toward me until she was only a foot away. She was wearing the red dress Alice had given her. Two sheer pieces of fabric wrap around her neck and disappeared in between her breasts. The dress molded itself to her curves and draped over her hips before coming to a stop just below her knees. It was incredibly deceptive, modest but very provocative. I swallowed.

Bella looked up, her eyes wide as she took me in as well. Then she stepped closer and laid her hands on my chest. I knew if my heart was still beating it would be racing just as hers was now. I brought my hands up to her back and instead of meeting with fabric there was only skin, only Bella.

I closed my eyes and pulled in another breath, enjoying another harsh burn. My fingers brushed against the warm flesh. I was losing my resolve. "We need to leave," I finally managed to choke out.

"Yes," she whispered.

Even being in agreement, it took us several minutes to remove ourselves from the trance we were in.

I placed the wrap Alice had provided around my love's shoulders as we moved to the door. Pausing for just a split second, I turned the heat on in the room before leaving.

The car ride was full of soft intimate touches, holding hands or when hands weren't available, touching arms or shoulders.

We arrived at Benaroya Hall twenty minutes before the performance was to start. There were people everywhere in the lobby area waiting for the start. I heard Bella's intake of breath and her heart rate pick up. Looking over, I saw a look of wonderment on her face.

I stepped behind her and pulled her up against me. "Do you like it, love?"

She nodded. "Edward, it's beautiful."

Bella was right of course. The building was beautiful. It was fairly new, only built about ten years before. I'd been here several times between our move back to Washington and meeting Bella. This would be my first time sharing it with someone other than my family though.

Seeing several groups begin to make their way into the Auditorium, I guided us both through the crowd and up the stairs. There weren't as many people up here, but there were enough. Bella still seemed to be in awe of our surroundings, stealing glances through each of the boxes as we moved.

She took notice of everything, making me stop several times so she could get a longer look from a certain angle. When we finally made it to our box, she stood for several minutes just looking out over the seats below. It wasn't until the musicians began taking their seats that she came to sit down beside me.

At eight o'clock the lights dimmed and the conductor took his position. Bella straightened in her seat and jumped as the first hard note was played. I had to work hard to hold in my amusement.

I spent the entire evening watching her. My eyes glanced only twice at what was going on below. Bella was much more fascinating to me. She was enjoying herself and that was all that mattered. A couple of times she recognized a piece and would turn to catch my eye. I would just smile back.

When it was over, we walked with our fingers entwined back through the throng of people to our car.

The night was warm and her wrap was more than sufficient but I always worried when we were touching. As soon as we were outside and away from the crowd, she ducked under my arm, leaning into me. I was trying to keep my hand on top of the material of her wrap or dress but it was difficult. Bella seemed determined to have skin-to-skin contact.

Luckily we made it to the car with little difficulty and headed for the hotel. Bella rested her head against the seat and closed her eyes. If not for the rhythm of her breathing and the way she held my hand, I would have thought her asleep.

Pulling up, the valet took the keys from me. As he pulled away, I walked with Bella into The Sorrento.

**Chapter End Notes:**

**So we didn't make it back to the hotel room this time. It will make next chapter all the more satisfying though. :) **

**I wanted to remind all of you that there is a thread for this story on the Twilighted forum under Breaking Dawn. Can I just say the word dead comes to mind when I think of it. I really do feel like I'm talking to myself. Stop by and say hi. **


	29. Chapter 29

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**This chapter was a challenge from start to finish. I had some very specific things I wanted to accomplish here. **

**I had several comments in reviews last chapter about Bella going along with everything so easily. She's only do this because she did agree to it. The only thing she specificly asked Edward not to spend too much on was dinner and he honored her request. Bella sticks to her decisions once she's made them so she isn't going to complain. **

**Alright, enough of my talk. On with the chapter. :)**

My body was humming with nerves and excitement by the time we reached the suite. Bella appeared to be in a similar state based on the slight increase in both the pace and intensity of her heart.

We stood just inside the door for several minutes before my love turned to me biting her lower lip. I closed the distance between us, reaching out to rub my thumb against the plump softness of her mouth. Taking a deep breath, "Why don't you get ready for bed?" I saw the protest in her eyes. "Take your time. I'll be waiting for you when you're done."

She studied my face for a minute before stepping back and heading into our bedroom. I stood completely still after she left my side listening to her movement in the other room.

It wasn't until I heard the door to the bathroom close and the water of the shower turn on that I entered. The overnight bag I'd brought with me sat on a chair in the corner. I opened it and selected the pair of pajama pants. There were times I was very grateful for my sister and her shopping habit.

My eyes flicked to the book I'd brought along. I had mixed feelings about it where Bella was concerned. The logical part of my brain kept insisting it was alright, a good idea even. I just couldn't shake my upbringing though. The one that shouted to me how inappropriate it was.

I pushed away the thought and put it in the back of my mind. Bella was expecting me to be waiting for her as I'd promised and I needed to get ready for bed myself. Taking the new addition to my wardrobe, I crossed through the living room into the smaller bedroom.

I moved quickly. In less than five minutes, I was showered, dressed and lying in bed with the _Sex For Dummies_ book laying on the nightstand beside me. My love was out of the shower as well. I could hear her moving about inside the bathroom.

Closing my eyes I concentrated on the soft movements behind the door. The water being turned on and then a rough brushing sound. I smiled. Bella was brushing her teeth.

Not long after, the water was turned off and I heard rustling. She was digging in her bag for something. Then quiet for three seconds before I heard a very low, very soft sound. I'd heard it before many times when I'd concentrated like this waiting for her in her bedroom. Bella was brushing her hair.

I remembered the way my love reacted to my fingers massaging her scalp. Would she enjoy me brushing her hair too? It was something to consider. If not now, maybe on the island, praying all went well with our attempt.

All the ways things could not go well started running through my mind: my strength, my bloodlust, my teeth. My anxiety began to increase and I knew I needed to calm down. We weren't there yet. Far from it. There was time. Time to practice being closer to her and time to work with Jasper more. Bella would be okay. She had to be okay.

I was so lost in my thoughts that only the door opening brought me back to reality. Looking up I found Bella standing just inside the room wearing her usual summer bedtime attire of shorts and a tank top, her hair still wet and flowing smoothly around her shoulders.

It took me another moment to register the rapid pace of her heart and her shallow breathing. Her cheeks were flushed slightly, too. My eyes met hers briefly. They were wide and dark.

Then I noticed what she was looking at, my chest. My bare chest. She'd seen my naked torso before, well most of it anyway, but this was different, for both of us.

I took a deep breath and swallowed. "Bella?" I whispered loud enough for her to hear me. She didn't move though, didn't divert her attention from my body. "Bella, love?" I said a little louder.

This time she heard me and raised her eyes. I couldn't help but smirk when I noticed her flush deepened and extend down to her neck and shoulders. A shiver of desire coursed through me. Bella. My beautiful Bella.

My love closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, they were steadier and her breathing more regulated. Her heart was still beating faster than normal.

I watched as she moved toward the opposite side of the bed and slipped under the covers. She situated herself about a foot away. I waited to see what she would do. And for several very long minutes she didn't do anything expect watch me.

Then, reaching out her hand slowly, she placed it over my heart in the most gentle of touches. Closing my eyes, I absorbed the feeling of heat from her palm as it rested against me. So much was in just that one touch and I never wanted it to end.

Her voice came in a whisper so sweet and full of love. It was just my name but it was questioning as her eyes searched mine. I met her gaze and held it. "I thought…" I started but then stopped. How did I ask?

Bella's eyes were watching me closely and I had no idea how much my face betrayed my nerves, my uncertainty. I closed my eyes and tried once again. "I thought we could try…you touching me," I whispered in what I knew was a shaky voice at best.

Holding my eyes shut, I waiting for her reaction. I heard nothing, felt no movement. Her hand was still searing through my chest. I, Edward Cullen, who had faced down countless immortal creatures over the years, was being a coward. And the suspense of not knowing was torture.

Opening my lids, I saw a light in my loves eyes I'd never seen before. She held my stare and then shifted, removing her hand and placing it back in her lap. Then her mouth pulled up at the edges slightly. "What are the rules?"

I breathed a sigh of relief. She understood. "Skin," I said. Then I thought maybe I should clarify. "I need to see…to feel." Taking a deep breath and picking up her hand I said, "Bella, I would very much like it if you would touch me, however you'd like, where my skin is exposed."

This, of course, was basically limited to my chest and arms but I was giving her free reign of that part of my body. I wouldn't stop her unless I felt a total loss of control about to happen. It was a big step for me but necessary. My practice with Jasper would hopefully help but I knew feeling my love physically near me was much different than fantasizing about it.

I was again pulled out of my revelry by her movement. She sat back on her heels. "Okay," she said, biting her lower lip.

Reaching out with my thumb, I rubbed softly, feeling the rougher edges of her teeth against my skin. A thought occurred to me at that moment and I smirked. "No biting though."

This broke the tension a little and she laughed. I smiled back and removed my hand from her face , placing it at my side. "Shall I lay down?"

Her only answer was a nod. I moved my body lower so that I was lying flat on the bed looking up at her. Bella's eyes showed her apprehension but they were also brimming with excitement. She watched me for three minutes and twenty seconds before sliding her body closer to mine. Keeping my hands flat at my sides, I waited to see what she would do first.

Leaning in, her damp hair fell over her shoulders cocooning me in her sent as she brought her lips to mine for a kiss that was soft and loving. "I love you," she whispered. As she looked into my eyes, I could see the pure depth of that love and it thrilled me.

Our eyes held as I felt her hands move to my collarbone. The fingers of her right hand skimmed the ridged form beneath my skin on first my right and then my left side while her other hand rested just below. It was only a breath of a touch but it created a sizzling sensation under my flesh.

I was breathing deep, taking in the potent scent of her so close. She held my eyes as her hands graced down over my chest. Her fingers brushed my nipples and I tensed, flexing my fingers. It felt amazing having her touch me like this and my eyes closed as I let the feeling take me over.

There was no way to know if Bella was still watching my reactions but I had the feeling she was. My love knew this was a big step for me. I was giving her control, trusting her to stay within the boundaries I'd set. A part of my brain rebelled against giving her this leverage over me but I knew that was only my insecurities, my fear. Carlisle was right. Bella was right. My wife, my partner, my mate; I had to trust her with everything. We had to trust each other if this was going to work.

Her hands moved lower ghosting over my stomach toward the waistband of my pants. Again a part of my mind screamed at me to stop her; to tell her she was getting to close. I ignored it. She would stop. I trusted her.

And she did stop. But not until she had gone as far as the boundaries I'd set would allow. The light touch of her fingers ran along my waistband causing me to suck in several breaths I didn't need.

Suddenly her touch stopped. She was still touching me but no longer moving. A part of my mind registered an increase in my love's heart and my eyes snapped open to find her.

Bella wasn't looking at my face though. She was looking down at her hand. No, not at her hand. Lower.

I stopped breathing as I realized what she was looking at. Me.

And I was only now realizing how close she really was. My mind started racing. Shouting at me to do something, anything.

I didn't though. It took all the strength I had to lay still. What was going through her mind? I knew what was going through mine.

Bella had felt me a few times now through our clothing and in a way this was no different, except it was. The seventeen year old in me wanted her to touch me. But I wasn't a normal seventeen year old, and even if propriety wasn't holding me back the knowledge that I may not be able to handle such a step and hurt her was.

I waited and watched her. She was so still and I felt myself twitch under her penetrating gaze. The small movement should have been invisible to her but I knew instantly that she'd seen it when her lips parted slightly and she exhaled with more force than normal.

The fire where she was currently touching me intensified and my breathing became deep and heavy again as I tried to focus and calm myself down. My hands were plastered to the mattress. The desire to forget our objective tonight, pull her against me and taste her was beyond strong.

Focus. I needed to focus. And a distraction, that's what I needed. Bella.

With sheer determination, I closed my eyes and let her heart beat provide me the piece of calm I so greatly needed. Putting effort into relaxing my hand, I reached up and touched her forearm.

As soon as my cold fingers touched her, her eyes flashed up to mine. I didn't say anything. I didn't know if I could.

Her eyes searched my face and she removed her hands. I was both grateful and mournful over this. But it was Bella's turn. She was in control tonight. I would wait to see what she would do next.

It took several minutes but when she did move, it was to stretch out her own body beside me. Heat was radiating from her body; her heat, her heartbeat, her sent; they all reminding me of her life, her soul. A wave of guilt threatened to overtake me and I forced it away just as the pads of Bella's fingers caressed the side of my face and her lips hovered over my cheek barely touching me. I shivered.

Bella had power over me like no other. I'd faced more than one deadly vampire for her and I'd gladly face down an entire army if need be. This wonderful woman was mine.

My thoughts were interrupted as her lips began moving down to my neck. Her touch was so light, so loving, but I could feel everything. She slowed her movements when she reached that part of my throat where my pulse should be. Then she licked me.

A hundred shots of electricity, all emanating from her tongue against my hard skin, sent the muscles in my body tensing. My fists clenched in response. The burn in my throat intensified and my breathing became labored. How in the world could one touch of her soft, warm tongue do this to me? Is this how it feels to her?

Then I felt Bella's warm hand press against my left arm and slide down to curl around my fingers. Slowly, she coxed them once again into a relaxed position. "Are you okay?" she whispered. I was still reeling from the memory of what she'd just done but I answered yes anyway.

Her lips were hovering just above my throat. I could feel every breath she exhaled. Then she asked the words that made my dead heart ache. "Do you want me to stop?"

No! My mind screamed. Yes! The more logical part of my brain screamed back. The internal argument sped through my mind. I needed to give her an answer, a verbal one.

It must have taken me too long though because I felt her pull away. NO! I didn't want that.

Reaching out with lighting speed I grabbed the arm that was pulling away from me. She froze and our eyes met. "No," I stated with as much conviction as I could. "I don't want you to stop."

I released her arm as quickly as I'd taken possession of it and lay back in my original position. Bella didn't stir though. She made no move to pick up where she'd left off. My love just watched me.

So much emotion flashed across her face. She was worried about me. I tried to convey what I wanted to say back to her without words.

Eventually she relaxed again and buried her face in my shoulder. I felt her lips brush against my hard muscles. They were so soft, so warm. Just like her.

Our little respite helped to calm me down but now as her mouth began moving lower I felt that familiar heat in the middle of my body. Concentrating on keeping my hands relaxed, I closed my eyes and just tried to enjoy. No one could do this to me except her.

My love kissed and licked her way over most of the skin of my torso with her hands trailing behind. Venom was trickling down my throat in regular intervals now that she'd was only inches away from the aching need I had for her. The shouts to stop her again filled my head. I ignored them and concentrated on her. She wouldn't go lower. I knew she wouldn't.

And she didn't.

What she did do though was almost as bad as my worst fear. My love shifted her body and literally slid her way up until her face was once again level with mine. Her hands gripped my hair and her thigh lay between my legs pressing against me. Bella's eyes, when they found mine, were dark with passion and all at once my ability to keep my hands off her was lost.

My arms wrapped around her waist closing what little distance there was still between us and my lips pressed into hers. There was no hesitation for her either. She met my mouth with equal passion.

Her fingers tugging my hair felt so good. The heat from her back underneath my fingers only intensified the fire within me. I wanted to consume her, to make her mine.

Bella shifted the lower half of her body and I felt the growl build in my throat a split second before I heard it. She felt so good against me. My mate.

Without a conscious thought, my right hand moved lower as my left moved up to tangle in her hair. The hand in her hair mimicked a lighter tugging motion to the one her hands were performing while my other hand continued on its journey lower past the waistband of her shorts. The soft, full curves of my love filled my hand and I heard the moan deep in her chest as she moved her hips against me causing me to exhale quickly.

I wanted her. Now. My hand slipped lower to the junction of her legs. I could feel the heat; the glorious heat of her.

My cold fingers brushed against the bare skin just below her shorts and I could feel the moisture underneath my tips. She was so soft and it would be so easy to do what I wanted and shift just a few inches higher.

Bella moved again, pressing herself even harder against me. "Edward," she moaned.

She wanted this. My love wanted this just as much as I did. Brushing my thumb up the trail of wetness, I reached the barrier of her panties and a light bulb went off in my head.

No. No, I couldn't do this. We couldn't do this.

Moving my hand down a little, I stilled both the movements of my fingers and mouth. "Bella…"

We were both breathing hard and her sweet scent washed over me. I closed my eyes concentrating on her heartbeat. It would calm me, just like it always did. I just had to let it.

"Edward?" she said softly. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, keeping my eyes closed, not quite ready to speak.

Her hands cupped my face, caressing me. "Why did you stop?"

Swallowing, I opened my eyes and saw the most beautiful thing in my world. Her face was so full of love. How did I deserve her?

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes." I breathed deep feeling the burn in my throat with open arms.

She was still pressed against me. I needed space but I didn't want her away from me. The need to touch her was still there, was always there.

I pressed her against my shoulder and moved her to lie beside me in the position we'd laid in most nights. Bella allowed me the silence of my thoughts. She didn't pressure me to answer her but eventually I did. "I had to stop."

"It was getting too much for you?"

A soft chuckle left my lips and she looked up. "No."

Her eyebrow rose in question. I responded by placing a kiss on her hair and encouraging her to snuggle back against me. She did.

"Love, if I didn't stop us…"

"Yes?"

Holding her tighter, I admitted my weakness. "If we had gone much farther, I don't know if I would have been able to stop." Then I looked down at her. "Unless you've changed your mind about waiting until after the wedding?"

She shook her head. "No. You're right. We should wait."

Holding her quietly in my arms I enjoyed the feel of her arm as my fingers moved. After a few minutes, I felt her try to stifle a yawn. "Are you tired, love?" I breathed against her forehead.

"Mmm. A little."

"Rest then." I looked over at the clock and noticed it was already two in the morning. It was well past her bedtime. "You have a big day with Alice tomorrow."

She groaned. "I know. Shopping."

My chest rumbled with my amusement. "It will be okay. I'm sure you'll survive."

Bella sighed and her arm draped over my chest. "Maybe," she said, yawning again. "I just wish you could come to."

I kissed her hair again and rested my cheek against her. "I'll be here when you get back and then we can spend the rest of the evening together."

"Okay," she whispered sleepily.

It was the last word she uttered before I heard her heart and her breathing slow into the blissful pull of sleep.

**Chapter End Notes: **

**Next chapter will cover Saturday morning and day. I'm not sure if we will get to evening though, I doubt it. But I will post a teaser up on the forum thread sometime next week. **


	30. Chapter 30

Author's Chapter Notes:

**Hello. :)**

**Someone asked about Edward taking showers. This is my take on the subject. Although vampires don't sweat and need to take showers for the same reasons humans do, they, just like any other inanamiate object pick up dirt from their environment. Since the Cullen's interact with humans so frequently, I see them taking shower to rid themselves of this dirt b/c unlike nomatic vamps they aren't away from human contact long enough for it to 'naturally' be taken care of. Again, just my view.**

I managed to make it until four thirty lying in bed with Bella nestled at my side. It was different without my shirt adding to the barrier between us. She was warm, warmer than usual. And soft, so soft. With the heat turned up in the suite her overall body temperature stayed at a comfortable level curled against my cold skin and the contrasting softness against my solid marble frame was accentuated.

Once she'd drifted off to sleep, her steady breathing and rhythmic heart kept me company. They helped me to remain calm as my mind kept replaying our evening together. She had enjoyed our time so far, even dinner and the symphony.

Every detail was etched into my memory and I would never forget. Not even later when she'd touched me, when I'd let her touch me. And although it still made me nervous I couldn't help but smile. I had done what I'd set out to do tonight and we'd accomplished it together. Tonight was the first time the thought had crossed my mind that there was a real possibility we could do this.

Just before four the talking started. I was overjoyed at first. I always loved to hear my loves unguarded thoughts when she slept. It was the one time I got an unedited view of what was on her mind. The words tonight were mumbled and incoherent for the most part. 'Smooth' was the only semi comprehensible sound I could make out.

A similar pattern went on over the next half hour with breaks of several minutes in between. But around four twenty her heart rate gradually doubled it's speed. I looked down to make sure she was alright. Nothing appeared to be wrong though so I settled back against my pillow again and held her close to me.

Then two minutes ago, Bella began rubbing her hands and lips against my chest murmuring my name. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself but then she began moving her body along with her hands. There was no doubt as to what she was dreaming and why those thought were in her head. I should have known this would happen again given our pre-bedtime activities.

It was only natural. Those same thoughts were not far from my mind even now.

I tried to still the movements of her hands and her body without waking her but it was impossible. She was moving in a steady rhythm that was in time with her breathing. My flesh tingled with electricity everywhere we were touching and my instinct to pick up where we'd left off was strong. I could though. I knew that.

So with everything I had in me, I gently rolled her over enough to slide my body free from hers. And before she could reach out for me in her sleep as she'd done so many times before, I sped to the far side of the room.

In silence I watched as she rolled back over to where I'd been only a minute ago. Her moans were driving me insane. I wanted to cover her mouth with my own and mingle my own needy sounds with hers.

A warm flush flowed up her neck to her cheeks and I wanted to feel the warm rush of blood I knew would be there under by fingertips.

Beneath the thin sheet covering the lower half of her body her legs began to move and rub together. A faint scent of her arousal floated to my nostrils and I had to bite back a groan. She would be the death of me.

Then her thighs rubbed together seeking the relief I knew she desired.

I couldn't take it anymore. If I stayed and she called out to me again, I'd go to her and all would be lost. So before I could think it over, I left the room.

Pausing just long enough to turn the heat back down to normal, I made my way out to the balcony just off the living room.

Outside I was overlooking the front of our hotel. It was still early, and a Saturday. There wasn't much movement below other than the occasional car going past. A few buildings were still lit, not yet dimmed in preparation for the coming dawn.

Here it was peaceful and I took a deep breath trying to regain my balance. That was hard without Bella. She is and always would be my center, my calm, my balance. And even with this little distance between us I could hear her in the other room.

My fist curled around the railing, my fingers flexing with each breath I took. I needed to distract myself so I began counting the windows of each of the buildings I could see. There were 5,378 that were visible from here.

I needed something else, something a little more difficult. Then I noticed in one of the windows closest to me there was a Seattle Mariners logo. I scanned around and found another.

This would work perfectly. It took more concentration since not every window was the same. I would actually have to look at each and every one.

Halfway through my count I heard a moan come from the bedroom, louder than the rest. If I hadn't known any better, I would have thought she was in pain. I did know better though and the lower half of my body did too.

Sinking to the ground, my head feel into my hands. I wanted so badly to be the one making her sound like that. My name was on her lips as she released, I could hear it, breathy and shallow, but there.

Soon. One more week and we would try. I needed this as much as she did. My hand came down to brush over my erection but I pulled it away. No. My release belongs to her. And only her. There was so much I wanted to give her but could not. This was within my power of giving and I was determined to make it so.

In approximately two hundred and three hours, Bella would be my wife.

At seven thirty, my cell phone rang. I didn't need my sister's physic abilities to know it would be her. "Alice," I answered.

"Good morning, dear brother. And how is Bella this morning? Did she get plenty of sleep?"

The way she said it let me know she already knew the answer to both questions. I only answered the first though. "She's still sleeping. I was just about to order her breakfast."

"Well what are you waiting for," she stated, her tone disapproving. "I'll be there in just over an hour and she needs to be ready," she paused only briefly. A human wouldn't have noticed but I did. "And she'd better not be completely worn out before we start, Edward. I have plans for us today."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath. "Alice…"

She cut me off, "I know, I know. This is your weekend and I'm butting in. Too bad little brother. She's my best friend and as maid of honor I have responsibilities."

The two words that stuck out there were 'maid of honor' and 'responsibilities'. "Alice…"

"Oh stop it. I'm not going to do anything rash. This is Bella. She wouldn't let me anyway."

The pout in her voice was clear and I couldn't help but chuckle. She was right. Bella would let Alice push her to a point but then my love's stubborn streak would kick in and not even my sister could budge her if she didn't wish it. "I'll make sure she's ready by nine as promised."

"Thank you," she said, obviously satisfied and hung up.

A knock on the door twenty minutes later announced the arrival of Bella's breakfast. A young woman not much older than my love wheeled a cart into the room and placed it beside the small dining room table positioned beside the kitchenette. She turned to me with a polite smile. "Will there be anything else, sir?"

"No, thank you," I said as I handed her a tip. She accepted it gracefully, nodded and took her leave.

I could smell the food hidden under its metal coverings. The aroma was completely unappetizing to me but I knew Bella would enjoy it.

Walking back into our room for the first time since early this morning I was hit by the lingering scent of her arousal. And although it was not the first time I'd experienced it, how it affected me didn't change. I swallowed down the fresh venom and took another deep breath of the scent, willing myself to adjust.

After a while I was able to calm my body's reactions and the poison stopped flowing. Taking several steps forward I sat on the edge of the bed and hovered over my angel. Her hair was tangled from her earlier movements and a soft sheen of sweat glistened at her hairline. Reaching up, I trailed my fingertips lightly across her brow, down her cheek, over her pink lips and down her neck to her collarbone.

My love stirred but didn't wake. Leaning down I began to follow the same trail with my lips. First over her brow, then her cheek…her lips… "Edward," she sighed.

As my lips continued on their path down her neck to her collarbone I answered her, "Yes, love?" Her hands came up and found purchase in my hair nearly causing my own sigh to escape.

She spoke no other words as I finished with one side and started a path back up the other. This time when I reached her beautiful lips she gripped tighter to my hair trying to hold me. I smiled and obliged allowing the warm pillows of her mouth to mold against my own hardened flesh.

Our kiss this morning was soft and welcoming but hinted at the passion waiting beneath the surface. And as much as I craved to take our explorations of last night farther, Alice was on her way and I had promised to have Bella ready.

When I pulled back slightly giving us both some air, Bella moaned a soft protest. I chuckled. "Good morning, love."

"Mmmm," she sighed and smiled at me. I would never get used to that smile. "Good morning."

I brushed a strand of hair back from her face. "I ordered you some breakfast. It's in the other room."

She nodded and released my hair. "I suppose I could eat."

I stood and she followed entwining her fragile fingers with mine. We stopped at the table and I released her hand so I could pull out her chair for her. She sat down and before taking my own seat at her side, I removed the decorative tops covering the food.

I felt Bella's eyes on me and turned to find her staring with a mixture of irritation and disbelief. There was no need for her to voice the cause of her emotions so I tried to explain. "I didn't know what you would want, love, so I ordered a variety."

That didn't seem to pacify her as the hardness behind her eyes increased. "You could have asked."

I sighed. "Bella, you were up late last night." At that a slight blush tinged her cheeks. "I wanted you to get as much rest as possible so I let you sleep." This seemed to calm her slightly. "Alice can be a handful for me who doesn't require rest. I don't want you to faint with exhaustion before the day is up…" I was going to go on but at the mention of Alice her face fell.

Bella's hands came up to rub her face and she groaned. "Alice…"

Never liking to see her in pain, emotional or otherwise, I reached out and pulled her head against my chest. My hand rubbed small circles on her back to comfort her. "You know you can tell her no."

A soft laugh escaped her lips. "No I can't."

I laughed with her for a minute before I brushed the hair away from her cheek. Placing a kiss on the top of her forehead, I pulled back to look into her face. "You should eat, love. Alice will be here at nine. You know she likes to get to the stores early." She groaned again but sat back up in her seat reaching for the plate of fruit.

I laughed as she made a determined effort to take a bite of each and everything thing in front of her. After she went once around, she picked what she liked best and continued eating her fill.

Twenty minutes later she sat back in her seat declaring she was full. "How much time do we have?" she asked.

"About fifteen minutes."

She sighed and got up, heading toward our room. I stayed in the living area to wait for Alice.

My sister didn't disappoint. At five minutes to nine there was a knock on the door and I could hear her thoughts clearly. She was dissecting a preview of the Chanel fall line she'd received. Apparently she saw a few areas that could use some improvement.

When I opened the door though she was all smiles as she bounced through the doorway. "Morning. Where's Bella?"

I laughed. "Well, hello to you too, sister." She just gave me a sly smile in response as I closed the door. "She's getting ready," I said as I motioned toward the bedroom.

Before even my sister could react, my love was heading towards us in jeans and a t-shirt that fit her perfectly. "Hi, Alice," she greeted my sister warmly but came directly to my side wrapping her arms around my waist.

Alice noticed this and frowned. "Bella."

It took a minute but her pout had the desired effect on my love and she turned her face up to mine for a kiss. Bending down I felt her mouth gently caress mine. It was so soft, almost non-existent, but I felt the air rush beneath her lips as we parted.

She pulled away from me and Alice immediately took hold of her arm guiding her away from me. "Bella we are just going to have the best time. I have so much planned for us today."

My sister rattled on as they headed down the short hallway to the elevator. I felt the ache of our separation already and it would be hours before we saw each other again. Alice would keep her safe, I knew. It was a comfort all be it a small one.

It wasn't until they were already out of sight that I realized even after Alice had stepped into the room she had still been going over the new fall collection. She was hiding her thoughts from me. There was something she didn't want me to know and it didn't take a genius to figure out it had something to do with Bella.

Should I go after them? And do what? Drag Bella back here without knowing what my sister was keeping secret? I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. No, that wasn't a good plan. Alice would be upset and I had no idea what Bella's reaction might be.

If going after them was not an option, I needed to find something to occupy my time while they were gone. Preparing for tonight seemed like as good a plan as any. Grabbing my keys, I headed out.

Four hours later I let myself back into the suite. The maid service had been in, clearing away breakfast and making up the bed. There were even fresh flowers on the table.

Going into the bedroom, I lay my packages down beside the bed before deciding to shower and change. Alice said she would have Bella back by six. I still had plenty of time but there was a lot to do if I wanted this to be perfect.

I took my time. There was no need to rush. By the time I heard Bella's key card slip into the slot everything was in place.

Coming out of the bedroom, I could see without a doubt how tired my love was. Just as I'd predicted, my sister had worn her out shopping. '

She looked up then and caught my eye. A warm blush covered her cheeks and a look of sky embarrassment filled her eyes I didn't understand.

Alice was still blocking me.

Trying to keep my irritation under control, I approached them slowly. "Did you have a nice time?"

Bella didn't answer right away so Alice stepped in. "Of course we did, didn't we Bella?" With that my love blushed even more and her eyes flickered first to the floor and then anywhere but me.

I was about to demand answers from my sister before she started talking again. "Here you go Bella," she said, handing over a pink bag. Bella took it but still didn't look at me. "Well I'll leave you two alone now," Alice smirked as she bounced back toward the door.

She opened it but before taking a step outside she turned back. "Bella?" My love looked up at my sister though her head was still lowered. "Now don't forget to show Edward what we bought today," she added with just a hint of amusement. I had no idea what they'd purchased today but now I wanted to know, which I'm sure is exactly why Alice had said it.

I waited until the door closed before taking a step toward Bella. She side stepped me though and headed into the bedroom.

Stopping her wouldn't have been an issue but I was perplexed by her avoidance. Something had her embarrassed beyond reason and I didn't like it.

Following her, I watched as she put the package beside the bed and sat down. Then, she turned and buried her head in the pillows. My chest clenched at her distress. This was not how I wanted this weekend to be. It was supposed to be about us getting closer, not her pulling away from me. I would kill Alice if she were the one responsible for this.

Going quickly to my love's side I picked her up and gathered her against my chest. She wasn't crying but her heart was fluttering faster than normal. "Bella, love. Please tell me what's wrong."

She shuttered against me and buried her face deeper.

We sat there for several minutes and her silence was killing me. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to know…something. "Please talk to me," I whispered in her ear.

Bella took a deep breath but didn't look up. "You can smell me," she whispered.

I was at a loss. Of course I could smell her. Her scent was part of my world. It calmed me like nothing else. She knew this though so it only added to my confusion. "Love, you know I can smell you. That can't be what's bothering you." I said this last part as a slight question. Surely she would elaborate.

My love didn't disappoint. She took a shuddering deep breath and said, "No. I mean you can…'smell' me. All of you. Your family," she whispered the last part.

I was still confused and then she added. "Why didn't you tell me to take a shower?"

Then the pieces fell together. There was no doubt now. I would kill Alice. She might be my sister but this was not acceptable. How could she do this to Bella?!

My dead heart ached. How could I make this better?

**Chapter End Notes:**

**I'll be posting a teaser on the forum thread in the next week or so don't be a stranger and stop by. :)**


	31. Chapter 31

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**I don't want to hear anything about this chapter being short since it's over 4,000 words. ;) **

**Also, if you want a peek at what Bella is wearing in this chapter pop over to the Perspective thread on the forum if you haven't already and there is a picture. .?f=52&t=1898**

_End of last chapter_

_My love didn't disappoint. She took a shuddering deep breath and said, "No. I mean you can…'smell' me. All of you. Your family," she whispered the last part. _

_I was still confused and then she added. "Why didn't you tell me to take a shower?"_

_Then the pieces fell together. There was no doubt now. I would kill Alice. She might be my sister but this was not acceptable. How could she do this to Bella?!_

_My dead heart ached. How could I make this better?_

* * *

I didn't answer her right away as I tried to compose my response. Then she looked up at me, her eyes wide and glistening with unshed tears. They were also clearly waiting for my answer.

"Honestly?"

"Of course," she said as though it shouldn't have to be said.

She was correct, it shouldn't have to be said and the only reason I had even asked the question was to delay my response.

My eyes fell away from her face and settled on a spot above her head on the wall. "I didn't know...what to say. How to ask you something like that." I shook my head. "It just seemed to...intimate to ask of you."

"To intimate?" she drew out the words slowly.

I sighed as my eyes came back to rest on her face again, my hand coming up to brush the lose stands of her hair away. What I needed to say would've caused me to blush beet red had I been human. Even now, with over one hundred years behind me, I was near trembling with embarrassment. "Love, every time I think about you alone in the shower, my...I picture you, in my mind."

Her eyes were searching mine, looking for something. Then she smiled a little half smile. "You fantasize about me? In the shower?"

"Yes?" It came out as a question. I was unsure how she would react but then I remembered last night and how her hands and lips had touched my body. She wanted me. In my flawed state, she wanted me. So with a firmer tone I said it again, this time there was no question. "Yes."

She smiled wider, leaned in and kissed me. Hard.

If she'd kissed another human this way, there may have been bruises. She wasn't with a human though she was with me. She was mine and I gently moved my lips with hers, pulling back a little, trying to ensure she didn't hurt herself against my stone skin.

When she raised her head, her face was set again. "You still should have told me."

"I know. I'm sorry."

She watched me again in silence for several minutes and then nodded. Obviously she was satisfied with the outcome. At least for now. I never knew about Bella.

Her eyes focused on a point over my shoulder and I turned to see what had caught her attention. I should have known, after all, that as observant as she was she'd notice the candles on the nightstand. Following her eyes, she found several other places in the room where I'd strategically placed candles. "What..." she asked as her eyes fell back on my face.

My surprise had been revealed a little prematurely but I was glad to see she looked pleased. The side of my mouth quirked up into the smile I knew she loved and I listened to her heart skip a beat. "I'd planned something romantic for our evening tonight although I wasn't planning on you uncovering it so quickly."

She seemed to be unable to decide between being upset with me planning a surprise for her and being touched by the gesture. I was hoping the later would win out and eventually it did. "What's the surprise?"

This time instead of skepticism, her voice held a note of excitement. Our weekend, after all, was about getting closer without interruptions. "Perhaps we should get you some dinner first?" She looked like she was about to argue, "Please, Bella? I promise after dinner I will tell you."

My love was debating again. I could see the wheels turning in her head. In an effort to distract her, I tried to steer her focus in the direction I wanted. "Would you prefer to go down to the restaurant or order room service?"

The look she was giving me told me she was not fooled. "I'd rather stay in."

Not giving her any time to protest farther, I picked her up and set her on her feet before reaching into the drawer beside the bed and extracting the hotel menu. "What would you like, love?" I asked looking over her shoulder as she perused the menu.

I saw her frown. She was looking at the prices. "Please get what you want and stop looking at how much things cost."

Her frowned deepened for a moment before she sighed and looked resigned. "I'll get the Fettuccini Alfredo," she said as she handed me back the menu.

I wasn't fooled. It was still one of the cheapest items they offered.

Walking over to the phone I dialed the code listed and placed her order adding a side of chicken, shrimp and steak. By the time I hung up the phone she was frowning again. I ignored her and walked out into the living area.

She followed and came to stand in front of me as I sat down on the sofa turning on the television while we waited. I looked up at her with the most innocent expression I could manage. "What is it, love?"

"Don't give me that, Edward Cullen. There is no way I'm going to eat all that food."

I just shrugged and her face began to show signs of frustration. Why could she not just allow me to buy things for her? Isn't that what was normally acceptable in a relationship where two people were about to marry?

She was going to argue with me again but in that moment I realized I was just as upset as she was. "Why is it that you are able to give me anything you want and I am prohibited to give you anything in return?"

"You already..."

I cut her off. I would have my say. "You are my fiancée. The woman I love beyond all else. Whatever is in my power I would give you, I will give you, without a second thought. I have tried to honor your wishes by not lavishing you with extravagant things but I feel you are pushing this insane notion of yours to an unacceptable level." Her facial features changed. She looked hurt.

"You've given me you, Edward," she whispered.

I sighed in exasperation. "My love, I know you think that I am some great prize but I promise you that what I am, as flawed and imperfect as I may be, I'm yours, freely." I paused to let her take that in for a minute and then added. "But that means you are mine as well, right?"

"Always."

Smiling, I picked up her warm hand and caressed her fingers one by one before placing a soft kiss on the one holding her engagement ring. "Please let me give you the little things at least, Bella." Then I couldn't help to add with a slight smirk, "If I get too over the top, you have my permission to put me in my place." Keeping a firm hold on her hand and my eyes locked on hers, "Deal?"

She exhaled sending a burst of her scent to me. "Deal."

While Bella ate her dinner, she kept asking subtle questions trying to figure out what I had planned for the night. I evaded her with the practiced ease only one hundred years of practiced evasion could provide. Needless to say by the time she finished her frustration was showing clearly in both her face and body language.

She set her fork down with a flourish and faced me with determination. "Are you going to tell me now?"

I tried very hard not to smile but she was too cute. "I thought you might need to relax after spending the day with Alice. I know how exhausting she can be."

Shifting in her seat, she considered my words. "Relax. How exactly?"

I got up and in a flash was behind her. She jumped slightly as I whispered the next words in her ear. "First, I thought you might want to shower and change into something more comfortable." My love shivered and from the increase in her heart rate I knew it wasn't due to my cool breath floating over her skin. "Then," I continued, "I thought maybe we could due a role reversal of sorts from last night."

Her heart kept time with her breathing as each quicked. She swallowed, sending a ripple down her neck that I couldn't resist placing my lips against. Swallowing again she seemed to be trying to calm herself but her voice still shook a little. "Okay."

Moving away, I waited until she got up and then followed her into our room. Gathering her things she started heading toward the bathroom. "Aren't you forgetting something?" I asked holding up the pink bag. Her skin flushed a delicious pink. There was no way I was not finding out what was in the bag.

When she didn't make a move to retrieve it, I pulled it in front of me and began parting the paper edges to peer inside. I heard her move as soon as she began but even still the short time it took her to close the distance between us and push the sides of the bag closed again amazed me. Her blush deepened. "You can't look."

"Why not? You did promise Alice you'd show me."

That wasn't the case exactly, of that I was sure. Alice didn't precisely ask for the things she wanted done. My desire to uncover what was making her react so allowed me to glaze over that small detail.

Bella seemed to resign herself. "Fine," she said, snatching the bag from my hands. "You have to promise not to laugh though."

I didn't think that would be a problem. If Alice picked something out for Bella to wear, it would more than likely leave me speechless before it would cause me to laugh.

She didn't wait for my answer before disappearing into the bathroom closing the door behind her.

Taking my time, I set up the bedroom. I lit the candles, turned down the sheets, and readjusted the heat back to a warmer setting. Once everything was complete, I sat on the end of the bed waiting for her.

The water had shut off a while ago so I knew she was finished. I could only imagine she was still worrying about my seeing whatever it was in the pink bag. Her breathing was labored. She was nervous. There was no need.

I rose and went to the door. "Do you need help with anything."

"No!" she managed in a near shout.

"Okay," I replied, trying to keep the smile from my voice. "Are you coming out?"

She didn't answer and I could hear no movement. I was just about to try again when the door began to open.

Bella stood not three feet away from me wearing a black tank top and matching shorts. They were different from her normal night attire though. The top dipped lower showcasing more of her cleavage and molding to sides. And the shorts didn't leave much to the imagination. Shorter than what she usually wore, they didn't go much past the junction of her legs and had slits up the sides. There was also a design of some sort along one side.

It was my turn to swallow compulsively now. This would make what I had planned for the evening an even greater test in self-restraint.

I was staring. It couldn't be helped.

"Edward?" She was looking up at me with anxious eyes. "Please say something," she pleaded.

"Bella..." It was all I could say before I had to touch her. My arms wrapped around her waist as I hugged her to me. The material was so thin! It was as if there was nothing standing between her warm skin and my cold touch.

My hands traced down her sides and rested on her hips. I knew I should step away, that the temperature in the room had not gotten high enough to counter balance my icy skin but I couldn't let her go. "You are beautiful," I breathed against her throat. "Breathtaking," I managed to choke out.

Her arms hung on to me. "You really like it?"

"Bella..." How could she think I didn't like it? Love it? I couldn't help the vibrations in my chest. "I am having difficulty keeping my hands to myself, love."

Then she giggled and I took a step back to see her face but kept my hands on her sides. "Then don't."

I groaned. She would have to decide to be aggressive tonight.

Her response to my distress was to chuckle again. "So do I get to find out what the surprise is now?"

I smiled and nodded, motioning toward the bed.

She broke from my embrace and walked over to the bedside. Picking up the bottle on the nightstand she examined it. "Warming massage oil?" Then her eyes became excited. "You're going to give me a massage?"

"That was what I had in mind for the evening, yes," I paused as if considering. "Unless, of course, you would prefer to do something else?"

Her bottom lip disappeared inside her mouth. Her eyes still held excitement but now there was a hint of apprehension as well. Why was she hesitating? "I would understand if you don't think my cold hands would be relaxing..."

"No," she rushed to correct me. "It's not that. I just...do you really WANT to?"

"Yes," I said making sure my sincerity came through in that one single word. Her answering smile told me she understood. "Would you like to lie down?"

"Oh," she said. "Sure."

As she moved to lie on the bed, her shirt pulled up to give me a small glimpse of the skin of her back. She was so sexy and she didn't have a clue.

It only took her a moment to get comfortable on her stomach. I reached out for the bottle of warming oil.

When I went to the store this afternoon for supplies I knew this would be perfect. It would help to combat the cold of my skin and hopefully at least allow a more normal feel for her. Pouring a generous portion of oil onto my hands and rubbing them per the instructions, I could feel the warmth against my palms.

At first contact, my love let out a contented sigh. And as I slowly and gently moved over the exposed skin of her neck and shoulders, I could feel every muscle relax, even the ones I had no contact with.

I added more oil as I worked the muscles of each arm. She was literally humming.

My hard fingers made easy work of the tension or what was left of it as they deftly roamed over her back. I could see so much of her as I worked. The black material provided covering for human eyes, but as I moved and stretched the thin fabric it was almost non-existent to me. She might as well have been wearing lace.

Reaching her lower back, I removed my hands and once again added more oil.

The material stretched tight over her cheeks before abruptly ending. I wanted to touch her but I wasn't sure that was what she wanted. Then I thought back to that night on her kitchen counter and the moan that has passed through her lips when my hands moved past her lower back. Practice, I reminded myself. Practice.

Taking a deep breath, I raised my right hand and set it once again on her lower back. I began a small circular motion just to the right of her spine. She was so relaxed, obviously enjoying this just as much as I was. Then, my fingers moved lower.

Her muscles flexed under my light touch. She was soft here and it felt amazing under my hand. As I drew closer to the hem on her shorts, her hips rose slightly from the bed encouraging me. I had to close my eyes and stop my hands momentarily to regain my focus.

Picking up where I left off, I began massaging again. She moaned and sighed softy as her legs began to forget all the walking they did today.

When I finished, the room was noticeably warmer. I stood and excused myself for a minute to change. Finished, I returned to the room once again in only my pajama pants.

Bella was now lying on her back looking up at me. She opened her arms and I moved to lie beside her.

"Thank you," she said as her arms slid up my bare chest and around my neck.

Her hands felt just as good now as they had last night. Would I ever get used to her touch? "It was my pleasure," I answered, placing a soft kiss on her temple.

She wasn't satisfied with that chaste kiss though. Tilting her head up, her lips molded to mine. Her body arched against me and my arms held her tighter.

If I thought it felt like she had nothing on before, now was a surreal experience. I could feel her breasts pressing against me and I wanted to explore them, to know them, every inch of them, every inch of her. Eight days. Just eight more days.

She broke the kiss first but not due to lack of air. Looking up at me with heavily lidded eyes, "Do you want to touch me? Like I did you last night?"

Closing my eyes I tried desperately to focus. How could she ask me that? Of course I wanted to touch her. Was she giving me permission? "Is that something you would like?"

Her smile held a hint of shyness but that only made it more appealing. "Yes."

That one word sent a fire that had nothing to do with bloodlust through my body. I kissed her again with restrained passion and then rolled her over to lie on her back.

Keeping my hands on the mattress, my lips sought the familiar skin of her neck and shoulders. Her scent radiated from the pause point in her neck and I darted my tongue out to lick the delicious flavor that belonged only to my Bella. There was a hint of the strawberry flavored oil I'd selected but it somehow only managed to enhance instead of take away.

Gliding down her collarbone, for the first time my lips came in contact with the curve of her breast. It was soft as I knew it would be making her fragile state all too clear to me. But feeling it under my lips…I wasn't prepared for that.

Bella didn't seem to be either. Her hands were clenching the pillows at the side of her head tightly, trying hard not to move. The look of pleasure on her face was all the encouragement I needed.

Keeping my mouth firmly closed, I ran my lips down the top of one mound and up the other. I noticed that her scent was stronger in the middle for some reason. It wasn't something I'd ever paid attention to, not having been in this position before. And at that moment I wanted to be closer. So acting on pure instinct, I centered myself above her and placed my nose in between her breasts breathing deeply.

When I didn't move after a minute my love's hands came up off the bed and ran lightly through my hair. "Are you okay?"

For whatever reason, I found that question funny. Was I okay? "I'm much better than okay. Your scent is stronger here. Not as potent as at your neck or your wrists but…"

She ran her hands once more through my wild hair and then brought them back down on either side of her head. Before moving on, I placed a single kiss right where my nose had been and she sucked in a breath.

I loved her reactions.

Bella was so honest in her responses. She hid nothing from me and I basked in the pure feeling of joy it brought.

Keeping contact only with the tip of my nose, I continued my downward journey of exploration.

The hem of her shirt didn't quite make contact with her shorts leaving an inch of skin just below her belly button visible. There was so way to resist it lure. My mouth caressed the smooth skin as I both watched and felt her muscles tighten and release. On impulse and purely fueled by desire, I wanted to see if she tasted any different here and also a devilish part of me wanted to see her reaction.

I wasn't disappointed. The second my tongue touched her bare skin she gasped, arching her back and pulling at the pillows. And she did taste a little different here but no less mouthwatering.

Suddenly her scent drifted to my nose and I couldn't hold back a growl as I rested my head against her hip.

My body was pulsing now with my desire for her and I couldn't stop my hands from pulling themselves free from beside her and coming to grip her hips. "Bella…" I groaned, as I held her in place against the mattress and I moved closer to the intoxicating smell of her.

Tracing a line down her hipbone, I stopped just above the strongest point of her scent and released a breath of air from my lungs. My loves body jerked slightly and then another strong wave of her scent fill my nostrils.

Hands coming down to grip her thighs, I lay my cheek against the bare skin of her leg. There was only a minuscule piece of black fabric between me and the most precious part of her. I had never been tempted like this.

Fingers flexing with suppressed desire against her thighs, I was taken off guard by a concentration of the scent right beneath my nose and mouth. I vaguely registered the intense burn of my throat as I descended to press my lips against the inner part of her leg.

She was wet. I knew this was how it worked but book knowledge and reality were two different things.

Before I knew what was happening, my mouth opened and my tongue ran a clean line up to the hem of her shorts. In the back of my mind, I sensed Bella's back arching, her legs opening farther, but I was lost in the taste, the sensation of her. She tasted a hundred times better than she smelled.

My own excitement was barely contained pressed firmly against the bed beneath me. I wanted to taste more of her and only a second before it was too late stopped myself. This would have to be enough for now.

So I contented myself with first licking the moister from the inside of her legs and then slowly forced myself back up her body to her lips.

As we moved our mouths together again, Bella's tongue came out and licked my bottom lip. I pulled back. There was no other option. My desire was getting the better of me. For some reason, my loves mouth, especially her tongue, drove me out of my mind.

Bella must have realized my control had been stretched because she let me have my space for several minutes before rolling over to lay her head on my shoulder. She placed a kiss on my neck and then settled back down. "Thank you."

I laughed and kissed the top of her head as I wrapped my arms around her.

She surprised me by saying. "You're getting better at it. Staying in control, I mean." Then she added, "Don't you think?"

Grunting, I shifted slightly so I could look down at her. "Being close to you is getting easier up to a point. But, Bella, I have no idea what will happen after that point. There are just still so many unknowns."

Her eyes held mine. "We'll be fine. We can do this."

I didn't answer her. Every desire I had wanted her to be right. We would try, that is all we could do. My love for her would have to be enough. And I hoped that her love for me did not end up getting her killed.

* * *

Chapter End Notes:

**For the most part I have the next chapter outlined in my head, it will be the rest of Saturday night and Sunday. My question to you is, after the next chapter, would you prefer I keep the story going at the pace we've been at or speed the time line up. We still have eight days to cover until the wedding so it's up to you. If you want me to gloss over some things rather than going into detail over the last week before the wedding, I can do that. So it's up to you, this is your time to be heard. Keep going like I have been or speed things up? **

**And on a very new note. I found out about an hour before this chapter posted that Perspective won The Shimmer Award! I'm still a little giddy, if you couldn't tell. There were some great stories nominated and I'm honored to have this story listed amonst them. :) **


	32. Chapter 32

**Author's Note:**

**Thank you to all who gave feedback on my question of pacing. Believe it or not, the response was very mixed. I think I've found a happy medium though. **

**Enjoy the chapter. And don't forget to stop by the forum over on Twilighted (the link is on my profile). I'll be posting a teaser for next chapter toward the end of next week. :)**

She was quiet at my side for a long time. It was early and I could tell by her breathing she wasn't asleep.

My mind kept replaying her words 'you're getting better'. I knew she was right but it didn't take all the fear away. I was not sure anything could do that.

Ever since Bella came into my life I've lived on the edge of the most dreaded fear and the most unrestrained bliss. I would not give her up for anything, would not trade the terror or the joy because both meant that she was really mine.

Her small fingers began tracing lines on my chest. They were random patterns, innocent, but they still sent those heavenly sensations through me reminding me how real she was, how real we were.

The pads of my own fingers ran a line up and down her arm. Our touches were chaste; there was no sexuality behind them, none of the restrained lust of a few moments before. It was just us quiet and peaceful in each other's arms.

Reflections of light came through the open curtains falling on our skin as the sun made it's way down over the horizon. The light made Bella seem even paler than usual giving exaggerated contrast with the black she wore.

Impulsively, I lay a single finger on the thin strap lying innocently now on her shoulder. She was pressed to my side hiding half of herself from me but the part that was visible was a blatant reminder as to just how sexy my love was. And she looked up at me when my lone finger began trailing down toward where it connected to her breast.

Her smile was shy but more confident than it had been when she'd stepped out of the bathroom. "You really like it," she said without question this time.

"I do," I smiled back. "I was wondering though," I said, still idly playing with the strap. "Did you choose this or did Alice?"

A slight pink huge formed on her cheeks and I knew I could not wait to hear her answer. "Well," she said, averting her eyes from mine. "Alice insisted I get at least one outfit. She had me try on some things," she paused then and her blush deepened.

Trying to comfort her and let her know it was okay, I placed a soft kiss at her temple and rested my cheek against her head giving her time to collect her thoughts.

"I'd been inside Victoria's Secret before with Renee but… Well, this was different. Alice kept saying how much you'd love to see me in this or that but…" Then she took a deep breath and sighed. "She made it clear she expected me to wear whatever we choose tonight and I didn't think you'd appreciate some of the things she'd picked." And then she looked up at me. "I thought this would be better and Alice liked it so…"

I had no idea what outfits Alice had Bella try on but knowing my sister and her taste in bedroom attire I couldn't help but mentally cringe. It wasn't that I had an aversion to seeing my love in things like that, it was more I didn't know if I could restrain myself if I did. What she was wearing now was unbelievable and the desire I had to slip the strap, still under my fingers, down her arm and run my tongue along it's pervious path that would lead me to the soft mounds of flesh I so wanted to taste, was nearly more than I could bare.

Closing my eyes, I forced the thoughts out of my head. Eight more days. The lower half of my body insisted it was a long time but logically I knew it was not, especially for a vampire.

Bella sensed my distress and shifted, pulling herself up so her eyes were level with mine. Her soft hands cupped my face willing me to look at her. "Are you alright?"

Opening my eyes, I knew they were still glazed over with the passion I was fighting hard to control. She saw it and her heart began to fly. Letting my lids fall shut again, I listened to that sound.

The beats gradually got slower, back to normal, and I felt my body calm with hers. She was my angel, my center, and even when her heart no longer beat she would be so.

We decided maybe a distraction was in order and decided to watch a movie. And after flipping through several channels, settled on an old film starting Grace Kelly and Bing Crosby called _The Country Girl_.

Watching old movies was something I typically did but it was different with Bella as so many things were for me. I'd lived in that time if not the place. She hadn't and her questions about what life was really like then made me remember things I'd not thought about in a long time. This movie was made in the mid fifties; right about the time Alice and Jasper joined our family. While the rest of the world was just getting back to normal after the war, the Cullen's were adjusting to our new family members.

After the movie was over, Bella still seemed reluctant to fall asleep. She wanted to talk and ultimately read.

Her book of choice, the only book we had with us, was the _Sex for Dummies_ book Emmett had given me. Although I'd brought it out last night, I'd put it away earlier today thinking it had been a waste of space in my bag. Bella had other ideas. She sat down beside me and opened up right where we left off.

The next chapter was titled Virginity. It turned out not to be so bad. Mostly it talked about the importance of choosing the right person for your first time and not just wanting to 'get it over with'.

When we finished that chapter, Bella leaned into me placing a chaste kiss on my lips. "I love you," she whispered.

I returned her sentiment with a half smile and a kiss of my own. There was no need for us to vocalize how grateful we were to be the other's first, we knew.

Still not ready to call it a night, Bella wanted to go on to the next chapter. This one was entitled _Foreplay_.

My hand automatically went up to pinch the bridge of my nose and Bella laughed. "I'm sure it's not that bad," she said.

In a way she was correct. There were a lot of things we'd already done including me calling her 'love'. It wasn't something I thought of as foreplay; it was an endearment. She was my love, my Bella. There was also a lot about touching and kissing, which we had done more than our share of.

The only real uncomfortable part came when we had to once again discuss what could and could not be attempted before her transformation. But Bella as always seemed okay with the temporary limitations.

I noticed talking about this was getting easier for me. Although it still made me uncomfortable, I was able to share my thoughts and feelings without stumbling over every other word. Maybe it was my realization early yesterday that we might actually be able to do this or was it that we were in fact getting physically closer. I didn't have that answer; I only knew what was.

The following chapter was on intercourse and we both agreed maybe it was best to leave that for another night.

She still fought sleep even though I knew she must be tired. It was our last night alone until the honeymoon and I knew she felt that weight as much as I did. Even with Alice's interruption, our time here had been special. We were alone as we rarely ever were. And more than anything I realized it was that reason, more than any other that I couldn't wait to get to Isle Esme. Bella would be mine in every sense of the word and only mine for however long we were there. I couldn't wait.

Bella finally drifted off to sleep in my arms around three o'clock. She'd worn herself out by staying up so late and slept soundly.

I spent my entire night just watching her. The beauty of how her eyelashes rested on her face; how her brow furrowed when she took a deeper than normal breath. These were all things I'd seen time and time again from her but each one was special to me, precious.

She started to stir around ten. Her arms gripped my waist tighter as she cuddled closer taking her first morning breath. "Morning, love."

"Hmmm," was all she said her body moving to fit its self against mine.

Bringing my arms around to cradle her to me I pressed my lips to her forehead. "Are you hungry?" She shook her head laying it on my chest just beneath my chin. Bella seemed to have no desire to move from her position even though I knew she was fully awake.

We lay that way for the next hour, neither of us moving much other than gentle caresses. It was her humanness that reluctantly led us to part. But before disappearing into the bathroom she turned to me and asked. "Do I need to shower?"

Of course, as I knew it would, her embarrassment and our conversation came up again. This time I felt more comfortable answering it. "That would probably be best." She nodded and disappeared behind the closed door.

Once we both got dressed and Bella ate a late breakfast, we checked out of the hotel and headed for Pikes Place. I'd never actually visited the market before today although Rose and Alice have frequently. It had never really made sense to go somewhere before today where human food and crafts seemed to be the biggest attractions. But coming here with Bella was different. Seeing things through her eyes was always fascinating.

We slowly walked through the streets, making our way through each building. There were people everywhere and I had to be careful not to press up against anyone least they feel the solid stone of my body.

There were several men throwing fish in one building and we stood and watched with many others for several minutes. Bella wondered out loud how slippery the fish were and a few of the people around us laughed and nodded in agreement to her question. The men never missed a beat though; it was obviously routine for them.

Keeping with our slow pace, we worked our way through a building full of fresh fruits, vegetables and other more creative things such as blankets and paintings. There was a lot to see and I was glad I'd chosen to bring her here.

After four hours of walking, I asked if she was hungry. Her response was a shrug of her shoulders, which gave me the answer of yes but she didn't want to interrupt our time with something as human as eating. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes.

In the end, I didn't have to press her to eat. The next building we walked into was full of restaurants including a Starbucks. There was a huge sign indicating this was the original coffee shop and with an excited look Bella pulled me inside.

She rattled off a list of words that only made half sense to me but the young man behind the counter seemed to understand completely. He rang up her order and told her her total, his eyes and smile lingering just a little too much to be merely polite. The boy thought she was pretty, but thankfully his mind wasn't filth like Mike Newton's.

Bella reached into her pocket where I knew she was carrying money but I, as always, was faster. Handing the money to the boy, he finally looked at me. I could tell I startled him although I hadn't done anything intentionally. He'd just been too focused on Bella and I too still at her side to gain his attention before this.

After retrieving her cappuccino, we continued walking through the building. There were several interesting things, some foods I'd never heard of. I used it as a perfect excuse for her to eat insisting that I wanted to know what they tasted like and could only to that through her. Thankfully she didn't fight me and we spent the next two hours with me watching her eat various foods and her trying to describe them to me. By the time we were done though, it was time to head back to the car and begin our journey home.

My love sighed contentedly as she sat in her seat beside me and reached for my hand. "I had a really good time. Thank you," she smiled.

"You're welcome, love. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

We talked more on the way home about our day. But the closer we got to our destination I began to sense her getting nervous. "Is something wrong?"

"No," she shook her head. I frowned, making it clear I didn't believe her. "No, really," she said. "It's just… This weekend has been so nice and now we're going home with my dad and your family. I'm going to miss it being just us."

Pulling her hand up to my lips, I breathed deep before running my nose against the flat of her palm. "We will be alone next week. Just us."

Her attitude seemed to completely change. "So we're going some place isolated or are you just renting out a penthouse or something were no one will bother us?"

The laughter rolled out of me. I could help it. Her mind never stopped working when she wanted something and right now her key goal was to find out where I was taking her on our honeymoon.

When she realized I wasn't going to answer her, she leaned back in her chair and sighed. "I don't get this silly tradition." I just smiled at that. She would like the island and yes we would be alone, isolated from everyone, just us.

Charlie was waiting for us when we arrived at her house. His thoughts were anxious and he was debating whether he should ask her what we'd done this weekend. He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

No matter how many times Bella or I told him, he was convinced we were having sex. I knew there was nothing I could do to change his mind and if he ever knew I spent most of my nights in his daughter's bedroom he'd be even less likely to believe us. As it was though, he seemed to come to the conclusion that ignorance was the better option so I left Bella and Charlie not long after dropping her off and headed home.

My family's thoughts filled my mind only minutes before they realized I was home. Well all except Alice who knew to the minute when I'd walk through the door. I had not forgotten about the 'little talk' I planned to have with my sister.

I walked in the door and had only a split second to get out of the way before Emmett came barreling toward me. "Not in the house!" Esme yelled disapprovingly. Then she walked down the stairs and smiled at me. "How was Seattle?"

_Yeah, how was Seattle?_ Emmett's thoughts rang through my head with heavy insinuation. I ignored them.

"It went well." 

_I bet it did. See any action while you were gone?_ He chuckle.

Esme didn't need to read his mind to know what was going on. "Emmett behave yourself."

"Aw come on, mom. I've got to have a little fun."

She just gave him a loaded stare and his chest vibrated with his contained laughter. I rolled my eyes.

Rose floated down the stairs then with Alice and Jasper in her wake. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Alice stopped. Her eyes rose to meet mine and she looked apologetic. _I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't know she'd…_

It didn't matter. I didn't want to hear her excuses. A low growl rumbled in my chest.

Jasper reacted instinctively to protect his mate. Everyone else looked back and forth between us, waiting.

Neither of us spoke verbally. Her mind was racing to show me what had happened between the two of them, what she'd said. I was also able to see some of what Bella had told me last night about trying on what my love felt were clothes that would make me uncomfortable.

What she was showing me was not helping my temper. It was true she hadn't come out and told Bella but she knew how perceptive she was. Alice, more than anyone else, was aware of my loves ability to put the pieces of a puzzle together given enough opportunity. Her subtle hints to try and get my fiancée to share with her exactly how far our 'practices' had gone was just too much. "Stay out of it, Alice," I growled.

Everyone was watching us now even Carlisle who'd just came through the back door. It was a face off.

I didn't see my father until he was beside me. His hand came to rest on my shoulder and I pushed it off. He brought it down again and this time made sure I would not shrug him off. "Edward, stop. I'm sure Alice didn't mean…"

"She told Bella we could 'smell her'," I said through gritted teeth. No one seemed to get it though. Taking a deep breath, I pinched the bridge of my nose and then looked at Carlisle so he'd know I didn't plan on pouncing on Alice anytime soon.

He released me and nodded. I picked up my bags again and headed toward the stairs not even glancing at my sister.

They let me go but I could hear first the question in their minds and then again as they vocalized and asked Alice what was going on. She down played it of course. Alice didn't sit with Bella in her arms while watching her eyes well up with tears of frustration and embarrassment.

I took responsibility for some of that embarrassment. If I'd gotten up the courage to get over my own discomfort and told her, none of this would have happened. It didn't change the fact that Alice should have kept her mouth shut.

The anger began to rise again and I knew I needed to calm down. Unfortunately the one person who was guaranteed to relax me was unavailable now.

Quickly putting my things away, I lay on my bed and closed my eyes. It was so easy to picture her here with me and I remembered our weekend, leaving out the not so pleasant parts.

We had gone about as far as we could, as far as I was willing to allow us to go before making her mine forever. The rest would have to just be. By the time I crawled into her window tonight we would be down to seven days, one week. I wanted to spend the little time we had left enjoying our life and not pushing too hard.

If something did go wrong this could be Bella's last week as a human. That thought brought with it more meaning now than it had before. I couldn't wait to give her all of me forever, no restrictions, no restraint.


	33. Chapter 33

I was at my love's window the second I heard Charlie's snoring. My night had been too long without her already and I just needed to feel her presence.

Bella's breathing was slow and even. I knew she was asleep. It had been a long day and she needed her rest. It didn't help the slight disappointment I felt in not being able to talk to her.

Taking a seat in the rocking chair so as not to disturb her, I watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.

Bella was always beautiful no matter if she were awake or asleep, but there was just something about watching her slumber. Something about how vulnerable she was made her all the more lovely. At night, all her defenses were down. She was open to me as she was at no other time and I could savor each and every movement that crossed her face.

An hour later the talking began. It was mostly mumbles and hums but there were a few words tossed in here and there. But it was when my love's heart began to pick up it's pace that I quickly rushed to her bedside.

Moments later her eyes flew open. They started frantically scanning the room until they focused on me.

I brushed her hair back away from her face, which seemed to relax her some more. "Are you okay, love?"

"Edward," she sighed and then wrapped her arms around my neck.

My arms enveloped her, holding her close. "Bella, what's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Nothing."

It was obvious something in her dreams had frightened her but for now I just held her. With her head buried in my shoulder, I lifted her slightly and settled us back on her bed. She sank into me, as much as that was possible, and began playing with the collar of my t-shirt.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" I prompted.

Bella was quiet for a long time. I could tell she was thinking, debating whether or not to share. Then without warning her hands went from fingering my collar to reaching for the hem and plunging her hands beneath.

It was so fast; I didn't have time to prepare. I sucked in a deep breath at the warm contact of her fingers against my stomach, which sent fire blazing down my throat. "Bella…"

She didn't seem to hear me though or was past caring. Her body shifted and began pulling up on my shirt obviously wanting it gone. I only paused for a second and then helped her remove it.

As soon as it was out of the way, her mouth was on me. It was an insane sensation. This wasn't like the other night of tentative touches and exploration. My head fell back against the headboard while my hands tangled in her hair.

Kissing and licking up my stomach and chest, she until she reached my right nipple. I was so lost in the feelings humming through my body that it didn't register what she was going to do until I felt her lips circle me and suck as hard as she could. My fingers flexed against her scalp and I sucked in a large breath of air.

"Bella… Maybe you should…" My request fell on dead ears as I felt her tongue lick the rock hard part of me she now held in her mouth. Hands fisted as I tried to stay in control but it was difficult. She was relentless. While her mouth continued to do the most wonderfully torturous things, her hands were busy running along my stomach where my muscles were reacting by flexing over and over again.

Then she was straddling me. I could feel the heat of her through our clothing. And then she began rocking against me. I groaned. It felt so good but I knew I had to stop this. I just couldn't remember why at the moment.

My breath was coming faster as a burning began in my groin. Instinctively, I grabbed her hips, feeling her flesh give way under my hands, and pulled down bringing her warmth in greater contact with my erection. I felt her lips give a little as she gasped at the contact. Her warm breath sent waves of heat over my now wet skin.

Her fingers held onto my sides tight as we rocked against each other. It was the absolute best feeling I'd ever experienced. Stop, an internal voice pestered me. Keep going, my body screamed. I was completely torn between the warring voices.

But finally the fire began to build where we were grinding against each other and my brain finally remembered why I needed to stop this. So before I could lose the will, I picked her up and flipped her over. Bella looked startled as she found our positions reversed with me hovering over her.

We were both still breathing heavily and I couldn't resist placing another firm kiss to her beautiful mouth. I pulled back though before things could heat up again and we ended up in the same place we were only minutes before.

Bella was the first to speak, her voice still husky. "Why did you stop?"

I closed my eyes trying to keep my mind clear of the hormonal haze it was in. How could she ask me that? "Bella we agreed," I paused and reached out to caress her face. "It's only seven more days, love."

Then I saw something cross her eyes, only moments before she closed them. "What is it?" She just shook her head but I persisted. "Please talk to me. Was it your dream?" She nodded. "Tell me," I whispered while sliding down to rest beside her.

"I dreamt you left. The day of the wedding. You changed your mind. Said you couldn't…"

She was working herself up again and I pulled her tighter into my embrace. "Love, I won't leave you. Ever." Then I lifted her chin so she would have to look at me. "You are my world. My mate. The entire reason for my existence. I love you and I need you, only you."

"But what if…"

"Shh. No what ifs," I whispered while continuing to try and sooth her with my hands. She began to calm down after a few minutes. But I began to wonder what brought this up. Bella's dreams tended to be triggered by what was going on around her. "Will you tell me what brought this ridiculous thought to your mind?"

She snuggled closer, laying a hand on my chest. I took the moment to pull the blanket once again around her. Her heart kicked up a little before calming again and then, "I was talking to my dad tonight. He was worried about how we'd make it being so young. I told him you had money and we'd be fine but then he asked what would happen if once we left Forks things changed. I knew what he meant. He was trying to get me to consider there might be someone else out there for me once I saw more of the world." Bella's fingers were playing with my chest hair while she spoke but I was too concerned with her words. "Charlie didn't realize how I'd take what he said." Then she looked up at me. "I know you love me. But forever is a long time. What if you change your mind?"

The absolute insanity of what she was saying suddenly struck me as funny. I couldn't contain my laughter. She frowned at my reaction so I tried to straighten my features.

Surrounding her face with both my hands, "I will never want or need anyone but you, Bella. I've been waiting one hundred years for you. How could you ever think differently?"

She had the foresight to look slightly abashed. "I know. I'm sorry. It's just… Well when Charlie brought it up it just sort of…" She sighed with clear frustration. "It's stupid. I'm sorry. I know you love me as much as I love you."

Leaning down, I placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "More."

That got a smile out of her. "Not likely, Mr. Cullen."

I smiled back. "Most definitely, Miss. Swan."

She lay back down against me. "I can't believe there's only one week left."

"I wish it were tomorrow."

Her mouth curved up against my cold skin. "No second thoughts?"

"Not even a little. You?"

"No. Although I still don't think marriage is necessary, it will definitely have its perks," she said as she ran a possessive hand down my chest.

My chest vibrated with my amusement. "You have a one track mind."

"Hmm."

I chuckled again shaking my head. "You need to sleep, love."

"Will you be here when I wake up?"

"I was thinking maybe you might want to spend some time with your father this week. He is off isn't he?" Then I paused. "Of course, that was before he put that ridiculous idea into your head."

Her lips brushed softly against my shoulder. "I think that's a good idea. You said we'd have to leave as soon as we get back right?"

"Only if that's what you want, Bella."

She sighed but said, "It is."

Then after a few minutes I heard her breathing once again become even and I knew she was asleep.

As the sun began creeping up in the sky, I left her. It was hard but something I had to do. She needed to spend time with her father without me there. Charlie never felt comfortable around me and I wasn't sure that would change. Not that it ever should considering.

The run home didn't end as I'd planned with me going up to my room to spend some quality time alone. Instead, I was met with my sister standing at the door. "Can we talk?"

I tried to go around her but Alice wasn't having it. Sighing, I sat down on the step. "What do you want, Alice."

Taking my queue, she lowed herself to sit beside me. "I wanted to apologize. You were right. I went too far. I should have known she'd put things together. I just didn't see it until it was too late. Was it horrible?"

My hand came up to run through my hair. "Yes. She was very upset. And crying, Alice," I said pointedly looking directly at her. "We made her cry." Alice of course picked up on the 'we'. "Yes, 'we'. You may have helped her put the pieces together but I should have said something. She trusted me and I let her down. There's not an excuse for that."

Alice made no comment for several minutes. "Is she okay now?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "She's spending the day with Charlie."

She nodded. "Esme and I are going to Port Angeles for the day. Jasper and Emmett are hunting." I could hear Rose in her room but there was no sign of Carlisle, I figured he wasn't home from the hospital yet.

Our conversation complete, I stood once again and this time she let me enter the house unobstructed. I went straight to my room and put in some music. This would be a long day without Bella with me but I would make the most of it.

My eyes fell on the Karma Sutra book still lying untouched on my desk. I realized I had never looked at it since Emmett had presented it to me. Now was as good a time as any given the time I had to pass, so I picked it up and began flipping through it.

At first, I thought it was much like the other until I arrived at the halfway point. That is when the pictures began.

These were not real life pictures but drawings, thankfully. They were bad enough. The chapter was called Exploring Different Positions. The next fifty pages proceeded to 'show' each position and explain it along with its advantages and disadvantages in detail. Some of the 'positions' left me wondering how humans actually accomplished them. I supposed if one were an acrobat it would help but how would a normal person contort their body that way?

Not that it mattered. Bella and I would have to keep things very simple and straightforward. At least, until she was changed. I couldn't take the risk, I wouldn't.

I took my time as I flipped the pages one by one making mental notes of some I would like to revisit after Bella had changed and adapted to our life. There was a second when I wondered how many Emmett had tried out personally and then pushed that thought far away. Not in a million years did I want to know the answer to that question although I knew he would willing share should I ask. It was actually a surprise he'd not marked the pages for me of his favorites.

My family, for the most part, had been very supportive with what Bella and I were going to try to accomplish. Of course, some were a little too supportive. There was nothing to be done about that however.

After the positions chapter was one on "Spicing things up." I didn't think that would be a problem for us anytime in the near future but I read it anyway. Some of the suggestions were more than embarrassing and I was once again glad, for a very different reason that I'd chosen the other book to read with my love. This would have been too much.

At just past noon, I was finished up my reading when I heard Carlisle arrive home. He could hear the music coming from my room and in less than a minute was at my door. _Hello, Edward._ Looking around he took in the fact I was alone. "Did Bella have plans today?"

"She's spending some time with Charlie."

He nodded. "That is a good idea."

Carlisle didn't need to voice his thoughts farther. We all knew what was coming one way or another and that her time with her father was quickly coming to an end.

"I was going to go for a short hunt. Would you like to join me?" he asked.

"Sure," I responded not really needing to but being here in my room all day counting down the minutes until I could go to her again was beyond frustrating.

The man I consider my father was a rather solitary man when he hunted. Rarely would the rest of us go alone. Carlisle, however, almost always went by himself unless it was a group hunt. And now, as we ran, even his mind was silent.

I remember hunting with him those first few years before Esme joined us. Back then, it had been purely for my benefit, but I'd enjoyed our time together. He'd taught me everything I knew as a vampire and many of the things I knew as a man. Carlisle had always encouraged me and I was heartened by the knowledge that it would be he who would stand beside me when I married Bella.

Thirty miles out, we caught scent of some elk. There were five of them and we wasted no time bringing two of them down and draining them.

The warm liquid felt good going down my throat and I felt the heat seep through my limbs. It reminded me of Bella's heat how it got inside and worked it's magic all the way down to my toes. That thought, of course, let to others including the feel of her mouth last night and I groaned.

Carlisle lifted his head and looked over at me. Then a knowing smirk crossed his lips. If it had been Emmett, or even Jasper, I would have had to suffer an unbearable level of teasing for my slip. But this wasn't either of my brothers and Carlisle let it go without comment.

By the time we arrived back at the house, Alice and Esme had returned. And by the amount of packages in the living room, I guessed the trip was a success. All I got from Alice's thoughts were that they were things for the wedding so I left them be and went back up to my room.

Jasper and I had discussed practicing again but nothing specific. He was still out with Emmett now, but I wanted to know if he'd be back tonight.

After a short phone call, I was told they were already on their way home so I called Bella to let her know I wouldn't be over this evening. She was disappointed. I could hear it in her voice. It was almost enough to make me change my plans. In the end, I told her I'd see her in the morning and agreed we would spend the day together. She told me that although she loved her dad dearly, she'd been bored to tears most of the day.

So with the thought of seeing my love again come morning, I put on another CD, lay on my bed and waited for Jasper and Emmett's return.

**End Chapter Note:**

**Last chapter you were all pretty quiet. There were half as many reviews for chapter 32 and there were for chapter 31. Now, I'm telling myself that's because you were all realy busy getting ready for the kiddies to go back to school, right? So.... **


	34. Chapter 34

The hour it took for Jasper and Emmett's return seemed much long than it should have. I spent it up in my room trying to block out the other minds in the house. It worked for the most part, but an occasional clear thought would make it's way through and interrupt the peace I was trying to find before going out with Jasper.

When they finally made it through the door, I knew I was in trouble. Emmett's thoughts, as always, were open and direct. I had no idea what Jasper had told him about our phone call, but he knew, or at least had his suspicions on what we were doing. He was not going to let this chance to tease me pass him by.

Bypassing even his wife, Emmett headed straight up the stairs to my room. He knocked on the door but didn't wait for my permission before entering. Not that I had a choice in the matter.

"So little brother, I heard maybe you weren't such a prude after all. I thought maybe I could come with and see if I could help," he said with a mischievous smile.

Getting off the bed, I walked over and turned off my stereo. "I don't think that would be a good idea. Or appropriate."

He raised his left eyebrow and chuckled. "Appropriate? Only you, Edward." Then he sobered a bit. "I am a little hurt though that you didn't come to me. I mean I know Jasper and Alice…well they definitely don't have 'problems' in that department, but everyone knows Rose and I…"

I cut him off before he could continue. "It isn't like that, Emmett." Although I was hoping to be able to leave it at that, I knew better with his current thought of 'yeah, right' followed by his imagined view of our expeditions.

Running my fingers through my hair, I took quick note of where everyone else was in the house. Alice and Jasper were in their room, but I wasn't really concerned with them. Esme, was out back working in her garden thankfully. But Rose, she was downstairs going through a fashion magazine; there was no doubt she'd hear every word.

Looking at Emmett once again, I realized I had no choice. I would have to tell him or he WOULD end up following us.

_Yes, Edward, he'll follow you if you don't tell him. _Alice's thoughts came through loud and clear.

So with a sigh, I said, "It isn't what you think. There really isn't a lot of 'discussing' involved." And before his perverted mind could make something totally inappropriate out of what I'd said, I added, "He is using his 'talent' to help me. Feel things."

I made sure to say the last part with extra emphasis, hoping he'd understand. Of course he didn't. "Sure," he said with his arms crossed, rolling his eyes. "I'm sure you just sit in the forest while he sends you fuzzy feelings."

Groaning, "Not exactly." He responded by raising his eyebrow again. "Emmett! Do I really have to discuss this with you?!" I shouted losing my temper. "This is personal!"

"Yes," he said determined. "You REALLY do. Or, if you'd like, I could just go with you and see for myself?"

He was blocking the door and although I was sure I could get around him with a little effort, I wasn't sure I could do it without causing damage to the house and Esme would not be pleased with me. It hadn't escaped my notice that Rose had now completely abandoned any pretense of NOT listening to our conversation either. Great! Not only did I have to bare my private life to Emmett, whom I knew would find some way to embarrass me with it, I would also have to deal with Rose and her opinions.

"Fine," I said, resigned. "I…think…about Bella and Jasper…enhances what I feel." I paused and looked at him pointedly. "There. Are you happy? Can I go now?"

I tried to go around him but his arm shot out to stop me. Again I could have avoided it but what was the point; he'd have his say one way or the other.

He looked me over and burst out laughing, and then he slapped me playfully on the back. _You're fantasizing?! Oh man, my baby brother is growing up!" _

Emmett actually faked a sniffle. It was my turn to roll my eyes at him. "Am I allowed to go now? I'd like to get back to Bella before she wakes up in the morning."

_Wow, those must be some fantasies. _

This time I just pushed past him and he let me by without a fight. "Don't forget, Edward," he laughed so hard it shook the walls around us. "I'm more than willing to help too."

I really couldn't get Jasper and I out of the house fast enough. Luckily, he must have felt my urgency because he was waiting in the hall for me when I came down the stairs.

We ran to our usual spot and to be honest, I was sort of looking forward to tonight. I wanted to relive our weekend together, with a few variations. This was about pushing myself, and what better way to do that than to visualize what I'd wanted to do with Bella rather than what had actually happened.

The moment Jasper sensed my change in thought, I noticed. _Maybe you don't need my help anymore, Edward. _

I doubted that. "Your help would still be greatly appreciated, Jasper."

He just nodded and waiting for me to do whatever it was I was going to do tonight.

But instead of sitting on the log as I'd done in the past, I lay down flat on the ground. I could hear the question in his mind, but he didn't voice it.

Closing my eyes, I selected the memory I had of her from this weekend walking out of the bathroom in that next to nothing black shorts and tank top. This time, I allowed myself to take in and dwell on the way the outfit hugged every inch of her body and accentuated the curves of both her breasts and her hips; the feel of both as I pulled her into my arms.

Vaguely, I registered Jaspers movement across the small open space but I was too caught up in my memories. Memories I was going to alter.

Picking her up, I carried her over to the bed and lay her down gently. Her eyes were wide and expressive. She wanted this just as much as I did. My lips found hers, allowing her to feel the edge of lust searing through me.

Just the thought of kissing her like this caused my body to react. It seemed like it took less and less with every passing day to have me more than ready.

Soon my lips on hers were not enough. I wanted to taste her, everywhere.

Trailing open mouth kissed along her jaw line, I made a path down to the pulse point in her neck. Ah, the glorious feeling of her life beneath me. It was amazing! And then her response… my Bella, as always, arched her head just slightly to give me better access. Her trust…

Every sensation, every memory of our times together sent heat flowing through me from head to foot before it found a home in the center of my body.

Following the line of her collarbone, I brushed my lips against her skin remembering the soft feel of it against my hard lips.

Instinct kicked in as I neared her breasts, telling to me stop, but this was in my mind and I didn't have to stop myself, didn't have to remember the boundaries. I did what I'd wanted to do more than anything that night; I pulled the straps of her top down one by one giving me access to her soft mounds.

Leaning down, I kissed each nipple reverently and watched as it reacted to my cold temperature. I knew they were soft, softer than the rest of her. Just the feel of them through the thin fabric of her top had been enough to threaten my sanity. What would it be like without any barriers between us? A ripple of desire shot through me at the thought.

Then I felt a building of sensation faster than before as I buried my head in between her breasts, remembering the extra intensity of her scent there. I knew Jasper was now with me on this ride of feeling but I wasn't focused on that. All I wanted was her. My Bella.

As I pulled away slightly, Bella arched her back, asking me to continue. And as always, I could not deny her request. My lips and tongue explored the delicate flesh causing those delicious moans I'd heard this weekend escape her throat.

My exploration continued and her breathing picked up. Ever so gently, I trailed my nose down from the center of her breasts down to her stomach, pushing the material out of the way as I went. Bella's flesh flushed beneath me and I knew my breathing was no longer steady either.

Gripping her hips, I pulled her closer. She gave into me willingly, as she always did, her hands coming up to weave through my hair, tugging, pulling. Her body was moving beneath me, trying to get closer, but yet I could tell she was trying to remain still at the same time, the way she always tried for me.

I didn't want her still though. Here in my mind where I could have her anyway I wanted her… What I wanted was her as completely out of control as I was.

The fire was building quickly inside me. I felt the power thrumming through my fingers. I wanted to taste her. She was so beautiful, so precious to me. And I wanted all of her.

Saturday night, I was granted a small sampling of what Bella held in her most sacred place. A part of me rebelled against what I wanted but it didn't matter because I did want it. And more than that, Bella wanted it too.

When we'd begun reading the book together and talking, I honestly hadn't considered that she'd thought about us making love in detail. The vastness of my error was startling. Bella's admission that not only did she want my mouth on her but also hers on me had left me speechless at first, I didn't think she was serious, that she was just saying what she thought I wanted to hear. I soon learned different though as we began to talk more and truthfully I wanted all those things.

My fingers curled into her flesh as the feelings of need and want flooded through me. I wanted her closer. I needed to feel her skin bare against mine as I took in her scent from her most hallowed place.

I commanded my muscles to relax and they did. A little. A part of my mind said I should stop and see exactly how much damage I'd done but I resisted. I didn't want to leave this place yet.

Her shorts were easy to strip away leaving me with only Bella. She was completely bare before me. Open. Wanting everything I was willing to give her.

I lowered myself between her legs and breathed deep. The memory of her scent sending my entire body ridged. Without stopping to think, my lips made contact.

My eyes flew open as I felt the soft ground fill my hands. I looked to my right and saw my hand completely buried in the soft earth.

Bella.

Looking back up to the sky, I pulled the memory of her lying peacefully asleep in my arms to calm myself.

Jasper was roughly fifty feet away from me trying to accomplish the same task in his own way; his mind was full of battle strategies. I blocked him out for now. The only thing I wanted to think about, needed to think about was her.

After about an hour, we'd both calmed down enough to attempt again. The second time was better, as it usually was. I knew I was improving, but would it be enough? Would Bella and I really be able to make love in six days? I had no answer to that question other than we would try.

Running back, Jasper asked me how things were going with Charlie. I told him about his comment Monday that caused Bella's anxious response the previous night. He was sympathetic to all the parties involved. And while I could also understand where Bella's father was coming from, and why he had the concerns he did, that didn't make me happy with him regarding the subject. I knew she still struggled sometimes with the possibility of my leaving, and to have it put in front of her like that… I didn't like it. I didn't like to see her hurting.

Alice met us, as always, about a mile from the house and our eyes briefly met before she conveyed her thoughts to me. _She's going to have some questions today, Edward._

Although I was a little confused by her comment, I wasn't overly concerned; Bella could ask me anything she wished. I had no secrets from her any longer.

The sun was up by the time I arrived at her house. She was wake. I felt a pang of guilt that I'd not kept my promise to be there before her eyes opened to the day. And even worse, I could hear Charlie moving around downstairs.

Bella was still in her room and as soon as I felt confident her father was otherwise occupied, I scaled the wall. Silently I brought myself through the open window landing in a crouch. Even though I made no sound, she knew I was there. Her heart skipped a beat and I heard a quick intake of breath before she turned to face me.

Beautiful.

I hated leaving her at all and I knew she missed me just as much. Opening my arms, she didn't waste a second crossing the room and wrapping herself around my hard body. Burring my face in her hair I took a deep breath enjoying the burn.

Bringing my hands up, I laced them through her brown locks molding my palms to her scalp. Her head raised ever so slightly as her lips invited me to partake. Not willing to forego the invitation, my mouth found hers soft and pliable. Bella's lips molded to mine, moving in unison as we said our hellos.

Her hands tried to find purchase on the hard unrelenting skin of my back. I allowed myself to think how different this would feel once she was like me, and just the thought of it made me pull her closer. It was so wrong of me to want her like this but I would not relinquish my hold on her. Ever.

Our lips separated, but I was not ready to let her out of my arms. We'd been apart for an entire day and I needed her. My mouth slid to the pulse point of her neck, and the memories of last night's fantasy came rushing back. I couldn't help the groan that escaped my mouth as her skin lifted and fell against my lips.

Bella's arms tightened around me, her head nuzzled into my chest. "I missed you."

Placing another kiss at the base of her neck, I cupped the back of her head with my hand and just held her. "Today, I am yours for as long as you wish."

I felt her smile. "I won't let you go."

My chest vibrated with my mirth. "I can live with that."

There was movement at the bottom of the stairs. "Bella? Are you coming down for breakfast?"

She pulled back from my arms and I felt the emptiness instantly. "Yeah, Dad. I'll be down in a second."

Looking back to me, she asked that silent question with her eyes. Brushing my lips against her forehead, I answered, "I'll go get my car and meet you downstairs."

I watched as she left the room, our hands connected until the last possible moment, and listened as she went down to greet her father. I jumped back out he window and ran home. There was no need to go inside, so I didn't. My family knew where I was if they needed me.

The Volvo's engine purred under the hood. I loved this car. And with the memories of Bella now attached to it there was no way I would ever be getting rid of it. Even after it was no longer be a drivable option, I would have it stored somewhere.

Minutes after leaving my house I pulled up in front of Bella's. I could hear the sound her father's voice clearly through the walls of her home. His thoughts were jumbled but his words were direct enough. "I talked to Renee this morning. She and Phil will be flying in on Friday. Your mom said one of the Cullen's was going to pick them up at the airport."

"I'm not sure, dad. Mom has been talking mostly to Alice and Esme."

"Oh," he said. "Well, then."

There was silence but I knew he had more to say. As much as I wanted him not to say the thoughts he was pondering, I knew he would. Charlie knew his time with Bella was coming to an end that once she married me things would be different. He just had no idea how different. And so I waited.

After another five minutes, I heard a chair scrape and then the sound of Bella's feet followed by running water. Charlie knew his time was running out. "Bella," he said and then paused again.

"Yeah, dad?"

I head the sound of another chair scarping against the floor. "I just wanted you to know, you'll always have a place here. You know…if you need it."

She was quiet for long minute before she responded. "I know."

That was it. After another long pause, I heard Charlie leave the room. Turning off the car, I made my way to the front door and knocked.

Twenty-two seconds later the door opened and she was there. My arm came up, my intent to brush her check, but before I'd even made it half way she was in my arms. "Bella?"

"Shh," she whispered.

And so I remained silent.

Our moment didn't last long, as Charlie came into the front hall. "Edward," he said, acknowledging both me and the fact that I his daughter was currently wrapped around my frame.

"Charlie," I responded, not willing to release my hold on her until she was ready.

He turned from us but the worry was so clear in his mind. I knew I would have to talk with him, assure him one final time of my love for Bella, of my devotion to her. It was a conversation I was not looking forward to but one that was inevitable.

Then I heard her. "Can we go for a walk?" she mumbled into my shirt.

"Sure," I answered.

Finally she pulled back, but just a little. "Dad. We're going for a walk."

"Take an umbrella with you," was his only verbal response.

Reaching out, I extracted the umbrella from its place in the corner and guided us outside. This was her idea, so I let her lead.

For the first few blocks, she just looked at her surroundings in almost a trance like state. I didn't like it, but I knew she would tell me what was on her mind eventually. In the end, my Bella didn't disappoint. "Will Tanya be there?"

My step faltered for a second. What? Tanya? Where? The only thing I could think of was the wedding, but she knew Tanya and the rest of the Denali clan were invited and coming. "Love, you know Tanya and the others are coming to the wedding."

She stopped. "No. Not the wedding."

Not the wedding? What could she…

"When you…" she paused and shifted on her feet before straightening her shoulders and meeting my eyes. "When you make me like you."

Oh. I hadn't expected this question, but I answered it without qualms. "No. Just Carlisle and myself will be in the room. Although I'm sure the rest of the family would like to be near."

And then she released a deep breath. I watched as her face relaxed and the worry I'd seen when I'd walked through the door recede.

My hand came up to cup her face and I made sure no one was within listening distance. When I was sure all was clear, I said. "You are giving me the greatest gift I could ever be given. We will do this however you want, wherever you want. Whenever you are ready. I have no desires on the matter other than that I wish I could spare you from the pain to come."

Bella pressed her body to mine and I held her close feeling the warmth of her body through her clothes and mine. "Thank you," she whispered.

"For what, love?"

"For loving me, for wanting to keep me forever, and for letting it be just us." Smiling, I pressed my lips to hers reverently in answer.

A minute later, she laced her fingers with mine and we resumed our walk. There were a few people on the streets and of course all of them knew Bella. Most just nodded their head or said a quick hello, but a few stopped and asked us about the wedding. Whether they spoke to us or no, they all were wondering the same thing; why were we getting married so young.

I was so very glad Bella could not read thoughts as I did. A few of the passers by glanced at her stomach looking for a tale tail bump. My gut clenched with the reminder that this was something I could never give her, something she was giving up for me.

Finally we made it back to her house to find a note from Charlie letting us know he'd went over to Billy's. There was nothing else on the note but we both knew it was anything but a social call. Bella's father was determined to find Jacob and upset no one besides him appeared to be concerned with the boy's sudden disappearance.

Neither of us spoke it though. Instead we went into the living room and selected a movie. I'm not even sure what it was exactly since I spent the time watching her. For me, the countdown of her humanity had begun even though I did not know the exact date.

As though hearing my thoughts, Bella turned to me as the movie ended. "We will be okay."

She said it as a statement but I heard the question buried within. "We will."

Shifting to face me, she asked. "Will I know you right away?"

I reached up and brushed her hair back behind her shoulders. The urge to lie to her was strong but I resisted. "I don't know. Although I do not believe it will take long."

"Will I…" She stopped and then started again. "Will I attack you, do you think?"

"Bella, love, I can't answer that; everyone is different. And you…you will be even more so because you will have had some preparation. I am hoping the shock will not be too great."

"Carlisle said I'd be disoriented."

"Yes," I said. "The first few minutes are quite overwhelming. I will be there though. No matter what."

She smiled and climbed into my lap, straddling me. My hands rested on her hips as she leaned her forehead against mine. "I know you're nervous, Edward. And not just about my change but about everything. Just know that I love you and I trust you. There is nothing we do together that can be wrong."

"I do not deserve you," I whispered.

Her lips came down to meet mine. "Yes, you do."


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N:**

**Wow! This chapter came to over 5,000 words! Lots of stuff in this chapter including some practicing. ;) Enjoy. **

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Bella and I remained on her couch talking and touching until just before five when she got up to go make dinner for her and her father. I joined her in the kitchen where she turned on the stove and took out various foods and equipment. She started humming to herself as she worked. Seeing her happy was something to be savored.

She chopped lettuce for a salad and then added tomatoes and cucumbers. My love was a natural here in the kitchen. It was sad that soon it wouldn't matter. Bella wouldn't be preparing her food this way any more; she'd be eating like me. And as much as her change frightened me still, the thrill of seeing her hunt made me want to touch her.

Careful to make a little noise as I stood, I walked over to stand behind her. My hands framed her hips and she leaned back against me. "What are you singing?" I asked her.

A slight frown creased her features. "I'm not sure. I heard it on the radio the other day and, I don't know, it just got stuck in my head," she shrugged.

She set the salad aside but continued her cutting and chopping, making some sort of vegetable concoction I'd never seen her make before. I could have asked her what it was, but I was sure it would have a fancy name although it looked fairly simple, and in truth it didn't matter. Watching her work was pleasure enough for me.

Charlie's thoughts filtered into my mind as he drew closer to home. I stiffened and began to put some distance between us but Bella's voice stopped me. "Don't you dare, Edward Cullen."

"Don't…?"

She glared at me over her shoulder and then put both her hands over both of mine and tugged telling me she wanted me closer. Doing as she wished, I stepped back where I had been moments before and she sighed in contentment before saying in a calmer tone, "I know Charlie must be coming, but we've had this discussion."

Yes. We were getting married in five days and Charlie needed to get used to seeing us being affectionate with each other. I understood where she was coming from, but I didn't think pushing the issue would help her father with his protective concern. However, he was her father and it was her choice.

So as a way of showing her I was relenting I slid my hands forward, resting them on her stomach, and placed a soft kiss to the top of her head. Bella's heart sped and her breathing hitched. I couldn't help but smile.

But then it was my turn to stop breathing as she pushed her hips back into mine wiggling just a little. My eyes closed and my fingers flexed at the wonderful feeling of softness against steel. She dropped the knife in her hand again and reached up to wrap her arms around my neck while tilting her head back. Her fingers glided to my hair as she pulled my lips down to meet hers.

Bella moaned when our lips met, but the kiss was over all too soon as Charlie's cruiser pulled in the drive. She let her fingers slide back down my neck, pulled her hands away, and turned back to her work. I could tell she was waiting for me to bolt, but I didn't. If she wanted me touching her, I would do as my love wished. No matter what her father may think.

Charlie came in the door a minute later and took in the scene. A low grunt left his lips, although I didn't think Bella could hear it. As usual, his thoughts were resigned.

For her part, Bella turned her head toward her father and told him dinner would be ready in about twenty minutes. She was all smiles for Charlie. It was as if she was not aware of his displeasure, but I knew she must be. No one I had ever met was as observant as Bella.

Her father left us to go into the living room while I remained in the kitchen with Bella. The knowledge that our talk would have to come soon did not put me at ease because I honestly didn't know how to help him. I could tell him that I loved his daughter more than my own life or well-being. I could reassure him that she would want for nothing financially for the rest of her days.

But that wasn't what he wanted. Charlie wanted a guarantee that I wouldn't hurt her again, and that was a wish neither I, nor any other could grant. Not only would I hurt her physically by making her like me, but I had no doubt that as much as I may try to be perfect for her, to love her with all my being, that I would enviably mess up.

Bella's voice broke through my thoughts. "What's he thinking?" she whispered.

I debated for half a second whether or not to lie, but Carlisle's chastisement reminding me to treat Bella as an equal forced me to tell the truth. "He's worried about you and me. He doesn't want to see me hurt you again."

She shrugged. "You won't."

"Bella…"

Her head turned just enough so she could glance up at me, the expression on her face one of waiting. Obviously she wanted me to put my guarantee of future failure into words. "Love, I WILL hurt you again. You know that I will. As much as I wish that it were different…"

Going back to her task, she shook her head and said, "Stop. We both know what I will have to go through to become like you. And it's my choice, which means my pain. You aren't doing it 'to' me, Edward. You're doing it 'for' me."

I sighed and pulled her closer burring my nose in the crook of her neck and inhaling deeply. A flash burn went up my nostrils and down my throat. Bella's life.

"It will be me," I whispered.

She dropped the knife for the third time and turned in my arms. "I will not…"

I cut her off with a kiss. It wasn't anything heated with her father in the next room, but as distractions went I thought it was wonderful. Just to feel her lips moving against mine while her body was pressed against me was making it hard to concentrate on Charlie's thoughts.

When our lips parted, she laid her head against my chest right over my silent heart. "I love you," she whispered. "And I will not let you beat yourself up. I want this." She looked up and met my eyes. "You know how much I want this, want you. Forever. And any pain… It will be more than worth it."

Brushing the hair behind her ear, I let the strains fall softly though my fingertips. "I'm not just talking about that type of pain. Bella, I will mess up eventually. I will make a wrong decision or say something to hurt you. He wants a promise that I am unable to give him."

Then it was like a light came into her eyes. "Charlie wants you to promise never to hurt me? You mean like never make mistakes hurt me?"

I shrugged it off. "He is a father, Bella. And he loves you very much."

Her spine stiffened and she almost glared at the doorway through which her father could be located, then she turned back to me. Bella's hands came up and pulled my face back down to hers. The lips that met mine were forceful. I once again had to be careful that she didn't harm herself.

She wouldn't ease her pull on my hair or the pressure of her lips and I was beginning to worry. Finally she pulled away enough to speak, her warm breath brushing over my cold, wet lips. "You," she said with more forcefulness than I'd ever heard out of her mouth, "will stop with this ridiculous idea Charlie has put into your head."

I loved her so much. This small, frail, human had no problem holding her own against a vampire. And not just me. With my entire family she gave as good as she got. Then in Italy, when most humans would have been on the ground hopelessly begging for their lives, she was standing firmly beside me, ready and willing to die in order to protect me.

The impulse to kiss her again suddenly overwhelmed me and I didn't fight it.

That was how Charlie found us. I'd heard him coming, but was beyond caring. She was right. She was always right. I really should stop doubting her.

As Charlie stood in the doorway clearing his throat, I removed my lips from hers with a smile. I watched as her eyes opened and found mine, there was amusement in them as well. Then she tightened her arms around my waist as she turned her head toward her father. "Hi, dad. Dinner's just about done."

She released me and turned to make the final preparations to their meal. Her father remained where he was just inside the door watching us. His mind was full of conflicting emotions. He could see the love between us, but he was still unsure. Ultimately, he wanted her happy.

So for the second time that evening, I went with my impulse and did what I wanted to do. Leaning down, I placed a soft kiss on her check before turning my head slightly to whisper in her ear, "I'll be in the living room. Enjoy your dinner."

And then I was gone, leaving Charlie and Bella alone to have their meal while I passed the time watching whatever I could find interesting on the television.

Two hours later, I was in Bella's room waiting on her to come up the stairs. Their dinner had been a quiet affair, the sound of utensils scraping against china filling the air.

It wasn't unusual for Bella and Charlie not to talk during dinner, but this was a rather charged silence. I couldn't read my love's mind but I had no doubt she wanted to say something to her father regarding his thinking. She knew she couldn't though. How would she explain knowing something like that?

For Charlie's part, he was very literally replaying every moment he'd witnessed of our relationship. He knew she loved me, and he was near positive I loved her just as much. But then he'd started thinking about the time when I'd left and the worry would creep in again.

Only then did I realize that physical hurt had never entered his mind when it came to his daughter and myself. His concern wasn't about bodily harm at all, but totally and utterly emotional. A hazy thought filtered through to me showing an older Bella on his doorstep looking worn and beaten down emotionally. She was alone and I could see the emptiness in her eyes. And even though I knew it would never come to be, the ache in my chest had nearly left me in dry, choking sobs.

So as soon as it was acceptable, I'd said my goodbyes and told my love I'd be waiting in her room.

I could hear her downstairs moving around. She'd long cleaned up the kitchen and even put in a load of laundry. Now it sounded like she was…moving furniture? That didn't make sense.

Then I heard her voice. "Dad?"

I heard the voices on the television go silent. "Yeah, Bells?"

"What exactly does Edward have to do to make you happy?"

"Excuse me?"

"Just stop. I know you're still not happy about…this, but it's our decision and it's what we want. Why can't you just be happy for us?"

Charlie didn't answer right away verbally, but in his thoughts he was screaming. Finally, he found words. "What if he leaves you again? Drags you halfway across the country, and then… Bella I don't…I can't see you hurt like that again."

I heard the give of springs and knew she sat down. "Oh dad. Edward isn't going to leave me again. He made a mistake and he's more than made up for it." I knew Charlie was going to contradict her, but obviously she knew it too because then I heard, "No. Let me finish," she paused. "I love him. He is who I want. Forever. I'm never going to want anyone else. Dad, I just want you to be happy for me. Happy that I've found someone as wonderful as, Edward."

She was quiet again for a few seconds and then, "Can you please try? For me?"

Her father seemed to be stunned into silence. Even his mind was unclear to me. He couldn't seem to focus on a single thought. And then, "I'll try, Bells."

"Thank you dad," she said, and I could hear the smile in her voice.

Charlie just sort of grunted in response. It was reluctant, yes, but sincere nonetheless.

I heard the couch springs creak once again. "I'm going to take my shower and then maybe read a little. Night, dad."

"Goodnight, Bells."

And then I heard her feet on the stairs.

I was sitting in the rocking chair when she walked in the door. She glanced over at me with a tentative smile and then went to her dresser. Her back was to me, but I could see her every movement as she picked out her nightclothes. Then she turned around and once again gave me a small smile. "I'll be back," she said.

Watching her walk out the door, I pondered her actions. Did she think I was upset with her for saying something to Charlie? I wasn't. Although I didn't agree with her on the fact that I'd more than made up' for leaving her, I knew she was trying to help the situation, and Charlie's thoughts did seem more at peace now.

And so I waited. The shower came on in the small bathroom next door and as always, the image of Bella in the shower flashed through my mind. For a creature who only took showers due to my close proximity to humans on a regular bases, was it strange that one of my reoccurring fantasies was Bella and me bathing together? Bathing would be a lose interpretation of what I was thinking but it had all the elements: water, soap, Bella.

I needed to change the direction of my thoughts. My body was starting to react to the vivid images floating though my mind. What would she think if she came in and found me this way?

As if reading my thoughts, the water in the bathroom stopped. I listened as she moved, wishing I were there with her.

This was not helping!

Forcing myself to block out what was going on in the next room I turned my attention to Charlie downstairs. He had on a baseball game and his mind was currently on how he couldn't believe anyone with hands could have missed a play like that. He was very upset about it, as it seems that the error had caused the opposing team to take the lead against his Mariners.

I loved playing baseball or even going to a game, but watching it on television didn't hold much appeal for me. It did however, allow me to calm down by the time my love walked back into her bedroom, her hair wet from her shower.

She walked over to put her dirty clothes into the hamper beside her closet before turning back to me. Her bottom lip was being held between her teeth. Bella was obviously nervous about something. I opened my arms, inviting her to come to me. And with no more than a seconds delay, she did.

As she sat down on my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck, I felt her warm breath as she exhaled against my skin. I held her close and rocked a little, placing a kiss to her temple. "What's wrong, love?"

"Are you mad?"

"Mad? At what?"

"Charlie," was all she said.

"No. Why would you think I'd be?"

She shrugged. I wanted to press her but decided against it.

We sat like that for twelve and a half minutes before my thoughts took a different route and I thought to ask her something else that had been on my mind. "I was wondering..." She shifted her body in my arms so she'd be able to look up at me. "I was curious as to why you asked about Tanya earlier."

"Oh," she said, lowering her eyes, in a voice barely audible even to my ears.

Yes? I wanted to say, but didn't. Although it was torture, I would wait for her to gather her thoughts.

"It was stupid," she whispered.

Taking one hand, I brushed her hair back from her face and raised her chin so I could once again see those beautifully expressive brown eyes. "Nothing you are thinking or feeling is stupid to me, love. Tell me."

She exhaled forcefully and a rush of her scent hit me square in the face. It was mixed with the minty flavor of her toothpaste but still all Bella.

Her bottom lip once again disappeared behind her teeth and I rubbed my thumb across the soft flesh trying to get her to release it. Eventually she did and her sheepish eyes met mine as she began to speak. "When I wake up. After. I'm going to be…wild, right?" She didn't wait for me to answer before going on. "I mean I'll be at my worse and…well…"

And then I understood, seeing, once again, the insecurity on her face. She was still worried over Tanya's attempts to snare me.

Bringing my right hand up to cup the other side of her face, I leaned down so that our noses were almost touching. "Love, even on your worst day, Tanya could not compare. She could not hold a candle to you."

"Okay," she said, trying to lower her eyes but I held firm.

"You do not believe me?"

She sighed. "Edward, it's just… I saw Bree, remember. I know what a newborn is like, what I'll be like. I'll be wild and irrational. And if she was there… Well…"

"You think she would try to take advantage of the situation?"

"Yes," she sighed.

I pulled her close burying her head in my shoulder and my face in her hair so that my mouth was just above her ear. "Tanya will not be there, love. It will be just us. I will be by your side each and every second. And when you awake, you will be like me. My mate. Forever. And if it takes a year or five for you to get yourself under control… For us to be like this again, that will be okay. What I told you earlier was true; you are giving me a gift. You are giving me your humanity. I will never, would never, take that for granted."

"I'm sorry, Edward. I just…"

"You're nervous," I stated.

"Yes, but not about the change exactly, more…I don't know."

I sat her back up so that I was able to look into her eyes once again. "Tell me."

"I want to be perfect for you," she whispered.

My smile at her declaration could not be contained. "You are perfect for me. Here. Now. Just as you are. And I will take you any way I can have you Miss. Swan." I suddenly felt the urge to lighten the mood a little. My hands drifted down to her sides. With just enough movement and pressure, I felt her begin to squirm on my lap.

Then I heard what I most wanted to. Her laugh. Bubbling up from deep within her chest. "Edward!" she said as I continued to tickle her. "Stop. Please," she gasped. "Charlie."

She was correct in that if she didn't calm down soon it would be sure to draw her father's attention, so I moved my palms to her back and held her firmly as she caught her breath. Leaning in once again, I placed a soft kiss on her nose. Her response to that was to tilt her head up and press her lips against mine. Our mouths moved together in a rhythm that we had perfected long ago as her hands came up to tangle in my hair.

When the time came for her to pull away, she didn't go far. Bella's lips placed soft kisses along my jaw line until she came to my ear. Her breath against my skin felt amazingly warm. "Come," she whispered, before getting up off my lap.

I was a little confused, still caught up in the hormone filled trance my love always left me in. She tugged at my hand, asking me to follow. Bella walked to the bed and lay down requesting me silently to join her.

Getting onto the bed with her, I moved to lie beside her but her hand on my arm stopped me. Her hands moved to my hair again as I hovered over her pulling, asking me to come closer. The moment I was within an acceptable distance, her lips claimed mine again.

It took some careful maneuvering on my part, but I was able to support myself while aligning my body over hers. Our mouths moved together, molding to one another. As our breathing became heavier, I felt the heat of Bella's body increase. My own body's reaction could not be denied as the heat of my center grew along with other parts of my anatomy.

I tried to put some distance between us, slow things down, but she would not allow it. She kept pulling my mouth back to hers every time mine started to stray. The heat was in every muscle of my body and even though my eyes were closed, I could feel the complete flush covering Bella's skin. The groan that escaped my lips at just the thought of her beautiful, pink tinted flesh beneath me could not be stopped.

There was no such thing as too close to her. I wanted more. Oh how I needed more. I adjusted my weight so my left arm was supporting all of me, and lifting my right hand from where it had been resting on the bed I wedged it beneath her back.

Her heat was blazing under my palm and I briefly wondered at how my cold felt to her, but then it didn't matter. Bella lifted her back slightly giving me better access, as she held tighter to my neck.

Using my new leverage, I pulled her upper body against mine and groaned anew as her thinly covered breasts pressed against my chest. It reminded me of last night and it took all I had to keep from making that fantasy a reality.

And then it was my turn to gasp as Bella pulled her legs up and wrapped them around my waist. "Bella…"

She didn't answer in words, but instead moved her hips against mine. My lips left hers and my head fell back. I felt so much! Her body. Her heat.

And her smell!

Oh her smell. My throat was burning but I welcomed it. Not because it meant her life, which it did, but because it was the only thing grounding me. I couldn't stop myself from pressing back against her heat. She felt amazing. Wonderful. I had no idea what I'd done to deserve her but I would make sure that there would never be a day that went by in our forever where she did not know of my love for her.

The hand on her back slid down to cup the round softness of her behind. My fingers flexed knowing how close I was to her. I buried my head in her neck and breathed deep as I gripped her tighter, pulling her closer.

It was her turn to gasp. Her back arched as we pressed against each other. I knew she could feel me and for the first time that knowledge did not bother me in the slightest. Bella's back arched in an attempt to get closer. The feel was just too much and a low growl vibrated through my chest.

The sound was very quiet. I wasn't even sure if she heard it. But it was enough to bring me back to my senses. I released her immediately and crossed to the other side of the room in a flash.

It was an over reaction, I knew it. We'd come so far but… I growled! At Bella! And it felt…I felt…wild.

"Edward?" Her voice was tentative and I knew in that instant that she was concerned for me, eyes wide with question.

The guilt filled me and I forced myself to move back to the bed. To her.

She was so still. I knew she was afraid she'd done something wrong. Bella was sitting up, and I sat down beside her. "I'm sorry."

It was such a simple thing to say and yet with those two words I hoped to convey so much. But she just looked at me, her eyes roaming my face as if trying to comprehend. Eventually she seemed to give up and asked, "What happened? I mean…why did you…"

I hung my head in shame. We'd agreed to be honest and as much as it pained me to admit what I'd done, I knew I needed to. "I…" It was so hard to it the words out. "I growled." Those two words sounded so finite. The words that just maybe would make her change her mind.

Really I should have known better. "I know," she said with a smile.

The only thing I could do was stare. She heard me? And she was…okay with it? Shaking my head I cupped her face in my hands before voicing my thoughts. "It doesn't bother you? That I growled at you?"

"No," she said. My disbelieve must have shown because after a half a minute she added, "It's part of who you are, Edward. Part of what I love about you." Then she closed the distance between us and brought her own hands to mold against my hard face. She opened her mouth and then closed it quickly before blushing. Then squaring her shoulders she said, "It was nice. To hear you. Lose control. I mean to know that you were enjoying it too."

"Bella…" I said and then my mouth was covering hers again. This time I pulled her back to lie on top of me.

I have no doubt that we would have ended up in a similar situation as before had the sound of her father coming up the stairs not stopped us. Placing a swift kiss to her forehead, I ducked into her closet and out of sight.

Charlie knocked on the door five seconds later and Bella's voice beckoned him to come in. Through his mind I could see her sitting on the bed. She'd grabbed her copy of Withering Heights that she kept on her nightstand and held it closed in her hands as she looked up from the bed at her father.

"Um. Bells I wondered if you were gonna be around tomorrow?"

"I don't know, dad. Edward will probably be here in the morning and we'll decide then."

There was a clear question in her voice and Charlie picked up on it. "I was thinking of maybe getting some fishing in if you two were going to be out, but if you're going to stay here then I don't have to go."

I knew Bella loved her father, but they were not overly emotional with each other and each had their own interests. "Don't worry about it, dad. Go have fun. Even if Edward and I do stay here we'll mostly like just watch a movie or something."

He clearly had his doubts about our activities here in the house alone but he didn't voice them. Instead he asked, "Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all. Go."

Charlie sighed and then turned to go. But before he stepped back through the threshold he turned back around. His next words stunned me as I only heard them in his thoughts a moment before he spoke them. "Do you think…maybe Edward would like to join us for dinner?"

She took a moment too long to answer and Charlie began to nervously shift on his feet. I knew what Bella was thinking. How I would be forced to eat human food in front of her father to keep up the appearance and also what she knew I'd have to do after. For me, however, it was not a question. Her father was making an effort and unless she said she did not want me there, I would eat the entire meal if need be.

Her voice broke through my revelry. "Sure, dad. I'll ask him." With that he left the room and closed the door.

As soon as I could be sure he was no longer in hearing distance I removed myself from the closet and came back to sit with her on the bed. I wrapped my arms around her and rested my cheek on her head. "I would love to have dinner with you and your father tomorrow evening."

"But…"

"Shh. Let me worry about it. He is trying, Bella. It is what you asked him to do."

She sighed. "I know. I just…"

I didn't let her finished as I covered her mouth gently with mine. The intense need from earlier was dulled but still there as I leaned back to brush the hair away from her face. Looking over her shoulder to her alarm clock, I noticed it was already almost eleven. "You should sleep, love. It's late."

"Will you be here tomorrow?"

I smiled and moved us to lie down on the bed. Bella curled up and rested her head on my hard chest and her arm across my waist. "Tomorrow I belong solely to you."

She yawned. "And we can practice more?"

"One track mind," I chuckled.

"Mmmm. I like practicing," she whispered, her voice showing the first signs of her impending slumber.

Placing a kiss on her head I held her just a little tighter. "So do I," I whispered back.

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**End Chapter Notes:**

**I just wanted to let you all know that I started another story here on . It's called Finding Bella and if you haven't check it out yet, you can find it here .net/s/5396401/1/Finding_Bella. **


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N:**

**Just a short note before you read this chapter. I had a few of you show concern for this story since I've started another one. Relax. Perspective will be finished. I don't like it when authors abandon stories anymore than you do. And although I know this is my first Twilight fic, I've written two others from in another fandom that are complete. I'm not going anywhere. :)**

**Now...on with what you actually want to read. ;)**

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Bella's talking ended a little after two in the morning. Just before three, I took the opportunity to run home and change. The house was quiet so I took my time; I knew my love would not be awake for several more hours.

By the time I made my way back through her window, the sun was already coming up and Charlie was gone. Bella's house had a much different feel at night than my own. I really couldn't explain it. It was more than just the heartbeats that filled the air.

I debated with myself whether or not I should spend the rest of Bella's slumber in the rocking chair or rejoin her in her bed, but after already spending two hours away from her tonight I wanted to be as close as possible.

Climbing onto her bed, I lay along her side careful not to touch her with my cold body. It was a worthless effort however. Within five minutes of rejoining her in the bed, Bella was rolling toward me. It was as if she could sense my presence. Her head remained on the pillow, but her arm draped across my chest. I spent the first few hours of the morning watching the sun chase across the angles of her features.

My love had managed to go to bed at a decent hour last night, well at least an acceptable time for her considering how much she seemed to try and avoid sleeping any more than absolutely necessary, and so her breathing began to change just before eight. I watched, as she slowly began to regain consciousness. The simple beauty of watching her coming awake was something I would always treasure.

Her eyes finally fluttered open and met mine. A lazy smile covered her face as she stretched. I smiled back and brought my hand up to move three pieces of hair that decided to weave themselves with her delicate eyebrows. Bella's eyes followed my movement. "Thanks," she whispered.

"You're welcome," I said, my smile growing. "Did you sleep well?"

"Mmmm," she said, stretching again. This time, though, she moved her body to drape more fully over mine. I shifted to try and make it more comfortable for her and wrapped my arm around her waist. "I woke up and you weren't here," she pouted.

Although her face said sadness, I could see the playfulness in her eyes and I chuckled. "Sorry, love. I ran home to change."

Then the smile was back, "Is Charlie gone?"

"Yes. He left before daybreak." She nodded and lay her cheek back down to lie on my shoulder. Watching Bella whether awake or asleep was beyond delightful. Both had very different appeals but equally as strong.

My thoughts were broken with her asking what our plans were for the day. "We can do anything you wish. Alice has no need for us for the next few days and your father is gone until tonight. Did you have something you wished to do?"

Immediately I saw her bottom lip dart behind her teeth and my senses went on alert. I had to bite my own lip in order to keep myself from demanding that she tell me. Last night she'd said she wanted to practice more today, but I was hoping to keep that to a minimum. Tonight, I was planning to go with Jasper one last time and I wasn't sure if testing my control before then would be a good idea. Although 'practicing' with Bella was always enjoyable.

Just as I was about to go crazy for the waiting, Bella spoke. "I want to do some more reading. And talking?"

She said this last part as a question, like she was unsure if I'd be willing. It did not take a genius to know what she wanted to read, nor what it was she wished to talk about. The discussion of sex with Bella still made me nervous but even I had to admit to myself that my reservations were disappearing. Not the ones in regards to the knowledge and very real possibility that I could harm her during our attempt, but the ones that had told me for so long that thinking of her that way was wrong.

"Maybe we should get you some breakfast first," I said. If we were going to do as she wished, then I did not want her to neglect herself in return. We had all day; Charlie would not be home until dinner.

She seemed reluctant to get up and as she looked at me I saw the question was still in her eyes so I answered it for her. "Then we can talk," I said gently while rubbing small circles along her back.

Her response sent chills down my spine as she pressed her warm lips ever so softly against my neck before rising from the bed.

After Bella finished eating a bowl of nasty looking cereal, we headed back upstairs. She took a few 'human minutes' before joining me in her bedroom.

My love had donned a short sleeve t-shirt and jeans for our day in. The clothing wasn't tight but none of her curves were lost to me. I tried to keep my mind focused on mundane things but knowing what we were about to discuss, and my thoughts from just hours before, had me clinching my fist.

Bella noticed. The hand not holding the book wrapped around mine gently rubbing, silently asking me to relax. I know she thought I was nervous in regards to what we were about to read but that wasn't it exactly. It was the fact that I wanted to not only discuss these things with her, but do them as well. Now.

There were only one hundred and two hours until she would become my wife. As a vampire, that was an insignificant amount of time, the blink of an eye, but it seemed much longer to me at that moment.

I wasn't relaxing and I heard Bella's heartbeat pick up it's pace brining my mind back to my current surroundings. Looking over, I saw the panic in her eyes. Yet again, she was worried about me.

Unfolding my fingers, I flipped my hand to hold hers. Raising our entwined fingers, I pressed a kiss reverently to her skin. "Shall we begin?"

She continued watching my face, searching. Gradually her features relaxed and she brought the book down to rest between us. Bella opened it to where we'd left off. The chapter was entitled, _Doing It, The ABC's of Intercourse._ I wasn't sure if I was ready for this, but with a deep breath I placed my hand on the nearest page and began reading. 

I was obviously able to read more quickly than she, and neither one of us wanted to read the sections out loud, so early on we'd decided to read one section at a time on our own and then discuss it before moving on to the next one.

The first two sections turned out to be recaps of earlier chapters; important things the author felt needed to be rehashed. After that it began to get more uncomfortable. The words _utilize your entire body including and especially your hands, lips, and tongue to provide stimulation over all areas of your partners body_ jumped out at me and impulsively I swallowed. The memory of Bella's lips and tongue from just two nights ago were on replay in my mind.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

I looked down to find my hand once again in a fist. Flexing my fingers, I rested it once again on the side of the book and nodded at Bella. But instead of going back to her reading, she asked, "What's wrong? Did you read something? I mean we don't have to do anything you don't want to."

Sighing, I placed a kiss on her temple. I debated for two one hundredths of a second on whether to tell her. In the end, there was not a question and I was fairly sure from past experience she would be okay with it. "I was thinking about the other night." Her eyebrow rose in question. Of course she would make me say the words. I should have known. "The book was talking about using your entire body and…"

Then she smiled at me sheepishly, a rosy blush climbing up her neck. "You seemed to like that, "she whispered.

I groaned. My body was betraying me. I tried to shift in a way that she would not know what I was doing, but I should have known better. Her eyes fell to my lap. A quick intake of breath followed by a sure reaction by her heart. This was not helping me calm down. And then she reached for me.

My hand shot out at lightening speed catching her only an inch away from her goal. Why was this so difficult?! I was a vampire, she a human. I've had a century to hone self-control and my body's reactions, but with her I had nothing, at least not when it came to my want of her physically. Only moments away from releasing her hand and letting her do whatever she wished, I felt her pull back against my hold.

Letting go, I watched her place her hand innocently back in her lap. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I guess I got a little carried away. It happens a lot when I'm with you, you know," she smirked trying to lighten the mood.

Although my body was still very much aware of her, I took a calming breath and placed one hand over top hers. "I know," I said, pausing to debate my next words only briefly. "I seem to have the same affliction in your presence."

She looked up and smiled at me fully then. "I really like that you're letting yourself go a little. It doesn't make me think it's only me that wants this."

At her words I stopped breathing. How could she still think I did not want to be with her in this way? Turning slightly, I took both hands and cupped her face between them. "No matter how much I must restrain myself, Bella, know this, I want you in every way I might have you. I desire everything about you and although we will have to limit ourselves until your…" The side of my mouth lifted in a half smile, "renovations are complete that does not change my feelings on the matter."

Bella's eyes blinked several times as I watched her swallow very deliberately. "Maybe we shouldn't wait," she said in a voice so low I almost didn't hear her.

I laughed and placed a soft kiss on her lips before releasing her. "Shall we get back to our reading?" She sighed, but turned her attention back to the book.

We spent the next several hours reading and talking. There was a lot to cover in the two chapters we read. The most embarrassing and uncomfortable part came with a discussion on how it might feel for both of us given the difference in our body temperatures. Although I was not worried that that part of my being a vampire would cause her harm, it was a concern as far as her discomfort.

The book had also talked about increased blood flow to the area, which I already knew from my times in medical school. Bella, however, was curious as to how that might feel to me.

We had discussed so much and even finished the summary at the back of the book. One thing our day made me realized was that there were still so many unknowns. I knew what it felt like to kiss Bella, to hold her in my arms, to smell her, but I didn't know what it would feel like to make love to her. From everything I'd observed through both human mind and vampire, and then the discussion with my brothers, I was under no misapprehension in regards to the intensity that our experience together would no doubt have upon me. I was nervous, yes, but all I had to do was look at my love and be reminded as to why I…we…were doing all this.

As we went downstairs to get Bella a snack, the phone rang. I knew Bella had gotten some calls the last few days from her friends and even a couple from her mother, so I was surprised when she let me know it was Reverend Webber.

"Um, yeah he's here right now," she paused listening to something he was saying. "I think so, but let me make sure." Then she put the phone against her chest and turned to me. "He wants to meet with us on Friday to go over the vows."

I nodded. "Anytime is fine with me, but I do believe Alice may be in need of you in the evening so maybe something in the morning or afternoon?"

She relayed the information back through the phone. "Okay. We'll see you here around two then. Thanks. Bye."

When she hung up the phone and turned back to me, her bottom lip was being held by her teeth. I opened my arms, inviting her to me, and she sank into my embrace effortlessly. "Everything all right?"

"Yeah,' she shrugged.

"Bella?" I knew something he said must be on her mind and I wished she would just tell me.

"It's nothing really. He just said he likes to give the couples he marries a little 'getting to know you' interview. I know it's silly, but I always worry when people start asking questions." Then she looked up at me and said, "I know you have to lie sometimes, but I prefer it if you don't have to. Is that silly?"

I chuckled. "No, love. It's not silly," I said, placing a kiss on her forehead. "I feel the same way about you."

We stayed like that for a few minutes before she got up to grab a quick snack. There were a few hours before Charlie was due home so we went into the living room to see what was on the television. I have to admit though, not much 'watching' actually occurred; at least not of the television.

About five minutes into the show she'd selected, she asked about dinner. I assured her she could fix anything she liked and not to worry about it. That wasn't the answer she wanted, and Bella continued to persist until I told her the easiest things for me to hide were those items that could be broken down into smaller bites. The rest of the afternoon was spent watching her contemplate what to make for dinner.

At four, I pulled Bella into my arms for a quick goodbye before running home to get my car. It would not look good for me to be here with no vehicle out front. I knew Charlie was trying, but I was sticking with my original plan to attempt to make it as easy on him as possible.

I came through the back door to find Esme in the kitchen with a Swiffer duster in her hand. She turned as she saw me enter and smiled. _Welcome home, Edward. "_How's Bella today?"

It had been days since I'd talked to Esme, and although Bella was expecting me back soon I took a few minutes to share with the only mother I'd known for the last eighty years. "She's doing good, although she's a little nervous about tonight, I think."

_Is something wrong?_ Her mind began going over possible things that could be making Bella nervous but was drawing a blank with the reference to tonight.

"No. It's nothing really," I chuckled. "Her father has invited me to have dinner with them."

"Oh," she said. "I thought Charlie gave you and Bella his blessing?" she asked confused.

It was my fault really. I hadn't shared with any of my family the not so pleasant thoughts my future father-in-law had been thinking ever since we announced our impending nuptials. "He did, but he has been having some difficulty with the concept. Especially of us marrying so young," I smiled.

_Oh, Edward. _"I'm sorry." Her remorse to my plight was clear. _But you said he invited you to dinner?_

I sighed. "Bella talked to him last night and he asked her if I would join them for dinner this evening." I shrugged, "He is attempting to make a peace offering. Charlie has never made a pretense of liking me since I returned."

Esme's sadness over what I had to endure emotionally was beginning to make me uncomfortable. I knew she felt I didn't deserve Charlie's feelings, but I did. I'd earned all of it and more. But no matter what he thought of me, Bella was the only thing that mattered, and she wanted to be with me so that is what I was giving her.

Pushing off the counter, I walked to my room to put the book I'd brought back away. My mother's thoughts followed me until I'd once again left the house and had driven my Volvo out of range. Esme only wanted to see me happy, and I know she wished she could fix things with Charlie for me, but she couldn't, no one could.

By the time I pulled up to Bella's house, Charlie's cruiser was already there. I'd just walked up to the door when I heard footsteps approach. And as I was raising my arm to knock, the entrance swung open to revel an exasperated Bella. Her eyes roamed over my body and then held my own obviously searching for something.

Then she was in my arms, her head buried in my chest. "I thought you'd be back sooner," she whispered.

Placing a kiss on top of her hair, I whispered back, "Sorry, love. I didn't mean to worry you. I was just talking with Esme."

"Oh," she said, hugging a little tighter. Then she stepped back and grabbed my hand, dragging me into the kitchen.

We were alone. I could hear her father in the next room watching television. When Bella reached the counter, she turned around and brought her hands up to thread through my hair. My arms slid around her waist, and my head lowered finding her lips with my own. It never failed to amaze me how just a little time away from her seemed so much greater than reality.

I took my time as I moved my lips against hers, holding her close to me. A timer went off and Bella reluctantly let me go, turning around to remove a steak from the oven. The smell wafting up was not pleasant and I struggled not to wrinkle my nose. Cow. Ugh.

She turned around and looked at me, a clear question on her face, and then she said, "I made two steaks. Charlie will eat one and I'll eat half of the other. They're both pretty well done," she frowned, and seemed to waffle over her next comments. "Do you want me to make you one really rare in case you have to eat it? I mean maybe if you can taste the blood…"

I cut her off by placing a single finger over her lips. "Bella, love, thank you for thinking of me, but what you have already prepared is fine." Then I did wrinkle my nose for her benefit. "Cow is cow no matter how you present it."

Then she laughed. I shouldn't have been amazed at her reaction, but I was. "Not a big cow fan, are you?"

"No," I replied with equal humor.

She smiled back at me for a minute and then frowned again. "Isn't there anything I can do to make this easier?"

The cold fingers of my left hand came up and brushed her warm cheek. "Bella, please don't worry about me. It will not be the first time I've had to eat food and it will not be the last. I will be fine," I said, ending my statement with a gentle brush of my lips to hers.

She sighed, sending a rush of her scent to me and I inhaled deeply. Bella smelled much better than cow.

I helped her put everything on the table and then she called her father in. As we began gathering food onto our plates, I was very aware of both Bella and her father watching me. Each had their reasons of course; she was worried about me, and Charlie was trying to force himself into acceptance of my presence. It was then that any questions I had about having to eat tonight vanished.

Charlie took a bite of his steak and then looked straight at me, waiting for me to take one of my own. I stabbed one of the bite size squares of meat I'd cut with my fork and felt Bella tense. Looking over, I smiled at her, letting her know it was okay. And then I raised it to my mouth.

As soon as it hit my tongue, I had to lock my muscles to keep from showing just how revolting it tasted. Shortly after Bella had discovered what I was, we'd talked about the taste of human food to me. I'd told her, or left her the impression at least, that it tasted like dirt. Truthfully, I thought that might be an insult to dirt.

But manfully, I slowly began to chew even though the food had been completely pulverized the second it had come in contact with my teeth. Swallowing, I looked over at Bella, and smiled. I wanted her to know it was okay, that I could do this. She still looked apprehensive, but gave me a tentative smile back.

Charlie's thoughts brought my attention back to him the moment before I heard him speak. "Bella's a great cook. I don't think you'll ever have to worry about starving."

He was still watching me, waiting for my reaction. So I picked up a potato and some green beans and placed them into my mouth. It appeared I was going to be under constant scrutiny tonight so I gave up the idea of pretending; not that it mattered, I'd have to expel what I'd already eaten anyway.

For the rest of the dinner, Charlie continued to watch as I continued to choke down the food. He asked me a few questions including what I was planning to major in. I explained that I'd been thinking about going pre-med and following in Carlisle footsteps. It was the truth; I had been considering that course for my next foray into college life.

Charlie was fairly pleased with my answer, although then he began thinking of all the long hours I'd have to spend at the hospital and away from Bella. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. The constant worry he had of her being alone was hard to bare as his mind would periodically flash back to that empty, broken girl from my absence.

When dinner was finished, I helped Bella clean up. She kept watching me and finally I asked her if there was something wrong. "No," she said, but I could tell she was deep in thought.

I stopped what I was doing and turned to take her in my arms. Her head rested against my chest as I buried my nose in her hair. "Tell me," I whispered.

She remained quiet for a long time and although I tried to remain patient, my hands roamed her back as a way to release some of the anxiety I was dealing with. It was also a useful distraction from the lead weight currently in my stomach.

When she spoke, it was with an apology. "I'm sorry you had to eat the food. Was it horrible?"

Pulling away from her slightly so I could look into those expressive eyes of hers, I waiting until I could hold her gaze. "No, love. It was not horrible. Nothing I do in regards to you is horrible."

"But you'll have to…"

She paused looking for the right word, but I finished her thought for her. "Yes," I said softly trying to ease her obvious suffering to what she saw as my discomfort. "But I'll take care of it before I meet up with Jasper, so not to worry."

A frown creased her features. I didn't understand until I remembered I'd not told her I was leaving her tonight. "Jasper?"

I placed my hands on either side of her cheeks and brought my lips down to hers. She kissed me back effortlessly. "I'm sorry," I whispered against her now wet lips. "I should have told you." I kissed her softly again. "Should have said something." Another kiss. "If you wish me not to go…" I left the words unfinished as I pulled her more firmly into my arms and let my lips move over hers.

Bella melted into me, meeting me movement for movement. When our lips parted, I just couldn't let her go. My mouth trailed down her jaw to her neck placing soft kisses as it went. My loves hands pulled at my hair sending the most delicious shockwaves through my neck and down my spine to the center of my desire for her.

Her head tilted back reveling her neck openly to me as I reached her pulse point. My tongue snaked out from between my cold lips and licked, spreading a trail of moisture up to her ear. "Much better than cow," I murmured.

My love's response was to moan and hold tighter to my hair. I felt the flush of her skin at my words and the increase in her heart rate. She liked it.

Any other human would have been scared to not only have a vampire this close to their neck, but to tell them how delicious they taste. Not Bella. Her reactions had never been normal, but what had possessed me to tell her how good she tasted now was beyond me, but I didn't want to stop.

Since I was already at her ear, I let my tongue slide once again outside of my mouth and traced a path around the crescent shape, feeling every ridge and dip. Bella gasped but didn't relinquish her hold on me. If anything she increased it. Her back arched into me as her chest pushed firmly into mine.

There was so much I wanted to do to her, but now was not the right time. One day soon, I would taste every inch of her. But for now, I retracted my tongue and replaced it with the tip of my nose while retracing the line back down her neck.

After placing solid kiss over the pulsing flesh, I raised my head and waiting until her eyes opened. "We should finish with the dishes before your father comes to check on us," I said with a smile.

She was still breathing deeply, trying to catch her breath and I silently marveled, loving my affect on her. Her eyes were dark, filled with passion, and I wanted to carry her up to her room and forget about dishes and Charlie. I knew that wasn't a good idea though. Eventually she sighed, and turned back to what she'd been doing before be got distracted.

I stayed with her until ten. It was the time Charlie viewed as acceptable and I'd always tried to visibly obey his wishes. For tonight, however, this really was goodbye.

After saying goodnight to Charlie, Bella walked me to my car. I leaned back against my door gently and pulled her into my arms. She stood between my legs and wrapped her arms around my neck before giving me a solid kiss. "I'll miss you tonight."

"I'll miss you as well, love," I said, gently massaging the muscles in her lower back. "I'll try to make it back before you wake."

"Hurry back," she whispered as her lips once again covered mine.

Charlie's thoughts entered my head as he looked out the window and witnessed our goodbye. His eyes were focused on my hands, willing them not to go lower, and I couldn't help but chuckle. Bella felt it and pulled back to look up into my face. "What?"

I felt my lips tug up into a smile. "You're father is watching us, or me to be more specific."

She shook her head slightly. "He's seen us kiss before, Edward."

I chuckled again because Charlie was still watching us and still focused on my hands moving up and down Bella's back. "It's not my kisses he's worried about." She raised both eyebrows in question this time. "He's watching my hands." I could see she was still confused so I leaned in to whisper in her ear. "Charlie is waiting to see if my hands remain on your back. Or if they go lower."

When I leaned up again, I saw comprehension dawn. The smile on her face was mirrored in my own. Her father was still very much convinced that we had consummated our relationship; he was just looking for proof. I wasn't sure what he would get out of that knowledge, but I'm not sure he did either. Maybe he would use it as a justification as to why we were getting married now.

Bending my head, and pulling her close, I brought our mouths together one last time. We moved slowly together, savoring the memory until we would be together tomorrow. "I love you," I whispered.

"I love you, too," she replied back.

Bella stepped back and watched me get into the car, but before I could close the door she said, "Try to relax. I'm sure tonight will be fine."

Was there nothing she missed?

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**End Chapter Notes:**

**Next chapter will be the last session with Jasper. **


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N:**

**Thank you to everyone whose still following this story. I know I've teased you and teased you, and I promise we are almost there. At the end of this chapter, we fifty-eight hours until the wedding. **

**A little house keeping. Somehow my other fic, Finding Bella has been nominated for a Razzle Dazzle Award under the category 'Best Romance'. The voting was set to begin today, Oct. 11th, but it has been pushed back due to some family issues. (dot)webs(dot)com. **

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Jasper was waiting for me when I arrived at the house. But as much as I wanted to leave for our trip immediately, I had something I had to take care of first.

The food I'd eaten tonight felt like lead sitting in my stomach and although it would not force me to address it for a long while, it was uncomfortable. I wanted to be rid of it as soon as possible, and before Jasper and I left.

He did not question me, nor did I think he would, when I asked him if we could leave in half an hour. It was more than enough time to do what I needed, but I also wanted to put some distance between my family and myself. Again, it was not necessary, but polite nonetheless.

I found a spot roughly five miles from our home. The animals had scattered as soon as they'd caught my scent.

Closing my eyes, I concentrated on my stomach muscles. One of the nice things about being a vampire was the control of even the most internal areas of ones body. I could feel the food and where it sat inside. With two pulsing movements I felt it begin to move back up. And with a few more, I could once again taste it; the food now completely pulverized and mixed with my venom. Leaning over, I let the steak, potatoes, and green beans Bella cooked expel itself from my mouth.

Once again feeling myself, I headed back toward the house. The outline had just come into view, when I saw Jasper running towards me. _Alice said you were ready to go._ Of course. Alice. I nodded, and we took off through the trees at a steady pace.

We were earlier than usual getting to what had become our spot in the woods. The moon was high in the sky and the opening in the trees brought the light streaming down to the forest floor. It painted a relaxing picture, however I was anything but. I knew what I wanted out of tonight. The thought of asking Jasper for it, however, was not as easy as I would have liked.

He picked up on my anxiety. _What is it?_

I ran a frustrated hand through my hair and tried to calm myself. This was the last thing he needed to deal with tonight.

When I didn't answer, he asked out loud. "Why are you nervous?"

Leaning back against the nearest tree, I took a deep breath, and faced my brother. "Logically, I know that asking you is no different than what we've been doing, but realistically, I know it is."

Jasper's curiosity was peaked by my statement. He was also very firm in his belief that there was nothing he wouldn't do to help me. "You may change your mind," I replied to his unspoken thoughts.

"I doubt it," he answered.

"Okay," I said, releasing a breath. "I am a little concerned that I have never…" I made sure I was looking him in the eye so he understood what I was about to say. "lost control."

He didn't move for a minute and then as soon as the realization of what I was saying registered, his face morphed into a mixer of disbelief and amusement. "Edward, you've never…"

Jasper left the sentence unfinished vocally, but internally he was trying to wrap his mind around it. Why was it so unbelievable that I'd never pleasured myself before? I was not unable to control myself; at least I hadn't been until I'd met Bella. She, of course, had changed everything.

"Wow," he finally said. "So I mean…if you want to know, why don't you just…"

I was very aware of how awkward this was. And not just for me, but Jasper as well. "No. I can't…I won't."

He cocked his head to the side, obviously not understanding. _Why not?_

"I am hers, Jasper. Everything I am is hers."

"So you won't…relieve some of this…" He waived his arm, clearly amused. "because you want your first time e_ver_ to be with her?"

"Something like that," I answered. Pushing off of the tree, I began pacing. "I know to you it might not make sense, but it is one more thing I can give to her. One more part of my humanness that I am able to bestow."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I guess that makes sense. In a totally Edward way, of course," he said smirking at me.

I let him have his laugh. The way I viewed things was often comical to my much more liberal brothers and sisters, but it was just who I was; time would not change that.

Finally he got control of his emotions and muttered, "Sorry."

It was moot point, however, and not relevant to this evening in the least. "As I was saying…" I continued, "I thought it might be beneficial for me to at least experience the feelings involved vicariously through you."

He immediately sobered. "You want me to…"

"I would prefer not having to experience a full length play by play, but an emotional experience of the event only. Do you think that is something you are able to do?"

In his mind, I could clearly see the doubts. _I don't know._

"Would you be willing to try?"

I knew he was wavering between his commitment to help me, and what I was asking. Eventually, his resolve firmed and I knew he would make the attempt. Although I wanted this, I would not have required it of him. He had already done more than enough to assist me with my goal.

"How do you want to start?" he asked.

Nodding, I took up a place in the center of the clearing, and lay flat on my back with my hands relaxed at my sides. "If you don't mind, I'd like to ease into it; start as normal and then when you feel ready…" Again, I left my sentence unfinished. He knew what I meant and did not need me to spell it out for him.

I waited for his assent and then closed my eyes to begin.

My bedroom was the backdrop I chose for tonight's musings. Bella lay on my bed facing me, her eyes watching. Her hair was spread out over the pillow behind her and I wanted to bury my face in it.

Walking to the side of the bed, her eyes continued to follow me, ever watchful. Carefully, I joined her on the bed. Somehow I knew I was not clothed, although Bella still wore her coverings; it was a tank top and a pair of shorts I'd seen her in many times. She lay unmoving, just watching me, waiting to see what I would do next.

My hand lifted to caress her face, and she leaned into my touch. Warmth. Bella.

There were so many things I wanted to do all at once, but I was determined to take my time. Bringing my face to the curve of her neck, I kissed my way down her collarbone to that intoxicating space between her breasts, and breathed deep.

I knew my memory was not doing justice to her, but it was enough to send my body tensing in reaction. Without holding back, one by one, I slid the straps of her top down her arms, pulling it until she was completely bare before me. Quick, shallow breaths made her chest rise and fall beneath my caress. Her nipples pebbled as I touched and kissing them.

The need to see all of her, to feel her completely against me as never before pushed me forward. My right hand went to the waistband of her shorts and pushed down. She lifted her hips to offer assistance, and soon the garment was gone. Bella lay before me as open and willing as she'd ever been and I could not suppress my desire.

My hands began roaming every curve it could reach, as my mouth captured her lips. The control I'd been trying so hard to maintain was slipping. Her skin under my hands was soft, giving. She moaned and moved beneath me.

There was something so basic to mating and yet it was a mix of so many complex emotions. I wanted her. I needed her. I loved her. My reason for being. My life.

I felt the pressure building and my touch becoming rougher, more urgent. Somewhere in my mind Jasper's presence registered, and I knew most of what I was now feeling was coming from him. Bella and I had never been in this position, and wouldn't until the time came. But he was doing as I'd requested and sending me feelings I had never had the want to experience before her.

There was one sole desire pulsing through me, and that was to be inside her. To feel her heat surrounding me was the only thing I wanted in that moment.

With as deep a breath as I could manage, I positioned myself between her legs. She opened herself up to me, and without any father thought I pressed forward.

Jasper seemed to be keeping up with the situation and I felt a wave of something new. It was a mixer of possessiveness and love and raw animalistic hunger. The intensity of it scared me, but I forced myself to press on. I needed this.

It had not escaped my notice that my hands were no longer lying flat on the dirt at my side. I'd long ago went past where I'd usually stop but I didn't think I could do this twice, and I wouldn't ask it of my brother.

I tried hard to focus on what I was doing, but it was impossible. Suddenly, I felt a surge of pressure. It was almost a burning, but it didn't hurt. A deep rumble began in my chest, and my upper lip pulled back reveling my teeth. My entire body was on fire, and I was thankful I didn't need breath because I wasn't capable of a solid one. I could feel everything and nothing at the same time. It was maddening.

And then the pressure in my groin increased even more. I felt like I was going to explode!

The rumble in my chest would no longer be silenced and came ripping out of me as my head fell back. I felt like I was climbing…something, and…

My eyes flew opened. "STOP!" I gasped as loud as was possible.

Every muscle in my body locked down against the force by sheer will. Turning over, I buried my face in the dirt. I'd almost. How could I…

The cool moisture of the soil seeped through my lungs as I tried to calm myself. I could no longer hear Jasper. He must have felt it best to flee, to allow me to get control of myself on my own, and I didn't blame him. It was for the best.

I stayed where I was for a long time, making sure I was once again in complete control of myself. Tilting my head to the side, I saw deep handprints in almost every area of the soil around me. Bella.

If I had been able to cry, I would have. Please don't let me hurt her.

Daylight was already filtering through the trees by the time I forced myself to move. My body still did not feel completely like my own as I began to make my way back.

Jasper had not returned, and I imagined, hoped, he was with Alice. I wanted to be with Bella, but my mind and body were not cooperating.

Several times along the way I stopped, trying to feel like myself once again, but no matter how hard I tried the fear I'd been suppressing over the last few weeks would not go away. What if that had been Bella?

Feeling the catch in my throat once again, I leaned over and forced several deep unneeded breaths to move through my lungs. It would be okay. We would be okay. The agreement was to try. We could always stop if…

Would I be able to stop?

Every muscle clenched in revolution to that possibility and another dry sob made its way through my lips.

It took me until mid-morning before I made it back to the house. I needed to get my car and go to Bella's, she was most likely beyond worry. There was movement inside, but I didn't want to deal with my family right now, I couldn't, so I cleaned up as best I could in the garage.

Once inside my car, I could smell her strong concentrated scent. The burn in my throat calmed me and steeled my resolve as I made my way down our long driveway and onto the road.

I'd been correct in assuming that Bella would be worried. I had not even turned the engine off before she was out the door. The worry was covering her face as I exited the Volvo, and the guilt over the anguish I'd caused her pushed everything else aside. "I'm sorry I'm late," I said, taking her into my arms.

"Why didn't you call me?" she asked, looking up into my face.

My lips came down to brush her forehead, and I felt the heat of her seep into me just a little more. "It was a long night, please forgive me. I only just got back," I said, trying to divert her question as to why I hadn't called.

Although I'd had my phone on me, I didn't think it would have been something I would have been able to do even an hour ago. My mind and body were still going over the still very real possibility of hurting her that I'd experienced tonight. I needed a distraction for both of us.

Brining my hands up to tangle in her hair, I brought my mouth down to cover hers. Bella's lips parted slightly as they moved under mine sending her scent seeping through my lips. My muscles flexed in response, but it was so different than what I'd experienced last night. She was here. Mine. Please don't let me hurt her.

Charlie had decided to stay home today, so his presence in the house was somewhat unavoidable. I'd suggested going to my house, but Bella didn't want to leave her dad alone. Renee and Phil were due tomorrow and she thought maybe he was feeling a little nervous.

Her perception, as always, was correct. Charlie had yet to meet Renee's new husband, but knew that he was very different from himself. They were staying in Port Angeles, but would be spending plenty of time here, in his home. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.

So for the most part, we spent the day in the living room with Bella's father watching a rerun of the week in sports. For her part, Bella seemed to be beyond any pretense with her father about our relationship. She sat flush against me the entire afternoon, causing me a little concern due to my low body temperature.

At four-thirty, Bella got up to make dinner, and I followed her. I watched as she pulled several items out of the refrigerator, chopped them up, and put them in a large pot. When everything was inside, she put the lid on and then came to sit on my lap.

My love's arms wrapped around me, and she brought our foreheads together. "Are you going to tell me what's bothering you, Mr. Cullen?"

Why was it that I didn't seem to be able to hide anything from her anymore? Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath savoring her fragrance. "Nothing is bothering me," I insisted.

She looked at me with complete disbelief. "Did something happen with Jasper?" she asked in a much quieter voice.

My hands were resting on her hips, and I held her slightly tighter at the mention of Jasper's name. "It was just a long night, longer than I'd anticipated."

Bella cocked her head to the side. "Vampire's don't get tired," she stated matter a factly.

This made me smile. "Not tired in the sense you are thinking, no, but I do feel."

She frowned. "I didn't mean…"

"I know. I'm sorry." I hurried to sooth her. "As I said, it was just a long night. I'm fine, love, no need to be concerned." And then trying to divert her attention farther, "How was your night? Did you sleep well?"

Bella shrugged. "It was just a night of sleep, nothing exciting."

I sighed. Her nights of slumber were numbered, and yet she talked of them so flippantly, dismissing them as if they didn't matter. Pointing it out would be useless though. We'd already had this discussion more than once.

"So you were with Jasper the whole night?" she asked.

"Most of it, yes," I asked a little confused by her question. "Why?"

She shook her head sending waves of her scent to me. "No reason really, it was just…well…"

"Tell me, love," I whispered.

Her teeth came out to tease the skin of her lip. Not resisting the impulse, I leaned in and covered her mouth with my own. She sighed and melted into me. "Tell me," I whispered again.

Bella's eyes fluttered open, "I just had a dream. Of you. It was so real. I just thought…you were here."

I brushed the hair away from her neck and ran my nose along the sensitive flesh there. "I'm sorry I was not, but I will be with you tonight," I said with a kiss. "And the next night," I answered, kissing her yet again.

She hummed and brought her hands up to grip my hair. My lips grazed her neck and took in the sweetness that was my Bella. We would get through this. After everything, we had to.

Tonight, I stayed in the living room while Charlie and Bella ate. It was a hard decision given Bella's father was obviously anticipating me joining them after our previous evening. I was debating my choices but Bella made it for me when she gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me she'd come get me when they were done.

I stayed until Bella was finished cleaning up. She walked me out to my car, and I promised her I would be waiting for her up in her room, so our goodbye was brief.

It took me only fifteen minutes to drive my car back to my home and run back.

Scaling the side of her house, and jumping into her window, I wasn't surprised to find her already waiting for me. What I was surprised to find, was Bella lying on her side in the middle of her bed. Her head rested on her arm as her hair cascaded over her neck and shoulders. She had one leg bent causing her shorts to ride up her legs. Swallowing, I walked towards her.

Bella didn't move as I came closer; she just watched me. It was so much like what I'd imagined last night that I felt my muscles tighten, and come alive. I took a deep breath to try and calm myself.

My efforts were short lived, however with Bella's words. "Take your shirt off." Her voice was soft, but firm. She knew what she wanted.

I hesitated for only a few seconds, before doing as she asked. Then, removing my shoes, I joined her on the bed.

The hand not supporting her head came up to rest on my bare chest. Her eyes flitted up to mine through lowered lids. "Promise you'll stay in bed with me tonight?"

It wasn't a hard choice, and I answer easily. "Of course," I said as I pulled the blanket to cover her.

She sighed, the frustration evident. But as soon as the blanket was wrapped around her, she was in my arms. Her lips brushed gently against my neck and collarbone causing both shivers and heat simultaneously. It was harder than I'd ever imagined not playing out last night's fantasy right here in her bed; her scent and her heat surrounding me as her lips showed me her love and devotion.

Closing my eyes, I tried to push everything aside except what was happening in this moment. My hand moved up and down her cloth covered back, and even with the barrier I could feel every muscle, every molecule of flesh. It was so easy to get lost in my feelings for her, the feelings she evoked in me.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked as her hands began to slide lower.

"Yes," I answered, a little shorter of breath than I would have liked.

She smiled against my skin as her hand continued to roam. I was just about to say something, when it slid around my waist to my back. Breathing a sigh of relief, I placed a soft kiss on top of her head. "Good," she whispered.

Bella's lips and tongue were moving freely on my chest. I felt the heat and the moisture, but most of all I felt her, the love in each and every movement. Her hand ran a figure eight pattern on my lower back burning a new memory into my perfect recall.

I could have lay there all night enjoying these simple yet meaningful touches from my love, but she had other plans. Her hand had made twenty-seven passes on my back when I felt her deviate from her pattern. There was very little doubt in my mind as to what she was going to do.

My body prepared itself as best it could, as Bella's hand began to go lower. Her fingers skimmed over the waistband of my jeans as she stopped for a moment to toy with the loop directly in the center. She was giving me time to prepare, and my love for her soared.

When she began moving once again, it was with direct purpose. Soft fingers moved to trace the curve of my butt. The feeling was amazing.

After she was sure I wasn't going to push her away, she used her new leverage to pull the lower half of her body flush with mine. I knew she could feel me pressing against her. Sliding my hand up her back and into her hair, my fingers sought out her scalp and began massaging it with my fingers the way I knew she liked.

We lay there together, gently touching and talking for hours until she fell asleep. She seemed to know that I needed a respite from our intense practicing.

I kept my promise and stayed in bed with her all night, but as the day dawned I knew without a doubt that our quiet week was over. Today we would meet with the minister, welcome Renee, and be separated for several long hours as the women in my family spent some 'girl time' with Bella. But for now, in the blissful silence of her room, it was only the two of us.

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**End Chapter Notes:**

**Okay it's time for you to participate. The next chapter will cover the visit from the Pastor Webber. What do you think he should ask Edward and Bella? I've already got some questions tucked away in my head, but if you come up with something good I might just include it. :) **

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	38. Chapter 38

**A/N:**

**I know this is a little later than normal, but as you'll see this is the biggest chapter yet. I had a lot I wanted to cover in this one. **

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Bella began to stir around nine o'clock. Her arms stretched above her head and she yawned before she turned to find me. My love smiled a sleepy smile and I returned it with her favorite crooked grin.

"Is Charlie here?" she asked.

"He decided to check in at work this morning. You have a note on the kitchen table. He'll be back for lunch," I told her.

She still hadn't moved much from her original morning position. Her eyes roamed my face looking for something. I watched and waited, trying to read her thoughts from what I could see in her face.

My guessing had become more accurate over our time together, although it was not perfect. This time, however, I read concern and worry, and I was correct. Of course, she was not the focus of her current anxiety; she never was. Her unease, was for me, which she put voice to asking, "How are you this morning?"

We weren't touching and I made to rectify that. Using my fingers to glide along her hairline starting at her temple and moving down behind her ear to the base of her neck. I could try to lie to her, I probably should, but Carlisle's voice was still nagging me to be honest with her. "I'm better." And then trying to redirect her attention, I asked, "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes," she said and then sighed. "Why were you so upset last night?"

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath filling my lungs with her unique flavor. I felt the mattress shift and her scent intensify as she moved closer. Without opening my eyes, I felt her hot breath caressing my face as she hovered above me. Her close proximity comforted me, and amazingly I felt the tension begin to ease.

When I opened my eyes once again, it was to find ones filled with concern staring back at me. "I'm fine, love. It was just…" I paused. "My time with Jasper didn't go as planned and I…"

"Whatever happened, we'll be fine, Edward."

I closed my lids once again not able to look at her when I said my next words. "You don't know that. I could kill you in a second."

"Shh," she said, placing a soft finger against my hard lips. "You are not backing out on me."

I didn't answer her. There was no point. Bella was determined. But I couldn't help the newly reaffirmed doubts that had been creeping into my being anew. The feelings I'd experienced two nights ago in the clearing were still vivid in my mind. I'd lost all sense of myself in the feelings Jasper had been sending to me. Never before had I let myself feel like that. Whenever I'd begin to sense those emotions from my family members, I'd leave; go for a run or a drive, anything but stay in the house with them.

Now, here I was lying on a bed with the woman whom I was willing going to try and experience those things with in just three short days. And the horrible part was, I wanted it. I wanted to feel all those things with her, to lose myself in the feelings I'd been experiencing with my brother's help.

But I couldn't push the fear completely away. I could not lose her. No matter what did or did not happen, I could not lose her.

The feeling of Bella's fingers running down the side of my face brought me back to reality and the woman in front of me. I opened my eyes to find her expression had not eased in the slightest. She was clearly worried about me, and I still had not responded to her very adamant 'you are not backing out on me' statement. Bringing my arms up to wrap around her, I pulled her closer and placed a chaste kiss on her pouty lips.

Her eyes were still watching me when I once again put distance between our mouths. I slid my right hand up her back to play with the ends of her hair. "I'm not 'backing out', love. I promised we would try, and we will."

"Then what's wrong? What happened with Jasper?"

I sighed and closed my eyes briefly before answering her. "I just…I lost control of my strength."

She watched me for a minute and then leaned her head to rest on my shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said. Why in the world would she be sorry? And then as if to answer my question, she added, "I wish this was easier for you, but it will be worth it, Edward, you'll see."

I didn't want to argue with her, not on our last morning of semi normalcy. So instead of answering I tightened my hold on her, and just lay there enjoying the feeling of having her in my arms.

It was Bella's stomach that eventually made us move from our position over an hour later. We hadn't talked much in that time, but instead were just content to be together.

When she went down to get something to eat, I ran home to get my car. It would not look good for Charlie to come home at lunch and find me here with no vehicle. He was just beginning to warm up to the idea of me becoming his son-in-law; I didn't need to add any further obstacles.

My trip home included a quick change of clothes, and then I headed back to Bella's. When I arrived, she was just putting her cereal bowl in the sink. She turned to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead as I held her close.

We stood there for several minutes just holding each other. This feeling never changed. Even after the shortest times away from one another, it seemed like forever. It was like we had to reassure ourselves, make that reconnection to the part that had been missing in those moments or hours when distance had come between us.

I knew there would be times, even after she was like me, that we'd be apart. There was a hope that maybe the separation wouldn't be as bad since then I would have the knowledge of her safety, but even now I knew that was only wishful thinking. She was my mate, and I would never be whole without her by my side.

It was almost eleven by the time we made our way into Bella's living room to watch television. Charlie would be home soon, and after that our day would go quickly. Angela's father was due to arrive at two, and then we would need to head to Port Angeles in order to pick up Renee and Phil from the airport. I was hoping to have enough time between meeting with the minister and picking up my love's mother and step-father to take her out to dinner, but that would all depend on timing. As I'd never been through something like this before, I had no idea what to expect.

Charlie showed up right on time just before noon and Bella fixed him a sandwich. He brought his food into the living room and sat with us while he ate. I had to give him credit he really was trying.

Bella's father watched us as we sat beside one another on the couch. Our fingers were laced together, and she was leaning her head on my shoulder. I knew by the way she had herself angled against me that she would have preferred to be sitting in my lap, but Bella wouldn't push things that far. Whether that was due to my feelings on openly showing affection in front of her father or because of the man in question himself I had no idea. Either way, she remained where she was plastered to my side.

Eventually, he asked what our plans were for the day and Bella told him about meeting with Reverend Webber. Charlie seemed to like that idea a lot. Although he voiced his approval out loud, his internal musings were much more enthusiastic. He didn't want Bella to make the same mistake he had. It wasn't that he regretted marrying Renee, but more that he wanted to spare his daughter the emptiness his divorced had caused him.

Bella's father was not overly optimistic that the minister could deter us from our decision, more that he was hoping he'd at least have us considering all our options. He just didn't want to see his little girl get hurt.

I knew I needed to have a talk with Bella's father. It wasn't something I was looking forward to, and I'd honestly hoped after her discussion with him the other night that it might not have been necessary. I had been mistaken, however. Charlie needed reassurances. He needed to know that I would take care of her. Forever.

After Charlie finished his lunch, he remained in the living room while I followed Bella into the kitchen. She protested when I insisted that she allow me to help her clean up, but I kept firm. We worked together to make sure everything was in its place and ready for our guest to arrive.

By the time Reverend Webber knocked on the door all was ready. We had decided that since her father was home, it would be best to talk out on the back porch.

Bella and I settled ourselves beside one another on two lounge chairs, while Reverend Webber took the empty seat directly across from us. His mind was fairly calm as he situated himself and the few papers he'd brought with him.

I had always liked Angela due to her genuine kindness. She didn't put on a face for the world to see while harboring ill thoughts of her neighbors. Her father was no different. His mind held curiosity and a little concern, but there was no condemnation or judgment lurking.

When he seemed to be just about ready to start, I reached my hand out to Bella's. Her fingers weaved there way through mine. I gave a reassuring squeeze and turned my attention to Reverend Webber.

"So Edward. Bella. Are you ready to get started?"

I nodded, and Bella answered with a small, "Sure."

"Great," he said. "This will be mainly pain free I assure you, but I like to get to know the couples I'm to marry."

He shifted in his seat, before sitting back. "Edward," he said, looking directly at me. "I know your father fairly well. He's a good man and an excellent doctor. I can't say that I know very much about you. So why don't we start there. Tell me a little about yourself."

I saw Bella shift uncomfortably out of the corner of my eye. This was the part she'd been dreading, the lying. I couldn't say I liked it anymore than she did, but it was something I was used to.

"I'm adopted. After my parents died, I came to live with Carlisle and Esme. I was young when they took me in, so they are really the only parents I've ever known. We moved to Forks from Alaska four years ago," I paused allowing him to gather his thoughts and lead any farther discussion of the information I'd given him.

Instead he surprised me and asked a completely different question. "How about your hobbies? What do you like to do for fun?"

Before I could answer Bella spoke up and said, "He plays the piano."

"Really?" he said, his surprise genuine. Not many people in Forks knew I played. It just wasn't a subject that came up in normal teenage conversation. "And what type of music do you like to play?"

What amazed me was that so much like Angela, her father's question was exactly what it seemed. "I play classical mostly, but what I play usually depends on my mood."

Bella's hand squeezed mine. When I glanced over at her, I could tell she was more relaxed than she'd been when the questioning had started. My playing the piano wasn't something that had to be hidden from the human world, it was not something about which we needed to lie.

Reverend Webber was a little surprised at my answer, but also impressed. "No wonder that isn't common knowledge," he laughed. "I can't imagine classical music is discussed much in a high school cafeteria.

We both laughed right along with him. "No, not exactly."

As his mirth subsided, he turned to Bella. "Angela tells me you like to read. Anything in particular?"

Bella took her bottom lip into her mouth for just a second before answering with a smile on her face. "I also like the classics. My favorite is Withering Heights."

"Hm," he said. In his mind he was thinking we both appeared to be old souls.

But instead of continuing on with that line of questioning, he veered off onto a new path without any notice. "Tell me how the two of you met? I mean I know it was at Forks High, but how exactly?"

I looked over at Bella and she looked up at me. Our eyes locked in knowledge and remembrance of that fateful day.

Several minutes past before I answered, not taking my eyes from hers. "We met in biology on her first day. The seat beside me was the only open one." And then lowering my voice I continued, "As soon as she crossed my path, I knew I would not be able to resist her." Bella blushed.

We sat in a world of memories all our own for several minutes before the minister's voice brought us back. "And was it the same for you, Bella?"

She looked over at him briefly before turning back to me. "I knew there was something about him, something that made me want to know him."

Again there was a long stretch of silence before he said, "Usually I like to ask a couple regarding their feelings for one another, but I somehow don't think that's necessary."

Bella blushed again before ducking her head. I chuckled and squeezed her hand. Reverend Webber was viewing our love first hand. We were careful around Charlie because of his feelings. This man needed to see our love and devotion so we freely shared it.

Clearing his throat, Reverend Webber got our attention once again and said, "I'm sure what I'm going to say next will not come as a shock to either of you." He was correct. In his thoughts I heard the question before he asked it. "You both are very young. Is there a reason why you are choosing now to get married?"

Of course we could not share the real reason, which involved Bella's obsession with getting older. Instead, I told him the same thing I'd told Charlie when we'd announced our impending marriage. "We are both going away to Dartmouth this fall, and we would like to do that the right way."

I was hoping that would be the end of it, but by his thoughts I could tell he was not going to let it go so easily. "So there's nothing other than college that is causing you to marry now rather than in a few years?"

Bella moaned, which caused both of us to switch our attention to her. I, of course, knew the cause of her reaction. It was one I'd felt every time I'd hear the thoughts or whispers around us whenever we were seen out in Forks together. Only years of masking my thoughts and emotions kept me from outwardly expressing my frustration again and again. My love didn't have all those years of experience in hiding behind a mask, and right at this moment her frustration showed plain on her face.

"I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, Bella," Reverend Webber said, and I could tell he was sincere. "but I do have to ask."

She let out a heavy sigh. "No. I'm not pregnant."

"Bella, I didn't mean…"

"It's fine. It's not like everyone in town isn't thinking it anyway," she stated with a bit of heat.

I hated seeing her upset. Pulling her into my arms, I kissed the top of her hair before tucking her head into the crock of my shoulder.

Now it was Reverend Webber who sighed. "I do apologize. To both of you. I know some of this subject matter is sensitive, but as your minister there are certain things I feel I must ask any couple who is planning to marry. Especially one as young as yourselves."

"It's okay," Bella whispered, and my arms held her just a little tighter. "I didn't mean to snap at you. I know you're just doing your job."

He cleared his throat. "Yes, well… Along those lines, I'm afraid I have one more question to ask that you may not want to talk about."

Immediately I knew what he was going to say and cringed. But before he could voice his question, Bella spoke up. "No," she said. "We've not had sex. We're waiting until after the wedding. Yes, we've talked about it. And yes, we know what we both expect from one another," she paused. "Anything else you wanted to know?" Both of us looked at her in shock. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought she was the mind reader.

Her words had not been said with venom or anger, but more frustrated resolve. She wanted to get it out of the way so that we could move on instead of dancing around the issue. And once I got over my initial reaction, I couldn't help but chuckle. Oh how I loved her.

It took Reverend Webber a few more minutes to get his thoughts back together after Bella's very blunt announcement, but eventually he did. "It's very mature of you both to have discussed your future marital relations, and I apologize if this comes out wrong but from what I know of both your families you are not overly religious. Not that I'm complaining, not in the least, I think it is wonderful that you've both decided to wait, but may I ask why?"

I jumped in this time before she had a chance to answer. "I am rather old fashioned I'm afraid. I wanted Bella as my wife before we crossed those lines."

Again, I was not lying. Every word of it was the truth although had I not been a vampire, I'm not sure we would have been waiting for a wedding. Bella was just too tempting.

Reverend Webber seemed to consider this. His mind was trying to wrap itself around what he saw as our obvious sincerity and balance that with what he knew of teenagers.

While he was lost in thought, I turned my attention to the woman wrapped in my arms. Leaning in, I placed a kiss just below her ear and ask, "Are you alright, love?"

She nodded before looking up at me and smiling. Returning her smile, I placed one last kiss on her nose before turning back to the minister.

He seemed to be in a better place now that he was fairly certain we were being honest with him. Turning back to his notes, he asked, "How about future goals? I know you both said you'll be going to college this fall, what about children?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bella's brow crinkle slightly. She knew we would have to lie here. "We've talked about children, but have no immediate plans." It was a vague answer, but it seemed to satisfy him.

"How about roles in the marriage? Who will be responsible for taking care of bills, shopping for groceries, cleaning the house, etc.?"

Neither one of us answered right away, I was trying not to lie any more than I must, to stay close to the truth. Then I heard Bella's voice at my side saying, "I'm used to taking care of the house, but Edward helps me sometimes. We've shopped for groceries together before, so I doubt that will change. As for taking care of the bills, I have no problem with Edward taking care of that stuff."

"Do you both have a financial plan for once you leave home?"

It was my turn to speak. "I have a fairly stable financial portfolio for my age."

Reverend Webber waited to see if I'd say more, but I didn't. He was curious, as was everyone else in the town of Forks in regards to the Cullen money. Everyone knew we were wealthy given our home and the vehicles we drive, but other than that we did not flaunt our wealth.

I didn't elaborate though, so eventually he moved on. He asked questions on the ceremony, and gave us a few options on vows. Bella and I only had one request. We wanted the words 'until death do you part' to be changed to 'as long as you both shall live'.

It was a little after four by the time Reverend Webber left promising to see us tomorrow night at the rehearsal. We were due to pick Renee and Phil up at six thirty, so if we were to stop for dinner we needed to leave soon. Luckily, Bella seemed more than willing to get out of the house. And after saying a brief goodbye to Charlie, we were out the door in less than twenty minutes.

She was quiet until we made it out of town. Then she turned to me and said, "I didn't think it was going to be that bad."

I glanced over at her and smiled. Her face was flush with her embarrassment. "It was fine. Not as bad as I was expecting actually."

"You were thinking it was going to be worse?!" she said clearly outraged.

I couldn't help but chuckle. "It wasn't that bad, Bella. He could have asked a lot more questions where we would have to lie. As it was, we really only had to color the truth a bit."

"I suppose," Bella huffed. She was so cute when she was agitated.

We rode in silence for a while. Time was a factor, as I wanted her to have plenty of time to eat so I didn't bother to moderate my speed.

About ten minutes outside of Port Angeles, Bella asked, "How did you lose control last night?"

If I had any color in my face, it would have left me. This day was not turning out how I'd planned and it was nowhere near over.

When I didn't answer right away Bella tried another angle and asked, "What were you thinking about? I mean you said you lost control, and you said you think about us when you're practicing with Jasper so…"

"Bella, I don't think…" My hand came up to pinch the bridge of my nose. Why was this so hard for me?

Then I felt her hand reach up and removed my fingers from my face. "Please tell me," she pleaded. "I want to help, and I can't if I don't know what's going on."

She still held my hand in hers as I glanced over at her. I saw nothing but complete openness in her eyes. Bella really wanted to know. And I knew that I should tell her. It was just that I was embarrassed. Not only because of my loss of control, but also with what had almost happened and what I'd been thinking about when it did.

"Please," she begged me again.

I sighed and wrapped my fingers around hers for support. She was my lifeline, my anchor. "I wanted to know what it would feel like to be with you," I said and then paused waiting for her to understand my meaning.

And as the silence filled the air, finally she did. "Oh," she breathed.

She said nothing else as we drove into Port Angeles and I found a place to park. It took her until we were right outside of the restaurant to recognize where we were. When she did, Bella looked up at me and smiled before tugging on my arm and pulling me inside the restaurant where we had our first unofficial date.

Very few things had changed since the first time I was here with Bella. The hostess was different and some of the servers were new, but the décor was exactly the same.

Just as I had the last time we'd been here, I asked for something private. We were led to the back corner booths just as before, and I had to smile as we were sat in the same seats. The hostess handed us our menus and left. Bella set down hers not even looking at it and slid over to sit by my side.

The last time we were here, we were only beginning to discover one another. I'd been scared of her reaction to my cold touch, and she in turn had been determined to touch me. Here had been the first time she'd knowing come face to face with a vampire.

Her hand linked with mine on top of the table as our waitress came to take our drink order, but Bella told her she was ready. I wasn't surprised when she once again ordered the mushroom ravioli. As soon as she said it, we both broke out into huge smiles drawing attention from the third party.

Then realizing we were not going to share our inside joke, she excused herself to put Bella's order in. Minutes later, she came back to set our drinks on the table and then quickly left once again.

Bella took a long drink of her coke and then turned to me. "So you were thinking about us having sex and you lost control?"

My eyes closed in both desperation and resignation. She was not going to drop this. And I knew Bella. She would wait for as long as it took for me to answer her.

So opening my eyes again, I looked at her. "Yes." It was a simple, direct answer, but clearly not the complete one she was wanting. "I don't know what you want me to say, love. You know what Jasper can do."

Biting her lower lip, she watched me as if considering her next words. "So you're worried that you lost control with Jasper?"

"Yes," I sighed.

"Don't be."

"How can you say that?" I asked mildly affronted. It was not unusual for Bella to put everyone else's welfare above her own, but she knew what it would do to me should something happen to her.

"Easy," she said taking another sip of her coke. "I know you, and I know how you are with me." Then she took my face in her hands, "You would never hurt me, Edward. Even at the beginning when it was hard for you to be in the same room with me you managed. You more than managed. I never thought this would be possible for us, but now I know it is. I know we can do this."

I wanted to believe her. In order to do this, I needed to believe her. My hands came up to take her wrists in mine pulling them down from my face. "Okay," I whispered as the waitress brought Bella's food. My love looked skeptically at me as she began to eat her food.

After a few bites, "Okay? You're going to stop worrying and just let things happen?"

I gave a short, sarcastic laugh. "No. Not exactly." Her face turned down into a frown. With my right hand, I brought my thumb up to smooth the creases from her brow. "I can not promise not to worry, Bella. But I will try and just let things happen. As I told you before, I promised we would try and I meant it."

She seemed to consider my response, weighing it in her mind. Eventually, her face relaxed and she went back to eating.

It was six by the time we left the restaurant and headed back to my car. As I maneuvered us back onto the road, Bella asked, "So are you ready for Renee?"

I smiled, "I can handle your mother, Bella. I've met her before remember."

"Yes," she said. "But now you are days away from becoming family. Nothing is off limits now so be prepared."

Laughing I headed out of town toward the airport.

Renee and Phil's plane was a little late, but it was still before seven when we saw them come through the security gates. As soon as Renee laid eyes on her daughter, her face lit up and she ran to close the distance. Bella released her hold on me to hug her mom.

"Oh Bella, baby," she said as she hugged her daughter swaying from side to side. Then pulling back enough to see her, she brought her hands up to cup Bella's face pushing her hair back. "I can't believe my baby's getting married!"

Bella flushed. "Hi, mom." Renee was totally oblivious to Bella's embarrassment. The blush covering Bella's cheeks didn't even register in her mind.

Wanting to direct some of the unwanted attention, I took the opportunity to step forward. "It's good to see you again Renee. Phil," I said nodding to the man who was standing off to the side and behind his wife smiling.

"Edward!" Renee squealed moments before moving to embrace me.

I saw her coming and shifted my weight so it would appear I had a little give to my body. I didn't want her to hurt herself. In passing, she registered my cold and then dismissed it.

Bella watched us until Phil came over and gave her a hug of his own. "How have you been, Bella?" he asked.

"Good," she answered as she removed herself from his embrace.

He was glad to see her, but not really for himself, more for Renee. His wife had missed her daughter in their time apart, and I began to feel that guilt creep inside at the knowledge that after this weekend the two would never meet like this again. Bella may one day be able to see Renee, but her mother would never again be able to see her.

As if sensing my thoughts, Bella chose that moment to look up at me. Our eyes met and I could see everything she couldn't say. 'Yes I will miss them, but I want you more.' She'd said it time and time again. Every time I questioned if she really understood what she was saying, and seeing her here now with her mother I couldn't help but question it again.

We continued this silent communication with our eyes until a gasp from Renee drew our attention back to her. She'd watched our wordless exchange, and although she hadn't grasped the meaning behind it, she saw the love there between us. Renee was a romantic. I'd known it the first time I'd met her, but now with the wedding only two days away she was letting her imagination get the best of her.

Phil cleared his throat and mentioned their bags. Immediately Renee brought herself back to the present and hooked her arm inside Bella's. Without another word to Phil or myself, Renee began pulling my love toward the baggage claim telling her every detail of their flight, leaving her husband and me to trail in their wake.

As we picked up the bags and made our way to the car Renee managed to keep her inquiries on safe topics such as how life was in Forks, my family, and Charlie. She was asking Bella about the diner as I put their luggage into the trunk of the Volvo.

After a slight debate over seating arrangements, Bella slid into the back seat beside her mother while Phil sat up front with me. It was a short drive to the hotel to drop off their bags, and Renee continued to keep the topics of conversation mundane.

All that changed as soon as we left the parking lot and began the drive toward Forks. The shift was sudden, and although I'd expected it, it still took a second to grasp the complete redirection of thought. Renee turned to Bella abruptly and started asking her if she was 'prepared' for the honeymoon. Her voice took on a whisper quality, although the volume had not decreased in the slightest.

It was very obvious by Renee's intonation what she was really asking with her question, but my love played dumb and responded with a reference to Alice already having everything packed and ready to go.

"Oh that Alice!" Renee said excitedly, reminding me at that moment of the sister of whom she spoke, "She's wonderful, Bella. I know I haven't met her yet, but the things she's told me," she squealed. Renee seemed to be lost in her own mind for a minute and then she asked, "So where's the honeymoon?"

Her question was directed at Bella, but my love remained silent. I'm sure she was hoping that maybe I'd give in and let our destination slip with her mother present, but that wasn't going to happen.

Finally I heard Bella release a hard breath filled with frustration. Through her mother's mind I could see her lean back hard against the seat glaring at me. "I don't know," she said flatly.

Renee looked from her daughter to me. "It's a surprise," I answered with a crooked smile.

"Ooooo!" Renee continued in obvious excitement. It was the complete opposite reaction Bella would have. She was much more like Charlie than Renee in personality. "That's just so romantic. Don't you think that's romantic, Phil?"

"Depends on the destination, I suppose," he said, turning back to wink at his wife.

She giggled like a teenager and turned her attention back to Bella. "So, if Alice is doing all the packing that means you've had some time on your hands. Did you make the appointment with that doctor I sent you?"

"Mom…" Bella moaned.

It took everything I had not to burst out laughing. Renee had sent her all the information for an OB/GYN in Port Angeles that was supposed to be very good. The doctor was also female, and for Renee that was a plus. I had no idea what Bella had told her mother in response to her generous outpouring of information, but I knew that above all else my love was embarrassed. Even two feet behind me I could feel the heat of her blush and smell the warming of her scent filling the car.

"Don't 'mom' me Isabella Marie. You're both still so young, and you've got college ahead of you for the next few years. The last thing you need right now is a baby in the mix."

"Edward's dad is a doctor, mom. I just talked to him."

"But Bella, he's a man. Men just don't understand these things the same way women do." She paused for a minute and then sighed. "I doubt if I called tomorrow morning she'd be able to see you on such short notice. Oh well."

Then as if she'd not said her previous statement, she rounded on her daughter again. "So what did you decide?"

Bella's eyes were wide from what I could see, and I wasn't doing much better. My love knew her mother well, and did not need my mind reading to understand what Renee was asking. Her eyes flashed up briefly to Phil sitting in the seat beside me. Renee caught her eye movement. "Don't worry about Phil, honey," she said waiving her hand dismissively. "Trust me, he's not a prude after all."

"Mom, please," Bella begged. "Can we NOT do this now?"

"Fine," she said, with a huff of her own. "But don't think I'm going to let this go. This is very important stuff you know."

And then if her previous line of questioning hadn't been enough, she turned her attention to me. "So Edward…Are you ready for the honeymoon?"

Renee was anything but subtle, and I knew Bella was probably bright pink right now. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Phil smiling. He knew his wife, and he excepted her and her very blunt ways. I, on the other hand, was not used to such direct questions regarding my sex life from anyone other than Emmett.

I could tell my brother to mind his own business. Answering Bella's mother was a slightly more delicate matter. "I am looking forward to it, Renee."

There was no use in trying too hard to come up with something neutral. Renee had a one-track mind that reminded me in many ways of Bella's. Once she was focused on something, there was no chance of deterring her.

Luckily, I was spared from farther inquiry as we arrived at my house. Alice had arrange for an evening of 'girl time' as she called it, and Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, Phil, Charlie, and me were going to the diner for dinner.

I quickly turned off the car and made my way to Bella's door. As soon as it was open, she hurried out and wrapped her arms around my waist. "I'm sorry," she whispered for only my ears.

Hugging her tightly, I kissed the top of her head letting myself linger in her scent. "Don't apologize love. I can handle your mother."

"I know," she said, her words muffled against my chest. "I'm still sorry though."

I wanted to say more, but Alice chose that moment to come bouncing out of the house. "Renee! Phil! It's so good to finally meet you. I'm Alice."

My sister didn't really give Renee much time to adjust to her over exuberant personality before ushering them inside our home to introduce them to the rest of the family. I realized then, as I released Bella from my embrace, that there were extra guests in the house. Human guests.

Leaning down, I whispered in Bella's ear. "Angela and Jessica are inside."

She looked up at me and whispered back, "Why?"

My family's thoughts were all still very guarded, but the human's in the room were not hiding anything. What I could see through their minds made me stiffen, and Bella noticed.

"What?" she hissed.

"They've planned a bachelorette party of sorts for you."

"Ugh," Bella grumbled. "Can't I go with you instead," she asked clinging tighter to my arm.

"Alice would just drag you back, love."

She sighed, resigned. "How bad is it?" I cringed. Angela's mind was concentrating on greeting Bella's mother at the moment, but through Jessica's I could see some very suggestive decorations filling our dinning room and kitchen.

Bella felt my reactions and blushed. "They're going to embarrass me aren't they?"

I pulled her close again. "Two more nights, Bella," I said, looking down at her with as much love as I had within me. Her breath hitched, and she swallowed. "Two more nights," I repeated, bringing our lips together. "Then you are all mine." My mouth brushed soft kisses up to her ear. "Let them have their fun, and I will make it up to you tonight."

She gasped, gripping my shoulders tighter, as my tongue darted out to taste the skin right behind her ear. "Promise?"

I smiled, but before I could answer her Alice appeared. "Break it up you two. There'll be time for that later," she winked at both of us. "But right now, we have a party to get started."

"Do I really have to, Alice?" Bella wined.

"Yes," Alice said in her firm no nonsense voice. "You do."

Alice tugged Bella from my arms and toward the house. _Bye, Edward. You and the boys have fun._

As if on que, the men of my family, plus Phil filed out of the house. Emmett had a knowing grin on his face that worried me, while Jasper and Carlisle looked more sympathetic. It was decided that Carlisle would drive everyone else to the dinner while I went and picked up Charlie.

When I pulled up in front of Bella's house, he was waiting for me. Apparently Alice had called to let him know I was on my way.

He got into the car without comment, those same resigned thoughts filling his mind. I knew this was the opportunity I'd been waiting for, so I cleared my throat to get his attention. "Charlie, I know you still have some concerns about Bella and I getting married."

Bella's father did not respond verbally, but I had his attention. "I just want you to know that what happened before, my leaving her, will never happen again. When we left, I thought it would be better for her if there wasn't contact. She's young," I said, and then added, "We both are. And I thought that a clean break would be easier. That she would heal and move on without me."

Charlie was listening to me intently. An image of Bella from our time apart flashed through his mind, and it took everything in me not to physically react to it. "It didn't work though," I said, almost whispering, letting him hear the emotion in my voice. He needed to know my sincerity. "For either of us."

I let that sink in for a minute before continuing. "I almost died without her, Charlie." He didn't realize that this was not an exaggeration or figure of speech. "Before I met her, I never would have thought these feelings were possible, that my life could be linked to someone as mine is to hers."

We pulled into the diner then, and before I turned off the Volvo I caught his gaze and held it. "I will take care of her for the rest of her life. I will love her with everything I am. I promise you."

Charlie looked at me like he'd never seen me before, and truly he hadn't. Not like this. I had never bared my feelings in this manner for anyone but Bella. He needed to know, however, just how deep my love and devotion to his daughter ran.

After several minutes, he nodded his assent. No words were spoken, but in his mind something had clicked, changed. As if a switch had been flipped somewhere in the recesses of his mind, I felt something from him I hadn't before. Acceptance.

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**End Chapter Notes:**

**I've still had a few people send me some concern that I'm not going to finish this story since I've started Finding Bella. I can't stress this enough, I WILL FINISH PERSPECTIVE. Even if more than a week goes by without an update, don't stress. Cannon is much harder to write than AH. We are coming down to the home stretch and there is a lot of detail to cover and mesh with what SM wrote in BD. **

**It looks like there will be a total of 42 chapters, which means we have 4 more chapters to go. :)**


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N:**

**I know this chapter took a while, but given its length I hope you will all understand. We are nearing the home stretch now. :)**

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

* * *

In the car with Charlie, I had pushed all the other voices, both verbal and mental, to the back of my mind. Then, they had been nothing but a buzz. Now, as we walked into the diner to join our group, I was less focused on the one voice and more open to my surroundings.

Locating the group of three vampires and a human in the back corner was not difficult, especially when everyone in the room was focused on them. Everyone was curious as to why 'The Cullen's' were here at the diner.

Their speculation was to be expected. None of my family, beside myself, had ever been inside these walls before today. I'd come here a total of six times with Bella, twice before I'd left and four times since we'd all returned.

On our approach, Charlie introduced himself to Renee's new husband. I had to contain my amusement as I listened to them mentally sizing each other up. It didn't take my special ability to know what was happening between the two men. I saw a smirk cross Emmett's face and shot him a warning look. He just shrugged in response, but changed his thoughts to a subject he knew would antagonize me, Bella's party. Carlisle caught the glare I was sending to my brother and poked Emmett with his elbow. It was enough to get him to back off, although the promise of _later_ was not promising.

We all took our seats and the waitress approached to take our orders. Luckily I had the excuse that Bella and I had stopped for dinner before picking up her mother and stepfather. My other family members, however, were forced to order something, as it would look odd if they didn't.

Once the server left with everyone's selections, the original tension began to fill the awkward silence. Of course, Emmett would be the one to break through it with one of his pointed comments. "You ready for the big day tomorrow, Eddie?"

I shot him another glare and then noticed Charlie and Phil shifting in their seats. Relaxing my face a little I tried to covey the intensity of my meaning with only my eyes to my brother. "I am, Emmett. And you know better than to call me that."

Unfortunately, Emmett's question was followed by Phil asking if I was nervous about getting married so young. I assured him that I wasn't. Bella was the only one for me, and that wouldn't change.

Many other questions followed, mostly from Phil and occasionally from Charlie ranging from where we were going on our honeymoon to our plans for the upcoming school year. As the meal came and went with me and my family being able to distract our human companions enough so that they were able to avoid having to actually eat the fare placed in front of them, everyone relaxed and enjoyed themselves for the most part. Although, after Carlisle caught me glancing at the clock for the eighth time in less than an hour, he silently chided me for my impatience.

I knew I was not to step foot in my house again for at least three hours, but that didn't help my anxiety. We were far enough away that I couldn't hear the thoughts of those currently occupying my home. The knowledge that Alice wouldn't let anything bad happen to my love was of little comfort because I knew Bella, and what was surely happening right now had to be causing her much discomfort. She deserved to be loved and pampered, not made embarrassed by what we were about to do.

Suddenly I felt a wave of calm pass over me and knew Jasper had sensed my growing anxiety. Taking a deep breath, I glanced over at him. He nodded, excepting my thanks. _She's fine, Edward. It's tradition, and you know Alice is all about keeping this traditional._

But that was exactly what had me worried. I could read minds and had seen some of the stuff that went on at bachelorette parties. Would Alice go so far as to hire a stripper? I didn't think so. She wouldn't want to cross me that badly two days before my wedding.

Then there was Renee. Bella's mother was unique unto herself. There were certain parts, small though they were, of her that were adult and responsible as it should be for her age, but there were other parts too, parts that Bella had spent years trying to deal with while growing up. The ones that could easily make her daughter even more embarrassed than she'd been in the car.

I managed to make it for two hours and twenty-five minutes before Emmett said, "Just call her already, geez! I'm tried of watching you squirm."

This, of course, caused the whole of our table to chuckle but I didn't care. He was right, I needed to talk to her, to hear her voice, make sure she was okay with whatever was happening. Better yet, I needed to be with her, but this would have to do for the next thirty-five minutes at least.

Not waiting for any further comment, I got up from my chair and walked out into the warm but overcast evening. I had her number dialed and the phone to my ear before I came to a stop around the corner.

But it wasn't Bella who answered the phone it was Alice. "No, we're not ready for you yet. I said three hours at least. Last time I checked you could count, Edward." I heard some mumbling in the background with what sounded like a growl from whom I supposed was Alice.

Then the most beautiful voice in my world came through the phone. "Edward," she breathed.

I closed my eyes and drank it up. "Bella," I whispered right back.

Neither of us said anything for a few seconds as we both enjoyed the reconnection. But finally I knew I needed to speak or Alice would be forcibly trying to remove the phone from Bella's possession in order to finish the party she'd planned. "How are you?" I asked. "It's not horrible is it?"

She made a sound that didn't sound promising. "I'll tell you later? Alice is already taping her foot for me to get off."

I sighed. "Okay. I'll be there in," I looked at my watch, "half an hour. I'll be the one to take you and Charlie home so I'll just meet you up in your room once Charlie's in bed?"

It was her turn to sigh. "I can't wait." She paused. "Okay. Okay. Edward, I've got to go. Alice is about ready to rip the phone out of hand."

"Alright, love. I see shortly. Bella, I love you."

"I love you too, Edward."

And then she was gone.

The urge to just run home and check on her was strong, but I managed to force myself back inside the diner instead. Everyone looked up as I re-entered. My family had small smirks on their faces since they'd been able to easily overhear my conversation. Phil and Charlie look slightly concerned.

I took my seat again and said, "She's okay."

The men of Bella's family lightened up at that, but Carlisle seemed to notice something in my tone of voice. He could always read me so well. _She's fine, Edward. You heard her._

Given our current company I couldn't answer his thoughts out loud, but I nodded my understanding. He was right. She wasn't in any real danger. This was tradition, and just a technicality to be endured.

Finally, the three hours were over and we were able to leave. Again, I got amused looks from the rest of the group at my eagerness. "I remember when it was like that," Phil said.

"Yeah," Charlie confirmed.

Once again Bella's father and I were alone in my car. There was tension once again, but it was not as it had been. His mind was not on me, nor was mine on him. I was anxious to see my Bella again, and he was nervous about seeing Renee and Phil together for the first time.

It was a welcome distraction to focus on his thoughts during our short drive. Charlie wasn't exactly jealous, he was more curious. There was a part of him that still loved that flighty woman he'd falling for nearly twenty years ago, but in the end he wanted her to be happy. He liked Phil after spending time with him at the diner, which had eased his mind a little; Charlie realized just how different he and the younger man were.

I pulled up in front of what had been my home for the last four years, and with a sigh from Charlie we both exited and headed for the house. Carlisle and the rest pulled up before we'd gotten very far. To be polite, Charlie stopped to wait. I, however, wasn't much concerned with manners at the moment. As soon as I opened the front door, I honed in on the heartbeat and scent I knew so well.

When I located her she was in the dining room sitting at the head of the table covered in ribbons and wearing a t-shirt that had BRIDE written across the chest. Her hair was in disarray and on top of her head sat a paper crown declaring her to be the center of attention for the evening.

I vaguely registered the things and people around her, but mostly I just saw her. Jessica was talking, waving her fork full of cake around, but Bella looked only to be half listening. Mostly, my love just looked ready to escape.

And then she saw me.

Our eyes met and her face lit up in a grin that I'd come to know was just for me. I took a step farther into the room, and she was up out of her seat and heading into my arms in four seconds.

When we finally made contact, she crashed into my body a little harder than what I would have liked. As I took in her glorious freesia scent, I asked her if she was alright. She breathed deep and then sighed, "I am now."

I chuckled. "You are mine now for the rest of the night," I promised.

Her frail arms squeezed my waist tighter as she raised her head wanting a kiss. "I think I can live with that," she whispered as her lips met mine.

Our show of affection was met with both sighs and giggles from those surrounding us. Charlie and the rest of our dinner party had come into the house and were there to witness our public display. Even he just shook his head a chuckled.

Bella noticed and I mouthed the word 'later'. She nodded her head and we both turned to face our family and friends.

Emmett and Jasper had gravitated toward their mates, although they were not being as openly affectionate as Bella and I were. Of course, they're situation was different than ours. I knew my siblings loved their mates, I read it in their minds each and every day. And although they would die for each other, missed the other while they were parted, it was not the same. When I was not physically in contact with Bella I felt like something wasn't right. Only her touch made that feeling go away, made me feel whole, complete.

We all stood talking until someone mentioned Renee and Phil having to get back to their hotel. To my surprise, Alice and Jasper volunteered to drive them. _It'll be fine, Edward_. Alice assured me. I trusted her, and Jasper had been having less trouble lately.

Once Renee and Phil were out the door, I offered to take Bella and her father home. I hated that I had to take her to her father's house and leave her, even if for just an hour or so, before I could join her up in her room. One of the many advantages of her as my wife would be never having to leave her at her front door again under the pretense of me going home for the night.

Charlie's house was dark when we pulled up. He unbuckled his seatbelt as soon as the car came to a stop and opened his door. "I'll see you inside, Bells." Then he turned and nodded at me. "Edward."

We both watched as her father walked up the stairs and disappeared into the house. "What was that?" Bella asked, clearly confused.

She was still in the back seat so instead of answering her question I said, "Charlie is giving us some time to say goodnight. Since it's raining, would you like to join me in the front seat or would you prefer I join you in the back?" Bella sighed, quickly exiting and re-entering my vehicle, sliding into the front passenger seat beside me.

As soon as she was settled, I reached up and took her face between my hands before lowering my mouth to hers. She responded eagerly, her hands coming up to tangle and pull at my hair. Our lips moved together for several minutes before things began to heat up and I pulled back. It was difficult enough for me to keep thing under control when there was plenty of room and air around us. I didn't want to push things in the concentrated and constricted atmosphere of my Volvo.

We held each other's gaze, our foreheads touching, as our breathing came back to normal. Her hand came up to caress the hard skin of my face before she sat back in her seat releasing a breath that filled the car with her amazing fragrance.

I watched as she got a determined, yet questioning, look on her face and knew what was coming. She looked up at me and asked, "Why is Charlie being so nice to you all of a sudden?"

My hand inched closer to her and hers met mine as if there was an unseen force drawing us together. With my thumb, I rubbed a small circular pattern along her wrist as I answered her. "I talked to him. Explained some things." Her eyebrow quirked up in question, wanting more. "It's nothing really, Bella. We talked."

"You…talked," she repeated, her words dripping with doubt.

I brought our linked hands up to place a soft kiss on her upturned palm before trailing my nose up to her wrist. "It was nothing major, love. I just wanted to reassure Charlie that I would take care of you." My eyes came up and locked with hers. "Forever."

She swallowed and her heart picked up its pace. I wasn't sure if it was my words that caused this reaction or my gentle attention to her flesh. "So…" she paused. "So Charlie is okay with you now?"

"Hmmm," I answered, my attention once again concentrated on enjoying the floral smell that belonged to my love. My throat was burning, but it was more than welcome. It was only a minor thought pushed aside easily as I focused on her close proximity. The single most thought in my mind was how I was going to keep my promise of making it up to her tonight.

"Must…have been…some talk," she panted.

This was what I wanted. It always amazed me that I was able to do this to her with such simple touches. Her skin was so soft against my hard nose and mouth, so warm against my cold. "Mmmm. Yes it was," I breathed against her hand sending tiny goose bumps up her arm.

Then she surprised me by asking, "Is he…watching?"

"No," I answered, looking up at her from my position with my head bowed over her hand.

"Good," she said, with more clarity than I thought her capable of at the moment. I got a strong whiff of her scent the second she began to move and then I felt her body rush towards me. My hands came out to protect her from my hardness, but even still I felt her, for the second time tonight, crash into me with more force than I would have preferred.

Her hands grabbed my hair and pulled me to her as she tried to climb into my lap. My brain told me to push her away, but instinct said to pull her closer. I didn't want to listen to my brain.

The feel of her as I wrapped my arms around her waist and mingled my lips with hers sent my head and teenage hormones into utter bliss. Nothing was better than having Bella in my arms with my mouth on hers, our bodies crashing together in passion and need. I couldn't wait to be inside her.

That moment of realization provided enough clarity of thought for me to slow things down. Bella moaned in frustration, fully aware of what I was doing. This time it was her who pulled away. "You can't be at your limit yet," she almost whined.

I couldn't help the half smile that curved my lips. She was so beautiful with her lips well kissed and her breath coming faster than it normally should, all because of me. "No, love," I assured her. "I just thought maybe my car was not the best place for what we were doing."

"Oh," she said with a little surprise in her voice. Then she looked around and blushed. Bella was poised somewhere in between straddling the center console of my Volvo and sitting in my lap. This, was new.

With amazing speed and a little of Bella's tale tell clumsiness, she found her own seat again. "Sorry," she mumbled.

I reached out and felt the heat of her blush through my palm as I traced it down her cheek. "No need to apologize. I was rather enjoying myself."

Bella looked up at me as her teeth encompassed her lower lip. Then she glanced down at my lap. A small growl escaped me knowing what she was looking for and what she'd find. Her head turned and her lips grazed the cold hand still resting at her face. The feel of teeth lightly scrapping against my marble skin registered, followed by the softness of her tongue.

I stopped breathing. My muscles locked into place as I fought the urges flowing through me at that exact moment, urges that would end in a much more primal way than I wanted for Bella. "You need to go inside," I said with the air I had left.

And then she smirked at me, opened her door, and said, "Don't be late."

I remained unmovable until she crossed the threshold of her home. That woman would be the death of me.

When I felt I had control again, I sped toward my home and parked the Volvo in its usual spot. Charlie wouldn't be going to bed for at least another hour so I went inside to find our home back in its normal state of organization. All the decorations had been put away. The food and drink were disposed of. It was as if the party had never existed. I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

Emmett and Jasper's thoughts screamed almost in unison to get my attention. I turned and saw both my brothers bounding down the steps. "So little brother, Bella had her night tonight are you ready for your bachelor party tomorrow?"

My bear of a brother raised both his eyebrows suggestively, and I rolled my eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about Emmett." There was absolutely no way I was letting them drag me through some crazy ritual. The only reason I'd allowed tonight to happen for Bella was because it was tradition, and one more human experience for her in the short time she had left.

Just as I was about to voice my objection to whatever they had planned, Carlisle walked into the room with his arm around Esme. "Don't even think about trying to get out of this, son. It's tradition to have a guys hunting trip the night before the wedding, and you are not missing out on it."

A hunting trip. That would mean being away from Bella tomorrow night. As if reading my thoughts, Jasper said, "You really think Alice would let you stay with Bella tomorrow night? It's the night before your wedding, man. Tradition says the bride and groom can't see each other until the ceremony."

I groaned. He was right. Alice would be very insistent that my love and I not see one another after midnight. She was going overboard with the tradition. "Fine," I said, knowing I wouldn't be able to get out of it.

Emmett came up and slapped me hard on the shoulder. "Just think, a whole night for us to give you pointers."

"Emmett," Carlisle warned.

"Oh come on! I've been waiting over seventy years for this," he complained.

My father just gave him a stern look, which caused Emmett to sulk. I knew my brother though. Vocal or not, he'd get his teasing in somehow. Sometimes my mind reading was most definitely a disadvantage.

The time downstairs with my family took a little more time than I'd anticipated and it was almost eleven before I made it back to Bella's.

As I ran across the lawn, I could see that only the lamp beside her bed remained lit. Hearing movement inside, I knew she was awake, waiting on me. I smiled, knowing it would only be seconds before I would see her again.

Slipping through the window, I landed gracefully onto the floor without a sound. It wasn't until I moved to stand up that Bella noticed me. She'd been reading, as usual. Putting her book to the side, she moved over to allow me room next to her in her bed. Without her having to ask, I removed my shirt and shoes before getting in beside her.

I heard her heart pick up speed as I got into bed beside her. And before she could react further, I reached out and brought her to sit on my lap facing me. Her knees were on either side of my hips, and her hands found purchase on my shoulders to balance herself.

She was off balance, and I wanted to keep her that way. I had ever intention to keep my promise of making it up to her tonight.

My mouth captured hers in a sure kiss as my hands brought her body closer to mine. I tried to keep fabric in between us wherever possible so she wouldn't get chilled, but the heat coming from my Bella's body told me that was not likely.

Soon her fingers left their perch on my shoulders and found their way into my hair. We kissed and I allowed all the passion I felt for her to come through, only breaking periodically for her to get a solid breath. During those times, I concentrated my efforts on her cheeks and jaw.

My hands explored her back and up into her hair fluffing it and sending her scent wafting around us. The burn began to build hotter, but I ignored it. Tonight was for her.

One of Bella's hands left its place in my hair and moved slowly down my neck, over my collarbone, to draw small circles on my chest. I pulled her closer, crushing my mouth harder against hers.

A whine escaped her lips but it didn't appear to be a negative response, so I continued my efforts. I could feel the heat of her radiating through the thin fabric of our clothes. The smell of her arousal was causing my head to spin. Bella pressed hard against my own aching need for her and I gasped causing me to have to pull my mouth away from her.

My reaction did not go unnoticed by her and she became motionless. "Edward?" Her voice was laced with concern.

I pulled her forehead back to rest against mine. "I'm okay, love," I answered through my ragged breathing. Venom was freely flowing down my throat now as her scent consumed me. My fingers flexed against where they rested on her hip. She remained where she was as both our breathing returned to normal and the poison slowed its decent.

Gradually I felt her begin to get up, but I held her still. I didn't want her to leave her place on top of me. She realized what I wanted and stopped pulling away. The evidence of her proximity and our recent activities was still evident, but she didn't seem to mind. I had to bite back a groan as she pressed against me once again, this time unintentionally. "Sorry," she mumbled.

I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck and brought my lips to hers once again, this time for a chaste kiss. "Don't apologize, Bella."

We sat wrapped in each other's arms for several minutes before my gaze fell on the book she'd set on her nightstand. I could not be reading the title correctly. Reaching out my right arm, I picked up the book and turned it so that I could read the cover.

_How to please your man in the bedroom_

My eyes flashed to Bella and her face was flushed with obvious embarrassment. She reached to take it from my hands, but I moved it out of her reach. "What…"

Her hands came up to cover her face. "Renee," she groaned.

Then realization came. I knew Bella had received gifts tonight at the party. The knowledge that my love's mother had bestowed this particular gift upon my fiancée left me momentarily speechless.

I had to ask, however, "And you were reading it? When I came in?" She nodded. "Why?"

"Why?" she asked, her voice dripping with some emotion I didn't quite understand. "I want to make you happy. Why wouldn't I read it?"

Suddenly I was disgusted with my future mother-in-law. My love had spent her childhood taking care of her mother instead of the other way around. Although I didn't like that fact, I overlooked it because it was her mother, and Bella loved her. But this…this was unacceptable.

I felt the book give, the hard cover cracking under the pressure of my fingers. Bella gasped and reached out. "Edward. Edward, stop!"

Slowly I peeled my fingers away. My fingerprints could still be seen and would leave a lasting impression unless I did additional damage to obscure them. At the moment, all I wanted to do was destroy the offending material. I settled for tossing it to the other side of the room and closing my eyes. I didn't want to see it.

I was still trying to contain my rage when I felt Bella's fingers began to softly caress my face. With her gentle touch, my temper was soothed and I let my head fall back against the headboard. "I'm sorry. Do you wish me to leave?"

Her hands paused for a second before continuing. "No. No, of course I don't. What's wrong with the book though?"

My eyes opened to look at her. "Bella, you're mother gave you a book to tell you how to…please me," I said through clenched teeth.

"Yes," she said clearly confused.

I sighed. "It implies that you don't already know how."

She cocked her head to the side as if considering, then said, "But I don't."

Leaning up, it was my turn to cup her face. "Every time you touch me, you please me. Each kiss, each caress drives me mad with want of you, Bella. I can barely contain my need for you just sitting here with you on my lap. How can you think you would possibly be in need of some book to tell you what you already know?"

I felt her heart skip a few beats before she flew into my arms. Her lips gazed my neck and she whispered, "I love you, Edward. I just want to be the perfect wife for you."

My arms wrapped around her back and ran a smooth pattern up and down her back. "There is no way you could not be, love."

We stayed locked together as we listened to Charlie come upstairs and get ready for bed. A short time later I encouraged a reluctant Bella to get beneath the covers herself. I knew she had to be chilled, and it was getting late.

Rolling onto her side, I tucked the blankets around her and pulled her back up against me. Burring my face in her hair, I placed a kiss to the back of her neck. "Go to sleep, my Bella. I'll be here when you wake."

It had been a long day, and within minutes she was asleep.

My night was filled with the reminder that Bella and I had never discussed her evening. I had let my temper over her mother's gift get the better of me. It was times like this when I was immensely grateful for her love. Even in my more irrational moments her feelings for me never wavered.

Slowly the first streaks of dawn began to fill the sky. I listened as Charlie began moving about the house. He was musing over the upcoming day.

His change in attitude towards me was so abrupt that it took some time to fully comprehend, even for someone of my experience and talent. Most humans were not as firm in their thoughts even when their actions presented a different picture. Charlie, however, had completely changed the direction of his thoughts in regards to me. He was actually looking forward to the same wedding he'd spent the last months dreading.

I watched the soft light play against her features and wondered if this was the same with my Bella. She was very much like her father in many ways, and I thought this might be one of those similarities. It had been difficult to change Charlie's perception of me in Bella's future, but now that I had it was as if his previous reservations had completely disappeared.

Remembering back to the beginnings of our relationship, I remembered her resolve. Her curiosity to solve the mystery of what I was had been single minded. Her determination that 'it didn't matter' after coming to the truth was even more so. I admired her and envied her in her stubborn resoluteness. She kept me grounded like no one else and I couldn't wait to spend eternity with her at my side.

Charlie eventually left to go pick up something from the station he'd forgotten. His mind hadn't settled on it for long enough for me to get a clear picture from his still murky thoughts.

The house was quiet after he left, all except for the woman lying beside me. She would shift every now and then, and thinking her uncomfortable with either my temperature or my solidity, I would put some space between us. That didn't work, however, as she would then start to move about more and her brow would wrinkle in what appeared to be distaste. After a half dozen of these attempts on my part to make her more comfortable and receiving this response from her, I resigned myself to just mold to whatever position she chose.

It wasn't too far into the morning when she fully woke and instinctively rolled toward me. Bella didn't say anything at first, but instead found the space just above my shoulder and burrowed into it as if trying to find something she'd lost.

My arms stayed wrapped around her loosely until her lips began pressing against my skin causing a shiver to ripple through me. I sucked in a harsh breath full of pure Bella when her tongue began replacing her lips.

Pulling her closer to me, I held on, riding out all the sensations that only she could cause within me. It was only Bella that made my throat burn this way, only she who could bring the monster that I was so close to the surface. But it was also only Bella who could make me feel so human, so utterly unlike the thing that I was.

"Morning," she murmured against my flesh.

I sucked in another quick unneeded breath as her fingers joined her mouth's assault by traveling down across the expanse of my chest to tease the skin of my stomach. "Bella…"

It was all I could say. After spending the entire night unable to do more than hold her, she was pushing my control. "Yes, Edward?" she answered as she slipped one finger into the waistband of my jeans to tease me.

All thought of restraint left my mind as a low growl rumbled in my chest and I flipped us over so that I was now hovering above her. Her eyes widened in surprise, but I saw the contradiction in her eyes. She knew exactly what she was doing to me.

I decided turn about was only fair. Leaning in, I pressed my cold lips to hers only briefly, teasing her. A little whine left her lips as I pulled away and began peppering kissing along her jaw and down her neck. When I reached the point just below her ear, she arched her back pressing her breasts into my chest.

The desire to taste her was overwhelmingly strong. Nothing else had the same flavor. I'd tasted her blood as it had been mixed with the elixir of fear, but much preferred the aroma of her like this. When she was aroused, wanting me, her flesh held a sweetness to it. Her naturally floral scent was mixed with something even more intoxicating and uniquely her, and it was all amazingly for me.

Leaning all my weight on my left hand, I used my right to roam down her side. It was not by accident that my fingers grazed the side of her breast. There was no denying my craving to be able to fully touch her as I wanted. We'd be traveling for almost a full twenty-four hours after our wedding, and then… Then there would be no barriers, no hidden secrets.

My daydreams only fueled my desires, and I continued my teasing. She was moving restlessly beneath me now. Her chest was moving up and down rapidly with each breath she took. Her hands were tugging roughly at my hair somewhere between holding me in place and pulling me to wherever she wanted my mouth next, currently it was hovering right where her collarbones came together on her chest. I wanted more than anything to go lower, but I'd waited over a hundred years to make her mine in every way possible. I could wait another two days.

Although I didn't want to, I knew I must be the one to pull away. Our time was limited, and Charlie would be back soon. She whined in protest as I put space between us and I couldn't help but chuckle.

Bella was less than pleased with my amusement. Her lower lip came out in a small pout that was utterly adorable. "Charlie will be back soon, love," I said trying to sooth her. "He'll be expecting you to be making an appearance this morning."

She seemed to resign herself to the fact that our practice time was over, but leaned in to place a brief kiss on my lips as she got out of bed and headed over to her closet. I watched her move; her hips were utterly entrancing.

Once her clothing was gathered in her arms, my love excused herself and made her way into the bathroom to change and have a few human moments. While she was gone, I walked to the corner where I'd thrown the book last night. I was still not happy about it, but now that I'd had time to temper my initial reaction I realized it wasn't much different than what Emmett had done to me.

It felt odd to think of my brother and my soon to be mother-in-law having the same thought processes, but in this case I had to assume that was in fact the case. Renee seemed to have no issue with embarrassing Bella, but I had to believe her intentions were good. She wanted to help us, and this was a way in which she felt she could.

The sound of the bathroom door opening made me move back to Bella's bed to wait on her. I strategically placed my hands on the cover and tried to cover the indentations my fingers had made. It wasn't perfect, but short of completely destroying the book it was the best it was going to be.

Bella came in wearing my favorite blue shirt and the same tan skirt she'd worn when meeting my family last year. Her hair fell around her shoulders, bouncing slightly as she walked towards me.

Stopping directly in front of where I was sitting on the edge of her bed, she placed her arms gently around my neck looking down at me. Her eyes glanced over at the book I'd just placed on her nightstand and then back at me. "Do you think the book learned its lesson?"

A crooked smile broke out on my face at her obvious attempt at humor. "Yes," I said. And then I added in a slightly more serious tone, "I am sorry about that. I over reacted, and I shouldn't have."

She nodded. "I know," Then she smiled. "But I love you anyway."

I brought my arms up to pull her into my lap. "That is a very good thing, Miss Swan."

With soft reverence I placed a kiss on her nose as she shifted to find a comfortable position. "Will you tell me about it? The party?"

Bella sighed, but nodded. "It wasn't too bad," she said reluctantly. "Most of it."

"I liked the shirt," I commented, reminded of the t-shirt she'd been wearing last night when I'd found her sitting at the kitchen table. It may have been silly, but I was in favor of anything that screamed to the world that she was mine.

She groaned. "Alice. She insisted."

A faint blush rose on her cheeks, and I couldn't resist pressing my lips to her hair. "What else," I whispered, breathing in her scent.

Slowly she told me of games they'd played and the presents she'd received. The more she told me, the more embarrassed she got. Although I loved the beautiful flush that covered her skin, I couldn't help but hold her closer as I sensed her discomfort.

Bella handled it well, all things considered. I'm not sure how I would have faired had I had to sit through a race to put condoms on cucumbers. Bella told me that she'd gotten some outfits, but when I'd asked if I could see them she'd refused. "Love, if they are meant for us then why am I not able to see them?"

She hid her face in my shoulder. "Because, Edward, they're just… I can't even imagine wearing them."

My curiosity was peaked. I had a feeling it was lingerie, and given some of the other things we'd discussed over the last few weeks I couldn't imagine it would be causing her this much embarrassment. "If you won't show me, can you tell me?" She shook her head. "Please?"

I felt movement, but she remained in place against my hard shoulder for several minutes. Then in a whisper said, "A maid and nurse outfit."

For a moment I sat trying to comprehend what she'd just said. Then it hit me. I remembered several years ago Emmett had mentioned Rose dressing up in a maid outfit for him. Given that I had no wish to know the details of their sex life at the time, once I'd realized the direction of the conversation, I'd tuned him out. Now, I wish I'd paid more attention.

Leaning back a little, I coaxed her to look at me. "Love, just because it was a gift does not mean you have to wear it if it makes you feel uncomfortable."

"Thank you. I just…"

Tilting my head to the side I asked, "What?"

She bit her lower lip, and I could see her mind working. Finally she said, "I just didn't know if you'd like that sort of thing."

Her eyes lowered as soon as the words left her mouth. I smiled at her and brought her face to mine for a kiss. Honestly I'd never thought of her 'dressing up' for me. It was an intriguing thought I would need to think about further. Maybe even ask my brothers, even though that thought made me cringe.

Charlie's mind begins to break into my thoughts. "Your father is on his way home, love. I need to leave." She nodded reluctantly and we both stood. Bella walked me over to her window, and I placed a kiss on her forehead. "I'll be back in about a hour," I said, before releasing her and jumping out the window.

Running home, my mind was flying through everything Bella had told me about last night. I was glad she'd eventually shared those things with me, but I had thought my brothers were over the top when it came to sexual conversations. Bella's experience last night confirmed for me that those kinds of conversations were not limited to the male of the species, human or vampire.

Coming upon my home, I made my way inside and found Esme busy making preparations for the rehearsal dinner this evening. Sliding up behind her, I placed a kiss on her cheek. "Morning, mom."

She smiled over her shoulder at me. "Good morning, Edward. How is Bella this morning?"

Her face showed no sign of distress, but her mind betrayed her. "She'd fine, Esme. A little embarrassed by last night, but…"

"I'm sorry about that. I honestly didn't know what all they were planning until it was too late. You know Alice, she wanted it to be as traditional as possible."

"I know."

Then her thoughts changed focus. "Only eighteen more hours as a free man. How does it feel?"

A huge smile split my face, "I love it."

Her answering smile was filled with the love and happiness flowing through her mind. Reaching out to me, she pulled me in for a hug. "I am so happy for you, son. Bella is absolutely perfect for you."

I hugged her back. "She is perfect," I said with all the reverence I felt.

We heard Rose and Alice before they entered the room. Esme went back to her preparations, while I turned to greet my sisters. "Good morning, Edward," Alice said as she glided into the room followed by Rose.

Still not sure how I felt about last night in relation to Alice, I gave her a curt, "Alice."

She stopped in her tracks and looked at me. "Nothing happened last night that either didn't need to, or that wouldn't have happened in a much more embarrassing situation for Bella otherwise."

"How do you figure that, Alice. You raced how fast you could put condoms on a cucumber!"

Rose snickered, which brought my attention to her. "And what part did you play in last night, Rose? Some of those games sounded like Emmett had a hand in them."

Narrowing her eyes at me, she took a step forward. Alice stepped in between us, however, and said, "It was all me, Edward. Well me and Renee anyway."

"Renee?"

"Yeah," she shrugged. "In fact, you should be thanking me. You're future mother-in-law wanted to play a version of pin the tail on the donkey she'd found on-line." Her mind drifted to the vision she'd gotten when Renee had came up with the idea. The game had made the party come abruptly to an end as Bella ran up to my room and locked herself inside.

"Okay," I said. "I'll give you that. But the other stuff?"

She shrugged again. "It's a wedding, Edward. Deal with it."

"Fine," I said, still not happy. Turning, I made my way up to my room to change.

Without further incident, I made it back to Bella's house. Charlie was in the living room watching television, while my love was in the kitchen on the phone.

I knocked on the door, and it was Charlie that answered. "Edward," he smiled. Then he motioned over his shoulder. "She'd in the kitchen."

"Thanks," I said and headed into the house and toward her voice.

Bella saw me as soon as I walked into the room. Her face lit up with a huge smile and she walked over to me, taking my hand. "Yeah, mom. Edward just got here so we'll be there to pick you up soon."

A few minutes later, she was off the phone and fully in my arms. There were no words, just feeling.

About a half and hour later, we were on our way to Port Angeles to pick up her mother and Phil. I really wasn't sure what to say to Renee. She seemed to have a one-track mind, and was obsessed with our sex life.

My question was answered twenty minutes later as we walked into the hotel where they were staying and found them waiting for us in the lobby. Both were in a good mood and excited about the rest of the weekend, but once again Renee was evaluating every move and interaction between Bella and me.

I asked if they were hungry as we got into the car, this time with Bella in the front seat beside me. They assured me they'd both recently eaten so I headed for the highway and Forks.

As soon as I set into a slow, but steady, speed of eighty miles per hour Renee seemed to get her bearings and began her questioning. If I'd thought last night was bad, I'd been mistaken. "Bella, did you show Edward everything you got last night at your party?"

"No, mom," my love answered sinking down a little in her seat.

I'd already been holding her hand, but I tightened my grip knowing what was coming. "Well why not? He is going to be your husband after all. I mean I know you play the innocent Bella, but I'm not stupid. I know what young couples do when they're alone." She paused for just a moment before adding, "Even when they say they don't."

Bella's face was on fire. The air in the car was thick with her scent and my throat was burning, but all I wanted to do was pull her into my arms.

My love covered her face with her free hand, and her mother misinterpreted her action. "Oh don't be embarrassed about it, Bella. You're in love! It's only natural to do those things." Then her face turned into a pout. "I just don't understand why you're being so secretive about it. I mean is it your father?" She considered this and figured that must be it. "I'll talk to him. You're a grown woman and you have needs just like the rest of us."

"Mom, please," Bella begged. "It's not dad."

"Well what then? I mean… Well…surely Edward isn't THAT bad in the bedroom."

Instantly, all the color left Bella's face and I stopped breathing. "Stop the car," Bella said through clenched teeth. I did as she asked, although I had no idea what she was going to do.

As soon as Volvo was placed in park, she was out the door with Renee following her. Renee was about to speak, but Bella was faster. My love rounded on her mother with a fierce determination I'd only seen a handful of times. It was the look she got when she was defending me, protecting me. "From this point forward, my sex life is off limits. It is no longer a topic for discussion."

"Bella what are you talking about? Of course we'll talk about your sex life."

"No," Bella said. "We won't. I've told you more than once that Edward and I are waiting. I don't know why you don't believe me, but obviously you think I would lie to you." Renee started to speak again, but Bella once again cut her off. "No. You will let me speak. What Edward and I do or don't do together is between us and only us. We may be new at this, but we'll figure it out. Without your help."

Renee was hurt by her words, but I understood why Bella felt the need to be so harsh to her mother. I agreed with every word she'd said. For some reason, everyone seemed to be taking an inordinate amount of interest in the intimate part of our relationship. In some ways, I could understand my families interest given they knew the entire story and the gravity of what we were going to attempt. Everyone else's preoccupation made no sense to me.

Reluctantly, Bella's mother agreed to keep her comments to herself, and apologized. The remainder of the car ride was outwardly silent. Inwardly, Renee was still trying to understand her daughter's reaction.

The two of them were so different. Renee talked openly about everything. She rarely, if ever, had a filter on her thoughts. It was hard for her to fathom Bella not wanting to talk, to share, which is why she'd thought that I must be incompetent or lacking in some way. It was the only logical reason she could come up with.

We stopped for a short time at Charlie's house, before heading over to mine. Alice quickly took charge when we walked into the house, and ushered Renee and Phil out to the back yard so she could show them the basic set up for tomorrow. _Bella wants to talk to you, Edward._

My sister's thoughts followed her as she walked out the back doors of our home. I turned to the woman at my side and asked, "Would you like to go up to my room for a few minutes?" She nodded, and we headed up the stairs at a human pace.

As we walked into my room, she turned to me. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I had no idea she was going to do that."

I took her into my arms and placed a kiss on her hair. "I know, love. And there is no need for you to apologize."

"Yes, I do," she said, wrapping her arms around my waist. "I can't believe she thought there was something wrong with you."

I couldn't help but laugh. "There is something wrong with me." She looked up at me and I lifted my eyebrow willing her to argue with me.

"That isn't something wrong with you, it's what you are."

Not wanting to argue with her, I just pressed her back against my chest. "Twenty-six hours and forty-two minutes from now, you'll be walking down the staircase in your wedding gown."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" she asked, but I could hear a bit of humor in her voice.

"It makes me feel better," I answered instead.

She didn't comment. Eventually, we made our way back downstairs and found Renee and Phil in the living room with my two brother and sisters. They were tense, being in the same room with four vampires, even though my siblings were trying to act as human has possible. Both visibly relaxed when they saw Bella.

We spent the next three hours watching television and talking.

Just before six, Charlie, along with Reverend Webber arrived. We all moved out into the area Alice had declared was perfect for the ceremony.

After a few instructions from the minister, Alice, Charlie, and Bella disappeared up the stairs while Rose took a seat behind the piano. I stood between Reverend Webber and Carlisle, and waited.

Rose began playing and soon Alice appeared. She was graceful as she floated down the aisle.

When she took her place opposite Carlisle, Rose began playing the first few stings of the wedding march and I felt my excitement begin. I could hear her and Charlie coming down the steps before I saw them.

They rounded the corner and my eyes locked with hers. In less than twenty-four hours, a day, she would be my wife. A smile broke out on my face. It wasn't until I felt Carlisle nudge me that I realized my teeth were showing.

Quickly adjusting my face, I watched her continue to walk towards me. Reverend Webber had Rose stop the music after Bella had walked half way, and explained that tomorrow she, Alice, and Charlie would want to walk a little slower. All parties nodded and then she was beside me.

I listened half heartedly as the minister went through the steps of the ceremony. Over the last fifty years, I'd attended over a dozen wedding ceremonies. I didn't need to know the technicalities. All I needed was to know that in the end the woman standing at my side would be bound to me in every legal way. She would truly be mine.

After running through everything a second time, we all retired to the dining room for dinner. Bella sat beside me, and in truth we were in our own little world. While she ate, we held hands and spoke softly. Periodically, I would find a reason to kiss her whether it would be on her hand, or forehead, or lips.

All I wanted was for the next hours to go by quickly so that I could be alone with the beautiful creature at my side. I squeezed her hand, and she looked up at me. Her eyes were full of emotion, filled with the love she had for only me.

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**I don't know when the next chapter will be up. It is likely to be another long one so don't panic if it takes me a few weeks. **


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N:**

**Merry Christmas Everyone! **

**This chapter takes us up to the wedding and includes the conversation in Bella's bedroom the night before the wedding. **

**I edited this quickly and on Christmas with quite a few distractions, so if I missed something please over look it. **

**Only two more chapters left. :)**

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

* * *

We'd just finished dinner when Carlisle received a call from the hospital. I could hear Dr. Snow apologizing over and over again through the phone even after Carlisle assured him it was no trouble for him to come in tonight.

Carlisle wasn't being entirely truthful. Although prepping for surgery to take out an appendix at this hour would not be an issue for him, it did mean that he'd be missing out on our hunting trip tonight.

When he hung up the phone his first glance was to me. _Sorry. _I nodded and gave him a small smile letting him know that it was fine.

My feelings about tonight were mixed. Hunting before Bella and I left for our honeymoon was a good idea. Even though I wasn't that thirsty yet, it would mean I wouldn't have to leave her on the island quite so soon if things went well. But it also meant that I would be spending fourteen hours alone with my brothers AND away from Bella.

Being away from my love for even an hour made me anxious and the longer it lasted the worse it got. The comfort I clung to was that at the end of those fourteen hours she would be my wife.

The smile returned to my face and Bella noticed. Her arm slipped around my waist and I felt it tighten. When I glanced down at her, her face held a mirroring smile.

We all stood in the foyer as Carlisle made his apologies and said his goodbyes.

My brother's thoughts were on tonight and how much more freedom they would have with me since Carlisle would not be joining us. Alice was focused on the future and those involved. She was determined that all go well tomorrow and for that I was grateful. I wanted this to be a good memory for Bella even if she wasn't looking forward to it as much as I was.

Once Carlisle was down the driveway and out of sight, Phil looked down at his watch and commented that they should be heading back. To my surprise, Charlie volunteered to drive Renee and Phil back to their hotel.

Renee walked over to where Bella and I were standing off to the side. She eyed Bella weirdly for a second before pulling her into a hug. "I love you, Bella," she whispered.

Bella released her hold on me to embrace her mother. "I love you too, Mom."

After Renee stepped to the side, Phil came up and gave Bella a quick hug as well before retaking his place beside Renee who was now thanking Esme for the wonderful dinner.

Charlie made his way over to us next. He was stoic as usual, both in thought and action. Nodding to us, he said, "I'll see you at home, Bells."

My love just smiled back at her father and replied, "Drive safe, Dad." He just smirked at her and headed toward the door.

Bella put her hand in mine as we followed her family out the door.

The three of them got into Charlie's cruiser as we watched from the porch. Renee turned to waive goodbye as they pulled away. She was reluctant to leave her little girl knowing that tomorrow their time would be brief. My love's free hand lift slightly returning the sentiment and I squeezed her hand gently to offer what comfort I could.

It was only a little after nine when Bella whispered to me that she was ready to go home. Before either of us could move or I could say anything in response, however, Alice was bouncing toward us. "Eleven-thirty, Edward. There will be no seeing the bride after midnight and I'm not taking any chances."

Bella looked up at me with questions in her eyes. "You're not staying tonight?"

Alice made a dismissive sound and waived her hand in the air. "Of course he's not. He has a bachelor party to attend. Tradition, Bella," she said as if that answered all questions.

I saw Bella's mouth pull down a little in disappointment, but she didn't argue with Alice.

Given that we knew Charlie was gone for at least the next two hours and Bella's car was already at her house, we decided to forgo vehicles tonight. Walking into the back yard I pulled Bella gently onto my back. She circled her limps around my body pressing her heat against me. It was such a wonderful feeling.

With Bella on my back I ran through the forest. The trees whipped by us and I felt her smile as she kept her lips close to my neck. I could feel her hot breath tickling me with each exhale.

Twice during the run she pressed her lips against my cold skin. It was just a small gesture, but one I loved just the same.

The porch light was on when we arrived at her house. Charlie must have turned it on before leaving to come to rehearsal dinner, not knowing how late things would be. Although I didn't need the light, it made things easier for Bella.

Inside the house was dark and quiet. She flipped on a light and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. I leaned against the doorway just watching her.

When she was finished, she took my hand and led me up to her bedroom. Her eyes immediately fell to the clock and I knew what she was doing. It was the same thing I'd been doing from the moment Alice had put words to our time limit.

Closing the small distance between us, I wrapped my arms around her from behind and kissed the crown of her head. "Get ready for bed and I'll lay with you until I have to go."

She agreed reluctantly and went to her drawer to get her things. I walked to the rocking chair in the corner and sat down to wait as my love took a few human moments.

Closing my eyes, I listened to her movements in the other room. Every night it was the same routine. First, she would brush out her hair. I would imagine it was me holding the brush as it ran through her long locks. Her scent would float through the air freely surrounding both of us. The burn in my throat intensified just thinking about it.

Then came the sound of her removing her clothing. Zippers and buttons releasing their hold to reveal what I had yet to fully see. My mind flashed back to Seattle and her lying on the bed in the outfit she'd purchased with Alice. The memory of those soft curves under my hands, my lips, it was too much. A groan rumbled in my chest as my body reacted to the perfect recall I had of that night.

The sound of the shower starting didn't help my current state as I heard her step into the spray. Being a vampire I could hear so many sounds that a human could not like the slight variation of water against flesh instead of porcelain.

I felt my pants tighten as my fingers curled over the arms of the rocker, my mind attempting to focus on anything but her and failing miserably. The plain and simple truth was that I didn't want to be thinking about anything but her. She was my world. Bella was my present and my future. My bride.

The images I'd once thought to be inappropriate filled my mind as I continued to track every movement she made through sound. By the time the water shut off I was in what could only be described as pain. I'd long released my grip on the chair in fear of doing damage. All my muscles were locked in place, ridge. My breath was coming quickly, desperately inhaling the searing burn down my throat.

Knowing I needed to calm down before she returned, I moved to the window and opened it. The air was still warm but the light breeze helped to clear my head and ease the burn in my throat. Slowly my muscles began to relax.

It was at the window that Bella found me. Just her entering the room added a new dynamic to the heavily laden scent already in the room.

She didn't walk directly to me, but instead put her things away. I turned and watched her.

Bella wore a gray tank top and a matching pair of shorts. Neither was as revealing as the outfit I'd just been remembering, but they were still enticing.

With each step she drew closer to me and I could feel that same pull I always did when she was near. Coming to a stop in front of me she reached a hand up to caress my cheek. "Are you okay?" she asked.

I gave her the crooked smile I knew she loved. "Yes."

"What are you thinking about?"

"You," I said simply.

She took another step forward, this time placing both her hands in my hair. "Good things I hope."

Bella pulled my head down and I brought our lips to nearly touching. "Very good things," I whispered before pressing my mouth against hers.

Our kiss was gentle without a hint of the passion I'd been feeling only moments ago. It would not be good to get worked up tonight considering that I had to leave soon and she needed her rest.

Several minutes past before we drew apart. Bella took a step back towards her bed pulling me with her. Willingly I followed.

She released me briefly to climb into her bed. The blanket wrapped around her small body and she looked up at me expectantly.

I removed my shoes and began to get into the bed before the look on her face stopped me. Bella looked like she was preparing for an argument although I had no idea what the subject would be. "What is it, love?"

Bella crossed her arms over her chest causing her breasts to lift slightly and I swallowed quickly refocusing my eyes on her face. "You're forgetting something?" she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I continued to look at her trying to figure out what it was that I was forgetting when I followed her eyes to my chest. When I looked down I realized what her problem was. I was still wearing my shirt and she had declared I was no longer permitted to wear a shirt in her bed.

Laughing, I efficiently pulled the shirt over my head and tossed it on the floor beside my shoes. Bella's eyes raked over my now naked torso and got bigger, darker as I moved to take my place at her side.

She moved to lay flush against my side, her head coming to rest on my shoulder, her left hand over my silent heart. It was perfect. No words were said for the longest time as we just enjoyed being together away from families and obligations.

It was in these moments that I felt the most human. I was hers and she was mine. We were not human and vampire, only Bella and Edward.

Eventually we heard Charlie come home and make his way up to his room. He didn't check on Bella, thinking her to already be asleep given the quiet of her room. We listened as his movements filled the silence followed a short time later by his soft snores.

Gradually Bella's fingers began to glide along my chest. Just that small movement caused a reaction in me from the deepest part of my being. "How much longer?" she asked.

There was no doubt in my mind as to what she was asking. I looked over at the clock and then let my lips graze her forehead as I murmured. "It's just after eleven."

Bella groaned and pulled herself up so that our faces were aligned. Her soft lips pressed against mine. "I miss you already," she whispered.

Her hands came up to find their pace in my hair while her mouth hovered a breath away from mine. "I don't need to leave. I can stay…" I answered back as my lips rubbed against hers seductively. I truly didn't want to leave her. Alice could yell at me later.

"Mmm," was her only verbal response as our mouths came together once more.

My arms held her tighter. As we kissed the outside world fell away leaving only us, our breathing, her heartbeat.

In twenty-four hours we'd be on our way to Isle Esme. I opened my eyes and looked at her as our lips parted. She was amazing. Perfect. Mine. A thousand years from now I would still be thanking whatever fate had brought her into my life.

Bella's eyes slowly opened and found mine. She was gazing at me with a look of wonder I didn't understand and never would. It was filled with such love, such devotion.

My love's arms pulled me to her, our mouths meeting in gentle supplication. I did not want to leave her. Ever. "Definitely staying," I murmured.

She pulled back slightly. "No, no. It's your bachelor party. You have to go."

Bella said the words, but her actions stated her true feelings. Her fingers tightened in my hair and she pressed her body more firmly against me.

In response, my hands came up surround her face gently. My fingers ran softly up and down from temple to jaw. "Bachelor parties are designed for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. I couldn't be more eager to have mine behind me. So there's really no point." There was no point other than tradition and an excuse to hunt.

To try and distract her I adjusted our positions slightly and angled her head up so that I could have access to her neck. I heard her response as the first goose bumps from my cool breath formed on her skin. "True," she breathed.

My nose traced the line up and down her neck taking in her scent. Bella's heart pounded against her chest making me smile. I loved that sound.

Then it was my turn to stop breathing as I felt her hand snake around me and begin trailing down my chest to my stomach. My body reacted to her touch as it normally did making me want to remove all the barriers between us.

Before I could do anything stupid I pulled myself back up to capture her lips with my own. What I didn't expect, but should have given my knowledge of Bella, was her willingness to push my control. Her tongue slipped between her lips and pressed against mine.

A sigh of pleasure left my mouth. I needed to pull away from her. I needed distance.

Bella had other ideas. "Wait," she said grapping my shoulders and pulling herself as close to me as possible. Her leg came lose from the blanket surrounding her and circled my waist. "Practice makes perfect," she grinned.

I couldn't stop myself from chuckling. "Well, we should be fairly close to perfection by this point then shouldn't we?" Then I couldn't help but add, "Have you slept at all in the last month?"

It was meant to be a joke but of course Bella had a one-track mind. "But this is the dress rehearsal and we've only practiced certain scenes. It's no time for playing safe."

As soon as the words left her lips, I sobered. We were not playing and she most certainly wasn't safe. My last time with Jasper began to replay in vivid detail. The dirt in my hands. The deep impressions left in the ground marking my loss of control. "Bella…"

My thoughts must have been written clearly on my face given her next words. "Don't start this again. A deal's a deal."

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "It's too hard to concentrate when you're with me like this. I…I can't think straight. I won't be able to control myself. You'll get hurt," I said trying to convey to her the seriousness of what we faced.

"I'll be fine," she insisted.

Bella was so stubborn. This was the girl who faced James. Laurent. Victoria. Not to mention werewolves. She never took danger seriously and this was just another example. As much as I wanted this…wanted her…I didn't want to put her in danger. I couldn't.

"Bella…"

"Shh!" she said a split second before her lips covered mine. I let my mouth move with hers while I tried to find some way to make her realize the very real danger this posed for her.

After a minute she pulled back. As much as I wanted to try and change her mind, I knew the chances were slim. Once Bella's mind was made up on something it was nearly impossible to change. So instead I decided to change direction and asked, "How are your feet?"

She surprised me by saying in a rather firm voice, "Toasty warm."

"Really? No second thoughts? It's not too late to change your mind."

"Are you trying to ditch me?" she said indignantly.

I chuckled. She was just too cute. "Just making sure. I don't want you to do anything you're not sure about." It was said light heartedly, but I had no doubt that she knew my meaning. Tomorrow would mark the beginning of the end for her. The countdown of her human life. Although the specific date had not been set, once we were married it would only be a matter of time.

"I'm sure about you. The rest I can live through."

She said it with such surety. But with every word I felt those old doubts creeping back in. This was it, her last chance to back out.

I wouldn't blame her if she did. This life… This existence was all I could offer her. All I had. Did she really want that? Forever?

"Can you?" I asked in a near whisper. "I don't mean the wedding, which I am positive you will survive despite your qualms. But afterward…what about Renee, what about Charlie?" I needed her to think about all the things she was giving up. For me. Although I wanted it more than anything, to have her by my side for all of eternity, I wasn't worth it.

She sighed in response. "I'll miss them."

I was expecting more, but she remained silent so I continued. "Angela and Ben and Jessica and Mike."

"I'll miss my friends, too," she smiled. Then the reason for her smile became obvious as she added, "Especially Mike. Oh Mike!" she said dramatically. "How will I go on?"

The growl boiled up from my chest before I could stop it. Even knowing I was all wrong for her, that Mike would be a better choice, it was not a thought I wanted to entertain. She was mine.

Bella laughed. "Edward, we've been through this and through this. I know it will be hard, but this is what I want. I want you, and I want you forever. One lifetime is simply not enough for me."

She said it with such confidence, but how could she possibly know. How could she want to be like me? "Frozen forever at eighteen," I whispered in all seriousness.

"Every woman's dream come true," she said in a teasing voice.

I needed her to understand the seriousness of what she was choosing one last time. "Never changing…never moving forward."

That seemed to give her pause. "What does that mean?" she asked.

Then I put voice to the one thing that by being with me, by choosing me, Bella would be giving up forever. "Do you remember when we told Charlie we were getting married? And he thought you were…pregnant?"

Again she tried to make light of my comment. "And he thought about shooting you. Admit it…for one second, he honestly considered it." I remained silent. How could she make light of this? "What, Edward?"

How could I make her understand that more than anything I wish I could be human and give her a child. To see her body swell with life and knowing that she was holding a part of me. "I just wish…well, I wish that he'd been right."

"Gah," she gasped.

I knew I needed to clarify. "More that there was some way he could have been. That we had that kind of potential. I hate taking that away from you, too."

She didn't answer right away, but when she did it was with her usual determination. "I know what I'm doing."

Her response, although expected, frustrated me. "How could you know that, Bella?" I needed to make this real for her, to make her understand the severity of the situation. "Look at my mother, look at my sister. It's not as easy a sacrifice as you imagine."

"Esme and Rosalie get by just fine. If it's a problem later, we can do what Esme did…we'll adopt."

Bella said it as though it was all so simple. Why couldn't she understand?! I sighed in frustration. "It's not right! I don't want you to have to make sacrifices for me. I want to give you thinks, not take things away from you. I don't want to steal your future. If I were human…"

She didn't let me continue. Her fingers came up to cover my lips. "You are my future," she said softly. Then with more firmness she continued, "Now stop. No moping, or I'm calling your brothers to come and get you. Maybe you need a bachelor party."

Suddenly I felt horrible. These were the last few minutes we had together and we should be enjoying each other. Instead I was doing exactly what she'd said. "I'm sorry. I am moping, aren't I? Must be the nerves," I said honestly.

"Are your feet cold?" she asked.

"Not in that sense," I assured her. "I've been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan. The wedding ceremony is the one thing I can't wait…"

_Ready or not here we come, Eddie!_

Say goodbye, Edward.

"Oh, for the love of all that's holy!"

"What's wrong?" she said clearly worried.

My teeth ground together in irritation. This was going to be a long night. "You don't have to call my brothers. Apparently Emmett and Jasper are not going to let me bow out tonight."

Her arms suddenly tightened around me, but just as quickly let go. "Have fun," she said with false enthusiasm. I knew she didn't want me to go. Both of us would much rather spend the night together than anywhere else.

Seconds later I heard Emmett lightly scraping his rock hard finger nails against the glass of Bella's window. I knew it was loud enough for her to hear and wondered if it was as annoying to human ears as it was to mine. Then I felt her body shudder slightly and knew that yes, in deed, it was.

"If you don't send Edward out," Emmett teased in a falsely menacing voice, "we're coming in after him!"

Suddenly a laugh sprung forth from the woman beside me. "Go," she said. "Before they break my house."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the situation. Getting out of her bed I grabbed my shirt and shoes quickly redressing myself and preparing to leave. Standing by her bedside, I leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Get to sleep. You're got a big day tomorrow."

"Thanks!" she said with a slight hiss. "That's sure to help me wind down."

I sent her a beaming smile. "I'll meet you at the alter."

"I'll be the one in white," she said flippantly.

Bella was still not trilled about getting married. I knew that. She was doing this for me.

Not wanting to leave on a bad note I chuckled before responding to her. "Very convincing." With a final smirk in her direction, I crouched down and in one fluid motion I jumped out the window landing directly on top of Emmett.

I'd taken my aim carefully to make sure I'd land exactly where I wanted. Emmett's response was some very ungentlemanly remarks as he pushed me off him, which I ignored.

Jasper was amused by my antics. He was clearly in agreement with me that Emmett had deserved it. Then after a quick glance up towards Bella's room, he was leaping up to perch himself on the outside of her window. "Don't worry, Bella. We'll get him home in plenty of time."

I could read her worry through his thoughts. He thought they were due to concern over our leaving tonight. Knowing Bella as I did and her thoughts regarding tomorrow, I wasn't sure that was the source of her worry.

Through his mind I could see her lying in bed watching him. She did look calmer than she had only moments before, but I knew once Jasper's influence was gone so would be her peace. I tried not to let that bother me.

He smiled back at her and turned to make his descent when her voice stopped him. "Jasper?" My brother turned back to face her. "What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?"

Of course she'd ask that. Why had I not thought to tell her? It would have been one less thing for her to worry about.

"Don't tell her anything!" Emmett growled.

I was still standing close by him and took the opportunity to hit him hard enough with my shoulder to make him stumble. He managed to catch himself fairly easily, but his expression was very laughable and I found myself chuckling.

"Relax," I heard Jasper respond. "We Cullens have our own version. Just a few mountain lions, a couple of grizzly bears. Pretty much an ordinary night out." She looked calmer now as she thanked Jasper.

A second later he was back down on the ground beside me. "Ready to go?" I nodded and we all took off into the woods toward the house.

The run back was quiet for the most part. Both Emmett and Jasper were excited about the upcoming hunt. I was trying to push my still very valid concerns regarding Bella to the back of my mind.

To my surprise we did not go into the house upon our arrival, but went straight to Emmett's Jeep. I hesitated for a second. Weren't they going to say goodbye to Alice and Rose?

Jasper of course picked up on my emotions. "The girls said to have fun. Now lets get this show on the road."

I could hear Esme, Rosalie, and Alice inside our home and I knew they were aware of us outside. They were all wrapped up in their own tasks and didn't appear to be expecting us.

With a shrug I got into the Jeep. If they upset their mates by not saying a proper goodbye, that would be their problem.

"Alright!" Emmett shouted as he turned on the engine.

We drove in silence until we were outside of Forks. My brothers were thinking about the night ahead, but their thoughts were on the what, not the where. "So where exactly are we going?"

"Oh no," Jasper said turning back to face me. "You, brother, are going to be surprised tonight. Just sit back and put yourself in our hands."

Emmett laughed at that. "We have to mold and prepare you for Bella."

I knew it would do no good to respond to his comment. Pinching the bridge of my nose I sat back in my seat and closed my eyes.

Just enjoy it, Edward. You're getting married.

Jasper knew just what to say to calm me down. I was getting married. To Bella. My Bella.

The smile that covered my face caused Jasper to chuckle. "I think he's just a little happy about getting married, Emmett."

"It definitely has its advantages," Emmett said raising his eyebrows suggestively.

My instinct was to sigh and roll my eyes, but I remembered my conversation with Bella regarding her gifts. I knew I was opening myself up to further teasing, but I figured it was worth it. "Did Alice and Rose tell you about Bella's gifts?"

Both my brothers smirked. "I don't think he's talking about the anniversary album," Jasper said conspiratorially to Emmett.

She got an anniversary album? Why didn't she mention that? I'd have to ask her…

Realizing I was getting side tracked, I said, "No, I'm not talking about the anniversary album."

I let that hang in the empty air of the Jeep knowing Emmett would take the bait eventually. He didn't disappoint when forty-five seconds later he very bluntly said, "Need some help figuring out the handcuffs do you, Eddie?"

His comment was followed by a huge belly laugh. Even Jasper snickered. They were obviously having fun at my expense.

My curiosity was peeked at the mention of handcuffs, but I pushed it aside for more pressing matters.

It took a few moments for their laughter to calm down so I took the time to gather my thoughts and what specifically I wanted to ask. I thought the outcome would be better if I led them to the information I desired rather than give them free reign. "She received some…costumes." I thought about using the word outfits as she had, but instead decided on costumes instead. It was what they were after all.

"Ah," came Emmett's voice once again. "So our little Bella went straight to the good stuff," he said wagging his eyebrows again. Apparently it was going to be a regular occurrence for him for the foreseeable future.

I ignored his comment. "I was just…surprised. I hadn't been expecting her to get stuff like that."

"Why?" Jasper asked. "I mean you're getting married. Sex is naturally assumed to be part of that."

I was only vaguely paying attention to where we were headed at this point. Port Angeles had come and gone and we were now headed south. "That is true," I admitted. "I just never thought of that for Bella and myself."

The look on my brothers' faces and their thoughts were almost laughable if it hadn't been Bella they were trying to picture. Instead a low growl rumbled in my chest.

They heard my reaction, of course. Jasper had the decency to look apologetic. Emmett, however, just shrugged and turned his thoughts to Rosalie. "Emmett!"

He laughed. "Sorry, little brother. You don't get to have it both ways."

The Jeep was filled with silence for a long time after that. I wanted to ask more but I honestly didn't know how without becoming the butt of more jokes. We were just outside of Seattle when Jasper spoke up and asked, "What is it about the 'costumes' that bothers you?"

With a sigh I tried to be honest. "Wouldn't her dressing up…trying to be something that she's not…be wrong? I mean I love Bella. I want her just the way she is."

Jasper just smiled and said, "It's not wrong, Edward. Playing like that with your mate is fun."

I thought about that for several minutes. Would having Bella pretend to be a maid or a nurse be appealing? For the first time since she'd told me about it, I let myself imagine it. Although I'd not seen Bella's maid outfit, I had seen Rosalie's in Emmett's mind all those years back. I put Bella in Rose's place.

My pants started to tighten almost instantly. Maybe Jasper was right.

Nothing else was said as we made our way through the night and into the forest of the Olympic National Park. I should have guessed this was where we were going. It was the closest large hunting range in the area and we only had tonight. Traveling too far from home would have been impossible.

Emmett continued to drive for almost an hour more, taking us deep into the park before pulling off the side of the road and cutting the engine. He hopped out, his demeanor matching his thoughts. "Come on. Let's go see what's for dinner." He laughed at his own joke while Jasper and I just rolled our eyes and followed him into the trees.

We all took off at a slow run. The night closed in on us as we continued deeper into the forest. What little light made it's way through the trees would have been imperceptible to human eyes.

Emmett slowed and took a deep breath. There were several scents in the air. Most of them were of smaller animals that were not worth the effort.

Then a wicked smile crossed his face. _Wolves._

My brother was off without a second thought. Jasper was ready to follow him, but hung back when he noticed my hesitation. _What's wrong, Edward?"_

I shook my head. "Go ahead. I'll find something else."

He looked at me perplexed for a moment before realization set in. _Should I not…_

"No," I assured him. "Its just Bella will most likely ask me what I hunted and I won't lie to her." Jasper nodded and with one last glance at me he took off.

I hadn't thought about Jacob Black for many days but I couldn't help but wonder where he was at this moment. He knew Bella and I would marry tomorrow. So far he'd not returned to his home, but would he?

The fact that her best friend would not be at her wedding bothered Bella. She didn't say anything, but I knew her too well. My love could not fool me.

Closing my eyes, I opened up my senses and looked for my prey. I caught the faint scent of a cougar and took off in that direction. There would be plenty of time to contemplate Jacob Black later; right now I had more pressing matters to attend to.

My brothers and I stayed separated most of the night while we hunted. I managed to take down two cougars and an elk before hearing them racing towards me. Apparently Emmett had managed to take down a black bear. He was already giving me a play by play via my mental gift by the time they came into view.

It was still early morning, but we were all sated so we took our time making our way back to the Jeep.

The day would be perfect, just as Alice had predicted. It wasn't raining, which was a rarity in this part of the country. Muted light filtered through the trees warming the ground. Bella would have her beautiful wedding day. A human memory I hoped she would carry into her new life.

As we drew closer to the Jeep, I noticed the tone of my brothers' thoughts changing. I stopped mid stride. "What?"

"We got you a little something," Jasper said struggling not to smile.

I waited, but neither of them said more or gave anything away in their thoughts. Instead, they just kept walking leaving me to trail behind them.

My anxiety was growing as the vehicle came into view. I knew this wasn't going to be good.

Jasper made it to the vehicle first. He reached into the back and pulled out a box and handed it to me. I could tell there was more than one thing inside, and although I was reluctant to open it I knew there was no getting out of it.

Pulling the lid off, I looked inside. The first thing I noticed was what appeared to be a pair of black underwear. I picked it up and looked at it speculatively. Were these for Bella?

Emmett laughed. "There called Speedos. Since you and Bella will be on an island surrounded by water we figured you might do a little swimming."

"Um. Thanks. I think," I mumbled.

This time it was Jasper's turn to chuckle. "Seeing as how you'll be alone skinny dipping is perfectly acceptable, but knowing you you'll have some weird rule about only seeing each other naked in the bedroom." I growled playfully at my brother. Honestly, I wasn't THAT bad.

Going back to the box I found two more pairs of 'Speedos' and a deck of cards that said, '52 Sexual Possitions' across the front. There was also a bottle of warming massage oil, much like the one I'd purchased for our Seattle, trip and two bottles labeled 'personal lubricant'.

I looked up at my brothers and they were both grinning at me. "We didn't know how Bella would…well…"

Jasper didn't get to finish before Emmett jumped in. "There's one that has warming stuff in it and one that doesn't. Bella doesn't seem to mind you being cold and all but that might be a different story with your…"

"Emmett!"

He just laughed.

Jasper was giggling to, but he tried to be serious as he said, "We just wanted you to be prepared."

Although I knew part of this was my brothers giving me a hard time as brothers do, it was also their way of saying they were supporting me. Us. "Thanks," I managed to choke out.

We were all lost in the moment until Jasper's watch beeped. He walked over and slapped me on the back. "Ready to go get your bride?" I just smiled.

The ride back was filled with our normal banter. There was no other mention of what Bella and I had ahead of us. Emmett told me how much he loved Renee, which didn't surprise me. They appeared to be made from the same mental cloth.

Jasper had spent most of the drive back to the hotel Friday night talking baseball with Phil. Apparently things were going well for him and they expected to be in Jacksonville for several more years.

By the time we arrived back in Forks, it was almost two. Jasper had been assigned the task of retrieving Renee and Phil today so I knew he'd have to be heading out almost immediately upon our arrival.

Emmett parked the Jeep in the garage and my ears tuned into the one sound I'd missed while I'd been gone more than any other, Bella's heart. It beat a steady rhythm that instantly calmed me every time. Just thinking of the woman to whom it belonged sent a warm feeling from my head to my toes.

My eyes drifted up to the second floor where the evidence of her life was coming from as I walked toward the house. She was in Alice's room. I could hear Rosalie announcing our arrival, and my love's heartbeat sped faster in response. It was like a homing beacon, and I began to move towards it without conscious thought.

Only Alice's very vocal response telling Rosalie to keep me out made me stop. My sister was bound to keep us apart before the ceremony, to keep things traditional. I knew that unless I wanted a fight I would have to respect her wishes.

The thought of being in the same house as Bella for the next two and a half hours without being able to see her, touch her, was difficult. I could feel the separation, the pull between us, even more now that I knew so little was keeping us apart.

With less enthusiasm than I'd had only minutes before, I made my way to the house. The smell of thousands of flowers filled my senses even before the door opened. Esme pulled open the door and grabbed my arm ushering me inside and through the decorations. Looking around, I could see that Alice really had out did herself. It was like something out of a fairy tale.

Esme didn't release her hold on me until she had me out in the back yard. Her pretense was that she wanted my opinion on where to set the food. The woman I had considered my mother for the last eighty years couldn't fool me though. She was trying to distract me.

If I had been human, her plan may have worked. Being a vampire I was capable of dividing my attention too easily. No matter how many tables, chairs, or place settings she had me move; I was aware of every breath, every movement, taking place on the second floor of our home.

I tried, with fair success, to stay out of Alice and Rosalie's minds while they were with Bella. The only time I slipped was when I realized Bella was panicking. Instinct had me wanting to rush up the stairs. A brief flash of a nervous Bella crossed through Alice's mind before it abruptly stopped and I heard, _Stop it, Edward. You will not ruin this! _I had been seconds from forgetting Alice's rules.

A welcome distraction came when Renee and Phil arrived followed by Jasper. Renee saw me and began to tear up. Her mind was already picturing Bella and I standing side by side under the flowers that were already within her view. "Oh Edward!" she cried. "Don't you look handsome."

"Thank you, Renee."

Then she turned her attention back to Jasper. "Am I allowed to see Bella?"

My brother shot me a knowing smile and I couldn't help but chuckle. Obviously Alice's iron fist had not only been directed at me. "Of course," Jasper said offering her his arm and leading her up the staircase.

I heard Alice ask Bella if she was in need of Jasper's help to calm down and my want to defy my sister once again surged.

The doorbell rang and Emmett suddenly appeared. He opened the door with a flourish to Tanya, Kate, Carmen, and Eleazar. Tanya flashed me a quick smile, her thoughts full of curiosity regarding Bella. I was sure she was going to say something, however the doorbell rang again with more guests.

It was as if the floodgates had opened. Suddenly the house seemed to be filled with people.

I saw Charlie head quietly up the stairs and then Carlisle appeared at my side asking for me to follow him. Almost everyone we had invited was here. Everyone except Jacob Black.

Carlisle and I walked to a room in the back of the house that was rarely used. There were no people back here. No decorations.

His thoughts were blank and his demeanor reserved. Motioning for me to go in first, he closed behind us before facing me with a smile on his face.

Opening his thoughts to me I was hit by the overwhelming sense of pride he had for me. "You're getting married, Edward."

It was such a simple statement, but we both knew the intense meaning behind it. I was getting married. To my mate. I would never have to be alone again.

We stood smiling at each other for several long minutes before he said, "I suppose now is the time I should be giving you some fatherly advice."

My grin grew at this. "That would be traditional."

He laughed. "Yes it would." Carlisle paused and then became serious again, his eyes filling with emotion. "Just be happy, son. Make her smile every day."

All I could do was nod before there was a knock on the door. Reverend Webber poked his head in. "It's time."

Carlisle and I followed him out. I could not believe the nervous excitement I felt. Her heartbeat grounded me. I couldn't wait to see her.

We entered the room on the opposite side and took our places. Alice had set the room up with chairs and more flowers than any human could dream. Each chair was filled with guests. Our cousins from Denali sat just behind Esme on my side of the aisle. Bella's friends from school sat on her side along with Billy, Seth and his mother Sue.

Bella's mother and step-father sat opposite Esme on the front row. There was an empty seat left open for Charlie.

Although there was very little talk, I could hear the chatter in their minds. It ranged from curiosity regarding my bride from my vampire cousins to fear of being in the same room with so many vampires from Sue Clearwater to jealousy from Mike Newton.

The sounds of Rosalie descending the stairs caused me to push all of the idol thoughts of our guests out of my mind. I watched her make her way to the front and sit behind the piano.

She began playing the first chords of Pachelbel's Canon. I took a deep breath preparing to see Bella when I heard her heart begin to race.

"Easy, Bella," Charlie said. "She looks a little sick. Do you think she's going to make it?"

Bella's father sounded nervous. Was she alright?

Of course Carlisle had heard everything that I had and knowing me as he did, placed a restraining hand on my arm.

"She'd better," I heard my sister say. Then her voice was softer. "Focus, Bella. Edward is waiting for you down there."

I heard Bella's heartbeat take on a different tone. It was one I recognized well.

Sensing that I had calmed down and was not about to run up the stairs Carlisle released his grip on my arm. I glanced over giving him a silent thank you. He just smiled in return.

A few more words were spoken upstairs and Rosalie made the transition of songs effortlessly. "Bella?" I heard Alice ask.

"Yes. Edward. Okay," I heard Bella whisper.

And then I saw my sister glide down the staircase. Alice wore a lovely silver dress. Everyone was watching her as she made her way down the aisle to take her place at the front.

Unlike the others my gaze didn't follow Alice. It remained on the stairs. "Don't let me fall, Dad," I heard Bella say.

I heard each footstep as it fell. I counted every breath she took on her way down. Her head was lowered as she floated into my sight, but that was all it took to make me stop breathing. Bella's cheeks held the slightest hint of a blush. She was breathtaking.

Her head came up and her eyes began searching. The red on her checks deepened and even with the distance between us I could feel the burn. I took a deep breath and relished the feeling that meant her presence.

Then her brown eyes mine and I smiled. She was mine.

* * *

**End Notes:**

**For those of you who don't have me on author alert you may have missed the Jasper/Alice outtake I wrote. It picks up from Jasper's POV once he leaves Edward in the woods after their last practice session. You can find it by going to my profile. **

**Also, the next chapter will most likely take as long as this one did to get posted. Sorry, but given the length of the chapters now and what is going on in RL I just can't get them done any quicker. **

**Give me a great Christmas present and leave a review. :)**


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N:**

**Sorry this is late. I'd been hoping to have this posted by the weekend, but it just didn't happen. **

**This is the next to last chapter and covers the wedding and the reception. Enjoy. :)**

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or any of the characters.

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Her eyes showed all the warmth and love that I had grown accustom to since knowing her, and it was solely for me. I smiled back with a warmth that had started in my chest and was spreading through my body slowly, yet with raging intensity.

Bella's heartbeat picked up again, and I saw the muscles in the arm she had wrapped around her father's tighten. The small space between us seemed vast, and I couldn't help but remember the first time I saw her sitting across the cafeteria. Never in my wildest imagination could I have fathomed today back then. Never would I have thought that I would want anyone the way I wanted her. Or that she would have those same desires for me.

Through his mind I saw Charlie look first at me, and then at his daughter. The love he had for her was similar to mine in many ways. He would do anything for her. He would give his life. He would give her to me.

I had always liked Charlie. He was a good man and father. The fact that I had gained his approval meant so very much to me, and I would never be able to repay to him the honor I felt because of it. I did not deserve Bella, and never would. She was beautiful, selfless, courageous, and kind. She was everything I was not.

Bella's eyes stayed locked on mine as she walked down the isle and came to a stop in front of me. I reached out my cold hand for hers.

With unusual grace Bella's father placed her hand in mine. It was symbolic and full of deep meaning. He was passing her care to me, and I felt humbled even more than usual in that moment by the honor being bestowed upon me. I nodded to Charlie briefly before turning my full attention back to the woman at my side.

Her warm fingers laced with mine as we stood side by side in front of our family and friends. Bella's lips pulled up, widening her smile. I wanted to take her in my arms right there and never let her go, but I didn't. I couldn't. In just a matter of minutes I would be married to this wonderful creature. This was the first step in our forever.

Smiling back at her I gave her hand a squeeze, and we both took a step forward to face the minister.

Reverend Webber gave a small chuckle as he observed our interaction. He'd watched our display of love Friday on the back porch of her father's home, and had been impressed by our connection. Today he was happy to be marrying a couple that was so clearly in love and dedicated to one another. Although he had no idea the level of dedication, he seemed to approve.

His focus moved from Bella and I to those sitting behind us. "Thank you all for coming to share this day with Bella and Edward. It is a happy time when two people decide to join their lives."

"I had the opportunity to sit down with these two the other day, and was impressed by the love they freely show not only to each other but to those around them."

He continued to speak to our friends and family a little longer before turning his attention back to us. "Bella. Edward. Your friends and family are here today to witness this union between you, but it is you who are entering into this marriage. There will be ups and downs, good times and bad, but if you work together the rewards are endless."

His mind drifted to his own marriage. He meant every word he was saying.

Although I was listening to him as he went on speaking to us, my eyes were on Bella and hers on mine. We were lost in our own little world. I wasn't even sure if she was paying attention to what the minister was saying.

He talked a little more about marriage and what it meant, but I only half listened. All I wanted was to get to the vows. The ones that made her my wife.

The minister angled his body slightly to face Bella and began the words I most wanted to hear. To these I knew she was listening by the moisture in her eyes. Tears ran down her cheeks as his words came to an end and she whispered, "I do."

Her voice was full of conviction, and I felt that pressure deep in my chest as my own emotions bubbled to the surface. I knew that if I could cry I would be doing so now. She was mine. Forever.

"Edward?" Reverend Webber said, drawing my attention back to him.

When he was sure I was listening he continued. "Edward, do you take Isabella, to be your wife."

Her eyes filled with fresh tears as the minister went on. "To have and to hold from this day forward."

I tried to convey to her with my eyes just how seriously I took those words. Every single one.

"For better or for worse."

Those words meant more to us than any other couple in history.

"For richer, for poorer."

She would never want for any material thing again. Whatever she wished, it would be hers.

"In sickness and in health."

I would love her however she would have me.

"To love and to cherish."

My only love. My mate.

"For as long as you both shall live."

Forever.

"I do," I answered.

All I could do was look at her. The people around us, and the chatter of their minds were just background noise to me. She was my only focus.

It was only movement from Alice behind Bella combined with Carlisle clearing his throat that got my attention. _The rings, Edward._

I felt slightly embarrassed. How could I have forgotten the rings?

I turned a fraction towards him and Carlisle handed me Bella's ring. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Bella doing the same with Alice.

Reverend Webber thoughts held amusement as he watched this exchange take place. He hadn't missed the fact that Bella and I had been so engrossed in each other that we'd forgotten about anything else.

We turned back to each other and the minister instructed her to take my left hand and place the ring upon my finger. "Isabella, repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed."

The tears flowed even faster as she said the words, and I wanted so desperately to kiss those tears away.

Then it was my turn. I took Isabella's hand and repeated the words to her. "With this ring, I thee wed."

"By the power vested in me by the state of Washington, I now pronounce you husband and wife," he said clearly for all those in attendance to hear. Then a little softer, specifically to me, he said, "You may kiss your bride."

I released her hands and stepped closer, closing the small distance between us. My palms gently cupped her face. My wife.

Her eyes shown with a happiness that was mirrored back in mine as I leaned down to press my lips against hers. I felt her rise up on her delicate frame trying to close the remaining space between us. And in a move very much like that of our first kiss beside her truck, her arms wrapped around my neck and held me.

I tried to keep the kiss chaste. We rarely kissed like this in front of others, and today we had over twenty witnesses.

Bella seemed oblivious to the crowd, however, as she pressed her lips harder against mine. I could hear throats being cleared along with silent cheers of approval from my brothers. I knew we had to stop, and so reluctantly I pulled back.

Looking into her flushed face I could barely contain my joy. This woman loved me. Wanted me. This woman was mine. My wife. There were no words for how I felt with that knowledge.

Reverend Webber announced us as Mr. and Mrs. Edward Anthony Cullen, and our audience applauded. I knew we needed to do our duty and attend to our guests, so reluctantly I turned us to face them.

The first person to reach us was Esme. She hugged me, then Bella. It was slightly awkward as I refused to release Bella's hand from mine.

Renee, Phil, and Charlie were next. And then everyone else in attendance fell into place after them. The congratulations were rushed as everyone stopped long enough for a quick hug or handshake before Alice began ushering them out into the back yard.

The man I'd considered my father for the last eighty years hung back and allowed everyone else their opportunity before coming to stand in front of us placing a hand on my shoulder. He looked first to Bella and then to me. "You couldn't have done better, son." Then he moved to Bella and hugged her. "Welcome to the family, Bella."

A beautiful blush covered her features. "Thank you, Carlisle."

And then we were alone.

I turned to face her taking her other hand in mine. "Are you ready, Mrs. Cullen?"

There was only a moment's pause before her face lit up with the most magnificent smile. "Most definitely, Mr. Cullen."

Giving her arms a gentle tug, I bent down and pressed another soft kiss to her lips. "I love you," I whispered.

"I love you, Edward," she whispered back.

We walked hand in hand out to the backyard where Alice had not only done an impeccable job decorating, but also arranging the timing of it all. It was twilight. And as I'd told Bella at the start of our relationship, it was the safest time of day for the vampires in attendance. But with lights placed strategically around the area, it created a magical scene for both human and vampire. Alice had truly outdone herself.

For the first time since seeing Bella walk down the staircase, I let the voices filter back in. They were no longer the din in the background.

Everyone gave us their attention, some of them applauding again, as we walked out and made our way over to the table Alice had set up with special place settings for the bride and groom. Carlisle and Alice also had places at the table even though the only one who would be eating was Bella.

There was a buffet set up with food about ten feet away from our table. The way it was arranged would make it so that everyone would have to pass by us on their way to the buffet.

People were mingled about the area talking. The humans stuck close together and on the opposite side of the area than that of the vampires. I noticed Jasper moving along the edges with a rather expensive looking camera taking pictures. My sister had thought of everything.

The first person to approach us was Seth Clearwater. He wore a huge smile on his face and his joy was genuine. He was truly happy for us. "Congrats, guys."

Seth's mother and Billy Black had joined him in his crossing over into hostile territory. Billy's thoughts were mixed with resignation and even a small amount of happiness for Bella.

He knew what our marriage would most likely mean for our relations with his tribe. But he was also aware that Bella's happiness was real. Billy Black had seen first hand what our separation was like for her. He also knew that neither my family nor I was forcing her into anything. His view on our relationship had changed almost as much as Charlie's had.

The woman standing on the other side of Seth was a completely different story. Sue Clearwater was a bundle of nerves. Her eyes were wary. And her heart rate was higher than normal showing her fear.

Seth closed the distance between us and hugged me. I gladly hugged him back as I read the repulsion in his mother's mind. I saw her shiver as her son's skin and mine made contact.

"It's good to see things work out for you, man. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you, Seth," I said stepping back. "That means a lot to me." He would never know how much. His innocence combined with his sincerity was refreshing.

I turned to address his companions. "Thank you, as well. For letting Seth come. For supporting Bella today." They were not here for me.

Sue remained silent. In her mind, the only thought was to when she could safely escape and not be overly rude.

Billy, however, answered, "You're welcome.

The three said a quick goodbye and moved on towards the food. But in their wake was a line of others waiting to offer extended congratulations.

Angela and Ben stepped up next. Both of them offered heartfelt congratulations to both Bella and I.

Reverend Webber and his wife followed behind them, and then Mike and Jessica. Mike's thoughts focused on me. He was still trying to figure out what I had that he had not possessed. I found this amusing considering that he was here with Jessica.

For her part Bella's friend's thoughts were neutral. It seems that she had finally accepted that Bella and I would not be separated.

As Mike and Jessica moved along, Tanya, Kate, Carmen, and Eleazar took their place. All of their minds were still very curious about the woman at my side, but it was Tanya's mind I was currently focusing on.

Her eyes roamed over Bella's features. Although she thought that for a human, my love was pretty, she didn't see, couldn't pinpoint what could be so special about her.

Then she reached out and hugged me. _I guess this means that I have to keep looking doesn't it._

Her grip tightened. "Ah, Edward. I've missed you."

As soon as Tanya touched me, I felt Bella stiffen. She was observant. It wouldn't take too much deduction to figure out which of the visiting vampires happened to be Tanya.

I chuckled slightly and maneuvered out of her gasp placing a hand on her shoulder to keep a measured distance between us. Glancing over her features innocently I commented, "It's been too long, Tanya." Bella's hand squeezed mine. "You look well."

She smiled. Only I could tell that it wasn't totally authentic. "So do you." Tanya meant the words however, no matter her disappointment. It was obvious to all of my cousins just how much happier I was.

I took a half step closer to Bella so that our arms were now touching as well as our hands. "Let me introduce you to my wife." Just saying it out loud gave me such enormous pleasure and sent a pleasant shiver through body.

Looking down at Bella I gave her that crooked smile that I knew she loved. "Tanya, this is my Bella," I said reverently.

My cousin's eyes looked Bella over again still trying to find out what it was about her that had made me choose her. But if Tanya was anything, she was gracious. "Welcome to the family, Bella," she smiled, although it did not reach her golden eyes. "We consider ourselves Carlisle's extended family, and I am sorry about the, er, recent incident when we did not behave as such. We should have met you sooner. Can you forgive us?"

And knowing my love as I did, I knew exactly what her response would be. "Of course. It's so nice to meet you."

Mentally Tanya was shaking her head. Bella was a complete mystery to her as she had been to me for so long. I had to stifle my amusement.

But instead of continuing down that path of thought, Tanya turned to Kate and said, "The Cullens are all evened up in numbers now. Perhaps it will be our turn next, eh, Kate?" she grinned. It was the first true smile she'd given since walking up to us.

Kate was more laid back. She'd never seen me as anything but her cousin so her curiosity pertaining to Bella was totally different. My cousin rolled her eyes at her sister. "Keep the dream alive."

Then without pause she turned her attention to Bella. "Welcome, Bella."

Carmen stepped up next with Eleazar directly at her side. "I'm Carmen, this is Eleazar. We're all so very pleased to finally meet you."

"M-me, too," Bella stuttered. I could tell she was starting to get overwhelmed by all the attention, and we still had quite a few more people to go.

Tanya's eyes settled on the nervous looking humans waiting behind her before turning back to us. "We'll get to know each other later. We'll have eons of time for that!" she laughed as she lead the four vampires over to get some food from the buffet that they wouldn't be eating.

We spoke to all the other guests one by one as they came up to us. Bella had shifted on her feet several times. She didn't like all this attention.

Once we had a moment alone again I ushered her over to get some food. We each got a plate and then headed back to our table.

Bella's eyes roamed the area as she nibbled on her food. Her face held an unreadable expression, and once again I wished I could read her thoughts. Instead I whispered, "Is the food not good?"

She jumped a little. "What? Oh. No. I'm mean yes, it's good." Then her brow crinkled a little. "Why?"

I reached up to brush the side of her face with the back of my hand feeling her warmth spread through me as I did.. "You seem distracted about something."

"Oh," she said and then paused for a moment before smiling back at me. "I was just thinking about…diversity."

I couldn't help but smile. I knew exactly what she was talking about. Who would have ever thought there would be a wedding between a human and a vampire that would be attended by humans, vampires, and a werewolf. "Diversity is good."

"Yes. Did you ever think something like this was possible?"

We were speaking in hushed tones, but all the vampires and our one werewolf guest were privy to our conversation. "No. But before meeting you, love, I did not believe many things were possible." A beautiful smile graced her face as she blushed.

As we sat smiling at each other, someone used their silverware to tap on their glass. We both heard it and it just made us smile wider. Leaning in to her I made sure my teeth were completely covered as our lips met.

The kiss was simple and chaste. When I pulled back to look into her eyes they were sparkling. I couldn't help but close the distance between us once more and capture her lips a second time.

This time we lingered a little more enjoying to movement and feel of each other. Everyone was watching us with varying thoughts. I tuned them out. All I wanted to focus on was my Bella.

When we parted, I glanced down at her plate. "You should eat, love."

She threaded her fingers through mine and then turned back to her food. I picked up my fork and moved some things around on my plate.

Periodically I would scan through the thoughts of our guests. Although I knew that on this day my family would not require it of me, monitoring the thoughts of those who could be a potential threat was a habit not easily changed.

When I looked over at my bride again I noticed Bella still wasn't eating as she should. The expression on her face was one of happiness, but she was more focused on her surroundings than the fare in front of her.

She still needed to eat though. We would be on a plane for almost twenty-four hours. I could not say this for a fact, of course, but from the information I'd gathered food on airplanes and in airports was not of the highest caliber.

With sudden inspiration I loaded some food onto my fork and turned to her. "Bella?"

She looked over to me. Her eyes fell to the fork in my hand before coming back up to find mine. A small smile pulled at her lips and her mouth opened slightly.

Throughout our time together I had never before fed Bella. But as her mouth closed around the simple metal utensil I felt my body stir in a very familiar way. One I had experienced many times in the last month.

I swallowed and took a deep breath as I pulled the fork away. Her tongue slipped through her delicate lips to remove a small amount of sauce that lingered there.

My body tensed.

Bella leaned into me and I concentrated on the burn in my throat rather than act on the impulses running through my brain. Her warm breath caressed my cheek as she whispered in my ear. "Thank you."

It was such a simple phrase, however, the way Bella said it took away its innocence. She seemed to have finally accepted what she was able to do to me and was enjoying every minute of it.

Thankfully Alice took that moment to appear in front of us. Bella sat back in her chair, but I didn't miss the slight pout of disappointment covering her features. She had been enjoying her game.

"It's time to cut the cake," she said excitedly rubbing her hands together.

Standing fluidly, I offered Bella my hand. She took it and stood.

Alice had a beautiful three tiered cake made. I'd seen in her mind that she wished it had been bigger, more extravagant, but she'd reined herself in due to practicality and also because it was Bella. She knew my love would not want something too over the top.

We stood side by side behind the cake. I picked up the knife and Bella placed her hand over mine. Jasper, along with others who'd brought their cameras, took picture after picture as we cut into the cake and I place one single slice on a plate.

Bella's eyes held concern for me when she realized that I had every intention of eating the traditional bite of cake that she would be giving me. We each took a small amount of the desert from the plate and faced each other.

Our hands reached the other's lips only a second apart. She opened her mouth to accept hers, and once again I was held fascinated as her soft warm flesh grazed my fingers.

My own lips surrounded the confection she was offering. Bella knew to keep her fingers outside of my mouth, so she instead just pressed with the smallest ounce of pressure to put the piece inside.

The foul taste that past through my mouth and down my throat was only a small distraction from the woman in front of me. I was still having difficulty with the concept that she was truly and completely mine. Bella smiled up at me and gave me a chaste kiss as more pictures were taken.

Then Alice was at Bella's side pulling her to the center of the activities. The single women all took their places and my love threw the bouquet over her head. In traditional Bella fashion, however, it went more to the side than behind her and ended up landing in the hands of an unsuspecting Angela.

After everyone had congratulated a still stunned Angela, Alice instructed my love to sit in the chair Emmett had placed there only seconds before. It seemed that my sister was making sure that all the traditions were kept.

Bella sat down as instructed. As I approached my wife to remove her garter out from under her dress, Alice reminded me that I had to use my mouth. It was tradition.

I placed my hands on either side of her hips as I kneeled in front of her and was very grateful at that moment for all the practice we'd done. My right hand reached for the hem of her dress and lifted it slightly so that I could place my head underneath the layers of fabric.

She was wearing white stockings that reached her thighs, and at the very top sat a lace garter. Her scent was strong as I wrapped my lips around the delicate lace and began moving it down her leg.

I heard a sharp intake of breath as I neared her knee. At first I thought maybe I'd done something wrong, but then I smelled a sweet fragrance coming from the juncture of her legs and tucked that piece of knowledge away for future use instead.

Once I got the garter clear of her body, all the single men lined up as per tradition. After a quick wink at Bella, I shot it over my shoulder and into the crowd directly into the face of Mike Newton.

Esme and Alice took positions near the cake and began putting slices onto plates while I guided Bella to the center of what made up the dance floor and took her into my arms as the music started.

A small sigh left Bella's lips my arms wrapped around her. I began to move us with easy grace around the small dance floor. Neither one of us spoke for the longest time as we moved. And although I was aware of both the mental and verbal musings of those surrounding us, she was my only focus.

Her face was full of a happiness and peace that I rarely saw when we were around others. I pulled her closer and brought my mouth to her ear. "Enjoying the party, Mrs. Cullen?"

She laughed and I felt a shiver of pleasure run through me. I couldn't tell if my reaction had more to do with her joy or the feel of her breath against my cold skin. "That will take a while to get used to."

"We have a while," I said trying to convey to her through my words just how happy I was about that fact.

The song came to an end and I heard Charlie heading towards us. He wanted to dance with his daughter. I felt him tap on my shoulder, and I quickly moved away to give him what he wanted. There was no way I could deny him such a simple request.

Moving away from Bella I was met by Esme. "I do believe that the mother gets a dance with her son," she smiled up at me.

"Of course," I said as I took her arm and let her back out onto the floor.

As Esme and I moved to the music, I could hear the conversation between Bella and her father. I didn't need to see her face or be able to read her thoughts to know the conversation she was having with him was difficult for her. He thought she was just going away to college. That he would see her again at Thanksgiving and Christmas. He had no idea that this would mostly likely be the last he saw of his little girl.

My mother brought me back out of my musings. "It's what she wants."

I answered honestly. "I know."

When the song finished Alice appeared insisting that I dance with her as well. And although I wanted to get back to Bella, I noticed another dance partner had already taken her father's place.

After Alice there was Tanya, Kate, and Carmen. Jessica was debating whether or not to approach me when I noticed Mike Newton ask Bella to dance.

I tried to stay calm as I listened to his thoughts. Bella was mine and although I knew beyond doubt that she had no feelings for Newton, I did not enjoy the tone of his thoughts as he appraised the way my wife looked in her wedding dress.

A growl started to make itself known in my chest as I blocked out everything except getting to Bella's side. I knew my family was watching me closely as I moved around a few other guests that were dancing.

As politely as I could, I inserted myself between Bella and Newton. He wasn't happy about it, but after the glare I shot his way he cowered to Jessica's side.

"Still not that found of Mike, eh?" Bella asked with obvious amusement as we began to dance to the new song.

"Not when I have to listen to his thoughts," I answered her. "He's lucky I didn't kick him out. Or worse," I added.

"Yeah, right," she said in disbelief. Why was it that this woman could not see her own appeal?

"Have you had a chance to look at yourself?"

"Um. No, I guess not," she answered a little shyly. "Why?"

Unbelievable. Did Alice not have her look in the mirror before she came downstairs? "Then I suppose you don't realize how utterly, heartbreakingly beautiful you are tonight. I'm not surprised Mike's having difficulty with improper thoughts about a married woman. I am disappointed that Alice didn't make sure you were forced to look in a mirror."

As soon as the words left my mouth, Alice was quick to defend herself. _You're lucky I got her downstairs._

I ignored her.

Bella looked up at me furrowing her brow. "You are very biased, you know."

She was unbelievable. Sighing, I placed my hands on her shoulders and turned her to face the glass walls of the house. "Biased, am I?"

Through the glass I could see her eyes travel over our figures. I knew the moment she comprehended that she was the beauty at which she was looking. Alice had done well. The dress. The hair. The make-up. Everything was perfect.

I was so lost in the beauty that was my wife that I would have missed the new additions had one not shouted my name in his mind. Jacob. My body stiffened. He was not alone.

I thought Bells might like a surprise wedding gift.

"Oh!" I said as I pondered that. Looking down at my Bella I knew he was right. She would love this wedding gift.

She was looking up at me with clear question on her face. "What is it?"

I smiled wider. "A surprise wedding gift."

"Huh?" she asked confused.

Instead of answering her, I pulled her back into my arms and started dancing again. Moving us across the floor, I brought us to the opposite edge of the trees and continued on until we were hidden from our guests. When I brought us to a stop Jacob was in sight.

"Thank you," I said and I meant it. No matter what my feelings regarding Jacob, Bella would be happy and that was all that mattered. "This is very…kind of you."

"Kind is my middle name."

I realized the moment Bella reacted in my arms that she had not noticed Jacob until he'd spoken. "Can I cut in?" he asked more to her than to me.

Bella gasped and her hand reached for her throat just as her legs began to give. I held her tighter to keep her from falling. "Jacob!" she exclaimed. "Jacob!"

"Hey there, Bells," he answered in a casual tone. He was nervous, but he was hiding it well. For her.

She pulled away from me, but I wouldn't let go of her entirely. I was too afraid she'd trip on the uneven ground. It felt wrong to pass her over to Jacob's care, even for a little while, but I did it. Again it was all for her.

I watched as Jacob's arms circle around her and had to fight the urge to take her back. "Rosalie won't forgive me if she doesn't get her official turn on the dance floor, " I muttered in way of dismissing myself. As I walked away I heard her say his name through her tears, and I felt that all to familiar pain in my chest.

Ignoring it, I kept walking until I'd found my sister. She walked with me to the dance floor and we began to dance.

Our movements to those without the knowledge of what was happening just beyond would have looked fluid and graceful. To those, however, that were aware it was obvious that neither of us were enjoying the dance.

I had mixed feelings about listening in on Bella and Jacob's conversation. In a way, it felt like I was violating Bella's privacy. But I couldn't totally turn off my curiosity. Or my protective nature.

The song had changed, and so had my partner. Tanya had claimed me for another dance, but was wisely keeping her thoughts and comments silent given the close proximity of the wolves.

Jasper had been monitoring the emotional flavor of the party the entire night but had turned his focus to the trees once Bella and I had disappeared through them to meet Jacob. All at once both of our heads turned toward the secret conversation in the woods.

Suddenly things between Bella and Jacob were not so friendly.

I didn't even mumble an excuse as I released Tanya and tried to calmly make my way back to Bella. It was a more difficult task than usual given the circumstances. Drawing attention to what was going on several yards out of sight would not create a pleasant outcome for anyone.

Once I was out of view from the humans in attendance, I raced to Bella's side. When I reached her Jacobs hands were gripping her shoulders and his entire body was vibrating. He was having trouble keeping it together. I could hear him struggling in his mind trying to keep the change from happening.

"Take your hands off her!" I hissed.

Sam and a few others were just beyond in the trees and they gave a low snarl in response. It was a mixer of warning to both Jacob and myself, but it held no meaning to me. Bella was in danger and I would do all I could to protect her treaty or not.

Suddenly Seth appeared through the trees and came to stand beside Jacob. He was a wolf was well so if Jacob shifted while he was close his injuries would heal. Eventually. Bella would not be so lucky. I would not have this!

"Jake, bro, back away," Seth pleaded. "You'll hurt her," he tried again. "Let her go."

I couldn't just stand there anymore. If I didn't think that forcibly removing her from his grasp would harm her, I would have done so already. "Now!" I growled.

Finally Jacob's hands left her arms. I pulled her into my chest a split second before putting some much needed distance between her and the dog that had hurt her so many times in the past, and had almost caused her permanent damage.

Once I was sure she wasn't going to fall, I placed her protectively behind me. He would not hurt her as long as I was here to protect her.

But when I turned back around there were two wolves standing between us. They were trying to push Jacob back into the trees, but he was resisting. In his mind he was shouting at me. Cursing me for the damage that he was sure I would do to her.

"C'mon, Jake," Seth said still pleading with Jacob. "Let's go."

"I'll kill you," Jacob spat at me. "I'll kill you myself! I'll do it now!"

He was still on the verge of shifting. Sam and Embry were trying their best to get him to move, but Jacob was holding his ground.

Seth was standing too close for my comfort. Although Jacob changing so close wouldn't kill him, it could cause him significant damage and definitely pain. I didn't want that for him. "Seth," I hissed. "Get out of the way."

My own plea was ignored however, as Seth continued to tug on Jacobs arm. Eventually his efforts were rewarded as Jacob moved backwards slightly. "Don't do it, Jake. Walk away. C'mon," Seth tried again.

Finally Sam had had enough of persuasion and placed his head in the center of Jacob's chest. Jacob's massive form moved against its own violation.

Eventually the two wolves and Seth managed to get Jacob away and I relaxed a little. The wolf named Quil took a few steps toward us. He was bewildered by what he'd both overheard and witnessed. There was no doubt that he agreed with Jacob's feelings regarding our plans to consummate our relationship, but he was also determined that their tribe would not be the ones to break the treaty.

Bella's soft voice broke my concentration on the wolf in front of us. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Of course my love would take the responsibility for Jacob's immature reaction on herself. I pulled her closer into my embrace and let my lips linger near her temple. "It's all right now, Bella."

Quil continued to give me a cold stare, as he made sure that I did not miss what he was trying to tell me next. I didn't. If any harm came to Bella they would retaliate.

Finally he moved away, back into the woods disappearing along with the others from sight. "Alight," I said to no one in particular and everyone at the same time. Then I looked down at Bella. "Let's get back."

She held her ground. "But Jake…"

"Sam has him in hand," I assured her. "He's gone."

At last, she allowed me to begin guiding her slowly back toward our guests. "Edward, I'm so sorry," she began. "I was stupid…"

I cut her off. "You did nothing wrong…"

"I have such a big mouth!" she insisted. "Why would I…I shouldn't have let him get to me like that. What was I thinking?"

She had been defending me, just like always. Defending the monster that I am. "Don't worry," I said reaching up to touch her face, trying to sooth her. "We need to get back to the reception before someone notices our absence."

I began ushering her the final steps through the trees and onto the makeshift dance floor, but her hand tightened on my arm stopping me. "Give me two seconds," she pleaded.

Bella looked down as if taking inventory of her appearance. "My dress?" she asked.

"You look fine," I assured her. "Not a hair out of place."

She inhaled and then released two deep breaths. "Okay. Let's go."

Circling my arms around her and pulling her body once again against me, I moved us back into position on the dance floor. All of the vampires in attendance were a little too ridge to be natural. My brother's were still on guard, and Carlisle and Esme's faces held obvious concern. They'd overheard the entire confrontation and were worried about Bella. With a slight nod of my head, I let them know that everything was alright.

Well as right as it could be. "Are you…" I began.

"I'm fine," she said again. "I can't believe I did that. What's wrong with me?"

In typical Bella fashion, my love was accepting the blame for something that was not her fault. "Nothing is wrong with you," I said emphasizing the you.

A change seemed to occur in her face, and a part of me was hopeful that Jacob had changed her mind about what we'd planed to attempt on our honeymoon. I should have known better.

"It's over," she said. "Let's not think of it again tonight."

Her tone was of dismissal and fake enthusiasm and I frowned. She noticed. "Edward?"

I closed my eyes and bent to touch my forehead to hers. "Jacob is right," I whispered." Those three words caused me physical pain to say. "What am I thinking?"

"He is not," she said defiantly. "Jacob is way too prejudiced to see anything clearly."

That may be the case, but that didn't make him wrong. "I should let him kill me for even thinking about attempting something like this."

"Stop it!" she said with venom. Her hands came up and took hold of my face, pressing until I opened my eyes to look at her. "You and me. That's the only thing that matters. The only thing you're allowed to think about now. Do you hear me?"

I knew it was no use arguing with her, and I didn't want to. "Yes," I sighed.

"Forget Jacob came. For me. Promise that you'll let this go."

She wanted me to promise. To forget that Jacob had once again brought to the surface all my doubts. She wanted me to promise that this day would not be tainted by the man who had tried to take her away from me even though he's anger, his fear, was well placed.

But I would. For her. Only for her. "I promise."

"Thank you," she whispered. "Edward, I'm not afraid."

"I am," I whispered back.

"Don't be," she said with a self-assurance I wished I possessed. Then she took a deep breath and smiled the most beautiful smile at me. "By the way, I love you."

There was no way I could not return her smile. "That's why we're here."

We were lost in a spell that was suddenly broken by my bear of a brother. "You're monopolizing the bride. Let me dance with my little sister. This could be my last chance to make her blush."

I stepped aside allowing Emmett his time with her. Although I knew my family was hoping that things went well for us on our honeymoon, they all knew the risks.

Before I'd gotten far, Jessica Stanley finally got up the nerve to ask for a dance with me. It was a testament to how distracted I was since I couldn't think of a plausible reason to deny her.

Over the course of the next hour, I quite literally danced with every female in attendance with the exception of Sue Clearwater. She was sticking close to Billy Black's side more frightened now that her son, the lone werewolf in attendance, had left with the pack.

Eventually, I needed to feel Bella in my arms again instead of just seeing her. I needed to feel the reassurance that everything was just as it should be. That we belonged together. My world was a much better place when Bella was in my embrace.

Bella settled into my arms easily and laid her head on my hard chest. I tightened my arms around her wanting her to know through touch just exactly how lost I would be without her.

"I could get used to this," I heard her mumble.

My shock came through in my voice at her statement. "Don't tell me you've gotten over your dancing issues?"

She sighed and I felt her warm breath even through my clothes. "Dancing isn't so bad…with you. But I was thinking more of this." Her arms tightened around my stone body. "of never having to let you go," she whispered.

The pleasure of those words was unbelievable to me. "Never," I vowed bending down to capture her lips with mine.

At that moment everyone around us disappeared and became barely a hum in the back of my mind. The kiss began slowly with just a soft movement of our mouths. Bella's body pressed into mine as her fingers came up to tangle in my hair.

Her lips pressed against mine in earnest, and I kissed her back with equal passion. My arms tightened around her as my hands began to snake up her back.

My shear bliss was interrupted by my sister's nagging voice. "Bella! It's time!"

I ignored her and kept kissing my Bella increasing the pressure, my love's heart speed in response encouraging me.

Of course, my sister would not be deterred. "Do you want to miss your plane?" she asked. "I'm sure you'll have a lovely honeymoon camped out in the airport waiting for another flight."

Like I'd allow that to happen. I'd charter a private flight first.

I turned my face enough to speak to my sister. "Go away, Alice," I mumbled before going right back to kissing my wife.

Alice acted as if I had not spoken. "Bella, do you want to wear that dress on the airplane?"

My sister's voice was harsh. She was determined to part us one way or another so this time she directed her comment to me. "I'll tell her where you're taking her, Edward. So help me, I will."

I froze. Alice didn't make idol threats, and I could tell in her mind she was serious.

Easing myself away from the one person I wanted in the entire world, I glared at my sister. "You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating."

She stood her ground of course. "I didn't pick out the perfect going-away dress to have it wasted," she said grabbing Bella's hand before either of us could reply. "Come with me, Bella."

My love was resisting. Bella looked at me for help. And although I didn't want her to go, I knew that the sooner she changed the faster we would be able to leave. I gave her a half smile that hopefully said how disappointed I was as well that our kiss had been cut short.

There were several giggles heard from our guests, and more than a few amused thoughts as Bella finally allowed Alice to pull her away and into the house.

As I watched Alice and Bella disappear, the male members of my family joined me.

_Are you ready for this?_

_How are you feeling, son? _

The countdown begins.

This last, of course, was from Emmett. To him my induction into manhood, as he so eloquently put it, was the only thing to focus on.

I knew Jasper could feel both the excitement and the nervousness rolling off me, but there was nothing to be done about either currently. We needed to say our goodbyes. But first, I needed to get changed myself.

Heading into the house and up the stairs, I bypassed Alice's room where Bella was getting ready and headed to mine on the third floor. I took my time changing my clothes and made a brief stop in the bathroom to rid myself of the little bit of cake I'd ingested. Downstairs Renee was trying her best not to break down in tears in front of her daughter. For my love's sake, I hoped Renee could keep that promise to herself. Bella didn't need anything else to make her feel worse about marrying me and saying goodbye to her family.

Coming down the stairs from my room I overheard the conversation still occurring among the ladies. It saddened me when Bella had to skillfully avoid her mother's invitation for us to visit.

I was waiting at the bottom of the stairs when Bella appeared. She was wearing a deep blue pants suite that fit her perfectly. Her hair was cascading down her shoulders. It took everything I had not to race up the stairs to her side.

When Bella drew close, I offered her my hand. Her fingers landed in mine with a natural ease and I wrapped my cold hand around hers before guiding her towards the crowd waiting to see us off.

Bella's eyes began searching the crowd. "Dad?"

I leaned in. "Over here," I said leading her to the far wall.

Charlie was not dealing with this as well as he'd hoped. He was going to miss her terribly, and I once again felt that pain in my chest at the reminder of all she was giving up for me.

Bella's hand fell from mine as she hugged her father. "Oh, Dad!"

"There, now. You don't want to miss your plane."

Charlie was trying to be strong and not show his emotion. He didn't realize just how perceptive his daughter was.

And then I heard the words that were almost my undoing from my Bella. "I love you forever, Dad. Don't forget that."

"You, too, Bella. Always have, always will."

They kissed each other on the cheek, and then she stepped back beside me taking my hand once again. "Call me," Charlie added.

"Soon," Bella promised.

"Go on, then," Charlie choked out. "Don't want to be late."

Stepping back, I guided her through the guests keeping her close to me. We moved towards the front door where the car was waiting. Before we stepped out, I leaned down to ask her one last time. "Are you ready?"

She met my eyes with conviction. "I am."

To everyone else, the exchange would have seemed innocent enough but we both knew what I was asking. So with a final nod, we headed for the car getting covered in rice.

I tried to keep most of it from her, but with almost half our guests being vampires with perfect aim that was impossible. Emmett was personally determined to make every throw count.

Once I managed to get both of us inside the car, I headed down the drive and out to the highway.

Completely alone for the first time in almost twenty-four hours, I squeezed her hand to get her attention. I needed to know she was alright. "I love you."

She responded by laying her head against my arm. "That's why we're here," she said repeating my words from earlier.

I placed a kiss on the top of her hair and pressed down on the accelerator as we left Forks and all of its complications behind.

* * *

**End Notes:**

**Not sure when the last chapter will be up, but I'll post it as soon as it's ready. **

**There are a lot of readers for this story but I don't hear from many of you. Click the little button and let me know what you think of my version of their wedding. :)**

**If any of you are intersted in following my boring self on twitter, you can find me under ekimmuh. **


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N:**

**Okay, this is it. The final chapter. **

**I know that this is a little later than I'd planned, but I refuse to just write a chapter to write it. **

**With that said, I hope you all enjoy this last chapter of Perspective. **

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or any of the characters.

* * *

Bella fell asleep on the drive to Seattle. It had been a long day and I knew she was tired. The car was filled with our scents mingled together and I reveled once again in the knowledge that she was my wife.

Her eyes opened as I found a place to park in long-term parking, and after a few minutes she was fully alert again. She held my hand as we made our way first to the ticket counter and then through security all the while taking in our surroundings. I knew she was still trying to figure out where I was taking her, and looking for clues.

My love was always curious, but I couldn't feel anything but grateful for that fact. It was because of her curiosity and her perception that she'd been able to figure out what I was. She was able to bring down that wall of mystery between us that kept us from truly knowing each other. Her courage still left me in awe.

When we reached the gate Bella turned and raised her eyes in question to me. "Houston?"

I couldn't help the grin that pulled at my face when I answered her with a simple, "Just a stop along the way."

My answer didn't amuse her. Her lip jutted out in a little pout that made me want to pull her into my arms and kiss her; to hold that bottom lip of hers within mine and feel its softness. But just as I was about to follow through on my desires, I heard the desk attendant moving to begin the boarding call. The urge would just have to wait for a later opportunity.

Once we were settled into our seats and the plane was in the air climbing toward cruising altitude, I placed my arm around her and she pressed herself against me resting her head in the hard crook of my neck. She took a deep breath and smiled. "Thank you, husband."

Hearing her say that had me beaming. "You're welcome, my wife. But what, may I ask, are you thanking me for?"

She moved a little in my arms trying to get comfortable and gazed my neck with the tip of her nose, inhaling deeply. "For everything," she answered.

I brought my finger up under her chin, adjusting her face so that I could see it. Her eyes were looking up at me with the utmost sincerity and love. "You have no need to thank me, love," I said, bending down and touching my lips to hers adding a gentle tug to her bottom lip before releasing it. "My world is perfect with you in it."

Bella smiled against my mouth as I continued to graze my lips against hers. "So is mine."

The flight attendant appeared asking if we'd like anything to drink. After handing Bella a small water, we were once again left alone. Bella took a quick drink of the liquid and placed it on the small tray in front of her. Then she resumed her place against me.

It didn't take long for her body to be once again claimed to sleep. As I held her, I let my mind drift back over our time together. Every smile. Every kiss. Everything that led up to her becoming my wife today.

Something far beyond myself had granted her to me. I didn't know who or what it was, but I would be eternally grateful. My life had been but a shell before she entered it.

It was still dark when we landed in Houston to change planes. I tried to wake Bella. And although her eyes did open, I still had to keep an arm around her at all times.

I moved us through the airport. There weren't a lot of people around this early in the morning, which meant that I didn't have to try and avoid touching people inadvertently. The downside, however, was that the people who were around took more notice of us.

Their minds quickly took in the differences between Bella and I. Most of the women were envious as they noticed how we clung to one another, as we walked. Not one of them could fathom the depth of Bella's beauty. The men paid less attention, but a few made their observations as well.

What left the deepest impression, however, was the complete lack of fear. I saw myself through their minds. They in no way registered my inhumanness. And even as I smiled at this, no fear registered in their minds. Bella truly had made me more human. With her, I was no longer just a thing. I was a person.

We stepped up to the international counter and I gave our names. As soon as the man behind the counter said 'Rio de Janeiro', Bella's head perked up and her eyes searched mine. "Rio de Janeiro?" she asked in a slightly shaky voice.

I tried to keep my voice light. "Another stop."

There was no way of knowing how she would react to the island. Bella was unpredictable. Normally I would say that she'd throw a fit at the extravagance, but she had been better lately with accepting gifts.

Bella fell asleep again shortly after take off with my arms around her and didn't wake up until we were starting our decent into Rio de Janeiro. It took her a little time to get awake, but when she did all the exhaustion I'd seen before was gone.

After getting off the plane, I guided us toward the baggage claim to gather our things. When Bella realized that we were leaving the airport her heart began to pick up speed. I pushed aside my concern. She was okay. We were almost to our destination, and I knew how much Bella hated surprises. She had to be anxious.

Putting our bags onto a cart so that I could keep my hand free to hold onto her, we headed to the front of the airport to get a taxi. Bella's eyes never stopped moving as she took in everything. I knew she'd never been to South America.

The last time I'd been here it had been a very sad time indeed. I didn't want to think about that. She was here, by my side. That was all that mattered.

A taxi pulled up, and we headed to the marina. As the ride continued I noticed her breathing had also begun to change a little. It wasn't anything too drastic so I just kept an eye on it. If something were bothering her, she would tell me.

Our driver pulled the cab right up to the docks, and I helped Bella out before going to assist the driver with our bags. Since we had no cart this time and we still had an audience, I was not able to hold Bella's hand as we walked the short distance to the family yacht.

The boat was designed for speed rather than comfort given our family had no need to things such as sleeping compartments. If our destination weren't so close, I would have arranged for other more luxurious transportation.

I loaded the bags onto the boat making sure they were secure before turning to help Bella on board. Her eyes were wide and I couldn't help but smile. She was my wife. This was really happening. We were almost to the island and the start of our honeymoon. The start of our eternity together.

Suddenly, I couldn't wait another second before getting on our way. I began moving about the boat making sure everything was ready for us to leave. Bella just sat and watched me.

Once everything was in order and I made sure Bella was ready, I took my place behind the wheel and turned on the engine. The sound filled the night air. Bella jumped a little at the initial noise and the smile I'd been keeping contained released.

I maneuvered out of the harbor and into the open water. The island was still out of view even for my eyes at this distance, but in about forty-five minutes I should be able to see the first signs on the horizon.

Bella sat back in her seat for the first thirty-seven minutes barely moving. She just watching the water went by around us. The boat sent tiny droplets of water all around her creating a light sheen of moisture on her hair and face. I had glanced back every few minutes to see the moonlight played against her skin, so it surprised me when I heard her speak up and ask me if we were going much farther with a hint of panic in her voice.

Turning my head to take her all in, I noticed her hands clinched to the seats. Her heart was racing. I knew how fast I was going and how much she hated my family's preference for speed. So with a huge grin on my face I answered, "About another half hour."

I stole another glance at her and saw the resigned look on her face. The pout was beginning to show again. Why was it that every time I wanted to kiss her tonight that it was not a possibility?

That thought led to others. To what tonight would hold for us. I could no longer deny that I wanted this just as much as she did. Maybe more.

Far in the distance I could make out the outline for Isle Esme. I knew she wouldn't be able to see it yet so I waited for another seven minutes before calling her. "Bella, look there," I said pointing straight ahead.

Her eyes squinted trying to find what I was pointing at in the distance. I could tell at first she didn't see anything, and then recognition shown in her eyes. "Where are we?" she asked with a hint of wonder in her voice.

She wasn't mad. Didn't appear to be upset in anyway. Bella was going to except her gift.

"This is Isle Esme," I told her with a sense of pride. Carlisle had bought it for Esme about twenty years ago as an anniversary present.

"Isle Esme?" Bella asked.

"A gift from Carlisle. Esme offered to let us borrow it," I explained.

Bella stood at my side not saying anything more as I maneuvered us into the slip. There was only a small dock here big enough for two boats if need be.

We were no longer near any other humans so I didn't have to watch my movements. It took no time for me to anchor the boat and unload the suitcases onto the dock.

When I turned back to her I could barely contain myself. I reached out for her and pulled her into my arms causing her to take in a quick lung full of air. Once she'd gotten her breathing somewhat regulated again she asked, "Aren't you supposed to wait for the threshold?"

I shifted her into one arm as I reached down to grab the steamer trunks with the other. "I'm nothing if not thorough," I beamed at her.

It didn't take me long to wind through the short walkway up to the house. I'd asked the staff to keep the light on for us, as we'd be arriving late. So far everything looked perfect.

Only then did I fully let what was before us set in. We were here. Alone. On our honeymoon.

There was no one to interrupt us. No family. No fathers. It was just us. A vampire and his very human wife.

Bella's heart began to beat harder in her chest. I had to wonder if she was thinking and feeling the same things as I was at that very moment. My eyes searched her face, but she didn't look at me. Would we really be able to do this?

I set the suitcases on the porch and opened the doors to the house. This time I looked down at Bella and waited until her eyes met mine before I stepped inside crossing the threshold with my bride.

There were so many feelings running through my head, but I tried not to focus too hard on any of them. Bella was the only one that mattered. I had to make sure she was safe. That she felt safe. I didn't want her to be afraid.

I carried us through the house until I reached the master bedroom. I'd never been here myself, but I knew from Carlisle and Esme's thoughts what the room looked like. They didn't come here often, but it was their sanctuary. This room opened up to the beach. The waves were crashing against the sand outside and I knew even Bella would be able to hear.

Placing her on her feet, I reluctantly released her. "I'll…go get the luggage," I said before quickly leaving the room.

If it hadn't been made real to me before, seeing the large bed in the center of the room made it so. The time had come. There was no more stalling. No more preparing. It was time to see if we could do this. If I could give her what she most wanted before becoming a vampire.

Effortlessly I picked up the luggage and brought it inside. I could hear her moving about in the next room and took a deep breath. Already her scent was drifting through the house and filling it. It was amazing how much it calmed me now.

I made my way back to Bella, and found her standing before the bed with her hand outstretched to touch the white netting surrounding the bed. Silently I moved to stand behind her.

There was a small bead of moisture slowly running down her neck. I caught it with the tip of my finger. "It's a little hot here," I said in way of apology. But I wanted her to understand why I'd accepted Esme's offer. "I thought…that would be best."

"Thorough," she said so quietly that a human would have had difficulty hearing it.

Of course Bella wouldn't require an explanation as to why a warm climate would be a good thing. "I tried to think of everything that would make this…easier."

I watched her swallow nervously. If she changed her mind, I wouldn't try to persuade her.

But deep down I knew she wouldn't alter her course. Once Bella decided on something there was no dissuading her. I would give her what she wanted. We would try.

Her heart was beating out of control right now. We'd been traveling for almost twenty-four hours. If this was going to happen, I wanted her to enjoy herself. I wanted it to be memorable. "I was wondering if…first…maybe you'd like to take a midnight swim with me?"

I was nervous. Although I'd been alive for over one hundred years, this was new to me too. So after taking a deep breath I said, "The water will be very warm." Then remembering her explanation of why she didn't like beaches in Forks, "This is the kind of beach you approve of."

With my tone I had tried to be light, to ease this tension that now seemed to suddenly surround us. It didn't work, and her voice broke when she answered, "Sounds nice."

I wasn't exactly sure what I should do now, but given the assumption that at the very least she would like to have a few minutes to either change or clean up from our trip or both, "I'm sure you'd like a human minute or two…It was a long journey."

She responded with only a nod. I closed my eyes trying to silence all the reasons for us not to attempt this that were resurfacing.

I needed to find my center. My calm. I needed Bella.

Leaning down to brush my lips just below her ear, I could feel her pulse beneath my lips. The evidence of her life.

I heard her reaction to the touch of my cold lips on her overheated skin. It was what I had needed and I laughed softly. "Don't take too long, Mrs. Cullen."

Bella jumped a little, but I was not sure if it was in reaction to what I was doing or the use of her new name. Either way I continued. My lips moved lightly down her neck until I reached the edge of her shoulder. I knew it was time to go. "I'll wait for you in the water," I whispered.

My steps were heavy as I walked away from her, and headed for the French door that would take me to the beach. I felt the separation immediately as soon as I stepped outside. It wasn't her scent or her body heat. It was her. Only her.

Every step away from her was an increase in anxiety. I knew she felt anxious herself when I left her to go hunting, but I wondered how it compared. Vampire feelings and reactions were intensified. They were many times more potent that those of humans. And yet that did not make me belittle her feelings of separation any less. I knew she felt as I did when we were apart even if it wasn't on the same level, which made me wonder if coming together in every way physically possible would also have similar emotions attached to it.

I reached the beach and could hear that Bella was now in the bathroom. Her heartbeat still raced too fast telling of her anxiety. I knew that no matter what she said that she was nervous, but I had no idea about which parts.

Even though I couldn't see her from here, I glanced back at the house. If I could read her mind, know what she was thinking, I could help. I could maybe make things better. Easier.

It was a vain hope, as it always was as I tried yet again to focus my gift. Nothing had changed. Bella's mind was still closed to me.

I heard more movement inside and then the shower. And as always seemed to happen when my mind began to imagine Bella and water together, my body began to react of it's own accord. This was not what I needed right now. Frustrated, I discarded my clothes and raced into the water plunging head first into the shallow surf.

When I resurfaced I realized that although I could still clearly see the house, Bella would not be able to see me. I stayed above the surface this time as I took my time swimming back towards the shore.

There were so many things going through my mind as I replayed everything that had happened, everything that I'd learned in the last month. What had seemed like a far off impossibility was now a reality. And one that I felt was at least possible.

The fear of hurting her was still there. No matter how many times she assured me that I couldn't hurt her, I knew that to disregard it completely would be a mistake. Could be a deadly mistake. At no time tonight could I forget that she was so very breakable.

The water inside shut off, and I knew my time was running out. She would be coming soon. Joining me here in the water. How would she feel when she realized that I was no longer wearing clothes?

Then there was the question of whether she would be. I had no idea what Alice had packed her. Would she join me in a bathing suit or decide that there had been enough waiting? Just the thought of finally being able to see her, touch her, feel her without the barrier of clothes made every cell in my body react and the pace of my breathing increase.

Ironically, it was hearing Bella mumble something that sounded like 'Don't be a coward' that calmed me down. It wasn't what she said, because I couldn't be certain those were even the words she'd uttered. It was just the sound of her voice. The knowledge that it was HER that would be coming to me.

My eyes drifted up to the full moon that filled the sky tonight as I waited for her. I controlled my breathing and forced myself to calm. And just as I was finally feeling in control of myself again, I heard the door to the house open and the sound of my love's footsteps in the sand.

Each of her steps was measured, but sure. She was determined. Of Bella I would expect no less.

I heard her stop as she came to the tree. She hesitated. Was she looking for me?

She would have noticed my clothes. Was she trying to decide if she should remove her own?

Should I turn around? Go to her?

No, I decided. This had to be on her terms. And so I waited.

Then I heard material moving and scraping against what sounded like a tree. She was removing her clothing. I had to take another three deep breaths to calm myself again.

Her footsteps once again filled the air as she moved toward me. The closer she moved towards me, the more intense her scent became. The more my body reacted to her. There was…anticipation.

Water hit her skin and I could almost feel the ripple effect from the disturbance her body caused to the water. With each step she took I could both hear and feel the motion, but I forced myself to remain where I was. I could tell she was still nervous. I wasn't doing much better.

Finally she was at my side; her body heat, so close to that of the water, and yet still quite distinct. My hands rested on top of the liquid surface in front of me. Bella lifted the fingers of her left hand to cover my right.

She looked up towards where my gaze was resting on the moon. "Beautiful," she said reverently.

I wouldn't quite place the word beautiful onto the moon. It was nothing compared to her. "It's all right," I answered turning towards her for the first time.

My eyes raked over every inch of her that I could see, which included the tops of her breasts. I didn't let my eyes linger although the image was permanently etched in my mind. The last thing I wanted to do was make her uncomfortable.

Briefly I registered a faint darkening on her upper arms where his hands had held her too tightly, and had to control my reaction quickly. Jacob Black had left his mark on my Bella in too many ways already. I would not allow his last attempt to mare our night, or any other night. Bella had chosen me and I was selfish enough to take what she was offering.

Twisting my hand in the water so that I could hold onto hers, I let my eyes find the brown depths that were filled with so much love for me. "But I wouldn't use the word beautiful. Not with you standing here in comparison." She smiled a little, a light blush covering her cheeks, gracefully taking my compliment.

Her free hand came up from the warm water to rest softly on my chest just above my silent heart. It was at moments like this when I wished with everything that I had, everything that I am, that it could come alive and beat for her. My body shuttered with the intensity of emotion that I felt for her. There wasn't anything that I wouldn't give her now or for the rest of our existence.

I knew looking into her eyes that there was no turning back for either of us. Not for tonight. Not for the future. She was my mate, and I was hers.

My breathing was heavier than normal and it caused my words to come out less steady than I'd hoped. "I promised we would try," I said, trying to force out what I needed to say. To get out the words that I needed her to hear one more time before we did anything. "If…if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once."

She just nodded silently and took a step towards me. I felt my breathing become less steady as I listened to her heart start to race faster. Her head fell lightly against my chest. "Don't be afraid," she whispered. "We belong together."

I swallowed and pulled her closer into my arms. Her breasts, unbound and uncovered, pressed against my cold hard skin for the first time. Although the warmth of the water helped, there was still a noticeable contrast in our temperatures. I knew even she would notice, but also that it was mostly likely the last thing on her mind. Unlike any other human I had ever met, the feeling of my skin against hers comforted Bella. She had never shied away.

My lips grazed the top of her wet hair. "Forever," I pledged once more.

I pulled us deeper into the water and lifted her higher into my arms until our faces were level. The water was fairly quite tonight so I was able to continue out until the soft waves were hitting us just below our shoulders.

Bella moved her arms to wrap around my neck and I secured mine at her waist. Her legs dangled freely in the water.

I closed my eyes and just felt. Her soft curves to my hard unmovable body. Not one detail was lost to me. I could even feel the curly hairs where her legs met pressing against my stomach. Just thinking about what I would find there caused me to tense with a need that only she had ever been able to illicit from me.

"Are you okay," she asked.

My eyes came open and met her worried ones. "Yes," I answered. Then I decided that tonight I needed to be honest in all things. If I was expecting her to tell me her needs, I should honor her by returning the same. "I was just enjoying the feel of you. Us. Without anything between us."

"Oh," she breathed.

"It feels better than I could have ever dreamed it to be." Her face flushed my favorite shade of red.

With great tenderness, I lifted my right hand to her face and traced a line from her temple to her lips. "You truly are the most beautiful thing in my world. I am so very glad to be able to claim you as my wife."

Her blush deepened, increasing the heat everywhere we were touching. The feel of her lips were calling to me under my fingers.

Closing the gap between us, I tilted her chin up and brought our lips together.

If someone would have told me yesterday that kissing Bella could have gotten any better than what I had previously experienced, I would not have believed them. But it was. I couldn't say if it was the lack of clothing or just the knowledge of what was to come, but where before every touch had been electric now it was on fire.

Her hands came up to grip my hair, pulling herself closer to me as our lips enjoyed a dance all their own. Our mouths opened as the kiss deepened and my cold sweet breath mingled with her warm intoxicating aroma creating a unique fragrance unlike anything else.

Suddenly Bella pulled herself up and wrapped her legs around my waist causing me to gasp. I wanted to hold her closer and push her away at the same time. I could feel her. Feel her against my stomach. The water took away the intensity of the scent that I knew would be there, however it couldn't take away the heat.

My hand behind her back clinched into a fist and my lips stopped moving against hers. Bella waited for a few seconds allowing me time to adjust. Then her lips brushed against mine. "You don't have to fight it, Edward. It's okay to let go. I'm your wife remember."

Bella was my wife. This was what she had wanted. What we had spent the last month practicing for. Unclenching my fist, I took a deep breath filling myself with her essence before flattening my palm against her lower back and moving it lower. The feel of her bare bottom beneath my hand made me want to push things farther.

My other hand had been resting on her neck, but now it began to make it's way lower. With slow concentration, I moved to take Bella's breast into my hand for the first time.

Even after being in the water for a while now, my palm was still cold and her nipple pebbled even harder than what it had been. Bella let out a ragged breath and clamped her legs tighter around me causing my own breathing to change and my entire body to shiver. Our mouths were still hovering only a breath away. I could feel every inhale. Every exhale.

Taking her bottom lip once again between mine, I began to massage as my fingers explored this part of her body that was newly opened to me. She was so very soft here, just like I knew she would be. And it was amazing to gage her reactions. Every time I did something she liked she would release a quick breath. I was fascinated. And completely aroused.

I didn't think Bella could feel the evidence of my excitement given her current position, and I was in no hurry to make her aware of it. We were going to have to take this slow if we had any chance of success, and it had been easy enough for her to push me beyond my limits when are clothes were still fully intact between us.

One of Bella's hands trailed down my back. Her fingers sent waves of fire everywhere they touched. It was amazing how something so simple could feel so good when it was her doing it.

As our kiss intensified, so did our hands. She seemed determined to get as close to me as was possible, and I was losing the battle trying to remember why that was a bad idea. The fire in my throat was the last thing on my mind. What held my concentration was a growing flame located much lower. I wanted to get to the source of the heat that was pressing against my stomach.

Her tongue darted out to run along my lips and it took all my will power not to crush her in response. The water had its advantages, but it also meant that I could not let go of her if I needed to. I needed more versatility.

Without releasing her lips or changing our positions, I began to move us toward the shore. It wasn't until the water had gone below her waist that Bella asked in a coy little voice that made me want to race into the house, "And where are you taking me, Mr. Cullen?"

With great effort I kept my feet moving at a slow and steady human pace, swallowed, and answered her. "I thought maybe it was time to leave the water. That maybe the bed would be better."

I thought I'd done a decent job of keeping my voice even and my face neutral, well as neutral as I was capable of given I had my naked wife in my arms, but Bella responded not only with a smirk but by twisting herself down my body just enough to brush my erection. All thoughts of a human pace left me in an instant as I raced into the house and laid her as gently as possible onto the bed.

When I looked into Bella's eyes, there was no longer any humor. I knew that look. I'd seen it many times before from her. She wanted me. Me. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen.

Climbing onto the bed with her, I hovered over her making sure to support my own weight. Neither of us spoke as we allowed our eyes to say everything that was needed in the moment.

I brought my lips down to hers letting my passion take control. She met me with renewed excitement obviously thrilled that I wasn't holding on as tightly to my calm reserve as I usually did. But that wasn't possible at the moment. Wanting Bella was the only thing filling my too vast mind.

Her hands came up and began rubbing my chest. I wanted her to touch every inch of me. She didn't mind my alien body. I felt wanted in a way I'd never experienced before Bella.

Bella's hands moved slowly but deliberately. Every touch was like the first. I wanted her to feel everything that I was feeling.

My mouth moved shakily down her jaw to the pause point in her neck. I could feel her blood pumping under my lips, but it held no appeal to me beyond the knowledge that it was pumping much faster than normal and that I was the reason.

With a feather light touch, I continued down to her collarbone. It was taking bit of control I had to go slow, to touch her softly. "You are so beautiful, Bella. So beautiful," I whispered against her skin.

Bella's back arched as I neared her breasts. Her hands came up to tangle in my hair to encourage me down to the white mounds that were now within my reach. "Edward," she begged. "Please."

I placed my nose directly between her breasts and inhaled deeply. Her scent here was still more intense, and I enjoyed the freedom to take my time.

My nose skimmed the skin on the outside of her breasts, circling each one in turn. Bella's hands fisted in my hair and her breathing stopped as I neared the nipple of her right breast. "Breath," I whispered letting the cold air from my mouth cause her to gasp as it sent goose bumps floating over her skin.

And then my tongue snaked out from between my lips and ran a smooth line around the hard peek. Bella's reaction went right to my groin and I had to abandon my efforts momentarily resting my head on her chest.

Of course Bella would blame herself for my lack of control. "I'm sorry. I'll try…"

My head came up to meet her gaze, and my finger covered her lips to silence her. I didn't answer her with words. Instead, my mouth found its place again and picked up where it left off paying attention to this part of Bella's body that was newly open to me. I felt her exhaled response against the finger still at her mouth.

No more words were spoken between us for a long time as we both took our time to explore each other's bodies. We kiss and touched.

It was much easier than what I thought it would be. There were times when I would get overwhelmed and begin to hold her too tightly, but I would always hear her heartbeat, her sigh, her moan, and regaining control was relatively easy.

My lips kissed their way down her stomach. We'd talked about oral sex and although I didn't think I could handle Bella attempting to do anything to me tonight, I wanted to see if I could at least give her something.

When I neared the hair that provided the only covering for her most private place, I paused to take a deep breath. Her scent was stronger here than anywhere else and I felt the burn increase down my throat and into my stomach. But still, it held no appeal to me beyond that of a man for his woman.

My hands tightened, wrapping themselves in the sheets as I pressed forward. Keeping my lips firmly closed, I placed a kiss on her clitoris. Bella's hands twisted the material beneath them and a fresh wave of her scent hit me.

With every kiss I placed to her lips, her inner thighs, and her clitoris, she lost her hold on the present just a little more. Her eyes rolled back into her head and her breaths erratic.

I wasn't doing much better. For the last twenty minutes, I had been pressing my lower half against the bed as I lay between her legs trying to provide a counter point for the ache that I was experiencing. Trying to keep myself focused on something else other than her body.

I wanted her, but I needed to make sure she was ready. This was going to be difficult for both of us for so many reasons. I needed to stay focused. Remember her needs. There was not only the temperature of my body, but also my unyielding hardness. My body wasn't going to give as a normal human's would.

With one finger I circled just inside Bella's entrance seeing how she would react. Her muscles clenched around my finger and she let out a low moan. It was all the encouragement I needed to push forward and let her heat surround my finger. She gasped and clenched at the same time that a low growl filled my chest.

All thought for pacing went out the window. I removed my finger and moved back up her body to capture her mouth again. This kiss was hard and filled with so much emotion. Emotion that I was having trouble containing.

I wanted her. I wanted to mark her as my mate. To claim her in the most primal way.

My hands came up to cup her face not allowing her to escape the brutal assault of my lips. A part of me said I was being too rough, but Bella's hands on my shoulder, my hair, my arms, pulling me closer, asking for more, only pushed that voice farther into the recesses of my mind.

"Please," she begged. And who was I to deny the reason for my existence what we both desired.

Moving my hands lower, I positioned myself to enter her for the first time. With my right hand supporting my weight, I used my left to guide my shaft into her heat.

We both stilled, neither one of us breathing, as nothing but sensation filled both of us. She gasped sending a wave of her scent into my face. My primal growl bounced off the walls of the room as I pressed forward until I reached her barrier within.

"Bella?" I said through gritted teeth.

She didn't respond.

"Bella? Love?" I said managed again.

"Edward," she moaned holding tight to my shoulders. "Edward, please. Please don't stop."

Cinching my eyes shut, I pressed forward through the barrier of her virginity and into her fully. I opened my eyes in time to see the pain cross her face and held as still as I could until it dissipated. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. Harder than resisting her blood that first day.

Finally she relaxed again and her eyes opened. A smile crossed her lips that momentarily had me forgetting our position. Her hands came up to frame my face as she pulled my mouth to hers. "I love you," she whispered.

Those words had never ment more to me. This was it. We were together in every physically way possible, and yet she was not repulsed. She didn't see me as a vampire. She just saw me. Not questioning her decision, her demand that we try before she joined me as an immortal.

"Oh, Bella," I said burring my face into her shoulder as I began to move trying not to lose myself in these new sensations. "My love, you feel…" It was hard to describe how she felt. There was no way that she could understand.

There was an electric current that surrounded us. A fire that burned everywhere we touched. And then there was the feel of being inside her. It was like warm silk. The finest silk you could ever imagine. I never wanted to leave. It felt like for once in my life everything just fit. I was complete.

Bella tried to move with me, as we both got lost in each other. I tried to stay focused. Tried to watch how I was touching her. But I couldn't concentrate.

She was everywhere. She owned me heart and body and even soul if I still had one to give.

The longer we stayed connected the more lost I became. It was as it I couldn't get close enough to her, and she seemed to feel the same. Our hands moved. Our lips touched and caressed each other. I tried to be as gentle as I could, but I wasn't sure if I was managing. I just couldn't…it took everything I had not to grip her too tightly.

Her body was on fire under my touch. And then I felt her muscles begin to tighten around me.

Bella's eyes were closed. Her skin flushed a beautiful pink.

I felt another surge of possession greater than I'd ever felt in the past as her back arched and she screamed my name. She was mine!

Something happened to me when I felt her climax pulling at me. Since I'd gotten to know Bella, falling in love with her, she had always made me feel more human. I felt anything but human now. I felt crazied. Like nothing more than the animal that I was.

The pulse in her neck called to me and a roar left my lips as I thrust into her one last time. My mouth opened and teeth bared razor sharp. I did the only thing that was in my power. I lunged for the pillow beside her head and shredded it.

I could taste the dry feathers beneath my tongue. The pillowcase had been no match for my teeth.

The pillow took a lot of torture before I released it. Feathers were everywhere.

Slowly I pulled back enough to look at her. She had the most amazing look on her face. It was somewhere between utter relaxation and pure happiness.

Her pulse was faster than normal, but steady. We'd done it. I had no idea how, but we had.

I pulled out of her and rolled us over, arranging her in her favorite position with her head resting on my chest. She hummed and cuddled against me as I wrapped my arms around her.

The door was still open leading out to the beach. Tonight had been perfect. Better than I could have ever hoped for.

I kissed the top of her head taking in this new scent of she and I mixed together unlike we had ever been before as she drifted off to sleep in my arms. She was now my mate in every sense. Tomorrow would be another day. And we would be together. Forever.

THE END

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**End Notes:**

**I hope you have all enjoyed Perspective. I know I've had fun writting it. There will be some more outtakes eventually although I'm not sure what they are going to be yet. Thank you to all who have made suggestions. **

**Please don't forget to review and thank you all again for reading. :)**

**If any of you are intersted in following my boring self on twitter, you can find me under ekimmuh. **


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